Going Limp…now with added hardness!

I just wanted to do a quick post to let you know that the latest trippy, Mkingdon’s Going Limp in Orlando Tour 2013, is now available in hard copy, as an actual, real life book.

Now, before you all rush off and buy a dozen copies each, I need to add some caveats. I didn’t get this done in hard copy to sell really. Instead, there were two main reasons,

  1. I wanted to test out getting a book printed like this, as I plan to do it with “the book” when it is done.
  2. I thought it would be nice to give Emily a physical copy so she would always have it to remember her 18th birthday trip

So, those caveats….

  • It is quite expensive, perhaps not surprisingly. It is being sold at the absolute minimum allowed by the supplier…I promise….I don’t need another yacht!
  • The pictures in it are in black and white and the quality of them is average at best
  • You probably own it on Kindle already.

Anyway, when I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I was trying out getting a physical book done, a few folks asked me to let them know when it was done. So I am!

If you want to have a look…..click the picture below…

This time, it is hard.

This time, it is hard.

As time allows, I will try to do the other trippy book in the same way.

That is all.

Till the next time…..

Shiny Shaved Holes

I lied to you all last week.

We did not, as stated go and watch the Wolf of Wall Street as I said. The second after I clicked Publish on that post, Louise appeared to say she didn’t feel up to going after all. I didn’t mind, and after a minor dirty protest in the kitchen I settled down for a night in.

We did however go the following evening. Yes, we went out on a school night, that is just how CRAZY we are. It almost turned into Tuesday morning as the film is a long one. If you plan to watch it, a pre-film tactical wee is essential, or if not, a catheter. There are perks to being married to a student nurse!

The film itself was great. I would say that it fully deserves its 18 certificate, especially when you are watching it sat next to your 18-year-old daughter.  Leo DiCaprio (I call him Leo now, as we’ve spent so much time together) was superb, as was Jonah Hill. I think there were quite a few naked women in it too, but I didn’t notice any of them at all.

Apparently she was in the film!!

That was pretty much the highlight of the week, as the rest of it was work and wrestling shite from my dog’s backside. Yep, you read that right. Tuesday night into Wednesday morning was joyous. Somehow, Oli had got some poo stuck around his exit area just before we went to bed on Tuesday, and so I found myself in my kitchen in the early hours wiping, scraping and retching, as I helped the poor bugger out.

All I will say is that he now has a very clean, shiny and shaved hole. Which again, beings me back to the women in the film we watched earlier in the week. But I digress….

Oli seems to be unscarred by the events of that night, although we can’t look each other in the eye any more.

So having lost a lot of sleep, I never really caught that up again during the week and found myself limping through Thursday and Friday like some sort of zombie who has to answer lots of emails and go to meetings.

All of this led to a very rare event this morning when I had an actual lie in. Granted, I was up at 4.30am, to let Oli out for a wee, but once back under the duvet I didn’t open my eyes again until 11am. What is strange is that I have felt absolutely awful all day seemingly as a result. My body is so unused to good levels of sleep that it is struggling to come to terms with it. I have no energy, and I appear to be craving junk food. Oh no wait, that is absolutely normal.

With admirable discipline, and not without quality, Emily has been very diligent in keeping up her blog posts. Yesterday’s was very good indeed, and if you like Disney stuff, she will introduce you to some of the wonderful Disney content that exists online away from the official website. Her latest post outlines her….

Top 10 Disney YouTube Videos.

It is a good way to easily lose a few hours.

She’s been on the part-time job hunt this week, going for a trial for one, and dropping off applications for another, so wish her well, read her blog, or give her a job, as you feel is appropriate.

Time to go, these chocolate digestives won’t eat themselves.

Till the next time…..

 

 

Wolves, Wall Street and Wanging On.

An earlier blog this week as once again we are going to give Cineworld half of my monthly salary this evening to watch a film. The Wolf of Wall Street is the choice for us, well, actually it is my choice as Louise wanted to watch Twelve Years a Slave. I’m sure it is a great film, but the Wall Street one just appeals to me more. It feels like it will be less hard work to watch it.

Ugly Leo

Louise quite rightly deferred to my preference, as she should only being a woman of course. Based on our usual restaurant experience where I always order the better option, she will thank me later. Emily is pleased anyway as Leonardo DiCaprio is in it, and he is only second in her eyes to Harry Styles.

I am determined to resist the lure of both the pick and the mix, as the waistline just will not take it. Besides, we have about four selection boxes left over from Christmas that need finishing off, so I’ll take them instead.

I had my first feedback on the book this week, and it was great. I don’t mean that the feedback said everything was great, as at this stage it clearly isn’t, but it was great for me and very constructive. Just from that one lot of feedback the book has come on leaps and bounds and is much better for it. I continue to polish whilst awaiting the conclusions of the other volunteers. I look forward to the rest, as it can only help and improve it further.

I’ve been doing some research into other places to make the book available, mainly in actual print, and I may have come across a solution for that. If that is the case, I may do the same for the two trippie books too, so should anyone be foolish enough to want a hard copy of them then they can. These things are not cheap however, but even if it means I can get a physical copy of the two Florida books, and one of this new novel they will be lovely keepsakes. The service I have found looks like a print to order service, so at least I don’t have to order a box load that will sit in a cupboard for ten years until they get pulped Alan Partridge style.

Dan!

The fear of missing a typo is multiplied by around a thousand at the thought of committing something to actual print though. No matter how much checking goes on, I just know on the first glance at a hard copy in print I shall spot a multitude of cock ups. That isn’t a hint at the actual content of the book by the way. It is a phallus free zone.

On that note, for those still interested in this book after me wanging on about it for what seems like forever, I feel I should say that it would be wrong to set the expectation that it is similar to the trip reports. There is (hopefully) humour in it, but those expecting the usual ratio of a knob gag every other paragraph will be disappointed I’m afraid. I haven’t made a conscious effort to make it different or all grown up, it is just the way it came out, so I hope that those kind enough to read it do not feel let down by that.

If I get the feedback returned in the next couple of weeks as expected then I would hope to get the thing completed and released quite quickly after that. I could sit looking at it for years, making minor adjustments but that seems silly and unnecessary. If nothing else it will stop me prattling on about it here every week which I think we can all agree will be a good thing.

Apparently I have to make the tea now as Louise has done the ironing or some such other trivial task. I shall make my specialty, namely whatever looks easiest to make in the fridge.  It will be delicious I’m sure.

Till the next time….

Jolly January and Unscratchable Itches

Having asked for a volunteer or two last week to wade through the untidy mess of the first draft I got many, many more offers than I had anticipated. I should know better than to underestimate the kindness and support of you all, but I did.

The downside of that was that I felt like an absolute arse having to only select a few folks. It felt like I was throwing people’s kindness back in their face, so if you did volunteer, thank you and I am just sorry that I couldn’t let you all read the thing. I just couldn’t process that amount of feedback.

In hindsight I probably went a little early, which wouldn’t be the first time, as when I started to review that draft it was indeed messy, and I have spent a lot of time this week fixing stuff. Apologies to the volunteers for that, had I waited a week your job may have been easier and quicker.

I haven’t had any feedback yet, and as I am far too close to the thing to be anything like objective I still have no idea if it is woeful or not. Louise asked me the other week if I was happy with it, and I honestly could not give her an answer. I definitely need some third-party perspective just to do basic things like tell me if the story works and holds any interest for the reader at all. If the thing is never mentioned again you’ll know which way the feedback went!

My fear and loathing of the return to work last week did of course not live up to the actual experience, but it was still an awful shock to the system. I am told there has recently been a weekend too, but I refuse to believe that as I haven’t noticed one.

Last week, I also told you about Emily’s blog and she was delighted that so many of you have been to have a read. Having read her second post yesterday, I have to say that if she keeps writing them like that I shall stop promoting the thing as I may not get my readers back!

Her latest post is lovely, and covers the sad passing of a Disney institution. If you haven’t read it I suggest you do.

If my return to work was preceded by histrionics and over dramatic whingeing caused by a long time off work, then imagine how Louise is feeling tonight. She has been off now for about five weeks, although she has had course work to do, but tomorrow she returns to a placement in Preston. We did a dummy run today of the commute and it isn’t a nice one. No offence to Preston, but it is a right schlep from our house. Let’s hope the snow stays away! This placement sees her out and about in the community for the first time so if you have a dressing that needs attention in Preston, watch out!

Not that it matters, but this week has seen nearly all of us have a Disney moment or two. Even Louise came over all misty eyed when Emily was playing her new WDW CD, and the house was filled with the melodic beauty that is O Canada. As I tweeted at the time, O Canada should be the National Anthem of the world.

The longing for Disney is a routine occurrence at this time of year, with the post-Christmas lull, diets, return to work and crap weather. Don’t worry, it matters not, as it shall remain an unscratchable itch. We will not be booking anything. Instead I shall buy a sun lamp, put on my shorts and sit listening to that CD for the summer months.

The sad realisation that getting through that first week back at work after Christmas is not enough, and I have to do it again, every week, is it a bit of punch to the guts. It is usually an unaffordable holiday that helps us through that, but this year we shall have to do our best without it. This weekly posting could get ugly in the coming weeks, you have been warned.

As the first in what may be a long line of emotional crutches, allow me to share with you the latest offering from the restaurant that brought us the Donut Burger.

Get in my belly!

Get in my belly!

If these WDW urges continue I fear we shall be recreating that some time soon.

Till the next time…..

All This And More.

After such a long time off work I am feeling a very real sense of bereavement at the ending of my holidays. I can’t describe the magnified Sunday night feeling that I have had since about Friday. It’s horrible. I’ve been a right grump to live with for a couple of days now, but I just can’t shake this horrible feeling of impending doom, early alarms and crap traffic.

I understand that many folks have had no time off at all and I am being ungrateful but it doesn’t change how I feel about it. The upcoming week will be grim. I have a night away too which is not helping me look forward to it in anyway. I have just enjoyed not being at work.

As I often say, I work for a great company, and have many reasons to be grateful to do so, but still it sucks that I am in work again from tomorrow. Enough moaning I think.

In my time off I have been relatively productive, getting my first draft to a stage where it is pretty much ready for feedback and that will be happening soon. I also designed the cover and decided upon the title.

Book Cover

All This And More

If anyone has a burning desire to review the first draft then let me know. I only need a couple of people or there will be too much feedback to deal with. I do need to say that the book is over 73,000 words so it is a fair undertaking to read it, especially as of course there is a chance you might hate it, and then it will be a really hard slog. Also bear in mind that, beyond spotting typos that I have missed, you’ll need to be honest about the thing as a whole too, as telling me it’s great when it isn’t won’t be very helpful. I won’t cry too much! Also I’d ideally like feedback within a couple of weeks, so if you think it would take you a month or so to get through it then please bear that in mind before volunteering.

If I get a few volunteers it’ll be pretty much first come first served unless one of you is a professional editor, English teacher or award winning novelist.

The first draft as it stands should be rubbish. That is what all the writers I have read about online say anyway. A book only starts to come together at second and third draft stage I’m told, so hopefully whatever feedback I get will help in that process. 

My work based sulk prevents me from writing much more today, but I do have to tell you that Emily has started her own blog (as of yesterday). Please go and have a look. I have no clue how often she will post, but if you can show your support that would be great.

Work sucks!

Till the next time….