So here we go with the final blog before our latest US adventure.
Judging by the glacial pace of last week, I am hopeful our two weeks in the States will feel like about seven, but I suspect not. One more long, long week to navigate at work before the fun begins.
Louise has finished now, and has all of next week to do all my packing. She is having a day off on Tuesday though to take the girls to Alton Towers for a pre-holiday theme park warm up. It’s fine, I’ll just go to work.
This weekend, I have checked and double checked all our documents, confirming for the one hundredth time that our passports are still valid. I have checked our seating on the various flights and even tweaked them on one leg. This is the final fiddling of a man desperate for the holiday to start. There is additional final fiddling that I shall keep secret just for now too.
As I mentioned last week, always at the back of my mind is the worry around the journey. I don’t think (like Louise) that we are nailed on to plummet to a fiery death somewhere over the Atlantic. My fears are more mundane and revolve around us missing a connection and it eating into valuable holiday time. It has happened before, and will no doubt happen again as long as we travel indirect, and that shall be the case until we do not need to fly at peak holiday times where direct flight prices seem to involve you actually buying your seat forever, rather than simply renting for around nine hours each way.
I am telling myself that should such things happen, they are outside of my control and I should not be upset or stressed about it. What do you think the chances are? Should we end up spending a night in Chicago, well that is all part of the adventure isn’t it, and should be treated as such. We’ll see.
I often feel, after months of waiting and counting down, a sense of panic that I have not only forgotten something, but have not planned enough to make the most of the holiday. It is silly I know, as we’ve not had a bad one yet, but such is the thought process for a planning Type A control freak such as myself.
This time next week we shall be in and around Chicago, about to undertake the final leg of our journey down to Orlando. This throws up the age-old question of when does your holiday start? Every year I tell myself to relax and enjoy the journey as much as possible. This is a life lesson I would do well to heed in general, as even though the long journey can be arduous, tiring and stressful, it is better than any other day when we are not heading for Florida!
De Plane!
I love the child like excitement and anticipation of the airport on departure day. It smells of bright white trainers, too much perfume, childhood memories and raw adrenaline. In Louise’s case the latter is pretty much all from her as she still finds flying a major challenge. The enormous breakfast, the visit to WH Smiths and in more recent years Starbucks are all part of the pre-flight routine that confirm that we are heading off for fun and sunshine.
Here comes the annual offer of in holiday updates should you wish to follow any or all of us. There are the links you need –
The advent of in park WiFi has changed things forever in my view. Travelling to the States just a few short years ago meant leaving your phone and/or laptop at home, and being blissfully disconnected for the majority of your time away. Now, you can get online all over the place, and this makes it much easier to taunt those stuck at home with photos and updates galore.
We will be pretty active on twitter I would imagine, but the trick is to remember to put the phone away (are you listening Emily?) and enjoy things in the old-fashioned way.
Jet lag dependent the next scheduled blog will be September 1st, but I make no guarantees. I may not be able to see the laptop over my enormous stomach for a start.
As ever it does not feel real that we shall be back home in a few short days, dining in our favourite places, and doing our favourite things, but I shall do my best to adjust to the idea over the next week, readying my body for the onslaught of calories, heat and Disney.
For those we may encounter over there, I look forward to meeting you, and I hope my sack does not disappoint.
And now, normal service is resumed, both in terms of the lack of exciting content, and in terms of me being able to talk about plans for our upcoming WDW holiday.
We’ve been waiting so long for the reveal that I always thought once we’d done it, we’d be more or less setting off for the airport immediately. Unfortunately this is not the case, and the week since has been one of the slowest I can remember. We have two more to conquer and I don’t see them whizzing by either.
So as tradition dictates, my holiday clothes shopping started at around 10.30 on Saturday and ended two shops later at around 11.45. I have my bright white trainers, a new pair of “leezure pants” in which to travel, and some other bits and bobs. Done!
These are all white.
As usual, at this time of year I dust down Ryan, and check out whatever we left in him last year before he was tucked into hibernation for the year. It turns out he didn’t contain half of the things I hoped he did and so had to visit Amazon for some stuff essential to the modern traveler.
Rechargeable batteries for the camera
Four new plug adapters (for the vast array of electrical hair devices and phone chargers)
Some inflatable neck pillow things (who needs Business Class?)
The main man
The dollars were ordered this week. No doubt I could have gained an extra three dollars or so by studying the phases of the moon or Michelle Obama’s menstrual cycle, but instead I just ordered from Travelex for next day delivery and got on with my life. I am not cool and sophisticated enough to be able to resist counting my dollars and even having a quick sniff when they arrive though!
Now of course it is not unusual for all those pre-trip concerns to rear their head. Of course being on an indirect flight the main fear is that this will cause us trouble. The risk of one leg being delayed is a worry. Only on the way out really to be honest, as if we’re late coming home I can live with that.
The relief of getting to check in to find that everything is running to time is one I really look forward to. If it isn’t, be ready for one enormous sulk, and be thankful you are not travelling with me!
From everyone’s lovely comments and replies last week, it really does seem that half of the UK will be in Florida with us, most of whom seem to be staying at Old Key West. If you do see us there or anywhere else, please come and say hello, and I’ll do a collection of blog reader photos for a special blog when I return. I’ll even let you hold my sack! In fact, let’s make that a rule. To avoid any embarrassment of approaching some bald bloke of the internet you must introduce yourself by saying “Hi, I’d like to hold your sack”. That should be an ice breaker.
I see that I also picked up a number of new readers last week, so welcome to you all. You will quickly discover that last week’s exciting and emotional post isn’t something to expect every week. More likely you’ll find irrational rants and woe is me moaning, but hopefully you will stick around for a while.
You should know also that the rule is that if you have ever read one of my blogs you must buy my book. It’s the law, OK?
I’m off to watch the clock tick down some more and work out how the hell I can write a trip report that is in some different from all the ones before. That may take some thinking through.
Depending upon your willingness to endure the tweets/facebook stati of me or any of the family, you may or may not have heard some exciting news. I thought I should confirm and finally confess that despite everything I have been saying for the past few months, we ARE going to WDW this year.
Firstly, I have to apologise that I can only reveal this now, as we actually booked back in early March. However there is a very good reason for this evil deception. If you feel bad that I have kept this from you, just imagine how Emily felt!
Emily only discovered that we were going this year on Friday evening as this “surprise” trip was always intended as an 18th birthday present for her. We were absolutely sure we would not be going this year…really….but earlier this year, as our thoughts turned to her upcoming 18th, we had been struggling to think of something to buy her to celebrate what we think of as one of two significant milestones, the other being a 21st birthday.
We talked about getting her an old banger, as she has recently passed her driving test, but to be honest we didn’t think she’d be too excited with that and wouldn’t use it as much as the investment in the insurance may merit. She’s glad she can drive, but not a driving fanatic if you know what I mean. Plus, we’d only just insured her on my car for the year, so that was a non starter really. We certainly couldn’t afford to insure her on two cars.
We thought about a theatre break in London. She would love to see Les Miserables or Wicked, but some research into that saw the costs quickly tot up to something that wouldn’t be worth it (in our view) for just 48 hours in the capital.
Of course, we also looked at DLP, to tick the Disney box, but as ever, for just a few short days those costs mounted up too, and we really struggle to see value in just a few days in unpredictable weather….and of course it is in France with French people.
So with all those discounted, what to do? After lots and lots of thought we asked ourselves a simple (loaded) question.
What one thing would she choose were she able to?
With that, there was only one possible answer, and so we bit the bullet and made the decision.
It always comes down to a comparison between the cost of something and the expected cost of going to WDW doesn’t it? All the other options were clocking up prices large enough to be compared to a WDW holiday and so that then became a consideration. Ultimately, I suppose we see better value for money despite the vast amounts involved.
This decision took enormous self-sacrifice of course as we’d have to go with her!! However, it did take lots of financial sacrifice as pretty much everything we wanted to do to the house has been put on indefinite hold.
To say that is has been difficult to keep this a secret for all these months would be a huge understatement, and the amount of times myself and Louise have almost let it slip is incalculable. Also, sitting watching Emily physically pine for Disney on a daily basis has been painful, knowing that we are going but not being able to tell her. It’s like having the antidote for an illness but not being allowed to administer it.
This was because we wanted to reveal her present on her birthday, obviously. We figured this would make the day memorable for her.
Since we booked in March Emily has spent much of her spare time watching a lot of You Tube videos on our telly all about Disney. There have been so many times when Louise or I have almost said things like “Oh we can do that when go” etc etc. How we made it to her birthday I will never know.
We were doing so well, but we made the fatal mistake of increasing the risk by telling other family members. With just over a week to go to the big reveal, Louise’s Mum came round to let us know that we needed to be careful as there had been an unusual number of burglaries in the area, and that we should close all our windows when we go out, and when we go away make sure everything is secure!!
With Emily in the room, Louise desperately tried to express via facial expressions that she’d dropped a clanger whilst verbally telling her of course we would do that if we were to go away ever, but we had no plans! Luckily I was not there at the time as rugby tackling a pensioner and wrestling them to the ground may be frowned upon by the authorities.
We also had the issue of when to tell Rebecca. We had kept her out of the loop for as long as we could, knowing how hard we were finding it not to let it slip out, as we knew it would only increase the risk further. But in early July we had to allow her into the “circle of trust”. This was because her boyfriend Tom was turning down offers of holidays from friends and family as he thought Rebecca was not going away this summer. So we told her, and after some initial upset and panic at the thought of Tom having missed out only now to find she would be away, all was well.
Tom did manage to arrange a holiday at more or less the same time that we would be away, and so love’s young dream was rescued. Rebecca’s excitement levels have been at “high” since and to her credit she has kept the whole thing to herself.
It has also been very difficult for me planning wise, as normally half the fun of these holidays is all the research and arranging of stuff, but of course only if you can share that across large parts of the internet. It has felt strange to know that we are going but to keep up the facade that we were not at all times. You may have noticed whenever I was asked if we were going this year I’d say something like “I can’t report any trip this year” or “No, I can’t say we are going this year”. So I didn’t really lie!!
The reveal itself was the subject of a fair bit of thought and planning, so I’ll cover that before I go into the details of the trip. All along we’d had an idea of putting together some sort of video montage of her growing up, culminating in the reveal of her present. This seemed more fitting than just handing her a card with a message in or just telling her.
So after going out for a celebratory meal on Friday…..
Emily and her NanaFirst legal drinkEmily and her Grandma
We came back to our house for the present giving, drinks and cake. Emily had specifically requested one of Louise’s cheesecakes and not some shop bought birthday cake!
Emily and 18 candles
We had earlier in the day given her a Pandora bracelet as her “present” and bless her she was thrilled. After she’d unwrapped everyone else’s presents once back from the meal we then told her we had something else to show her and settled down to watch this…it lasts a good few minutes and please make sure your speakers are on!
So that you can get an idea of Emily’s reaction, I had Rebecca video her watching it. Don’t worry this is just a video of the last vital few seconds not her watching the whole thing!
The tears went on for quite some time, and not just from Emily.
It is almost impossible to put into words Emily’s level of love for WDW, and her passion and obsession seems to have grown knowing (or thinking) that we would not be going back this year. That video of her reaction is the very definition of joy.
So what does the plan look like?
Here we go with the booking back story.
With a green light to get stuff booked, but a severe lack of actual funds to do so, of course flights were the starting point, immediately followed by abject horror at the state of prices. You’d think with both girls out of school now we’d be picking up flights for ten bob as we are not strictly tied to term times. Alas no, Louise has taken up that mantle and her holiday dates from Uni have all the flexibility of sheet of polystyrene.
I can’t wait till Louise qualifies! We shall be going in the depths of February with flights for £7.35.
To cut a very long story short, at the time of searching (and there was a lot of searching) I found some flights for around £550, indirect, which was astonishingly good compared to the norm of £800+. The only catch was that we couldn’t get the exact dates we wanted/needed, as flying on the exact dates to get back for Louise’s new term meant the prices went silly. So these more reasonable flights came back on the right day but meant we’d have to fly out a day later than we wanted, so we would only be able to do thirteen days. However as this was a saving of around £1000 for the four of us it was just a no brainer. Literally going on the 17th rather than the 18th would have increased the flight costs by about a quarter.
Having watched my Kayak alerts email report ever more silly prices on a daily basis since booking, I do feel quite good about what we paid.
So we fly out via Chicago on the 18th of August and back on the 31st (my birthday) via JFK with American Airlines, booked through Orbitz.
Accommodation was fairly straight forward, as our (lack of) budget and the desire not to spend two weeks all in one room pointed us towards a villa for most of our stay.
When the girls were much smaller, all of us being in one room was very do-able. Now, with us being effectively four adults, and with three of them having a “getting ready” cycle measured in hours it just isn’t practical for any length of time, simply because we need more than one bathroom. With one bathroom between us, my sulking at not being at a theme park before lunch may ruin the whole holiday.
Add to that the sheer amount of electrical devices, lotions potions and powders involved, there physically wouldn’t be room for all of us in one room, and I’m not leaving any of my skin and hair care products at home for anyone.
I did fancy a few nights on site though, and we’d be happy to do one room for a night or two. Having rented some DVC points from a friendly (and very discrete) Dibber (Thank You Debbie), we tried to secure somewhere to stay. We did want Vero but there was just no suitable availability, and so we worked through what were quite limited options for WDW properties as we were fairly late to the party booking wise.
We were delighted to secure three nights at Old Key West to start the holiday. We’ve never stayed there before but heard lovely things about it from our DVC friends Steve and Di who have that as their home resort, having bought into DVC in about 1938 when it was the only resort available. Crucially I believe the rooms there to be slightly bigger than the more recent DVC resorts, and they actually have two real beds rather than one and a sofa bed. Again, a sofa bed for the girls at 16 and 18 is just a non starter.
Villa wise, we have gone for location first as ever, and secured a lovely looking place on Lindfields for ten nights. We have stayed on Lindfields several times before, and along with Sunset Lakes is probably the best location in our opinion for our needs.
Some months later, as often happens, a less than inspiring day at work led to my mind wandering to the holiday, and the plan, and the addition of a night away at the beach. We have previously loved an impromptu stay at the Hilton at Daytona, and with a little bit of internet and a smattering of Quidco I found a room for the very reasonable sum of less than £70! Another no brainer, and that means two lovely days at the beach.
Park tickets were a simple affair, and this was just a matter of finding the cheapest 14 day ultimate on offer and that was done and dusted. Quidco again…Kha-ching!
Car hire too was straight forward. US Rent a Car is my usual port of call, and again it proved to be very reasonable, and allows you to secure a car with just a deposit.
A meet was arranged with Jakki and her family as usual (thank you too for the secrecy!), and we’ll be meeting up for a meal at Roaring Forks and a watch of Wishes from the spectacular and impressive bar at the top of Bay Lake Tower. It does indeed pay to have friends in high places. This will be on our first day and their last. Spare yourself any feelings of pity for them as they will have been on holiday for around seven months by then!
Dining wise, you may know that in recent trips our on site ADRs have been few and far between. We don’t do the Dining Plan, (we simply couldn’t eat that much food you know!) and we love so many off site eateries that we’d feel like we were missing out. However, there was one place we had to try to get into, and it wouldn’t be easy. Be Our Guest had become an obsession of Emily’s since the opening of the new Fantasy Land, and believe me we’ve watched every video of it on You Tube.
A small amount of research told me that getting a reservation would be harder than having a sensible debate on the Dibb without the usual clowns getting the thread closed. The date upon which we could book ADRs had long since passed, and so, one lunchtime I was messing about on the WDW web site and app, looking up stuff and I wandered into the dining reservation bit.
With little to lose other than time and my job, I tried a few date and time combinations for Be Our Guest all to no avail. However, one last try brought success, and I quickly completed the booking hardly able to believe my luck. Maybe it was meant to be?
Our only other ADR is at the Mexico place in Epcot on our last night. We’ll be there so I can cry uncontrollably at Reflections of Earth, so I’ve got us in at around 6.45 to save us having to drive off site to find food.
Our other eating plans involve the usual suspects, and these old faithfuls are just such a part of our trips that we cannot bear to miss them –
Olive Garden – The Lasagne is probably Emily’s favourite meal on the planet.
Applebees – I would wrestle anyone who comes between me and my Ultimate Trio.
Bahama Breeze – We have never had less than a superb experience here.
Romanos Macaroni Grill – A hidden gem.
Outback – A first night tradition.
We may stumble into Beaches and Cream at some point too for another fight with the Kitchen Sink. The current score is Williams family 1 Kitchen Sink 0.
So we now have, or at least can finally display, our shortest ever countdown to a trip. In just three short weeks we will be on our way. All this secrecy has meant that mentally I haven’t quite come to grips with the fact that we are indeed going again, but I’ll be working hard to do so very quickly now.
Will I be doing a trip report? I would think yes. This is your pre-trip report by the way! I’m not sure where to put it yet, but there will be a collection of knob gags and turtle heads somewhere on the internet…probably the usual places.
So again, apologies for the blatant lies, but hopefully you can understand why and be forgiving. Let the countdown commence!
A bit of early bloggage this week, as I don’t want to be writing this thing at the normal time today as I will be watching the golf.
In the on-going soap opera that is the Williams way, it has been a fairly uneventful week to be honest, with the major events being as exciting as me being away with work for a couple of days, and Oli having a haircut.
With the weather as it has been for while now, what you don’t want to be is an Old English Sheepdog. As cute as he looks with a fuller plume, by the time he had kept Louise awake for three nights panting the hair had to go. I suffered a similar fate back in the late nineties and have never been the same since.
Cute but hot.
A few months ago, we invested in some decent clippers for Oli, as we were fed up of paying enormous fees to dog groomers. Having now shaved him twice, we understand that they are probably underpaid!
The right kit probably helps, as he is a wriggly bugger, and has some real issues with you shaving his legs. So after doing the easy bits on his body he then spends a couple of hours looking like he’s wearing wooly chaps. I can say there end the similarities between Oli and myself. My chaps are leather.
How very dare you.
So it took both Louise and I all of Saturday morning to get him to an acceptable state. We then had more hair on us than Oli ever did.
Of course now he’s all ready for the heatwave, today it has been overcast and cool and he’s been snuggling up to anything with a temperature to keep warm. I suspect we are not in his good books.
I’d like to do the same to both cats. Not because they are hot, I’d just like to.
I timed my night away from home well. It was officially the hottest day of the year, and to compound matters I was down south in Marlow, where everyone knows it is always at least five degrees hotter then the frozen north.
As I arrived at my hotel on Wednesday evening, it was very hot outside. However as I opened my door it took me back to that first blast of Florida heat as you first leave the airport. It appears that the central heating was on, and had been for some time. With the outside temperature being over thirty degrees, inside it must have been knocking forty.
I wrestled with the radiators for a while to get them off, opened the windows, and stripped down to my undies. Imagine a sumo wrestler on a single bed watching the telly.
With no breeze coming through the window I had to eventually leave the room and go for a walk as the outside temperature was refreshing compared to my room. I did a good hours walk, worked up a nice sweat and went back to my room to find the place no better. I stood in a cold shower for twenty minutes before going to bed where I enjoyed a good half hour or so of uninterrupted sleep.
My walk did allow me to discover a lot more of Marlow than I ever have before, which has pretty much been the office, my hotel room and Pizza Express, and it really is a beautiful place. I couldn’t however even afford to look in the estate agent’s window.
I was back home Thursday evening, and we’ve been planning Emily’s birthday celebrations since. We’re all out for a meal on Friday evening (about fifteen of us) once everyone has finished work, and then it will be a “gathering” back at our house for her to open her presents.
No doubt next week’s blog shall share the details with you, plus a few photos.
Life is random and unpredictable. The more foolish amongst you may think that I have these posts planned days in advance, and come to the keyboard with thoughts fully formed.
Those knowing me better may guess that I often stare at this white page after Sunday tea without a thought in my head, which is indeed no different to any other time of the week.
So up until this morning I had nothing and would have waffled on about some inane stuff, as usual, but events, as they often do have given me cause to press the keys.
As is becoming more the norm these days, I am getting my news via Twitter. This morning I was doing just that having woken far too early to be acceptable for a Sunday. The very sad news that I saw was that an actor from Glee had been found dead in a hotel room. Cory Monteith it seems, has joined the ever-growing list of those who have found fame, fortune and the perils that accompany it at a young age, and although nothing has been announced yet, and we must not assume, looks to have died as a result.
Cory Monteith
Now, I am no Gleek. To be fair, I thought the first series was original and watchable, and had all the best intentions. Later series seem to have forgotten why it existed and instead of having the collection of “wrong uns”, have drifted towards a cast of the young and beautiful instead, which sort of defeated the object of the whole thing.
Anyway, Glee is one of those programmes were it is non negotiable that we watch. Emily loves it, and lives it.
Having taken in the news of his sad passing, it then dawned on me what the impact of this may be on Emily. Nearly eighteen she might be, but this was bound to hit her hard.
An hour or so later, she appeared downstairs and literally collapsed in tears. She has been very fortunate in that in her eighteen years on the planet, she hasn’t yet really experienced the loss of a close relative, and the closest thing to date had been the loss of our Cocker Spaniel a couple of years ago.
Such was her affection for the programme and its cast, she has taken this news as if she had lost a family member.
Some may say she should grow up, or get some perspective, but it is easy to forget the attachments you make to things as you grow up, and all we can be is supportive I suppose.
In a way I’d rather she were vulnerable, emotional and maybe even a little young for age, as the alternative is a little bleak.
She continues to mourn in her way, and has just made it downstairs after a full day in bed, red-eyed and weary, and sits hugging a cushion and her phone on the couch. If there was a way to take her pain away I would, but only time will do that I suppose. Dad’s hugs can only do so much!
Although of course, this young actor’s death hasn’t left me in bits, as I am old, wizened and devoid of that youthfulness she possesses, I do feel for his family and friends, not only having to deal with loss, but also with the media frenzy. If it does turn out to be another death from “abuse” of some substance or other, I will struggle to be over sympathetic. You may recall my disdain when Amy Winehouse died? I of course just do not understand the “celebrity” world, and why these talented wealthy individuals have to shove stuff up their noses and veins in order to get through the day. They need to try working for a living instead. It’s a miracle that my daily commute hasn’t led me to Class A drugs or a murderous rampage yet.
Well, I suppose as they do not understand the daily grind, I of course do not understand the pressures and pitfalls of fame.
Onto more serious stuff. My illness lingers. I have had a bobbins week, full of snot, coughing, aches and snot. Whilst I am now seeing light at the end of the tunnel, I could still wallpaper a large room with the contents of my nasal passages.
I’d like to thank all those who enquired after my health this week. I’d like to, but, well you know the rest.
Looking ahead, we are now entering the final countdown. Not like most years when at this stage I am bouncing of several walls at the promise of our two weeks in WDW. Alas, no, I cannot relay that excitement. This countdown is to the end of Emily’s childhood. She turns 18 on the 26th of July, and we are thinking of suitable ways to mark the occasion. Hopefully she will have recovered from her broken heart in time.
This coming week she resumes work on these here WDW home movies I have been teasing for the past few weeks. To add the required kick up the arse she may need to get out of bed in the AM, the You Tube channel has now been set up, and should you wish to subscribe that would perhaps add the required pressure to have her complete one and post it. So please, click through and subscribe folks.
No pressure Emily!
Right, Glee’s on the telly, I may be required to dispense a hug or two.
There can be little surprise about the subject of this week’s diatribe. Anyone even close to following or friending any of us will have guessed already.
That’s right, I have a cold. I am deep into day three of this hell, and there is little sign of any escape. I have barely mentioned it I know, but this is because I am as weak as the proverbial kitten and find it hard to press those tweeting buttons in this life threatening state.
Sure, the irony of having a cold on the hottest days of the year have not escaped me. I add to the ironic list of “crap” that has befallen us in recent times. Allow me my persecution complex, with the usual caveat that I’m lucky that these are my only troubles.
We’ve replaced a dishwasher, a shower, two tyres and paid for a prom and all it entails in the last two weeks, and today whilst out with the dog he’s gone and hurt his leg which will involve a costly visit to the vets no doubt, with a fee just nicely below the excess on his insurance policy. Sigh.
There is little worse than a me feeling sorry for himself, and the only thing that is, is a me feeling sorry for himself with a cold. Meh!
Speaking of paying for proms, I shan’t let this post descend into a gratuitous moan about the ridiculous sums parents (of girls especially) are pressurised into paying. Instead I shall celebrate the glorious glamour and maturity of my youngest daughter, much as I did with my eldest just a couple of years ago.
With literally months of preparation, the big day came last Thursday. How handy it was that another of these seismic landmarks happened the Thursday before (Emily passing her test) as Rebecca had an appointment list longer than Max Clifford at the BBC all day. She’d had her nails done, and needed a spray tan, hair appointment and to be at the pick up point at around 5pm.
Emily then was designated chauffeur for the day.
On that point, it does appear to be an epic summer event wise with leavings of schools, exams, driving tests, proms and if things carry on breaking, bankruptcy.
At around 4.30pm Rebecca emerged looking like a million dollars, which is ironic as it had cost……OK, I said wouldn’t do that.
I made that!
She looked beautiful. I would say that even if she didn’t but she did.
We then all took her to the limo collection point, a friend’s house, where eighteen “kids” were gathered along with countless relatives and friends all keen to get the photographs and memories that they had invested so much in. (I’m having that one!).
Luckily it was a lovely evening, and after an hour or so of a multitude of dresses and suits arriving they were ready for the off. The limo parked up outside, and more photos happened.
Rebecca’s Tom
Rebecca’s boyfriend Tom had come along to see her off.
The sense of relief as they all got into the limo and drove away was enormous. Mums and Dads all breathed huge collective sighs of relief. Thankfully with both mine now done that should be it till they get married. As I am insisting on Florida weddings for both that doesn’t bother me too much!
All 18 fit in that car!
Of course it is odd and nostalgia filled to see your own child all grown up, leaving school and all of that but when you group together eighteen of them, most of which you’ve had at sleep overs, parties and all sorts of events for the past twelve years or so, it is fairly surreal. Most of the gathered parents waving off the limo were also stood together outside of nursery, primary school, brownies, guides and eternal school discos over the years.
It felt like we should have a prom to celebrate the fact we may never see each other again!
To cement and confirm my fast acceleration into my inevitable old age and death, at the end of the night, Emily drove to pick her up. I went with her as
She didn’t know where she was going
She had never driven in the dark before
It was just a surreal night all round as I sat next to my daughter in the car waiting for my youngest to appear. The night was declared “OK” with all the usual enthusiasm of a teenager, and with that the night was done.
Just the collection of A level and GCSE results to do, and our connection with the school will be done forever. Unless one of them becomes a teacher and works there which I have to say is an unlikely career choice for either of them, but you never know.
With those thoughts and wise words I am away to indulge myself in the fallacy that you should feed a cold. I for one am not likely to disobey such sound medical advice.
So we’ve had a bit of a landmark week. One of those events that everyone seems to remember as an important milestone on our hurtle towards death happened for Emily. She passed her driving test on Thursday!
Licence to Kill
Believe me, I was delighted and not unemotional when she came home with the news. Despite the enormous expense, which I won’t mention (rats, I failed) it has been a long old road, pun intended.
The few moments of hugging and jumping around quickly turned to horror as Rebecca suggested that Emily drive them both to McDonalds immediately. I did agree that it was a good idea to immediately get out and about, but the limitless fear of her being out on the big bad roads, along with my only other spawn was tangible.
I cheerily waved them off, and then watched her all the way via the Find My iPhone app whilst I sat trying to do some work. They returned soon enough unscathed and full of some sort of mocha frappe thing. Forget this being a landmark for Emily, this is just something else Louise and I can sit and fret about!
Fear aside I am very proud of her, and to have only incurred three minors (they are allowed fifteen before it becomes a fail) shows the high standard to which she drives. On our recent trips out before her test it was clear that she knew how to drive, and safely.
That of course does not mean that since passing she hasn’t already had a bit of a close shave with a Mini Cooper, but this is all part of the real learning that we all go through once we’ve passed. She’ll have a few more I’m sure.
It would appear that our luck was definitely in this week, and I find it only fair to declare that as I bemoan the opposite often enough. Louise had a hospital appointment, and having parked up, grabbed her coat from the back seat to hold over her head as protection from the persisting rain whilst feeding the parking machine an obscene amount of money.
She did so, went for her appointment and returned to the car. Whilst getting back into her car, she noticed something shiny in a puddle. Upon closer inspection she found that the shiny things were in fact her wedding, engagement and eternity rings that had fallen from coat pocket as she held it over her head.
She had put them in her pocket whilst doing something medical at work earlier in the week for which rings are not allowed otherwise you lose them somewhere less pleasant than a puddle.
To have spent an hour away from them, whilst they lay in the rain, and come back to find them there was probably the greatest amount of fortune ever to befall us. Incredible.
I don’t know if anyone had spotted them, but maybe they just didn’t like the look of Louise’s ring! Ah, the ring joke. Welcome back my long-lost friend.
In other good news news on the same day, we also heard that my niece, Sarah, had passed her first year at University. So Thursday was a good day all round.
The weekend has brought more ridiculous amounts of running around, with my errand count off the scale once again. Collecting altered prom dresses, taking Rebecca to work, the big shop and all sorts of other nonsense are just a flavour of my itinerary. When I have had contact with a seat I have taken an interest in Glastonbury. Even at my advanced age I can usually find something of interest. I used to be in a band you know!!
Alas, the bits I have caught have been woeful. Last night was soul-destroying for the future of music as a whole. I had the misfortune to stumble across Example during his “act”. My God, I have never heard so many notes not even close to where they should be in one collection of songs. This guys talent is never beginning.
A really bad example
I then watched the Rolling Stones, more out of curiosity than expectation, as I can’t say I’m a fan. It affirmed that this decision was correct, and that Charlie Watts could be the worst millionaire musician in the world.
There is a massive amount of Emperor’s new clothes about these old codgers and a multitude of other acts, with the media telling everyone they are great and so it is believed. I can only hope this brings down the curtain on their elongated and excruciating latter years of their career. Why they are still felt to be relevant when their last Number One single was before I was born I don’t know.
Next year, I am hoping for a headline slot from Brother Beyond to restore my faith in the music industry.
Not very holiday like to be honest. I’ve ended up working more than not, and in hindsight should have seen that coming and postponed it till next week, but such is life.
I’ll reclaim some time back in the coming weeks no doubt.
Despite the intrusion of work into most of my days off so far, I did manage to fit in one of my regular games of golf. I play regularly, once or twice a year without fail, and on Friday my Dad took me up to his club for 18 holes.
As expected for someone who plays as often as I do, it was a mixed bag of good bad and embarrassing, but I thoroughly enjoyed it, despite the constant buzz in my pocket of work emails arriving on my phone!
I have tomorrow off too, so I’m without the usual Sunday syndrome of woe, which is nice.
As I mentioned last week, we stumbled across all our old “home movies” from our holidays to Florida. We’ve been watching them throughout the week with a mix of nostalgia, wonderment at the speed of the passing years and bewilderment at how Louise’s hair reacts to the Floridian climate.
Louise + Florida
We’ve seen ourselves age, and watched our regular Disney friends again which was lovely. Be warned Jakki and Margaret, you and your families may well make the final edit.
For this is what Emily is to do with her summer off now that she has finally done her last exam. Luckily, my brother has a big posh shiny Mac with all the fancy dan editing stuff on it, so we’re “borrowing” that to make something that may be interesting, and a memento of our journey into insolvency.
Luckily, Emily has been using this kit for four years in her studies so I don’t have to learn how to. So with all the tapes watched, our thoughts turned to getting the footage off the camcorder and onto the Mac so Emily can work her magic.
Of course, the footage is on old style mini DV tapes, and despite both myself and my brother raiding our respective “cable collections” neither of us had the required one.
We’ve tried all sorts of cables, connectors, intermediary devices and a whole lot of googling to come to the conclusion that we need to give Amazon some more money for the only cable in existence that we do not possess. Amazon would do well to understand this process of exchanging money by the way…still no book funds from the buggers.
Compare this faff to the adverts you see from Microsoft and Apple, where someone records something, and then vaguely waves their camera device in the vicinity of the computer and in about four keystrokes it turns into a film epic that James Cameron would be proud of. Sequences may have been shortened? I should cocoa, by about three weeks.
Anyway, once this cable finds it way to our house Emily will be off and running, and can produce her masterpiece. As she spends most of her free time watching other folks Disney videos on You Tube, she intends to give something back by having her own channel where these shall be posted.
Don’t worry, as soon as there is something to see I shall have you know, several times, until you are sick of heating about it…sorry, more sick of hearing about it.
Speaking of great films, we watched Django Unchained last night. I know we are late to the game, but we really enjoyed it. It was superbly made of course, with some great acting, but the thing that really made it stand out to me was that it had a great story. That may sound obvious, but that isn’t always the case. An island of quality in a sea of nonsense like Made in Chelsea and TOWIE that infects and invades our TV all too often.
Django…with a silent D
I bet Tarantino didn’t have to wait three days for a cable to arrive from Amazon so that he could edit his film though.
Anyway, to save Quentin a job when he buys the rights to my book, this week Jakki kindly provided a cast list for him as we’d been watching us all boogie boarding at Vero. Feel free to let me know who you’d see playing who too!!
Steve (Jakki’s husband) – Bruce Willis for obvious folically related reasons
Jakki – Halle Berry
Aodhan – Tom Cruise standing on a very tall box
Niamh – Scarlett Johansson as she’s blond and Niamh likes the Avengers
Louise – Jennifer Lopez as she can sing and act
Emily – Anne Hathaway as she’s a Disney girl and was in Les Miserables
Rebecca – Kourtney Kardashian as she’s glam and has a boyfriend
Lastly Jakki claims I need three actors – Dwayne the Rock Johnson / Jason Statham and Simon Pegg. I would have said more Alan Carr or the bloke who played Reg Holdsworth but there you go. I am often called “The Rock”. It sounds like that anyway.
You may think, today being what it is, that I would have been gently awoken with a delicious breakfast in bed, with enough food involved to sink several battle ships. Had I had waited for such an event I would have been both very hungry and sat in a moist and uncomfortable bed. At my age, eight hours between peeing is cause for a high-five and a twenty five minute wee.
Instead I had been downstairs for several hours, and undertaken lots of things I’d rather not have done, such as tidying the kitchen, before my beloved daughters actually graced me with their presence.
I did get a text late morning with some sort of Father’s Day wishes and a smiley face, but it was into the PM before they managed to actually get downstairs. I don’t begrudge them the lie in, as they had got me presents and a card, and I then made them pay me back for the long wait with extensive hugs, complete with my scratchy weekend no shaving chin.
The majority of my presents were, it will not surprise you to know, food based, and I shall lay waste to those this evening. My favourite sweets (Sports Mixture) and my favourite snack (Bombay Mix) shall ensure that I shall be awake for a week with heartburn but that is a price I’m willing to pay. After those treats the T shirt they also got me may have to go back for a bigger size!
Come to Daddy!
Whilst I had them in the room I took the chance to tell them both how things have to change around the house now they have both finished school/college for the summer. They are your typical lazy, do the bare minimum teen types so we’ve outlined quite clearly what we expect them to do in between the endless episodes of Friends and Jersey Shore that shall be their companions this summer.
As well as boring household duties, I have also tasked Emily with using her Media and Film Studies learnings to turn the collection of video footage from the past decade of holidays into something watchable. If she finds the motivation, and the tapes themselves, watch for those coming to a You Tube channel near you soon(ish).
All sweetness and light
So they have their faults, but I’m proud of them and grateful that we’ve managed to produce two healthy, (usually) happy and normal teens. Things, I’m sure, could be a lot worse, and for parents of a sixteen and seventeen year old we don’t do so bad. You may need to remind us of that as we berate them yet again for not doing something they should or vice versa. Overall, I’m sure others have it much worse.
Just tidy the kitchen!
Speaking of which.
Contrast that with the car crash of a family that the girls like to watch on the TV. Surely, the most damning and woeful indictment on the reality TV, fifteen minutes of fame culture we are subject to. Well, this weekend these blerts popped out another member of their clan.
Who is this? The Kardashians. Normally, I try to let the vacuous nature of these types drift past me. Things like Big Brother, The Valleys and Jersey Shore are usually just a brief interruption to my Facebook timeline as those watching it pass comment.
However, the girls do like to watch the Kardashian stuff, so I often have to endure their whiny, always go up the end of sentences, IQ devoid nonsense. These clowns are the ultimate example of being famous for being famous. The way they are idolised is a worry though. The “mother” talks about how she manages their “careers” as if she had re-invented the wheel, when in effect she did the abhorrent thing of launching her daughter’s career by devising, probably directing and then promoting her daughter’s sex tape.
Can anyone see her talent?
Am I just moaning because I resent them their money? Sure, of course. I am equally as untalented as they are, so why should they be the multi-gazillionaires they are whilst I actually work for a living?
Now, from the PR constructed relationship, they have begat another one of their spawn, and already the cogs will be turning to launch the baby clothes line, the Kardashian nappy, and in about eighteen years, no doubt another tawdry sex tape. How proud Grandma will be.
When every event in your life is just another line in a script, it must be difficult. However, the limitless cash, and fawning assistants will prevent them from having to deal with the real world any time soon.
Whenever I rant like this, I trot out the line that I clearly need a holiday, so I’m going to have one next week. I’m off from Wednesday until the following Tuesday, and I intend to use a lot of that time as an investment in me. Sleep, relaxing, walking of dogs, and maybe some long overdue exercise will be the order of the day(s), as I try to recover from what has been a very long slog since Christmas.
If that doesn’t work then expect next week’s blog to be a thousand word monologue about Rylan, his new teeth and how being crap at singing has launched a career destined to continue for several months, or at least until the pantomime season finishes….but that’s for next week.
For once I am not bemoaning my lack of WDW funds. In fact this moan is not fiscally related at all. My poorness is of time.
I know we’re pretty much all the same, but once you take out of the week the stuff like commuting, working, and sleeping I appear to have about eleven minutes spare, and those are spent doing number twos! As much as that is time well invested, it doesn’t seem right does it?
This weekend, Saturday especially, was a great example of the madness of scheduling that is our life at the moment. Among dropping cars off for MOTs, taking the girls to work, collecting the car, then the girls, and in between fitting a trip to Bury, the morning was fully spoken for and then some.
I then had to move a dishwasher and fit it, which sounds nice and simple, but as with any DIY task in this house, it involved around ten times the length of time I estimated, it involved three seperate trips to B&Q, some of the finest swearing you could hope to hear, and resulted in my right hand bearing scars that will take weeks to heal.
My Saturday finally started around 6pm when my jobs were finally done. We then spent all evening watching Disney You Tube videos on the telly, courtesy of Emily. Kill or cure with these withdrawal symptoms! They were a mixture of the Phil, Emma and Ben ones and I saw World of Color (sic) at Disneyland for the first time too. This has established a West Coast trip firmly on my future “to do ” list. Like it wasn’t already!!
World of Color…here’s the missing u.
So what to do about the time poorness? I don’t hate my job, and I haven’t always been able to say that, but I can’t help feeling that it and other things are getting an unfair share of my time allowance.
But what is the remedy? Stopping work certainly isn’t it. Sure, I’d have loads of time on my hands, but I really would be in the number Twos in every other sense. You hear of these families that drop out of the rat race and go to live in a run down cottage in the Dordoigne, with the kids home schooled and the parents making a living recycling doilies.
Their clothes are made of dog spittle and grass, and they live off the land by learning to like the taste of soil. That’s not for us. I don’t think we are ever in a chance of winning the rat race, but our place in it is assured until I cop for my multi-million pound lottery win any week now. Either that, or my book will have become an essential text on the curriculum of every country on the planet, and I sell a couple of gabillion copies.
Speaking of my book, and being frank it has been far too long since I did so, it continues to sell. This astounds me as once the folk who knew me and knew of me felt obliged to humour me by buying a copy, I expected that to be that. Surely now these folk making the purchases are “real people”, with all due respect to those who bought it early doors! You know what I mean.
In case you had forgotten what it looks like
This pleases me. There is also every chance that I might actually receive some money from Amazon this month. Yes, I know I released the book in March. Amazon don’t make enormous profits on which to pay no tax by accident!
Once those funds flood (trickle) into my account, I shall officially have been paid for writing something for the first time. This (in my own sad mind) makes me a writer!! Indulge me please.
It has thrown up one conundrum for the future though. Should we ever be able to fund another trip to the US, (and it won’t be courtesy of Amazon, I’ll tell you that) what to do with the trip report? Do I publish it online in the usual places? Do I put it up here on my blog, or do I do an e-book? I would feel guilty doing the latter, making folk go out of their way to read the thing, but what other material will I ever have for the making of books? Tis a quandry.
Thankfully, (or not) this is not an imminent problem to solve. Have I mentioned that we have no trip to announce for this year? This may well be the first June in over a decade when I am not able to bore you all with the minute details of my ticket purchases and meal itinerary. How upset you must be.
So I might invent a trip to plan just for the hell of it. That is half the fun isn’t it? Or is that just me? Alternatively, should anyone need a hand with theirs then let me know. All these WDW related web sites are missing me and my constant summer time research.
This turn of events was not greeted with the usual elation and fuss that has been witnessed in previous years. This is mainly as this holiday booking was just me adding a few days to the holiday planner at work, and vowing to sleep for several days at home, rather than me punching the air as my smoking credit card lay next to an open Kayak website.
It probably won’t turn out to be the restful wonderland that I envisage, as I’ll no doubt be unable to sleep in, and be up checking work emails by 9am each day. Still, the intention is a good one.
The first week of work for Emily and Rebecca passed without major incident or dismissal, and I have enjoyed the obvious perk of the lovely cakes they have brought home too. That is one example of bringing your work home that I fully endorse.
I demolished that
Knowing they are now earning, before the first payment was earned they were already in debt, with Emily having purchased about thirty week’s wages worth of concert tickets, namely Paramore and One Direction.
Speaking of thirty week’s wages, we went to the cinema on Friday night to watch The Hangover Part III. It is always a sense of regret to have demolished my thirty quid’s worth of Ben & Jerrys before the adverts have finished. Luckily, the Pick n Mix saw me through to the natural conclusion. This was not the end of the film, just the onset of mild diabetes and nausea.
The film itself was ok. I know that is far from a Barry Norman review (ask your Dad), but it was enjoyable enough. I just found it odd that having established such a popular and successful premise that they then abandoned it for the third and final film.
The first two films were based on them waking up wrecked after a crazy night and having to unravel the trail of destruction. The third doesn’t do that, and I won’t spoil it for those yet to see it, but I think it was worse for not doing so. Don’t get me wrong, it was enjoyable and funny, just not quite as good as the first two.
That ugly Bradley Cooper
If you do go to see it, you MUST stay for the credits. The final scene in those credits is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a while. Infantile and lude, but funny. Just the way I like it.
Speaking of films, last week, my sister-in-law posted on Facebook asking a few of her friends to nominate their Desert Island Discs top five DVDs. I went for the following (the more astute among you will notice I chose six, but this was an honest mistake) –
Band of Brothers
Star Wars (the full box set of six)
Me, Myself and Irene
A Bridge Too Far
Beauty and the Beast
Anchorman
As with all these things, as soon as other folks start naming theirs you wish you’d thought of that one, but I’m fairly happy to stick with that list to be honest. Especially as the island I will be stuck on is just off the coast of Florida….about thirty feet off, so I can paddle ashore when the mood takes me.
Have a think and comment with your five (or six if you must).
So another week wanders by, with yet again no lottery win email in my inbox, so on-wards to work I go again next week. Things could be worse, despite the lack of real holiday or the correct six dropping balls. I am soldiering on with a stiff upper lip and my chin(s) up, although I would just add that our shower broke today.
This may get missed on the national news and we are coping as best we can. I shall be establishing a Just Giving page shortly for international donations.
This is required as earlier today Louise took Rebecca to the Trafford Centre to hunt out her prom shoes. To add insult to bankruptcy, she also picked up a “clutch”. This is not some sort of medical complaint it turns out, instead a small handbag made from real diamonds and unicorn pubes….it would seem.
Whilst they were out Emily and I went for a drive, and I know I am biased but she was brill. In fact she drove better than a lot of the idiots and arse wipes she had to take evasive action around. Just think, if they are both working and earning cash, and Emily can drive, I’m not sure what my function in life might be!
I have this week made my last ever packed lunch for the girls.
I haven’t made Emily one for a while as her college schedule allows her home for lunch, but Rebecca has been bound by both a uniform and lunches in school until just last week.
The busy nature of last week for me meant that I wasn’t able to mark the occasion as I might have wished. I would have liked to have created said sandwich with some sort of Samurai sword, and thirty-day aged steak, but my guess is Rebecca got cheese….again.
The fact that I am marking this landmark in this way is diametrically opposed to the way I often felt about having to undertake the task. It’s funny how that goes. Something along the lines of you don’t know what you’ve got till its gone I suppose.
Bar a few exams to attend that’s it for the girls now, and a journey which started in about 1999, when Emily started her first nursery is coming to an end.
As much as those years have zipped by in the growth of some love handles and the loss of more hair, they do still need their parents for some stuff, and as I still rely on mine too, I suppose they always will.
This was demonstrated this weekend in differing ways, reflecting the different types of young women we have created.
On Saturday morning Emily was up and about at 9am, which in itself is cause for concern or an ambulance, but this week she had good reason. Her One Direction obsession was the cause. Yes she is almost 18, but young at heart for sure. Disney and One Direction are her main interests, and in some ways, I am quite pleased about that. It could be worse.
So her early rise was to secure tickets for the recently announced massively over priced scream fest in a stadium near you. Not yet in possession of a credit card, she needed good old Dad to do the deed.
I wasn’t very hopeful to be honest. Having tried to get Beyonce tickets some weeks ago (for Rebecca) and failing in a blur of crashing websites and frustrated keyboard bashing, I expected the same with these lot.
We had two laptops up and running and Louise on the phone, and as the time came, right on cue all of the web sites we had loaded crashed. Ten minutes in I had mentally given in, but one last try of one site saw some actual pages working. A few brief clicks later and two tickets were in the bag.
Not having even looked at what type of tickets they were, we soon realised after the event that the seats were actually just outside of Birmingham.
Emily, bless her, was happy enough, and I toddled off to get on with my day. Moments later Emily informed me that extra dates were being added, and like a Dad on a mission I was back on the laptop. Long story short, two much better tickets were booked for the second date, and the two earlier ones sold.
Emily was best pleased.
Boy band induced happiness
Rebecca’s need for her Dad was a little less complex and expensive, but of a more urgent and pressing nature. With a BBQ planned later at her boyfriend’s house today, she appeared in her dressing gown with a look of horror on her face. She had run out of false tan!
An emergency dash to Asda sorted that one, and she was off again, pretending once again to be all independent and grown up.
Not actually Rebecca
Yet another milestone on the fast paced journey through life.
In other age related news, on Saturday I bought a quiche. Contained within its pastry base and cheese based filling were the essence of Radio 2 and the extract of tartan slippers.
My working week was beyond busy, and I didn’t get home on Friday until after 9pm, but it looks like we got done what needed to be done by hook or by crook, and I look forward to slightly less stressful weeks to come.
As I tweeted at one point last week, I do feel the need for a holiday, but I fear I will have to make do with a few days off at home. Having been hard at work without a break since last September even that will be very welcome. I just need someone to build a rollercoaster and an Applebees next door.
Enjoy your extra day off should you be lucky enough to have it, and I’ll see you back here next week for more savoury pastry chat. Don’t forget your tartan slippers.
Football isn’t a topic I cover here very often. This is because nobody can seem to discuss it on the internet without eventually turning into an arse. Besides, I’d always be right and everyone else would be wrong.
However, football has it seems come to the end of an era all of a sudden. I can’t remember so many retirements at one time, and it may take a while to sink in, but I don’t think many folk recognise the impact of all these eras that are about to end.
The likes of Beckham, Carragher, Scholes and Owen have been ever presents for what seems like forever, and they have all decided to call it a day at the same time. The fact that Fergie has joined in too means the new beginnings of next season are exciting, unknown and a breath of fresh air.
He isn’t going to Carra on
I know it is only football, but you only have to have watched Twitter this afternoon to see the impact it has on people. Condolences to all Spurs fans by the way.
We too are staring down the barrel of an ending era. Both Emily and Rebecca are due to leave their secondary school this summer. Emily has been there since 2006, and Rebecca 2008, and it will be strange to have no connection with the school that I went to all those years ago too.
The seemingly endless parent’s evenings, school trips, projects that are always started too late and all that homework that simply could only be done with a large chunk of parental involvement. It’s all coming to an end.
Maybe.
Rebecca is hoping to study Media Make Up and Hair at college so no doubt I’ll be using my enormous knowledge about hair to help with her course! Emily is preparing to apply to Disney for the year-long Cultural Representative Programme, and hoping not to need a Plan B should she not be lucky enough to be accepted. It’s going to be very competitive but we’ll see how it goes.
Neither her or Louise and I have completely reconciled how difficult it would be to have Emily live overseas on her own for a year!! However, Emily’s impending adulthood also brings home just how quickly things are moving along.
To counter that, I do find it endearing and touching how you only have to sit Emily in front of Les Miserables for a couple of hours to see the little girl in her pouring out of both eyes. It gets to her every time, and the blubbering is guaranteed.
By the way, as I type this, we are watching the DVD for the second time this weekend.
I was very pleased last week as both of the girls secured part-time work in the same bakery. Frankly, they are becoming a very expensive hobby, and with this little bit of cash they may be able to start to support themselves a little. They start next Saturday, and as grown up as they seem it does feel strange knowing that they will be out in the big wide world. There speaks an over protective Dad.
Rebecca appears to be developing some sort of WAG lifestyle, with false tan, hair products galore and more make up than a Kiss tribute act. Once she starts to pay for some of these out of her earnings it will be interesting to see what she does.
On a personal note this next week sees the conclusion of a major project at work, and I know you will be sick of me referencing it, but believe me not as sick as me. Don’t get me wrong I am enjoying what I do, but this has been a long road and I just want to see the smegger done and dusted now.
This weekend has flown by in a whirl of DIY, dog grooming and dodgy European singers. Yes, last night we all endured and enjoyed the Eurovision, and it was the usual mix of madness and pure crap. Still, it is odd yet strangely reassuring to think that as I was posting pithy and annoying crap all over Facebook, somewhere out there in Azerbaijan or Belarus there was another similar balding overweight forty something doing the same thing. What he would have made of Bonnie Tyler I will never know, as frankly I wasn’t sure either.
We’ve had a lovely change this weekend, and spent it away with friends in Yorkshire. Our frequent lenders of DVC points Steve and Di had us over to their house in North Yorkshire, and we have only just arrived home, tired, but mainly full after Di served us so much food over the weekend that I’ll be in one of my post Florida shirts for work tomorrow!
We have been totally spoilt, waited on like royalty, and had a lovely time around some of the loveliest countryside in the country.
After arriving on Saturday and being served Quesadillas, grilled goat’s cheese on french bread and a paklava so delicious that I almost passed out, we went out for a wander around Sutton Bank.
This is home to a gliding club, and we timed it perfectly to see one take off. We also experienced some of the craziest and strongest winds possible. We were literally being blown sideways for just a few minutes until it suddenly just passed, leaving us to continue the walk, taking some snaps along the way.
However, Emily beat my attempts with this one.
Having walked off a dozen or so calories it was back home for another meal. This time, it was a delicious spicy chicken curry, with perfectly cooked fluffy rice, and just to make sure we liked it we had some more paklava too.
Steve and I took Oli out for a late night wander up deserted country lanes, introducing him to sheep of various colours and sizes. None of which he was particularly keen on to be honest. He’s just a big coward really.
Full of fine food, beer and wine we all soon fell into bed.
Having Oli with us proved to be OK for most of the time, but when he started playing with his purple squeaky ball at 3am, nobody was amused. I was going to join in, but thought better of it and put mine away.
Having vowed never to eat again twelve short hours earlier, nobody can explain why we were then tucking into a huge full English breakfast at around 9am. Only just able to walk we boarded the car, and set off to feed some local donkeys that Steve and Di like to spoil on a regular basis.
They like polos!
That’ll do donkey
Next door to their field was Marmion Tower which we had a quick look around, but to be honest the stupidly low temperatures for May and the constant drizzle forced us back to the car sharpish.
We had a brief wander around a lovely town square in Masham, home to Black Sheep beer, bought Oli an ice cream cone, and then retreated to the warmth of the car once again.
After a short scenic drive through some lovely looking (but cold and wet) scenery, there was nothing else to do but eat again. Having put away enough to feed an army already this weekend, a light lunch was the sensible option.
Instead, we had a full Lamb Sunday dinner, with all the trimmings, followed by home-made Bread and Butter Pudding. I think you have put weight on simply by reading this blog.
At around 4pm we left Steve and Di in peace and made our way home, and once back over the Pennines the weather went up a good few notches on the crappy scale. We are all now lounging in various states of lethargy, and pretty much all in elasticated pants of one variety or another.
It has been so nice to do something different of a weekend, in what must be one the loveliest places in the country. The food wasn’t bad either!! We have been looked after fantastically and are just sad to be back in the real world again having to fend for ourselves!
I am off now to either vomit or start eating again….I’m not sure which yet.
It’s been a busy old week. A sure sign of a busy one is that it flashes by in the blink of an eye. I spent most of it doing something that has been the basis of my job for years now, and that is nerd herding.
Don’t for one second think that I use the term nerd in any sort of derogatory manner. I have a mixture of admiration and envy for those cleverer than myself who can make stuff appear on a computer from literally nothing more than a few strokes of the keyboard.
With this project (you know, the one you are sick of almost hearing about) reaching its crashing crescendo, I had the team of developers doing the actual work in the office with me for three days in an attempt to drag things over the line. They normally work down in the South West, and we communicate via email, web chat and telephone. Of course you cannot beat all being in the same room to get decisions made quickly.
There was an outstanding amount of stuff done, and lots and lots of hours worked, and not a lot of down time. Whilst I don’t do anything physical (aka real work) there is no doubt that working at this level of intensity can be exhausting. After such a week, on the end of a long, long project, it has proven difficult to draw a line under stuff for the weekend, and I’ve found myself working today, and thinking about all this stuff when I don’t want to be.
It will soon be over.
It won’t surprise you to know that I haven’t really done a great deal this weekend, for the second week on the trot. I did do the big shop, but that merely involved a laptop, some clicking and a bloke bringing stuff to the door.
Keeping the nerdy theme going, you would have to have been in a cave this weekend not to have seen some comedic genius posting some reference to “May the Fourth Be With You”. It’s a decent play on words, and has only lost its shine now that it has been used for the gabillionth time. Don’t let my cynical grumpiness distract us from the fact that this occasion looks to be a bloody marvelous thing to go to WDW for.
Through Twitter and more laterally You Tube, it has become clear to me that this is one of the things to add to my WDW wish list for the future. Top of that list of course is to get back there at all, at any time, but if we’re playing fantasy holidays then at some point in the future we’ll be there for this.
Handily, Rebecca has a birthday around this time (the 7th just so you know!), and we have already promised her that at some point in the future we shall be there for one of her birthdays. This won’t be for a while, mainly due to having less cash than a Greek banker, but also because schools and colleges tend to be in session at this time.
Once she is free from education, we’ll hopefully schedule a trip in May. Any excuse? Absolutely.
Why do I want to go? Lots of reasons, but just invest seven minutes or so watching this. For those of a geeky/nerd like persuasion the music alone is liable to cause arousal. Mix it with fireworks and WDW, and it’s like a cocktail of Viagra and rhino horn. Pass me my light saber!!
Extending the WDW theme, this week Emily is finishing up two of her A level photography projects. Ignoring the stress this introduces into the household, along with Rebecca’s twenty three pieces of GCSE coursework that are all due in the next four minutes, it also has introduced huge expense.
The cost of the backing card, endless photo prints, and of course the bloody mileage to take the photos, and it would be cheaper to just bribe the teacher for a decent grade.
Anyway, WDW was my point, and I shall get back to it. One of her projects was based on WDW, with her taking lots of photos on out last visit, and since returning she has taken many photos in Blackpool, the theme of the project being the contrast between the two.
There are far too many photos to post here, believe me, but this particular one is a good one, and she’s proud of it.
Magic Kingdom Castle
For someone who isn’t going any time soon I think I’ve done a good job of shoe horning WDW into this post, and not crying my eyes out whilst typing. Well, not a lot anyway.
I like where I work. Don’t get me wrong though, if I had the choice I’d rather not have a place to work, more a place to drink beer at the side of my Floridian pool in the lovely sunshine. But for as long as needs must the current place will do fine.
Having said that, this week I witnessed something that would strike fear and loathing into anyone’s heart. Whilst doing a nationwide tour of our different offices, we were blessed with some sunshine. By this I mean there was no snow, and I did not need twelve layers of clothes. So explain to me why then there were chaps in the office in flip-flops!
Myself and m’colleague (Steve) were delivering some training/a briefing on stuff, and had to continue our flawless delivery whilst confronted with white hairy legs (yep, they had shorts on too) topped off with flip-flops.
Put them away!
I am all for casual attire at work. Most days jeans are the order of the day, and on these balmy days that touched at least the mid sixties this week, I had a short-sleeved polo shirt on. I know, crazy right? But unless there is an abundance of sand or you are in a foreign country, flip-flops are hardly ever acceptable on a male, let alone in the workplace.
Maybe my aversion to these exposed body parts was driven by the exertion of the week’s extensive travelling, and the impending conclusion of this here project I’ve been working on since last September. As I drove home on Thursday night, I was metaphorically limping up the M6, dreaming of my own bed, and not having to give that same briefing again for a fifteenth time!
I collapsed into the weekend, grateful for its welcoming embrace. For the first time in ages, it has felt like a weekend too. This is because Louise’s placement has finished and she is now back in Uni for quite some time. This means the end to her shift work for now, and she is instead around at home. This in turn means that now Louise is not working all weekend I don’t have to do all the boring chores that she enjoys so much!
It has been so nice being able to relax a little, and today I have truly done hardly anything. Louise had the house tidy by the time the weekend started, I haven’t ironed or washed anything (other than myself, and that iron can sting a little), and Louise even made the tea tonight. Superb. To add joy to relaxation she also has a cheesecake in the oven as I type. I do not mean that I have shared my special seed again, I do mean that there is a cake with my name on it cooling in our oven.
So once I’ve done this, I’m taking Oli out and then reconnecting my backside with the chair for the rest of the evening. Next week, I am not away over night for the first time in about six weeks, and despite the continued stress of the project end, even that is looking like it might turn out alright.
Now don’t worry, you have not stumbled across the wrong blog. This is indeed a positive post. Make the most of it.
To add balance, I still don’t have a WDW trip booked, so things could always get better, but such is life.
So this sheep dog won’t walk himself. I’ll just put my flip-flops on and I’ll be off.
The rolling news this week has had the look and feel of a Tom Cruise film. I’ve been frustratingly busy, so haven’t caught too much of the detail, but Boston has looked like something you might find unbelievable if you saw the film.
I can only try to imagine what it felt like in those suburban towns in which this all unfolded. Surreal would probably be an understatement.
Despite having to fight the urge to wonder what possesses senior policemen in the US to wear such silly hats, this has been one of those world events that we will all remember for many years I am sure.
Where did you get that hat?
Having witnessed a “police incident” on one of our trips to the US, the sheer scale and awesomeness of the fire power deployed in Boston was not too surprising, despite it being to find one 19-year-old.
Of course, we don’t know the full details, and who is to know if these two are the only ones involved or not, and of course the police, FBI and everyone else involved couldn’t know what they are dealing with. Having seen the US police deploy a tank and SWAT team for a bank raid, I would imagine the resources currently sat in Boston could invade a fairly large country if they so wished.
This week has also shown how different things are now, in terms of reporting these types of events. Rolling news can be great of course when you want to watch events unfold live, but when you’ve seen the Uncle of these two suspects shout at the press in his weird accent for the seventeenth time this hour, you get the impression that there isn’t actually a lot to report.
Shouty shouty noise shout
The other big difference to events like these is of course that every observer can become a news reporter. We all have cameras in our pockets, handily attached to the internet, and this results in incredible images like this.
Just horrific
I know that this image is disturbing, and I apologise if you find it too much. If it were me, I would pin this picture on the wall of whatever institution the living suspect is being kept in. In fact, I’d make him meet this chap and look him in the eye.
Despite all the new developments in rolling news and images captured by observers, I imagine that this tragedy will fall into the same conspiracy theory category of 9/11, where we’ll all be looking at grainy images of weird goings on, and some no doubt will be certain that the two chaps held responsible were only part of a bigger master plan and organisation. To those killed and injured that will never matter.
Whenever I have to visit London, a tube journey now is never free from a wary glance around the carriage at my fellow passengers. No matter how hard I try though I just cannot imagine something actually happening like it did one July. I suppose I should be glad that I can’t!
Apologies for the sombre tone, but it felt wrong to be my usual glib self this week. The trouble is, every week there is some horror somewhere in the world like this, and I suppose it is only the level to which it is reported that affects the attention we give it.
I’ve added to the attention these idiots have received just by writing about it here, which is both annoying and sad.
All the kerfuffle over the last few weeks has brought quite a few new readers to these parts, so I sit here staring at the blank page all of a quiver at the extra pressure brought on by these newbies.
My regulars know and tolerate the quality to be expected here, so I merely wish to delay the disappointment of those brought here to read my ramblings. Here goes…
So last week saw me undertaking “executive travel” once again, with Tuesday in London, an overnight stay in the five-star, sorry I mean 0.5 star Prince of Wales in Marlow, and Wednesday in HQ in the same town.
As I’ve often said, I do appreciate London, in short doses and usually once back on the train with it shrinking into the distance. My meeting was in Piccadilly Circus, which as usual, saw this simple Northern Lad staring slack-jawed at the twinkly signs and all that stuff we only see on the telly. I did my best to avoid all eye contact on the tube, and to stand on the correct side of the escalators to avoid being mown down by some swarthy investment banker as he sweeps past on the way to his next bonus.
Like most northerners I assume that the streets of London are strewn with celebrities, and I often spot one or two in those brief few hours in which I enter and retreat SAS like from it’s smoggy grip.
Alas, this time, I only saw Gyles Brandreth. I was coming up out of the underground at Paddington to catch the train back to Marlow, and he was filming, I assume for The One Show. No doubt it was a twenty-minute piece on some crucial story such as who invented tin foil or the percentage of the population with a third nipple, as is the norm for The One Show.
Almost a celeb
I sauntered through shot all casual like, trying to act all blase, like getting on TV is something that happens every day. Do watch out for me on The One Show as I shall obviously feature heavily.
Our family of course are regulars on it!
The only other times I have appeared on TV were way back in earlier decades. Whilst working for Nat West, we “volunteered” to work on ITV’s telethon programme at Granada Studios in Manchester, and my legs and shoes appeared briefly on national TV behind Richard and Judy.
The other time was a close shave in more than way, as I was handing a drink to runners in the Bolton Marathon, and having spotted a camera, I risked life, limb and my childhood innocence by dashing through an army of runners to hand Jimmy Saville a drink. He was very gentle!
As claims to fame go, I suspect there are more impressive ones. Oh yes, I did also used to work with Howard Donald, from Take That…….’s cousin. I think I’ll stick with walking past Gyles Brandreth. Not something I would want as my epitaph or on my gravestone of course, unless someone wants to pay £10 million for my funeral in which case I would have a headstone that wouldn’t look out-of-place in Vegas.
I would never do politics here, but regardless of your views on our recently deceased ex leader, do we really need to spend £10m to put a box of skin and bone into the ground? I can think of better uses of that cash to be honest. I need a holiday for a start!
Friday night saw a rare night out for us (minus Rebecca of course who is constantly attached to her Tom). We went to the cinema, and it was one of those trips to the cinema which was more about having a night out, rather than seeing a particular film. In the end we decided upon Identity Thief, and it was better than I expected. It was, I thought, going to be another gross out comedy spawned by the Hangovers and Bridesmaids we’ve seen recently, and it was I suppose, but good all the same.
Better during a sugar coma
The trailers before the film though confirmed that Hollywood is struggling for an original thought, as Hangover III was shown, along with another trailer straight after that for what looked like a Hangover Junior, you know, a bit like S Club Juniors when S Club 7 were starting to implode in a haze of weight loss tablets and in fighting.
I forget what it was called, but basically the similarities leave me hoping that it is actually a spin-off, and not being passed off as a standalone effort. Don’t get me wrong I’ll be watching Hangover III, and of course Anchor Man 2, but I wonder if we’ve used up all the original ideas in the world. God knows, I’ve used the same seven gags in ten years of trip reports so I speak from authority.
Anyway, we enjoyed the film, and I went for the double trouble option of Ben & Jerrys and Pick n Mix. Sugar induced nausea adds to the enjoyment of any film, and when asked to pay for my snacks, it also gave me another better use of that £10 million we’re spending on a funeral!
I’m going to keep this short and sweet, as I am conscious that I have been very vocal virtually recently, and I need to give you all a break from me.
I will however thank you all again for your encouragement, support, purchases and patience with bad grammar and spelling with *that* book. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting when I thought of doing a book, but what has happened has certainly surpassed it. Just when I think I’ve seen the last of the purchases, more occur, and my ghasted is flabbered some more.
After the initial flurry of excitement and activity I now need to come up with ways to tackle the longer term push of the book without boring you all to death with constant tweets and posts about it. Once I’ve finished uploading my corrections that is!!
I have a very busy few weeks at work coming up with a massive project coming to its culmination, and I’m going to be away quite a bit too so it may have to wait until after that. I have also been giving some thought to what I do next writing wise. Of course I’d like my next bit of writing to be a trip report, but in the absence of that I may actually bite the bullet and force myself to have an original thought, and write something original and fictional.
We’ll see if that materialises.
So before I go back on my word and let this waffle continue, I shall leave you in peace. You probably have a book to read don’t you?
I just wanted to post a quick and simple thank you to anyone and everyone who took an interest, posted something or indeed bought my book.
I have been stunned at the support, encouragement and generosity of spirit of you all. At the risk of being sincere and serious for once, just thank you so much.
Yesterday was crazy. I just couldn’t keep up with the messages, tweets and posts, so if I missed anything from any body I apologise.
As I type, the book is number 1 on Amazon in the Family Travel category, number 4 in the Travel category and number 528 in the overall Kindle book category. It is hard to take that in really.
For those of you now reading the book, I apologise again for the grammar and spelling mistakes. Proof reading 350,000 words all on your ownsome is tough, as after a while you develop word blindness, and as I look through the book now on my tablet I see mistakes which drive me mad. I’m updating and correcting as quickly as I can and you may well get an alert from Amazon to get your hands on the update at some point.
For those who have reviewed the book, an extra thank you. Fourteen five-star reviews at the moment. Incredible.
So to stop me gushing any more I shall leave it there and get back to correcting stuff.
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