What is an mkingdon? Well, it is a long story, but a simple one.
I have an addiction to Walt Disney World and Florida, and have done little else but holiday there for the past ten years. Worse than that, I have written about it too,in the form of long and detailed trip reports mainly on The Dibb. Upon joining that site I had to choose a username. I chose mkingdom, with the obvious relation to the Magic Kingdom. However, I am cursed with less than perfect typing skills, and I actually entered mkingdon.
So it all started there really, and people have come to know me as that, so I’ve sort of adopted it as my online identity.
Behind the name is a late thirties Boltonian with two girls, and Louise, a wife. I work in IT/Web stuff, and endure it to the best of my ability.
You can find me in various places online. You should follow me on Twitter, and I am facebooked up too.
Having been a single parent all week, I can’t believe how busy I’ve been, and therefore how quickly time has flown since last weekend.
Louise is still in hospital, waiting for anything like a decent diagnosis, and is pretty fed up. My car knows the route to the hospital without any assistance from me, and the days seem to fly by in a dizzying routine of work, visiting, eating crap, and collapsing into bed.
Work was nothing notable, although I did have a very interesting meeting with a lady called Suw (yes it really is spelt like that), to discuss the phenom….phunom….new thing that is social media and how we should be using it as a company to communicate with our customers. Few things work related capture my interest these days, but this meeting was one of them. The fact that things such as social media consultants exist blows my mind, and it echoes what the headmaster said at the girl’s school recently. Apparently 40% of the pupils now in school will do jobs that don’t exist yet!!
George Michael is gay??? Really???
I believe that, as when I was at school, and Grange Hill was on TV, Wham in the charts and you could buy cans of Quattro, the idea of having a job that involved managing web sites would have been crazy, mainly as no-one would have known what a web site was!! Anyway, that is what has happened to me, so goodness knows what the girls will do for a living.
Having just made myself sound about 206 years old, I should point out how young, credible and hip I am by telling you that I managed to actually purchase an item of clothing for Rebecca today, without her being there, that she likes and is willing to wear. Fo Schnizel…as the young folk tend to say.
Forgive the brief nature of this entry, but my brain is frazzeled, my body weak, and I need to consume some mindless TV and/or play copious amounts of mindless X-Box games in an attempt to relax and unwind.
I shall hopefully post again during the week with news of Louise’s return home. Fingers crossed.
As we speak (well technically, we are not speaking, unless of course you are speaking whilst reading this, which is impressive muti tasking, and pretty unlikely, but I think you know what I mean) Louise is on ward F5 of the Royal Bolton Hospital. I have no idea what makes a hospital Royal though, as I certainly don’t think any royalty have graced it.
Anyone who has known Louise for a period of time will know that this set of circumstances isn’t the most unusual in the world. Indeed our annual passholder car park pass is again coming in handy, and it is always nice to be greeted by your first name and a wave as you enter A&E. She has had a plethora (that in itself isn’t an illness) of ailments and operations over the years, and we are very well rehearsed at the trip to A&E scenario.
Friday saw another one. I was at work, and Louise sent me a text that she was on her way to A&E having spent Thursday night in incredible pain. As routine as this type of thing is, I was still less than happy that she had driven herself there. Anyway, I left work and made my way to A&E, where we began the well known routine.
Step 1.
Try to explain to the thirteen year old doctor a forty year history of operations and procedures, guessing at dates, and wishing we’d written all this down.
Step 2.
Wait
Step 3.
Finally, Louise gets some proper pain relief and colour returns to cheeks.
Step 4.
Wait
Step 5.
Blood tests and Xray.
Step 6.
Wait.
Usually once the pain is managed and they can’t find any real reason for it, Louise is sent home, and wished well until the next time. However this time she was admitted, as sometimes happens, for tests and stuff.
That was Friday. Sunday morning has arrived and there has been little action to be honest, and the promised scans etc look like taking place tomorrow.
Fringe with iPod
We visited last night, and took Louise the essentials. Not Lucozade and flowers. More like Clarins face wash, moistureiser and two Toffee Crisps. Louise hadn’t eaten since mid Friday.
As this is week 2 of her Weight Watchers campaign (losing a healthy four pounds in Week 1) this nil by mouth apart from two toffee crisps should see further impressive results!
The girls took their own essentials, however Emily forgot her iPod earphones so they had to share. We all have to make sacrifices at times like these I suppose. The girls lasted a full ten minutes at bedside before becoming too loud and annoying for a very tired and morphine filled Louise so they were despatched to the shop for their own safety. I lasted about an hour before I had the same effect, and was sent home.
So we’ll have to wait and see just how long Louise will be in, and in the mean time I am becoming a black belt at the washing machine, and will be ironing and stuff later. Not that I don’t do this stuff normally of course!!
Add in the fact that I have to do the “big shop” too, and I could play the woe is me card. However, it could be worse, I could be the one lay in hospital next to some less than dazzling company, from, (allow me to be a snob for a second) less celubrious areas of town, not knowing what is causing all this pain, and wondering what will happen next.
Plus how rubbish must it be to be in hospital at the same place you go to work everyday!! Anyway, at least it means Louise’s boss can easily make sure she really is ill and not swinging lead or any other heavy metal.
Other fringe with iPod
So as Sunday morning drifts into Sunday afternoon it is time to get the girls out of bed, unload the washer, load the dryer, hand out random chores to the girls, make sure they are doing that homework they have said they were doing all last week, then go to the supermarket, come home, put shopping away, make the girls some tea, have a row as they haven’t done that homework still, then go and visit Louise, and try not to get on her nerves too much, and come home.
Plus somewhere in all of that I have several hours of XBox to fit in. I really don’t know how I shall!!
There are certain times in a parent’s life when you see a definite shift in your relationship with your kids.
You know the sort of thing…when your twelve year old daughter gets pregnant and runs away with a forty three year old circus hand from Wakefield. Thankfully, (touches wood, and I don’t mean anything smutty here) we haven’t come close to anything of such magnitude, but still this week a less shocking wake up call caught me off guard.
I have talked previously about Emily’s boyfriend, and my extreme regret that I did not hate him. Well, sadly this relationship came to an end this week, and I had to endure the sight of Emily’s upset, knowing that no amount of kind words, tea and sympathy would make any difference. There are no pills for a broken heart! This sort of event has really snuck up on me, as in my mind Emily is still a little girl. I appreciate that most fourteen year olds have a drug habit, mixed race child and a council house these days, but Emily is (perhaps in my rose tinted view) still a young fourteen year old.
So landmark events like a break up can bring home the reality that –
a) I am getting old
b) The girls are too, and are developing their own lives.
However, other very small things can also hit home too. On Thursday the girls went to Manchester, on the train, on their own, straight from school. Not a life changer, I admit, and indeed they have been before under their own steam, but I don’t know why but this sort of cemented the fact that they are quite capable of reading a time table, and not falling beneath a train!!
They wore more at the signing
Anyway, they went to attend a signing at a record shop. They met All Time Low and The Blackout. As some sort of weird contradiction, I have indeed heard of both of these, and can even claim to have some ATL (see, I talk in abbreviations I am so hip) on my iPod. As I was driving home from work on Thursday I sent them both a text to
a) make sure they were still alive
b) see how they were getting on
Rebecca called me back. Well, I think it was Rebecca, as that is the name my phone showed me. The voice on the other end was somewhat drowned out by a thousand pubescent girls screaming random names. Rebecca herself spoke to me in a voice so high one of my ear drums burst. Just as I thought she could not get any higher she moved up a gear, in both pitch and volume, I think, telling me something about (insert name of ATL lead singer) saying “Hi” and telling her he liked her T Shirt.
Emily, being all cool, replied to my text in abbreviations I’m not sure I fully understood to tell me she had met The Blackout and they had all signed her schoolbag. I am writing to their management to request a full reimbursement!!!
Anyway, back to the small event….you remember???
After picking them up at the train station (and dropping their friend off, why is it always us who do all the running round???) I stopped at the local chip shop so they could get a healthy and nutricious meal. On auto pilot I park up and start to get out of the car. At the same time they did the same, and look at me in a ‘We are quite capable of getting our own chips” way.
So they did, and as I watched them cross the road, and walk to the shop I realised
a) just how tall they are getting
b) that I almost didn’t recognise them with their masses of hair, fringe and that loping teenager walk.
So after realising that my worth to them is diminishing with every day, and planning just when to get my mid life crisis sports car delivered, I consoled myself with the fact that twenty four hours earlier I had sat on Emily’s bed, with her hugging me tightly whilst the tears flowed. Emily was also quite upset about her break up, and I didn’t cry for too long!!!
So maybe my usefulness is just changing. No longer do I need to change nappies full of brightly coloured nuclear waste, and wander zombie like into the kitchen, in just my underwear, at some silly hour to warm a bottle of milk. However, I do run a decent taxi service, can (almost) fund their dizzying social life, and every now and again be a shoulder to cry on when disaster strikes.
So I’ll keep doing that until I have to remortgage the house to fund their weddings (in Florida….it is my only condition), and hunt down and destroy any other spotty little herbert who thinks he has the right to break either of their hearts. Frankly, there isn’t a boy in existence worthy of either, so good luck trying lads. I’ll be watching.
So this week saw the long awaited launch of the latest thing with an i in front of it from Apple.
Working for a company that sells this stuff I really should give more of a toss, but I can’t seem to muster the enthusiasm. I have caught a few soundbites about this new thing, and really the thing that sticks out more than any of the product features is, just how high is Steve Jobs’ voice? Imagine Mickey Mouse on helium.
Only dogs can hear him
I’m a bit confused by this iPad thing to be honest.
Firstly, it sounds like some sort of sanitary product, with built in wireless. Now that can’t be a good thing. Secondly, I was pretty sure that the world had decided that tablet PCs were, well, rubbish, and having seen sales peak at about seven worldwide, they had been consigned to the bottom drawer of the IT industry.
However, it seems if there is an i in front of the name, then it instantly becomes the MUST have product of the decade.
Don’t get me wrong, I type this here rambling on a shiny silver laptop with a picture of fruit on the lid, and my phone has the symbolic i in front of it. Both items however are supplied by work, and I would never be able to justify the expense, heck, the inflated expense of the Apple logo from my own pocket.
My iPhone is superb, no argument, and how I lived without that App which tells me where the nearest Starbucks is I will surely never know. This laptop, again is fine and dandy, but to the intense chargrain of many an Apple freak I am running Windows on it. I know I will be hunted down by the Nerd Army for such blasphemy, but I just can’t get used to an Apple OS after being brought up on that there nasty Windows.
A big iPhone, without the Phone bit
Anyway, I think I shall write to Mr Jobs, as I have already developed the next big Apple release. This week, I made the mistake of handing in my perfectly functioning 3G iPhone, tempted by the carrot of a new 3GS. Upon doing so, everything worked perfectly….apart from the Phone bit. So I could browse the internet, receive emails, and via a suitable App and the magic of Twitter see what several minor celebs had for breakfast.
Unfortuantely for the best part of this week, I could not text or phone anyone. Having two girls of 12 and 14, this cut off their primary form of communication with me. So my iPhone turned into a very small laptop.
So, with that in mind, and the new iPad thingy, my new device idea is…..wait for it…..
an iPad Mini!!!
All Steve has to do is turn off the phone bit of an iPhone and Bob’s your uncle.
So if Mr Jobs happens across this here little blog, my terms are very reasonable, and I hereby copyright said idea until your big fat cheque lands on my doormat. Don’t bother phoning me Steve, as likely as not, it will be broken again, and even if it isn’t I won’t be able to tell what you are saying unless Henry my Cocker Spaniel is around to translate.
Today’s entry will be a mini (or more relevantly, a mondeo) rant.
I have been massively frustrated since xmas at the ridiculous levels of traffic on the roads. Did everyone get a new car for xmas or something??
It seems that leaving of a morning at our usual time is no longer good enough, and I don’t think I’ve been on time for work this year. Naturally, being of such seniority and immense import that no-one dare question this is handy!! The main reason for the morning time delays are Emily and Rebecca, who just won’t get up. No strike that, Rebecca will get up, but then spends just five precious minutes too many on preening, straightening, foundationing and all round beautifying.
So after soaking Emily with cold water, physically dragging her from her bed, and playing music at full volume, we always leave just those few minutes too late to avoid the stomach wrenching stress of not quite being able to arrive on time. What do you mean you don’t get that feeling? Are you trying to suggest that I am in some way wired a little tightly in that area? As if.
The return home has been even worse!! I can see no reason for these hold ups. If I am to sit in traffic for any length of time, I expect at least some crumpled metal and a few severed limbs to gawp at as I rubber neck my way past said obstacle. Alas, no. It just seems to be sheer volume.
Then, as I leave the towny bits, and wind my way through the country bits of my journey home, I seem to be held up by driver after driver who think that human beings suffocate over 20mph. If you seen the film, The Truman Show, you may know the scene when he is trying to escape the “set” and car after car suddenly appears in front of him, thwarting his progress. Whether you know the film or not, this is what happens to me, I am convinced.
I know I should be calm in heavy traffic as I can do little about it, and getting stressed won’t help any. However I have scientific proof that driving two inches from the bumper in front, visibly shaking my head in disgust, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel and throwing my hands up in disbelief at every half competent manouevre makes all the difference. Well, it makes me feel better anyway.
So, if you are ever in front of a bright red Mondeo, with a balding, strangely attractive, yet stressed to hell bloke behind the wheel, spare a thought for my ever growing ulcer and either put your foot down or get out of my way!!
Apologies for the radio silence for the past week. That bloody thing called work just keeps getting in the way.
This week saw my final trip down to our Surbiton site to finish the consultation periods with the folks affected by the closure of that office. They were surprisingly, and thankfully quite up beat about the whole thing, as most had found other jobs already.
Happy Holidays
Due to our usual hotel being full we were forced to go all up market and stay at the Holiday Inn instead. Wow, amazing what an extra £20 a night can get you. Well, if I’m honest it gets you some mood lighting, a mini bar and a couple of free pens. Still, it was a nice place.
Due to the weather (how boring has it become to just talk about this crap weather all the time…so I won’t), I travelled by train rather than drive, and it was quite painless to be honest. With only a minor detour around the bowels of the tube station upon changing trains at Euston, the whole trip took less than four hours!
The rest of the week has been quite uneventful work wise, and I’m sick of going to work so I’m sure you are sick of hearing about it. Those who listen to me tweet (FOLLOW ME!!!) will know that I have a cold. Not that I complain about it or anything, but I could have wallpapered a room with the contents of my nose this past week, with no need for any paste!!
So I returned home late on Thursday evening, and was in bed by 9.45, with sleep taking me a milisecond before my head hit the pillow. Friday was a blur of boredom, and so to the start of the weekend.
Tube Tales
We watched a good film last night, vacating the living room for Rebecca and her friend so they could watch some horror flicks. I dread to think what they watched!! Anyway, back to me…this is my blog…..we watched the Taking of Pelham123 with Denzel Washington (Louise tells me he is a beautiful man) and John Travolta (Louise made no comment).
It was good, although not quite as good as I thought it may be. Denzel has packed some pounds on for the role it seems. I hate to see these middle aged men letting themselves go, what are they thinking!!
Then I had a bit of a revelation. Being all high brow, I flicked over to BBC Four to see if there was some documentary on post modern art in 1950’s Poland, or similar, only to find a surreal programme from the 1980’s. It was a sort of Audience with, television special from Neil Sedaka. If asked to describe him I would say he is a slightly more butch version of Liberace…but only a bit more. To paint the picture he was wearing a pink sequined tuxedo with matching cuban heels. Well, I guess it was acceptable in the 80’s!!
Anyway, as the programme progressed I was absolutely amazed at the massive amount of classic songs he has written. I am a big fan of songwriting, quality songwriting, and I don’t mind who does it. I like all sorts of them from all over the specturm….let’s have a non comprehensive list…
1. Crowded House (Neil Finn is a Kiwi Genius)
2. McFly (Danny and Tom are massively underrated, and highly talented. I am slightly biased as Danny is a local lad, and his parents live round the corner from the mother in law)
3. Hue and Cry (Obscure 80’s reference, but just great songwriting overlaced with swoonsome vocals)
4. Jellyfish (well, long term readers will know all about them. You tube is your friend to learn more)
5. George Michael (Class and quality over many decades)
6. Gary Barlow (no explanation needed)
7. Manilow (see, no amount of lack of crediblity can daunt my admiration for a good tune smith)
Butch Liberace
There are many more of course, but I was truly blown away with the Sedaka, and my iPod will be taking some Sedaka home later I can assure you. Just to highlight a few of the gems from his pen…
Solitaire
The Hungry Years
Love will keep us together
Breaking up is hard to do
Calendar Girl
Neil….much respect!!
I am a sucker for a good hook line on a song, and have scant regard for the cool factor…yes my iPod includes the Backstreet boys, Rush, the Buble, Level 42, and McAlmont & Butler amongst others. Heck, I’ll even admit to seeing Nik Kershaw live some years ago…damn he should have been in my list too. Forget his teenybop stuff, after that he got all grown up and wrote some belters that me and three others heard.
So there we go, I seem to have made you some sort of old school compilation tape of just a few of my favourite musical things…all because of the Sedaka. He moves in mysterious ways.
We’ve had some pretty terrible snow. I know that may sound like an obvious statement, but it only seems to have made it onto the national news today as, God forbid, snow has fallen within the M25. Due to that fact, about 90% of the news coverage at the moment is about this carnage. Never mind the fact that we’ve been up to our nuts in the stuff for about a week!!
Anyways….
It seems we are having one of those winters that everyone says they used to have when they were younger. A bit like all those summers in the seventies with hose pipe bans and frying eggs on car bonnets. 1976 aside I don’t recall anything like that (for the record my Dad told me about 1976 as obviously I am far too young to have any first hand knowledge of that event), and I can only remember school being cancelled a couple of times in my seemingly endless education.
So this week is a landmark event it seems, with my girls still to return to school following their xmas break, as school was closed yesterday, today, and so the school web site says, tomorrow. I suspect some geeky fourth year has hacked the school web site and is posting closure messages myself.
I endured one day back at work on Monday following my xmas break, and all I will say is that it lived up to expectations. Trying to get off our car park on Monday evening was eventful, but took much longer than it should as many drivers think that the best way to traverse the icy wastes is to leave the car in first gear, and simply hammer the accelerator until something happens. Monday night saw around eight inches of snow, and so I couldn’t even get the Mondeo off the (inclined) driveway on Tuesday morning. I tried much harder than even I thought I would, but after forty minutes I was just wet and annoyed.
Help, my paw is frozen to the door!!!
It turns out that the (un)lucky souls who were able to get in were sent home at lunch, with the snow still falling, and today has seen a closure again. Luckily (ahem) I have a job that I am largely able to do at home…apart from all those lovely meetings I usually attend, so there has been no family fun days here, with me and the kids appearing on local news reports sledging or building a snowman in the shape of Bill Oddie. Nope, I have been welded to the laptop, herding my team into some sort of productivity, knowing full well that I am competing with the Xbox, TV and kids, or was that just me??
The plan is to attempt to open the office tomorrow so I have been out digging to enable some sort of escape route in the morning. Louise made it to work today (I can’t believe they didn’t just close the hospital!!!) but had a slight prang as she left the car park. It is tricky to assess the damage in the dark, but it looks like cosmetic scratching which either a quick rub with an oily rag or some TCut will solve. It shouldn’t take her long.
As I type Rebecca is on the front lawn with a friend building a snowman. Knowing her attention span I am not too hopeful for having it featured on the local news tomorrow. Emily (who didn’t surface from her pit until post lunch) is as usual glued to her laptop, whilst texting at the same time (I am so proud), using Facebook to co-ordinate her life as ever.
So, with my extended time at home seemingly done (unless I just can’t get in tomorrow…I promise I will try) reality beckons.
Typially at this tme of year, thoughts turn to holidays and the long debate about where to go (yeh right!). However, this year is different. That’s right, we are totally skint, and the chances of affording anything other than a postcard are remote. Still, there are many weeks of lottery draws to go before summer so my chances are good right??
Pardon my lack of activity recently. The festivities have been a fairly busy time, despite being off work since the 19th!!
Since xmas day I’m afraid most of my time has been absorbed by….
Sweet Addiction
However I jump ahead of myself. Let us return to the pre xmas madness of the 23rd of December. Despite having literally twelve months to prepare, we found ourselves needing to buy stuff. So for reasons I cannot now explain we headed into Manchester. This act of insanity wasn’t actually that bad to be honest, apart from the ludicrous parking fees, massive crowds, freezing cold weather and aching feet.
Wheely nice
Having lunched at Pizza Hut, wandered endless shops, darkness had fallen by the time we left. We still hadn’t got all we needed!!
One thing I did encounter was the abounding panic that comes over everyone as the hours count down to the big day. No matter how much we had told ourselves that this year would be suitably frugal to reflect the crunchiness of the times, those last 48 hours induce a “Supermarket Sweep” style fever which means you dash around buying all sorts of stuff you hadn’t planned to. This for us, ranged from extra (expensive) presents for the girls, to all sorts of culinary delights that will no doubt still be in the cupboard next July.
It seems it is futile to resist these urges, and I fell under its spell as did everyone else I shopped alongside. The shops are really only closed for 24 hours, however, the stockpile fever still kicks in as if we are hunkering down for the entire winter.
To be fair I think the panic is mainly driven by the fear of being without something vital, like say Olives on the big day, and therefore all your efforts being worth naught due to this heinous oversight. This is silly….everyone knows the local mini mart at the petrol station is open 24 hours a day all through xmas, and what they don’t stock isn’t worth having!!!
Christmas Eve was a quiet affair at my brother’s house, and we were home and in bed by 11pm!! I think I had all of two beers, but I am not a big drinker to be honest.
So after setting the alarm for 3am, so that Louise could “supervise” Santa dropping off the presents, we both returned to bed around 4am. Having kids of a more sleepy age meant that we avoided the old days of being awoken pre 5am, and it was a very civilised 8.30am before Rebecca appeared, rejecting all of her pre teen coolness, and instead being an excited kid all over again.
No dolls and big plastic toys these days. It is clothes and major gadgets all round, which makes the piles of pressies smaller, which in turn makes Louise paranoid that the kids will be dissappointed!! They weren’t. They got what they wanted, and few things they didn’t know they wanted as usual.
Henry helping Rebecca open presents
Henry was his usual helpful self, and so he wasn’t left out we bought him a little something which I think he liked!!
Merry Xmas Henry
I think he likes it
The thing you need to know about xmas day though is that I discovered a new life skill. I discovered that I make the best Eggs Benedict on the planet. Having had this dish a few times on our Florida jaunts, (Vero Beach had the best!), I thought I’d give it a go. We had my parents over for xmas breakfast so I had six to prepare. My masterful timing and culinary ability shone through, and being immodest for a second, they were superb. So much so that Louise made me make them again on Boxing Day morning!!
The rest of the big day was spent at home, with just Louise’s Mum joining us for “the meal” which Louise made almost single handedly, and it was, again, superb. The evening was spent, as tradition dictates, in front of the telly nursing a full belly. We watched the National Lampoon’s Christmas film with Chevy Chase. I’ve seen it dozens of times, but laugh every time still.
Boxing Day was at our house, but to be fair was only a small family gathering consisting of my Mum & Dad and my brother and his family (Paula, Sarah, Jack and George). I was on food duty today, and it was a festive buffet affair, supplemented by pasties. For those from London or overseas, this might help. We don’t do the Cornish ones, but you’ll get the idea…meat and potatoes in pastry!!
Since Boxing Day, to be honest we’ve pretty much done nothing. I have of course taken part in one of the great xmas traditions, the rubbish tip run. Here, men of all ages gather just after xmas, black bags in boots (trunks for the Yanks), disposing of what looks like seven weeks rubbish, created in just two short festive days.
I have been to the gym a couple of times too, as my body’s frankly quite stunning ablity to absorb fat has been in overdrive, and I appeared to have gained four pounds in two days!! I am back to almost pre xmas weight now, and I am trying not to gorge myself on all that stuff we panic bought that sits in cupboards screaming my name…..roasted peanuts, I’m talking about you!!!
Emily is in there somewhere
Why am I showing Emily’s xmas morning photo here, much later than Rebecca? Well, this is how it happened. Despite threats of actual violence she could not be roused so we three went downstairs and we started without her!! She arrived half an hour later, demonstrating once again that she doesn’t do mornings.
She opened presents in a zombie like state, and it wasn’t until much later that she found her stride. One of her gifts was Lips for the Xbox…bascially DIY Karaoke. Once they discovered they could upload songs from their iPods we had two full days of angst ridden teen Emo songs, with our two adding their dulcit tones over the top. I love my girls, I really do, but it had to be stopped for my sanity.
Lip Action
Having a little time on my hands I have finally made a DVD from our Florida holiday video from….2001. Yes I know….but better late than never. It was lovely to see it again, and the girls look like totally different beings!! If technology allows I shall upload it so you can take a look. I will be working through the other year’s videos as time allows too!
So now I sit in Chrimbo Limbo, that period of nothingness between xmas and New Year, with another day almost slipped away in a blur of doing not a lot, with no real plans for New Years Eve either. Party people we ain’t it seems.
We shall perhaps go for a meal somewhere, but no doubt be tucked up in bed well before the early hours show up.
Well, writing all this down has worn me out. After so long away from work I am not used to all this brain activity. This picture sort of sums it up I think.
I haven’t seen snow like this since….oooh, two days ago. For years we have been relegated to watching the snow sufferings of others on the news, a sort of vicarious viewing of gridlocks and closed schools, however we are now in snow central.
The girls are gutted as they are off school anyway, so this snow is sort of wasted. Until today we have been able to get around pretty much OK, but I had a list of errands as long as my long thing this morning, and only managed to get one done (my haircut, which to be fair doesn’t take too long) before realising that the conditions were getting serious, and I headed for home.
We live at the top of a hill, which is great as a flood defence, but tends to be an issue when the white stuff hits. So after a few failed attempts at the hill, a fellow struggler helped me salt the road, and push the car up the hill, and I returned the favour. We have never spoken before, so the spirit of the Blitz reappears. Who said global warming was a bad thing?
I would like to pass on my thanks and appreciation to my boring Ford Mondeo for its handling of the dreadful road conditions. I did enjoy sailing past the Merc drivers as they slid and spun trying to make progress. Being not quite as succesfull as others sometimes has its merits.
The New Ford Reindeer
So being snow bound now, myself and the kids have hunkered down for the day. My failed errands sneer at me from the back of my mind. The gym, the rubbish tip and food shopping shall have to wait for clearer roads I’m afraid.
We are watching Bandslam on DVD now. Well, technically I am half watching it as I’m typing at the same time. Louise is at work and it is a serious concern that she may not be able to get home. The snow hasn’t stopped all morning, and the roads are going to be horrific for her journey home. As he works in a hospital, they can’t exactly close early and send everyone home, particularly as she is attending an operation today!!
At least there should be a bed for the night if she needs it, I’m guessing the hospital has a couple of thousand!
Having missed the gym today I shall have to restrict my calorie intake to single digit (thousands) I think. A test of will power if ever there was one. I can hear all the xmas goodies screaming my name from the kitchen cupboards.
Oh look, it approaches midday, and that means I am allowed to have lunch. Eating lunch prior to 12.00pm is a big no-no, and I see it as abject failure. At 12.01, all is good.
I hope the snow abates tomorrow as I have promised the family a sumptious breakfast on Christmas Day of Eggs Benedict. Having never made this before that should be interesting….particularly if I don’t have things like eggs. So a journey to the market which us super is required, or it is stale bread and cereal all round.
However, I have now finished work for the festive period!! It was timed perfectly that on my last day in the office I was visited by the snot fairy, and I have a full blown case of man flu (which I guess is different to a half blown case…isn’t our language funny sometimes?).
I won’t talk you through my working week as once again I was down south, a fully fledged member of the death squad for our Surbiton office, with Wednesday being a full day of shifting crap from the office and then on Thursday, more meetings with the poor sods now looking for work.
I see that after saying I wouldn’t talk you through it I seem to be doing exactly that now….anyway, the journey home started in a full blown (there I go again) blizzard, and ending about seven hours later with a full blown sense of humour failure.
Whilst I was away Emily & Rebecca went to see Paramore (supported by Youmeatsix) at the MEN. They loved it just a lot. I like Paramore too, mainly as I am an utterly cool Dad.
Paramore all dressed up
So on my return to the frozen North, I popped into the house for all of ten minutes before setting off out again in the snow to attend a team xmas meal, at a lovely curry house in Whitefield. The Forts of India was very good, and I could just eat my Saag Chicken all over again right now.
Saag Chicken please....
So despite feeling the onset of my gruesome illness I had a nice night with good company and tremendous food. I do find it odd that the chaps who work for me forget I am sort of a normal person, and it does take a little while for them to relax when out of the office. I am only the boss as I have a mortgage to pay…not through choice!!
However, after the two days I had down south, as soon as the last forkful was consumed, the cash was left with the guys and I was off to bed.
A frustrating drive home, as it had been on the way there, as three flakes of snow means that everyone drives as if we lived in the frozen wastes of Alaska.
Friday started badly, with the man flu having me in it’s full grip by now. I struggled out of bed, and through the snow, arriving at work around 10am. It was OK though, I was forgiven by my team as I had brought them last day chocolates!!
I sort of limped through Friday to be honest, and was very glad to put work behind me around 5pm. After a very busy last few weeks, the official finish for xmas sort of snuck up on me, and there wasn’t the usual feeling of it being an event.
I do not darken work’s door again until Jan the 4th, so you have been warned, I may post more often, and the content may get a little repetitive!! It has not escaped my notice that my illness has arrived just in time to eat into my holiday, rather than preventing me from working.
Right now I am sat on the couch in a house resembling a sauna, as I can’t bring myself to turn the heating off. I have around twelve layers on, and Enchanted on the telly. The house is peaceful as Louise is out with Emily and Ben (boyfriend of Emily) at her drum lesson.
The first boyfriend!
On the subject of Ben/boyfriends, I am a little put out that I actually like him. I had always hoped to make any boyfriend’s life an outright misery, with over bearing/oppressive/embarassing behaviour.
Instead, I find myself encouraging Emily to see more of him, be nice to him, and not to be moody!!!
Rebecca is out at a friend’s house, after a sleep over last night, so I type away, the dog snoring at my feet, hoping Louise brings back something good to eat. I have to feed a cold…it is the law!!
We are forecast lots of snow tonight, and yep, right on cue it has started. So once the family are back we shall barricade the front door, crank the heating up to eleven, and find something unchallenging to watch on the telly.
Drat, the extraction of snot from the nasal area is becoming a pressing requirement so I shall sign off…..till the next time.
I have wrestled with my conscience since waking this morning, and have come to the conclusion that not going to the gym today would be the better option. I feel absolutely knackered, not helped by my lovely daughter and her friend talking and giggling until almost 2am this morning. They were one giggle from me walking into their room, in naught but my underwear to tell them off. However, giggling in the dark is no real reason to inflict that level of mental scarring onto two young girls.
Once they finally went to sleep, the rest of us could follow, only to be woken up by them at 8am, with more of the same giggling and talking in whispered tones that could be heard next door. So I was up earlyish.
With a very busy last week at work looming, I know I will have little chance to visit the gym at lunch, as is my usual routine, so I really should go today. But to be honest the “can’t be arsed” factor has been victorious for once.
With Liverpool on the telly later, and Louise out shopping with her Mum, (she must be insane to do this through choice….the shopping bit I mean, not going out with her Mum!!), I have decided to have a day full of nothing.
We watched the X Factor last night, and I always do so with mixed emotions. Ever since I read Chart Idol by Ben Elton, my already cynical view of these shows, has moved to one of complete disdain.
Only read this if you want to ruin X Factor forever
I have enjoyed every Ben Elton book I have ever read, and he has a great knack of taking a current media phenom…phenomme…funom…craze, analysing it, and showing it for what it really is. A clever guy indeed.
So to last night’s show. I always seem to be out of step with public opinion, and through the years very few of the ones I think deserve it have won, all the way back to the classic Young vs Gates Pop Idol show. This year seems no different, as I am quite bewildered by the adulation of Olly. He is a half decent singer, who would make a good living in pubs and clubs, but a pop star he ain’t. I think the gulf in class showed last night, as he looked like an average karaoke version of Robbie.
As for the Buble, the man is incredible. I have an affinity for him, as there are so many similarities between him and I. Good looking, great singer, suave, charasmatic and from Bolton. Ok, I made the last one up.
George Michael has, in my eyes, long held the legend status, and he oozes class (not Class B drugs, although…), every time I see him.
So my mixed emotions are based on the following
1. I get frustrated that the wrong person usually wins (Leona and Alexander apart)
2. Simon Cowell keeps getting richer from it
3. I have some small sense of wishing I had made more of my brief daliance with pop stardom, which to be fair, peaked with an appearance on Key 103 in the early 90s, but still, it was my dream, and it was only a lack of drive, hair, dietary control and a big chunk of luck that thwarted my ambitions.
4. I also feel like I should rebel against the force feeding of this dumbed down TV fodder that we are being brain washed into accepting as the highlight of our week. There is a line in a Del Amitri song about people sleeping like doped white mice in a college lab, and I think we resemble this concept more and more. Keep the masses obsessed with this tat and they won’t think about anything else.
Anyway, that’s a bit deep for a Sunday morning.
I have housework to do now it seems, before the arrival of Emily’s boyfriend. He is a recent addition to our lives, and Emily’s first boyfriend. I always thought I would be the typical grouchy over bearing Dad, but to be honest, I find myself really liking him. Best laid plans and all that.
However, my experience of that town this week wasn’t too good to be honest.
We have had a satellite office there for a few years, and I won’t bore anyone with the back story, but this week I was part of the management team that had to go and close it down. Nice!!
So at 10am on Tuesday we arrived at site looking like a cross between Resevoir Dogs and the Keystone Cops, and broke the news to the poor souls who would be affected. Yep, I’ve had better days.
We then spent the next couple of days meeting with the chaps from that office, explaining what we could do to help etc, and of course starting to dismantle the office. A heartbreaking job.
This two day fun parade meant staying over nearby, and this was at the Monkey Puzzle. A Beefeater. You can see that budget is obviously a concern in these trying times. To be fair, it was fine, and the meals were perfectly acceptable. The company on this mission was a real mix, and spending time with a range of colleagues, most for the first time, threw up a few challenges.
There is indeed “nowt stranger than folk”, but still we got through, and the worst of it is over. We are back down there next week to meet with the guys again, and continue the dismantle and emptying operation. It will be a lovely way to end before xmas!!
TFT anyone?
After two stressful, tiring and weird days we headed back up north, myself in a Ford Puma. Never before, and probably never again, although I was grateful for the lift!! Back to the office on Thursday to be straight into a round of “can you impress these visitors from head office please”. I was asked to take them through what I did, and make it “really slick”.
So, I sat in front of the TV, ate my own body weight in junk food, blew off a few times, and played on my xbox. Job done. Turns out they meant what I do at work, rather than in my spare time. I think I recovered the situation to their satisfaction.
So here we are at Friday again, and I left work early today so the girls might remember what I look like, before I have to drop them off in town to go and watch the local production of Oliver with their guide group.
Louise is also out tonight, at her xmas do. Now that could get messy, and it may well be a good thing that she is staying over at the hotel. Luckily she works in a hospital, so she will have all the medical help she might need once she has downed four bottles of wine, seven brandies and two pork pies. Is there a doctor in the house? Yes, and about seventy nurses too.
So what should I do with myself tonight? Well, I could do that yes, but frankly I will probably get myself something stupidly calorific to eat and play the xbox for a bit. I also have a couple of DVDs just arrived, from my friends at the Tesco DVD club, so The Hangover, looks tempting.
Tonight's viewing
I think I could handle Vegas.
The weekend ahead is set to be one of the biggest shopping weekends of the year. Thankfully, one of the benefits of being skint is that we don’t have to partake in that too much. We are pretty much sorted present wise, and have a plan that involves online buying for the ones we haven’t yet got, so that is a relief.
I finish work for two weeks next weekend, so I am looking forward to that. A break full of films, chocolate and rest beckons. I’ve spotted quite a few films I would like to see at the cinema, so they had better restock that Pick n Mix bar before I get there.
So there it is, a crap week, in terms of what had to be done at work, and my best wishes go to all the guys on the receiving end of that particular decision. Same again next week really, but with less of the SAS style raid on the office, and more removal man/counsellor required on this visit.
Oh, and by the way, how utterly shite is the M25…..but let’s not go there, I’ve waffled on enough for one post.
Not sure what a blog is supposed to be or do, so you are getting random drivvle at the moment. Till the next time…..
Sunday saw us attempt a “family day out”. We don’t do enough of them, so it was a good idea. By the end of the day, no strike that, by about 11am on the day we realised why.
The reason why is that this country is absolutely hopeless at days out.
We had got ourselves tickets for the Good Food Show in Birmingham, so had endured the pain of ripping both girls from their beds pre 7am on a Sunday morning. A risky business. We hit road around 8.30, and then the M6 happened.
The M6 between Warrington and Birmingham seems to be a constant stream of 50mph zones, interrupted by a couple of miles of national speed limit zones. Incredibly frustrating.
As we neared the NEC I thought we’d arrive at a reasonable time. However from five miles out the queues started, first on the motorway, and then for about another hour through the endless maze of NEC car parks. It was utterly ridiculous. Why is it that in the UK any event which attracts more than ten cars results in a three hour queue?
I remember the tales of those leaving the big Knebworth gigs, and having to sleep in their cars.
It would be predictable of me to start asking why it is that Disney can take, and then release hundreds of thousands of visitors, every day, without so much as a hiccup. However, why is it that Disney can take, and then release hundreds of thousands of visitors, every day, without so much as a hiccup?????
The girls pass the time in the queues.
So we eventually get there, paid the ludicrous £8 car park fee to leave the Mondeo in a muddy field three miles from the actual event, and made the best of it.
We got ourselves a £25 lunch, (three jacket spuds and a sandwich) and then wandered the stalls, scooping some nice free samples of Carte Dor and various alcohols.
There was a distinct lack of freebies to be honest, based on my assumptions that we would be wandering around stuffing belgian chocolates and all sorts of edible frippery down on our necks all day.
On our wanders we did stumble across a few celebs though. Well, it was Andi Peters and the two blokes off of Master Chef, but celebs nontheless. Louise spent about ten minutes cooing over how “ripped” Mr Peters was. Pardon the photo quality, I only had the phone with me.
It is Andi Peters....honest!
So we lasted around three hours, and the kids got bored and tired, so we headed for home around 3.35, a little dissapointed with the whole affair really. We had sort of boycotted UK theme parks after ten years of Florida, and this day sort of reaffirmed my Meldrewesque assumption that a day out over here is over priced, badly organised and logistically poor.
We arrived home on Sunday evening tired, a bit poorer, and as ever a little wiser.
Then the week (so far…it is only Wednesday!!) got a whole lot worse as our central heating died…just as we entered December, so instead of having Christmas, we are keeping warm. Our plumber is in for a bumper festive period though. A ludicurous sum of money!!
I haven’t mentioned work yet. It is probably best that I don’t to be honest. My boss left the business this week, under a bit of a cloud. This wasn’t a bad thing really as his specialist subject was making my life a misery. However, same shit different boss will no doubt apply from here on in. Work is crazily busy, which made it very easy of course to co-ordinate plumbers, bank balances and domestic disasters…NOT!
An eventful week then so far. I hope the girls enjoy their satsuma and cashew nuts on xmas morning.
Then, just as I am feeling at my most Meldrew, Louise calls me at work to tell me that she had just heard that our next door neighbour had just passed away!! This is truly tragic, as she was only 45, and has two kids about the same age as mine. She has been suffering with cancer for the past few years, and we have literally seen her wither away and die before our eyes.
As Louise was rightly quick to remind me, our neighbour would love to have the problem of a new boiler to contend with, no matter how large her credit card bill would be as a result. My heart goes out to her husband and especially her two kids. It breaks my heart to think about what they have already been through, and will have to contend with in the future.
Sobering times, and I promise to moan less….a bit.
It would have been very hard to predict how this week was to pan out. Monday saw me bedazzle several persons of some import, with details of what it is I have been up to for the past nine and a bit years. Tres satisfying I must say.
After what has been almost a year of derision, doubt and another word beginning with d, some folk have had to quickly back track.
Then, later in the week, along with a colleague, I seem to have influenced more persons of import to make a decision that should see work be a whole lot easier in the long run. It is tricky being so cryptic here, but it wouldn’t take too much for someone to stumble across these ramblings and connect the dots.
I made it to the gym three times this week, which is the best for a while, with all my jaunts out of the office. I am to be away away again in a week or so at one of our Southern locations as a project needs “executing”. More of that after the event.
It really is a travesty that they ony delivered two albums (of absolute class, originality, melody and the finest harmonies known to man) before disbanding.
Please check them out.
Then, this evening I have sinned by starting xmas shopping before the month of December commences. Things have changed since the girls were younger, as xmas day mornings used to consist of four hours of trying to free the latest doll from the truly ludicrous packaging. These days, it is electronics, clothes and cash.
The weekend beckons, and this sees us at the mobile shop trying to get the girls onto a mobile tariff that will accomodate their text addiction without breaking the bank. Then on Sunday, we are off to the Good Food Show at the NEC, so the challenge will be getting the girls out of bed early enough.
It truly was a Planes, Trains and Automobiles journey, minus the planes, as my company are too tight to do that. However, it was car to Preston, train to Euston, and then what seemed like endless tubes to Southwark. But wait, did I not say the event was by the Thames? Yes, I did. So why the did I go to Southwark?
Simples! It saved about £20 a night on the hotel. The tube fares and shoe leather cost about £40, but hey ho!! The Travelodge at Southwark was a total hole, and was barely one up from a hostel.
Anyway, enough moaning. The event itself was pretty good though, with some great seminars from the likes of LEGO, ING Direct, Starbucks and a new company called Magiq, who consist of some folks I’ve worked with for a while, so I wish them well. I took some inspriation and ideas away with me, before realising that I’ll have to work somewhere else before I can implement them. Work is woeful, with what seems to be a very slow limp to the finish line. We need putting out of our misery. Still, with luck I won’t have to stick around to see it finally take the bullet.
So this week I learnt that my company’s accomodation policy is pitiful, some companies other than mine actually believe that online is worthwhile, and that Starbucks have over half a million friends on Facebook. One day they will have more than my daughters!!
So after surviving the city I’ve had two very hectic days back in the office, but found time to catch up with my ex boss over a coffee. It was great to catch up, and to get some sanity from outside the walls of the asylum.
The weekend arrives, and I have things I need to get done, the most important of which is a haircut as I am resembling a cross between Bob Greaves and Liberace. Not a great look. Then I need to take Emily (eldest) to the O2 shop to investigate a tariff that is affordable, and can sustain her 40,000 texts per month lifestyle.
As Forrester predicted, the next ten years is all about the growth of the mobile channel in the multi channel experience….and that is just from my daughters!
Work gets more manic by the day, and I have to be honest that this constant fire fighting and lurching from one disaster to another is getting a tad tedious. We haven’t had anything as boring as business as usual for years.
Not to worry, I have two days off now, but am preparing for an important day tomorrow, with a couple of opportunities I cannot divulge full details of here. I shall when the time is right of course dear reader.
As I career (see what I did there) at full speed into my mid life crisis, I have a feeling that it is time to stop playing things safe, and take a risk or two. I fear these opportunities will come to nought, and I shall once again be cast into a pit of firey depression and self loathing, cursing my ineptitude, incompetence and all round lack of va va voom.
So a short post today as I must retire to my pit in the hope that a rested brain will stand me in good stead tomorrow, and my form shall be that of the top variety. A change is required, and I hope I can deliver, as the frustrations of day to day work are growing. Nine years in, that is no surprise.
I wonder if others have the feeling of “being found out”? I am of the mind that those who succeed are those who can hide that the best. Nine tenths of a bullshit facade and one tenth real ability. Hmm, time to relieve the shoulder of the chip, best foot forward, and show some self belief fat boy.
Onwards, upwards, and I shall report back when it is appropriate.
Years ago, when I was young, my Mum used to always say..
“Its Friday again…these weeks are just flying by”
They never used to seem that way to me, but the older I get, the quicker the weeks fly by. This week has shot by more than most, as I spent almost two days out and about, down in Stroud to be exact.
I used to get out and about with work all the time, but with increasing responsibility, and having developed a hatred for traffic jams in a previous job which involved around 40,000 miles a year, in recent years I haven’t so much.
Anyway, I enjoyed my little trip, apart from the journey down, which should, according to the sat nav, have taken just under three hours, and ended up taking nearer to six.
I stayed over in a lovely place called The Ragged Cot. Great value too in terms of the room (£65).
My room.
So I spent Tuesday evening there, having a lovely dinner with my favourite supplier. I had Olives and Bread to start, followed by a lovely steak with a stilton sauce. It was well done in all ways.
Wednesday saw a meeting with the development team at Merus Software who are a really great team, and are close enough to being rocket scientists to make me look good!! I forgot to say that Wednesday started with a full English, despite still being full from the night before.
After what then turned into a large lunch, I waddled to the car around 3pm, and battled my way up my favourite motorway, the M5, to then battle a lot harder to get up the M6, my least favourite by some distance.
It was dark, pouring down, and busy. So after three hours staring at a set of brake lights I got in around 7pm. I declined any tea!! Too full.
The rest of the week was pay back for daring to leave the office, with a very busy Thursday (see last post) and an equally manic Friday. So here we are, Friday evening, sat, laptop on my…well, lap, watching the girls flick through music channels. Adam Lambert’s new single is on right now. An incredible voice indeed.
So what have we learned this week?
Spend more time out of the office, be ready to pay the price for doing so, I need to go the gym a few more times to work off my excessive dinner, breakfast and lunch and writing a blog like this is probably only of interest to me!!
Oh yes, and to top of my hectic week, a friend and colleague (who won’t be either if he does it again) phoned me from West Palm Beach, to let me know how his holiday is going, under the pretence that he was making sure we were coping without him. Thanks, I enjoyed that Steve.
No big intro or back story. Can’t really be bothered to be honest. You’ll get to know me as we go along. This might help.
A very busy and stressful day at work today, consisting of two interviews, (one of my least favourite activities) a couple of meetings, a one to one with one of my managers and about thirty thousand interruptions at my desk whilst desperately trying to clear the backlog caused by daring to have a day out of the office yesterday. Wow, that was a long sentence!!
Despite having done what I do for more or less nine years now, I’ve been trying to educate myself a little recently on the vast, complex and mystical world of digital marketing, social media etc.
Being a recent iPhone convert (well, I got one from work), I have been dipping my toe into the waters of podcasts. Some for pleasure, like Stephen Fry, Dave Gorman and Ricky Gervais, but others about work stuff. I have to say I have learnt some things that have actually been of use in my day to day job. When I use these nuggets at work, my guys, who thought I was just some sort of “jack of all trades” charlatan, give me a worried look, realising that I might actually know something about what I employ them to do all day.
Seems to me that all these experts in the dark arts of online marketing are called Kelvin or Niall, and wear posh open neck shirts, with cufflinks the size of golf balls, and only drink £7.50 coffees from Starbucks. 99% image and 1% knowledge in most cases, but have a £950 day rate.
Actually I must apologise to a real Kelvin, who does know his stuff, and appears on one of these here podcasts from AI-Digital. I’ve found their podcasts the most informative, even though Kelvin tends to say “as it were” about every six seconds. 🙂
Work is weird at the moment, but really has been that way for the past four years, and it feels like we’ve been in a state of constant upheaval for all that time. We have a new MD this week, but he is only interim (but so were the last two), so we’re all charging round trying to press palms and make a good first impression.
It seems like a groundhog day loop of getting to know, impress and educate a new guy every year or so. Stability, where art thou??
I’m too tired for insightful prose tonight. Not a great night to start your blog then is it? Anyway, Phil and Kirsty are on the telly, the girls are at guides (and need picking up in thirty minutes), and my eyelids are like lead. Early night I think, with tomorrow being a little less manic than today.
Now, if I can work out how to publish this thing…….
It really is a travesty that they ony delivered two albums (of absolute class, originality, melody and the finest harmonies known to man) before disbanding.
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