The Hundred Day Bore

For hardened rock and roll legends like myself, there’s a condition that afflicts us all, especially when you are of a certain vintage. Gigamortis is ravaging my body this morning after a Mustard outing last night at a 30th birthday party in Stockport. I told you I was rock and roll.

As enjoyable as playing is, it comes with a lot of pre and post show effort and of course a late night, so waking up the next morning feeling stiff (and not in a fun way) is an occupational hazard. It feels like I have been run over by a truck. I think it was the third stage dive, or maybe the twelve foot knee slide that may have tipped me over the edge.

On second thoughts it may be that I was sat in the lounge at 1.50am with a cup of tea and three jaffa cakes that destroyed my body. There’s only so much candle burning anyone can take.

Louise is working all weekend again ( I do wonder why these politicians keep going on about moving to a seven day NHS?) so that gives me a great excuse to do very little aside from the daily walking of the dogs. Rebecca, Tom and Freddie are due for Sunday tea later. In my current state the chances of me making a Sunday roast are zero, although I make good one, so a Chinese is on the cards.

You know that food is important to this family, and I suspect most of those coming for tea will be pleased with my decision. On the subject of food, whilst I was out gigging last night, a prior crime caught up with me. Here is a snippet of our family group chat of which I am not proud, but, you leave stuff like that in the fridge for more than a couple of days and there is only one outcome.

Now then, whilst you are here, look, we are at an important milestone….

Is there anything more tedious and tiresome that some idiot telling you how many days it is until their holiday? Suck it up, I’m telling you anyway. The digits will be double tomorrow and this countdown does seem to be progressing nicely. Being busy at work helps with that I guess, and on this week’s to do list was the renewal of my passport.

Much has changed in the ten years since I got my last one. Firstly, it seems a lot easier to do it now. It’s all online and you can supply your own photo. Last time I was up at the local Co-Op pumping pound coins into the photo booth trying not to recreate the Tenacious D video for Tribute (Google it). There were also a load of forms to fill in and post off if I remember rightly. We’ve come a long way baby.

The other thing that has changed is my photo. If you compare the two photos from this week and 2009 all I can say is that they are a fair reflection of the trial and tribulations of the last decade. I won’t be sharing the new one as I have the look of a stroke victim or a very tired middle aged man. Either way, it didn’t enhance my fragile sense of self-confidence.

It takes around three weeks for the new one to arrive and then I’ll have to go online and update all of our ESTAs, as Louise and I both have new passports and we need to put our US accommodation details for this year in. I’m not sure that really matters, but if it saves me a cavity search at Orlando airport it seems a small price to pay.

I have resisted the ADR urge this week. There was a brief moment whilst watching a Tracker video that a dessert party was almost booked (it was the Star Wars one at DHS we were watching, and the food looked tremendous) but a quick google confirmed my suspicions that it wouldn’t be on when we are there as Galaxy’s Edge will have just opened and you’ll need a FastPass just to get into the parking lot.

One thing I am trying to build into this year’s plan is something I’d be open to your suggestions on please. One thing we like to do, Louise especially, of an evening is to head back to the villa for showers, a liberal application of After Sun, and some loose fitting clothes and to head out for a nice meal. You know all that of course, but as an additional bonus, somewhere laid back to have a drinkie or two can be lovely if we can stay awake long enough. As an example, in previous years we have done so on the deck of Bahama Breeze whilst listening to the steel drum man. The Boardwalk can offer a similar experience, Disney Springs has a few places with this on offer and City Walk is a busier place to do this. In the absence of beach side bars, anywhere you know of that ticks these boxes would be interest. I thank you.

I am away now to cosset my gig ravaged body, take some drugs (Ibuprofen) before spending five minutes trying to make it look I’ve tidied up before Louise gets home.

Till the next time…..

Failing, Football and (TGI) Fridays

I am a weak, weak man. I have the backbone of an amoeba and the integrity of a politician. Having committed to something in the sanctity of a blog post, I have reneged, defaulted and failed that promise in spectacular style.

What is this heinous crime?

I booked another ADR.

I know what I said. But honestly, it makes sense, and I should know having spent more time than I should justifying it to myself before doing the deed. Sure, we need to be on a tighter budget on this trip, and on-site dining is expensive but…..but….well, I wanted to.

The justification goes like this.

I have booked it on my birthday, therefore, it qualifies as a treat for me. We will (of course) be in Epcot all day, right though to Reflections of Earth, for the last time ever on one of my birthdays, and that deserves commemorating. We therefore don’t want to be having to leave Epcot to find an off site eatery. That takes two hours plus out of the day, and what finally pushed it over the edge……I loved the pizza at Via Napoli last year and I want to eat it again.

To be exact, everyone loved the pizza at Via Napoli, and that plus its location right in the middle of my traditional World Showcase birthday pilgrimage makes all sorts of sense. So there we go.

To be honest….

Joey Im Not Even Sorry GIF - Joey ImNotEvenSorry Friends GIFs

Other than a needless countdown update (107 days folks), there is little else to report holiday planning wise from this week. On Tuesday we went out celebrate Rebecca’s birthday at a newly opened TGI Fridays. It’s almost American-ness peaked our anticipation for the two weeks of awesome eating we have in store. Freddie in particular is, based on his reaction to every dish’s arrival, which was a “WOW” and eyes like dinner plates, is going to have his mind blown. One year at his age makes such a huge difference in him knowing what is going on of course. At my age, it’s reversed and thankfully not (yet) quite as drastic.

I went full American and had nachos (yes, I know….) and a burger but shamefully I could not manage a dessert. Although, to reassure you all, I did manage a slither of birthday cake instead…..I’m not that much of an amateur. It is safe to say though that in my advancing years my appetite is not what it once was. That’s a good thing, as my ability to gain weight is without rival and if I could eat like I used to in my twenties I would be featured on one of those “My 600lb Life” programmes and need to be winched out of bed every morning.

 

Those of a football disposition may raise an eyebrow at the timing of this celebration. You may know that I am a life-long Liverpool fan, and Tuesday night saw the second leg of the Champions League semi-final against Barcelona. Now, after the first leg, missing the second to celebrate Rebecca’s birthday, which by the way, was never a competition, I like football, but it doesn’t compete with things like one of the girl’s birthdays, wasn’t too hard as the mighty reds were 3-0 down and very unlikely to go through.

Having seen a few Liverpool comebacks over the years I did record the game on the off chance something miraculous happened. I decided to do a “Likely Lads” (ask your Dad) and try not to know the result until I got back home, so that I could watch the game “live”. I didn’t remove my phone from my pocket for the entire meal and briefed everyone else not to breathe a word of any news they may come across.

To cut a long story short, I found myself sat in my front room, past midnight, being a little bit more emotional about a football game than a man of my age should be as the final whistle blew (two hours after it actually did). It does strange things is all I can say. If you get it, you get it, if you don’t, you’ll think I’m an idiot.

That is all I have time for today folks. We are off to meet Rebecca, Tom and Freddie at the local park before I settle in for more Liverpool related nail biting. I am even less hopeful of a miracle today, but it’s the hope that kills you in football.

Till the next time……

Handmaid’s Tales and Grandparent Fails

This is happening a little later than normal as we’ve had a bit of a lazy day. Normally, weekend days are just a series of tasks and chores that need to be done, but today we’ve ignored them so far, and spent our time binge watching stuff.  We are currently knee-deep in The Handmaid’s Tale. We like to be right on the cutting edge of the latest releases! Next, we move on to Bless This House.

There’s a tip run that should have happened as we have our old blinds and a microwave which exploded spectacularly during the week to get rid of, but they sit outside our back door making our house look like Steptoe & Son. It’ll do no harm. I mean, I’ll go tomorrow when it’ll be nice and quiet…..on a Bank Holiday Monday, right?

Speaking of nice and quiet, this week Disney announced that Hollywood Studios will be opening at 6am from the 29th of August for a few days. That’s our first day in Florida, so technically, with the typical first morning wake up in the early AM, we could be there for that. Not a chance. We shall we making our way to the Magic Kingdom which will hopefully have the crowd levels of an Accrington Stanley reserve game. I think that time is only for on-site folks anyway, but regardless, down that path lies a perfect example of how not to enjoy a theme park.

I suspect DHS will be carnage for our entire two weeks, but we will strategically dip in and out to hopefully do stuff and specifically Toy Story Land, hoping that will be quieter than our last trip and we shall retreat gracefully to somewhere else should we encounter the cast of Ghandi.

Our countdown as of this morning sits at 114 days, so two weeks today we shall be gliding gracefully into double digits. Bring it on.

In other news, wedding plans continue to be made. Cake tastings happened this week. That I have to say has been one of my highlights for obvious reason. Less interesting (to me) conversations are ongoing about bridesmaids dresses etc and I think there’s a suit try on looming on the horizon. That’s all fine, but it’s no cake tasting is it?

Louise also had some good news this week. Ages ago, she went through the application process to return to study, this time, to move into midwifery. After weeks and weeks of waiting she heard this week that she had been offered a place. It’s a mighty fine achievement as the competition for places is very tough, so all things being equal, on our return from Orlando she will be back at Uni, at UCLAN, learning how to get babies out of women. I think that’s the correct technical term.

To finish the brief trip through our week just gone, I shall leave you with a masterclass in grand parenting. Yesterday, whilst Rebecca and Tom went to the cake shop to return with the samples I hoovered up, we were looking after Freddie. Louise nipped out to the shops to buy him more stuff we could spoil him with and I was in sole charge. We were playing, and he was doing his usual thing of wandering around the house fiddling with stuff and pressing every button he could find. I was with him of course, and as he made his way to the washing machine I thought I’d get my phone out and take a picture.

Here it is.

The button he was to press one second later actually started the washing machine with a loud whoosh of water. It shocked Freddie so much that he jumped backwards and in complete slapstick style landed bum first into the dog’s full bowl of water.

His little face was a picture of shock and horror as he sat there waist deep in cold water. I whipped him out immediately of course, which was not easy when laughing so much. He was stripped off and wrapped up cozy on the couch watching Paw Patrol by the time Louise got back a few minutes later.

There’s no need to involve social services.

Till the next time…..