mkingdon – Page 21 – Mkingdon's Blog

Sunshine, Lollipops and a Westlife!

13/05/2012 by mkingdon, posted in dibb, mkingdon, Walt Disney World

This week has been full of shit. Pardon my French, but this statement is true in more than one way.

There comes a time when you get past annoyance, self-pity and a persecution complex and just resign yourself to being on the wrong end of life’s stick with brown stuff on it. Of course, my trials and tribulations are just normal day-to-day ones, and as ever I doff my virtual cap to those folk facing real problems in life.

So the week started with bad news on the house move front, which to cut a long story short simply cost us a load of money we were not expecting. Whilst a body blow, I suppose you always have to expect these things, and it will make life tougher for a while. I entered into an enormous sulk at this point as this is clearly what sensible mature chaps of my age should do in these circumstances.

As punishment that very evening I was stricken with an illness of a magnitude to match my immaturity. At around 4am on Wednesday morning I was awoken by a rebellion in my body. I then spent the next several hours doing my best to evacuate said rebellion from all and any orifice through which liquids could pass.

My body’s ability to surprise me in this regard is endless. Even in the strongest of wretches or strains at some level I was impressed with my body’s ability to expel something that it didn’t want in it.

Wednesday was therefore a complete write off. I should have been in Newcastle that day and the next, but I was just as likely to make it to the moon in the state I was in. Louise was concerned enough to phone the doctor, and I was even more concerned to hear that he would be coming out to see me, which immediately made me think my condition was a lot worse than even I thought!

He prodded a bit, from a distance, whilst telling me he’d seen an outbreak of these cases recently, and that I should live through it. With a couple of prescriptions left behind he made his exit and I continued to be a passenger to my body’s own exit strategy.

I spent Thursday at home too, having stopped ejecting stuff, but still unable to take anything more than water in either.

The days following have been interesting. I have mainly eaten toast, fearful of incurring the wrath of my innards again, and maybe this has led to a complete reversal of fortune in the bodily functions department. That issue persists, and although I have lost a pound or two, I suspect when that event comes to pass I may set a new Weightwatchers record for weight loss in one week. The need to “evacuate” is getting to a worrying point, and I am in desperate need of a Westlife, maybe even a Westlife and a half. If you don’t know what a Westlife is, well, all I will say is “four stools”.

westlife stools — I need a Westlife like you wouldn’t believe

Hmm, that was a much more detailed a description of this week than I had anticipated.

So back at work on Friday still not feeling terrific, Louise called me with the great news that I had a speeding ticket, from my last visit to Newcastle. Great, another £60 down the swanny. However, the Gods diddled on my chips a little more when I got home to read that in fact I had two fines…four minutes apart. Having taken a wrong turn, I had obviously been zapped going the wrong way, and then again four minutes later going back the right way! Both times I was eight miles an hour over the limit. How the plods must have chuckled.

At this point the only choice was to accept my fate, and resign myself to a spiritual shafting. This isn’t like me at all. I have a highly polished persecution complex, but I think it was just the fact that I could not comprehend all this crap at once, and have this weekend, been relatively sanguine about things. The alternative was that at some point over the weekend I’d be stepping over dead bodies loading a fresh clip. The fact that I have no idea how to load a clip was probably instrumental then!

Louise may tell you that I have had my moments though. Since selling the house, we have all been holding our collective breath that the house would stop breaking, and that it would remain standing until we complete. Don’t get me wrong, it is structurally fine, but the little things inside it seem to be on a mission to self destruct. We have had wooden trim come loose in the hall, and the upstairs shower came close to blowing up earlier today. Just a few more weeks house, that’s all I ask!

I do claim a small victory in one event this weekend. Randomly my key fob for the car stopped working for no reason this week. To get a dealer to fix that, and empty my empty ashtrays was looking like the wrong side of £100. However, armed with a new £1 battery, and google, I have successfully reprogrammed the bugger, and my jump in the air with full fist punch on the drive may have raised an eyebrow or two in the neighbourhood. I take my wins where I can.

To redress that balance, Emily is trying to print off her Photography coursework at the moment, and the printer and computer, who are obviously friends with the upstairs shower are playing up like you wouldn’t believe. I dislike computers a lot.

To distract myself from these horrors, I spent a little bit of Friday evening on some holiday planning. It may not surprise you to know that the focus was on eating. It dawned on me that we always eat at the same places, and whilst we still will do our favourites, I felt it was time to look for fresh fields. A bit of Dibbage with a sprinkle of Google led me to a couple of places that we will try.

orlando ale house — You’d better stock up!

Mannys seems to be a popular choice of lots of folk, so that is on “the planner” and having salivated all over my laptop at their menu, the Orlando Ale House is another that I have decreed that we shall try. The amount of pleasure taken from this planning activity is abnormally high, but there you go.

As Louise often tells me, I just need to “deal with stuff” so that is what I am doing. Hopefully, if there are swings and roundabouts the coming weeks will bring a few ups, and I don’t mean the contents of my stomach. Until then I am googling how to load that fresh clip.

Till the next time…..

Battles, Bruises and Baxter.

06/05/201206/05/2012 by mkingdon, posted in dibb, mkingdon, Walt Disney World

It’s been a bit of a week really.

I think both Louise and I feel pretty battered and bruised by the last seven days for different reasons. I have done a mini UK tour, taking in London on Tuesday, which is always a chore and never a pleasure, and then Newcastle over Wednesday and Thursday.

I always find traveling for work, especially when mixed with overnight stays tiring and laborious, especially when the venue for said overnight stay is the very glamorous Premier (you must pronounce it Pree-Meer) Inn.

After a one meeting jaunt to London on Tuesday I drove up to Newcastle on Wednesday morning to open our new office there. There was no gathering of local dignitaries unfortunately. The grand opening was pretty much just me, carrying a new PC, and our new starter. To his credit he settled in very quickly, and the two days passed without much incident.

One highlight of the stay was dinner with Steve, my ex-colleague, but thankfully not ex-friend. He was in Sunderland on that day so we had arranged to meet up. Every day is indeed a school day as when we came to order our pre-dinner drinks in the exclusive Pree-Meer Inn bar, the two Guinnesseseseses we ordered were served up from a tin, looking all flat and uninviting, but then they were placed on some contraption, in a little pool of water, and as if by magic, agitated into a fully fledged perfectly acceptable pint. It was as if I had just witnessed the invention of fire!

Food wise dinner was OK, but it was great to catch up with Steve, and I only rubbed it in a little bit about our recently booked trip. I have to be gentle with Steve as I never know when we will next need loan of some DVC points or a dog sitter!

Towards the end of dinner, we were delighted to hear the dulcet tones of the fire alarm. Of course everyone sat looking at each other for a good few minutes hoping to not have to move, but alas the staff ushered us outside. Now, up in Newcastle I am classed as a southern jessy, and I confirmed that status by coming close to death whilst stood outside in the sub-zero temperatures of an early May evening. It was bloody freezing, and of course being a resident of the hotel my nice warm coat was enjoying itself up in my room watching some channels it shouldn’t have been. Well, that’s my excuse for them appearing on the bill!

newcastle fire engine — It was too cold for snow!

Eventually, the fire engines came and went, and we were allowed back in to thaw out. Steve set off for home and I watched crap telly in my underpants. Don’t worry I did go to my own room first! It truly is a showbiz lifestyle I lead.

So there you have my bruising week. Whilst I was living the Vida Loca by the Tyne Louise was having all sorts of fun and games with the vendor of the house we are buying. This fun and games was made all the more interesting as she is “family”. I won’t go into details here, frankly as we are all now absolutely sick of talking and hearing about it. In summary the survey on our new house flagged some issues, and these had a material impact on the valuation the bank gave to the house, and in turn to the amount they would lend on it, and so began two days of heated debate about us trying to “rip her off” etc etc, when it was absolutely nothing to do with us.

That is the tip of that iceberg but it shall remained submerged here. All I will say is that you would not believe some of the goings on if I wrote them here anyway! Suffice to say, we ended the week in a position where we can progress, and the move is still on. This was not the case for some of the week, so it has been a bit of a roller coaster.

So we arrived at the weekend, thankful to hear the bell for the end of the fight, and for the extra day off, and needing a good sponge down, running repairs to a couple of cuts, and some words of wisdom from Buster Meredith. (He was in Rocky(s)) Excellent use of brackets there!

Holiday wise, there hasn’t been much time to drool over Disney websites or plan too much, but I did manage to book the minivan, and start to put a plan together. The plans so far involve a meet up with Jakki, Steve and the kids whose names I dare not try to spell. We have arranged a golf day for the men folk where Steve and I will be easily beaten by a man in his mid seventies. I love golfing in Florida! Then that same evening, the Cooper and Williams clans will convene at a suitable Applebees for feasting before invading Epcot for fireworks and frivolity.

The only other thing we’ve committed to do is return to Daytona to watch the Cubs play baseball whilst we eat!

The weekend so far still has not yielded too much time for Disney planning as we’ve been busy with other things. There is still tomorrow of course but that is Rebecca’s birthday, so much, no, all of her day will be spent readying herself for her birthday meal tomorrow evening with five friends, and Louise and I will be on taxi duty. I hope they eat well before they come!! Rebecca has a new outfit, shoes, jewellery and enough make up to keep the cast of Chicago going for months.

After spending this afternoon at a steam fair I shall be doing similarly exciting and sexy things tomorrow no doubt. Garden Centres, Stannah stairlift demonstrations and walk in bath showrooms will not be safe from me.

To be fair we had a nice afternoon at the Last Drop Village. We met up with Mum and Dad, and my brother and his wife, who took their dog Baxter. Much hilarity ensued as he and Oli spent about an hour chasing each other and playing like things possessed. I think they tired each other out so it has been a peaceful evening.

We entertained Louise’s Mum for tea, and then spent our evenings watching films we’d seen before or browsing the internet. Louise was looking at stuff we can’t afford for our new house, whereas Emily was watching YouTube videos of the Fantasyland expansion to see if anything new would be open when we go. Not much will be it seems, but my obsessive planning ways seem to have made it down the family tree well enough! My work here is done.

Speaking of which…

Till the next time…..

Man vs. Disney

29/04/201230/04/2012 by mkingdon, posted in dibb, mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Ding, ding!

In the blue corner, all the way from Pragmatic Town, in the county of Prudent is the challenger, “stay at home this summer”. In the red corner, from Rash Decision USA, is the reigning champion, with over ten years of victories under his belt, you all know him, it’s “sod it, we’re going no matter what the consequences!!”

In the battle outlined above, we have seen some very one-sided contests over the past eleven years, with the challenger, never really troubling the scorers. This year as you are all painfully aware has been a much closer fight. With a house move, to a house that needs work doing, me just two months into a new job, and Louise giving up work to take the easy option of becoming a nurse (I mean really get a proper job!), you can see how the odds were heavily stacked against the reigning champion.

The fight has been bloody and painful, with all of the family taking some real body blows from the realisation that defeat looked very much on the cards, and our summer would be more tent in the back garden than the Garden Grill. With Emily’s constant playing of Disney music at high volume, and Louise posting angst on Facebook most days, it has only been Rebecca and I that have managed to keep a lid on our feelings!

Out of the four of us I think I was bearing up the best, if you can imagine that, and I was hunkered down for a summer of work, crap weather, and not having to bother to lose weight! We have a house move to organise, and it was during some activity related to this that this week’s major news unfolded. Louise was clearing out the Narnia style wilderness that is our “under the stairs” ready for the move.

I was at work, working. I say that as in the past at this time of year, I would pretty much either be spending eight hours a day on flight websites, or if already booked, indulging in some other crucial planning activity. With no such pleasures to distract me, it was left to a text from Louise to do that.

Here is how the conversation went….

Louise Williams 19th April – 10:21am.

I want to go to Florida

Craig Williams 19th April – 10:21am

Me too!

Louise Williams 19th April – 10:22am

Well pull your finger out and make it happen

Craig Williams 19th April 10:30am

Oh I can make it happen no problem. Are you OK living in a tent?

Louise Williams 19th April 10:30am

Blah

Louise Williams 19th April 10:33am

Still tempted though! How can we make it happen then?

Craig Williams 19th April 10:40am

OK, it’s booked!

Louise Williams 19th April 10:41am

Don’t joke. I’m not joking, all I need you to say is sod it, let’s go in August.

Louise Williams 19th April 10:45am

Stop working and pay attention to me!!

Louise Williams 19th April 10:59am

DON’T IGNORE ME!

Craig Williams 19th April 11:07am

I was having a (word removed for decency purposes)

Louise Williams 19th April 11:10am

So?

Craig Williams 19th April 11:11am

I’m looking at flights!

So you can see the terrific fight I put up there. From there, began several days of deeper, more intelligent conversations about how we could manage to go, once I’d discovered that flights were indeed bloody expensive, and some of those conversations were even done face to face rather than text!

I can confirm that I did use up all of the internet for those few days, and if a website was capable of spitting out a flight price to Florida, I was on it, completing a spreadsheet with every conceivable permutation of dates. This in itself was complicated enough. With Louise starting Uni, but having not yet started (at the time) we were not sure of what her holiday dates would be. We had to wait several days to get absolute clarity on that.

Then the logistics of going away on holiday when you are stupid enough to have three cats and a dog is something similar to organising the D-Day landings, especially when all the family members likely to do pet sitting duties had the nerve to have booked a trip to France right in the middle of the dates we had in mind. This thought process and the asking, leading to begging took a few further days too.

Once Louise had her dates confirmed, and we knew the extent of the costs, we were down to the nitty-gritty of actually doing something about it. Louise’s confirmed holiday dates did at least help us slightly with animal fostering as they were after the return of my Mum & Dad, and Emily’s friends return from her holiday who we had volunteered to feed our cats. I told you this was complex.

At this point I called my Dad to ask him if he’d like to adopt some form of pet for a while this summer, as now we were looking to leave the day after he got back from France…unless, I said, you want to turn right around and come with us? Never for a second thinking that they would consider or afford that. To cut that part of the story shorter, that evening my Mum & Dad came to our house to have a chat about it, and within around seven minutes of them arriving, we had booked the flights. Honestly, my Dad has less will power than I do in these matters!

So there you have a brief summary of what has been around a week of stressful searching, organising and strategising.

Now I am sure many of you are wondering if we have sacks of money lay under the bed. If you had seen our bed and the age of it, you would know that is not the case. What I have outlined above is purely the undeniable tractor beam that is WDW and Florida working its magic once again. Over the years we have sacrificed many things to get there, and this time our sacrifice is that the work that needs doing on our new house will be undertaken, in the main, by us, (and my brother and my Dad, but they don’t know that yet) rather than taking the easy option and throwing lots of money at someone to take the pain away!

Anyone that knows my views on DIY will know the level of sacrifice this represents for me. It is one step down from losing one of the twins! Speaking of which, Oli lost both this week, and has hardly blinked or even noticed. But I digress. This is a WDW only zone this week.

So finally we get to the details of this upcoming trip. With Louise fairly and squarely now to blame for two things –

Booking this holiday
Not doing Disney at all last year, and then halfway into the holiday announcing that she missed it. How we laughed!

I can assure you all that the ONLY thing we will be doing this year is Disney, in terms of theme parks anyway. It also helps keep the costs down.

Our flights were OK, price wise, when compared to the majority of flights I had seen in horror, for most of my searching. We ended up paying £598 each for indirect flights on the 19th of August. I had spent far longer than was healthy on the internet looking for flights, but ironically, we booked off-line through a company my Mum found with one Google search, Fly and Save. Other than them having the right badges on their website, I suspect they operate out of a shed somewhere on the outskirts of Walthamstow. Until I had the confirmation number and was able to select our seats on the Delta site I was mildly concerned that our cash was being laundered through the Eastern Bloc, but it seems all is in order after all.

Accommodation wise, simplicity is the key this year. In past years we have done all sorts of multiple moves, and enjoyed them, but this year it is one villa, for the two weeks, no messing about. Again, costs being a factor too. We have chosen a lovely looking four bedroom villa on Silver Creek, off of the Dibb of course.

You can have a look here….

2012 villa — Our house, in the middle of our street...for 2 weeks...

The minivan is booked, and we’ll sort out park tickets much nearer the time. We’re also going to go back to Daytona, to watch the Daytona Cubs baseball team. We might tie that in with a drive up to St Augustine, I’m not sure yet.

No matter, the facts are that we’re booked, we have some vague plan for paying for stuff, and all the animals are housed for the duration! Hurrah!

Phew, it has been a right old-time. Add to that, a house move, a new job, two teenage daughters, too many animals, and if I don’t have a heart attack before I’m 50, I deserve a medal.

So I can now settle into a few months of planning, spreadsheet writing and most importantly some Disney food porn. It is half the fun of these things, but hey, if you’re reading this you probably know that anyway.

So if you are still with me after what has turned into a long, long blogathon, well done. You have witnessed first hand the absolute power of Florida and more specifically WDW. It is so powerful that it has now infected Louise, who just a few short years ago would want to do silly things like decorate the house or re-do the kitchen before booking such a holiday. Now, we just have to do both!! Fair enough.

Let the countdown, and the diet begin. Since booking I keep getting little jolts of excitement as I remember something we can do, now that we’re going, that I had safely locked away in the “don’t remember that, it’s too painful” part of my brain. In that list so far…..

A kitchen sink
Jellyrolls
A long list of restaurants
Baseball

and the rest are pretty much food related.

The adventure begins, and this time, we’re taking the parents!!!

Till the next time….

Sad news and a very brief blog.

22/04/201222/04/2012 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

A week is a long time in bloggage. I was writing of our pain last week and this pain endures, but it now rests in the context it deserves due to the events of today.

It is proving hard to get into the flow of this week’s stuff for any sort of blog post, as we had some sad news this morning, with a bereavement in the family. This isn’t the place for details of course, but we had a dash up to the hospital this morning where Louise’s cousin hard passed away.

It was a surreal experience, and one that makes the pithy nature of these blog entries a little irrelevant. So I’ll keep this brief if you don’t mind. I will attempt a mid week update, should I have anything of note to report on the week’s events, but until then I shall respectfully draw this to a close.

Should you be looking for reading material, you can always head over to WDW Dads and catch up on quite a few new articles from the past few weeks, and I will be back with you in full moany sarcastic mode asap.

Till the next time…..

A week of pain, and I don’t mean the piercings.

15/04/201215/04/2012 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

We are a family in pain. We are in a bad way, with high levels of suffering. What is the cause? Severe WDW withdrawal symptoms!!

I have Louise posting on Facebook roughly every seven seconds about how hard she is finding the fact that we aren’t going, and I have Emily, listening to Spectromagic on repeat on her iPod and Rebecca joined in the self-inflicted pain by sitting with Emily at the iPad watching WDW parades this evening.

Me? I am coping admirably, and I don’t think about it much at all really. I would say there are several seconds in each day where the thought of going on holiday does not cross my mind.

It does not help that I have two cyber friends fully immersed in Disney-dom with @tweetwizzo tweeting about ten times a minute whilst on his fourteenth trip in eighteen months, and Gordon in full planning mode, clogging up my twitter and Facebook timeline with WDW footwear conundrums and questions about dining options. Thanks chaps!

I have to admit that I have spent some part of today on websites related to the booking of such trips. We ABSOLUTELY cannot afford one, and it is only the fact that I want to eat in the coming months that I have not followed this searching with some plastic damage. Louise wants to go more than I do….so she says….but I think I just hide it better to be honest.

With a house move this summer, and then once moved, quite a bit of work to do to the house to make it acceptable, I have to save all my available credit card balances for that, and not squander them as usual on a trip to the States. Now, of course there is always Christmas…….stop it, and more importantly, stop me before I do something stupid!!

Speaking of the house move, things have kicked off, and I spent most of today filling out endless paperwork, and sending off pretty much every important document I possess to prove that I work, earn, exist and live as I claim I do. It is complex stuff this house move business, and I expect many a twist and turn before we eat that traditional take away amidst unpacked boxes on our first evening in the new place.

Planning a house move is substantially less fun than planning a trip to Florida. The costs are pretty similar, but the levels of resentment attached are just not in the same ball park. I can justify any cost attached to WDW, but paying some legal bloke a few hundred quid to check there isn’t an open mine shaft under my new house is just throwing money out of the window to be honest.

So with much expense to bear in the coming months if at any time you see me near a computer, all misty eyed, credit card in hand, please do the decent thing and stop me. I’m either just about to book a trip I can’t finance or I’m on one of those websites that require a credit card to proceed, and neither will lead to long-term happiness. Both give short-term relief to certain problems of course, and you do only live once!!

In other news, Louise became unemployed on Friday, leaving her steady regularly paid employment to become a student again. She has immediately bought three Smiths albums, some weed and two dozen pot noodles. On the plus side she won’t need to shower or wash her clothes for three years so that should save some cash!

This new lifestyle has also driven her to include the kids in this new hippy student lifestyle. Despite me putting my foot down and insisting it would NOT happen, both the girls had their noses pierced this week.

emily nose pierce — I nose this will be trouble

I enjoy my position of ultimate authority in our house. I have absolute power of veto as log as Louise agrees with the decision. In my experience, one out of two of every piercings goes wrong in some way, and involves yet more expense for lotions, creams, antibiotics or trips to the doctor, and this time my money is on Emily. Call it fatherly intuition.

So with three students in the house now, I expect to come home to a smoke-filled house, with three females suffering the munchies and searching through last week’s dirty washing to find something they can wear inside out. If we don’t own at least one Levellers album in the coming months I will be astonished.

So we plod on, holiday-less and hopeless, suffering the intense pain of absolute WDW cold turkey. Should any of you have a pot of money you aren’t using, and feel the need to donate us a trip, I would be delighted to accept, and even name the trip report after you. I have a minimal amount of pride I can assure you.

Someone please end this pain…..

Till the next time……

Cut, Thrust, Stab.

08/04/2012 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

It has been a week of offers, counter offers, industrial espionage and daring do, of the likes not seen since Gordon Gekko bought a new pair of braces. Yes, that’s right, we have been embroiled in the cut and thrust of property sales and purchases this week.

Following our viewing last Sunday, the working week began with an offer, the obligatory derisory sneer from us at such an offer, and from there a spiral of further offers, poker faces and letting folk sweat, until at some time on Wednesday we received an asking price offer. This is not the glorious victory it may sound like as we had reduced said asking price by a chunk in previous weeks, however, a win is a win as they say.

We were glad our viewers were able to get there financially as they were lovely, and we will be delighted, should the next couple of rocky months deliver us closure, to see them live in “our house”.

For our part, we have had our house picked out for, well, a couple of decades really. The house we want has been in Louise’s family for nearly thirty years, and my Mum and Dad have lived next door to it since 1984, so we are quite familiar with it. We offered, and it was accepted. All very painless really, mainly as we’d agreed the price with Louise’s family member up front, but again, I’ll take a win where it comes.

Following the abject horror of discovering the full extent of the legal costs in simply buying some bricks and roof, I recovered enough to instruct someone to handle it. For the prices involved, I expect him to rebuild it brick by boring brick to ensure it is fit for purpose. The bank have agreed the mortgage in principle, that principle being that I will continue to be their bitch until I am close to death, and so we have the wheels in motion.

So with all that admin and faff complete literally by 5.30pm on Thursday, we could no more as Easter arrived to shut everyone down. Whether we now wait six weeks or twenty-six, is now in the hands of a lawyer I found on the internet and some call centre mortgage clerk just outside of Birmingham.

To celebrate spending large amounts of money, Louise and I went out on Friday night to, quite aptly, TGI Fridays. It is the closest dining experience to the US we have in the UK, whilst at the same time being so far away from it, as to remind you why you want to go back so much! Upon arrival, it was busy, and we were handed a vibrator and told to go to the bar. I’ve heard about these types of drinking establishment, but haven’t yet visited one.

A tenner’s worth of wine and diet coke later, and we are soon seated. The food is good, there is no denying, although the waiters all seem a little forced, rather than the natural good moods and charm of their US brethren. However, as I drove home on the receiving end of Cheesy Nachos, a Chicken Fajita Salad and Cookie Dough Cheesecake, I certainly felt full enough to imagine I had just eaten US style. The only difference being that on holiday in the US, I would be doing all that again within a matter of hours.

The long weekend is doing us nicely, with not a lot going on beyond planning stuff for the (hopefully) new house, with even the girls getting quite excited about the prospect of their new rooms, and the sheer volume of expensive tat that they can procure to, as Louis Walsh might say, make it their own.

Every year, pre Easter, our house echoes with the cries of “Girls, you’re not going to get as many eggs this year as you are too old now”. This is all in vain, as now, there is so much chocolate in the house, I’ve had to hire a couple of oompa loompas to stock pile it. We usually find a couple of Emily’s eggs down the back of her wardrobe just before Christmas, whereas if Rebecca’s make it to Tuesday that will be a new record! Dad might just have to help out a little I suppose!

Before I get back to my restful long weekend, I need to express my thanks for everyone who has taken the time to “Like Me”. This is not an outward expression of my neediness, no, I keep that to myself mostly, but more a recognition of all those who gave a toss enough to get over to Facebook and like my new Mkingdon page. I still don’t know really what will happen there, but we seem to have had fun this week??

Finally, we’ve had a make over here at mkingdon.com. I don’t mean that I have parted my hair on a different side, although I might! Instead, I have changed the look and feel of this here blog, as it had been the same for ages. I hope you like it, but if it gets the same sort of reaction that a change to Facebook gets I expect to receive the parcels of dog poo through the letter box shortly. The internet is odd like that.

I hope you all enjoy the break and love eggs. Wait, no, love eggs is something altogether different and in no way related to Jesus. Still, whatever floats your boat.

Till the next time……

You, Me, A Fence and some birthdays at Six

01/04/201201/04/2012 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Greetings all. It has been a week more hectic than a hectic thing, and I feel like I have not come up for air until about now. The week at work was just stupidly busy, and on top of that at home we had numerous birthdays to celebrate and events to attend.

On Wednesday it was Louise’s birthday, and she was greeted upon waking by me in my underpants, two sleepy teenagers, a card and a present. That sounds like an extract from Russell Brand’s autobiography, but really is was quite normal for birthdays in our house. Louise did a decent job of concealing her underwhelmedness at unwrapping a couple of books rather than the state of the art laptop she really wanted.

The books were relevant if not exciting as they are related to her impending studies. Yes, two books on how to mop up blood, sick and poop should cover everything the modern nurse needs!! It was not until much later in the day when she received the second part of her gift package at work that I felt better about the level of presentage.

Later that evening, all four of us ventured out to Mr Fu’s for a slap up meal. I don’t know what makes a meal slap up, but I think ours was up on the slapped front. We over ordered majestically, felt so full that vomiting was seen as a route to relief, and enjoyed the doggy bag left overs for tea on Thursday night too.

Wednesday also saw our nephew George turn six, so we popped round to give him his present after our meal, and as all six-year olds should be on their birthday he was still up, full of cake, excitement and pick and mix. He’d had a good day.

Thursday brought with it another family birthday, with my niece turning 21. You may remember we attended her party recently? Thursday also brought the taxi duties involved in the girls attending a gig. Luckily Thursday is Louise’s day off, so she was able to deliver them to the Manchester Apollo about eight hours before the gig so the girls could wait to catch a glimpse of the band as they arrived. Eight hours on a pavement to see half a beanie hat and a silly fringe through a crowd is commitment. The band in question? Youmeatsix.

Youmeatsix — What do you mean you haven't heard of us??

I of course was on pick up duty, and by the time I got to them around 11pm, they were ready to start eating parts of the car, having not eaten since lunch, so a stop at the Golden Arches was in order on the way back. Still full from two chineses, I refrained. I am not a monster!

So after a manic week at work, signalled by my almost complete absence from any form of social media, what I obviously needed was to spend the weekend relaxing and doing something I love. With that in mind, I have been painting a fence for two days!!! I did not, until this weekend, appreciate the sheer level of fenceage that we possess. I have also realised that every single one of these spray your fence in six seconds contraptions is a f*%king con. I tried two different ones and they were both bobbins. In the end I resorted to the brush and good old-fashioned elbow grease.

The reason for the painting was another viewer for our house today. Our last viewers did come back with an offer, which I am still chuckling at, and then a second one, less ridiculous, but still not tempting enough so they bowed out of the process as they could afford no more. Fair enough. Our viewers today were a young family, who brought their young son, and their parents so we had five folks trailing round the house for what seemed like an age. We have taken this as a good sign, as even after they left the house, they stood at their car looking back at it and pointing at stuff. Either the roof is about to fall in and we haven’t noticed or they like the house.

We shall see what derisory figure they may pluck from the air.

If we can make the figures work, then we do have a house in mind. It isn’t far from where we live now, but it is crucially very close to the girl’s school, which will make our lives a lot simpler as it will be walkable for them, and, it is actually next door to my Mum & Dad, and literally a one minute walk from Louise’s Mum. My brother also lives a stone’s throw away, so it will be a complete Williams zone. There is a long way to go until this plan comes together so I am remaining quite cynical about the whole thing, and assuming it won’t happen. Louise on the other hand has pretty much moved in, picked out a new fireplace, and no doubt several wallpapers.

Before I go, I thought I’d let you know that I have set up a Facebook page for Mkingdon! I know, I know that sounds so far up my own arse that I’m coming out the top of my head, but bear with me. I have no idea if it will work, be of any use to me, or of any interest to anyone else, but I thought I’d give it a go really just to see how these things work. I intend to use it to post stuff I write on this blog, and the stuff I do for WDW Dads. I may get bored with this very quickly, as I am reaching social media overload.

I have called it MkingdonWDW, as I do intend to write more stuff about WDW in future. If I can’t go there, I’m gonna write about it instead. I know you love these banal updates on fences, dog haircuts and family events, so I shall try to get the balance right!!

If you feel interested or sympathetic then please visit my Page and give me a Like. This matters it would appear, and if I get over 30, then special things happen. I think Mark Zuckerburg visits my house with a commemorative plaque.

Till the next time…..

A Right Royal Driveby

25/03/201220/06/2021 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Oli

I met the Queen this week. She came to Manchester on Friday to see me. See….

Admittedly our conversation was brief and a little one-sided, but we’re both busy people! In case you are wondering, yes there is writing all over the windows. It is highly technical gubbins that I draw on the windows to reinforce the perception that I understand what I am doing. Little do they know I copy it all from Google!

So it is pretty tough to top a visit from Royalty, but there is more important news to report. I have been ill!! Yes, I know you will all be shocked, worried and guilty that you were not on hand to nurse me back to health. That honour fell to Louise. I completely missed Saturday in a blur of bed, dizziness, escaping liquids and Murder She Wrote. The latter was the worst. I was simply too weak and frail to raise the remote and turn the channel!

I have rallied somewhat today, and appear to be somewhere close to match fitness, having just eaten my first meal since Friday night. You will appreciate now the severity of my condition if it kept me away from food for almost 48 hours! I hope it only increases your guilt.

Before I was struck down so cruelly by this life threatening condition last week I did manage to write a new article for the WDW Dads site. It covers (some of) my tip-top tips for a visit to WDW. All of you buggers with a trip booked should have a read on the off-chance I haven’t bored you with them already. The pain I went through to write that, knowing a trip for us is anything but imminent was unimaginable. My hankering for the place is physically painful.

So being as weak as a kitten today, I haven’t done a great deal. I have enjoyed the sunshine, and I’m told it was sunny yesterday too, but all I saw was the inside of our blinds, the toilet bowl and Angela Lansbury. Right there is one rock and roll sounding party.

Whilst sat out in the garden today, Louise and I casually arranged the weddings of both the girls. Don’t worry, you haven’t missed the arrival of new boys into their lives and a proposal each this week. We were just planning ahead. It will not surprise you to know that both girls WILL be getting married in Florida. We checked that this would be OK with Rebecca, and she said yes. We did ask her about her future husband, and what if he had no desire to get married there. I can only tell you that he doesn’t know what he’s letting himself in for, and he’d better like Mickey Mouse!

Those of you who are foolish enough to have anything to do with me on Facebook or Twitter will have no doubt seen that Oli has been to the barbers this week. He did look cute with the long hair, but he was getting a bit luggy and also quite warm, so we took the chance to get him his first close crop. He did not enjoy the experience one bit, and the lady doing the deed no doubt earned every single penny of her fee.

He went from this…

To this…..

Oli haircut — The expression says it all

It has been like having a different dog, and it is only his well-known habits, and the look in his eyes that has convinced us we got Oli back. We’re so glad we had him done though as he would not have survived this mini heat wave over the weekend.

So all this typing has drained my fragile energy levels, and I need to go and lie down in a room that does not contain Angela Lansbury.

Till the next time….

There’s a scum on my decking what am I gonna do?

18/03/201222/03/2012 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

It’s been a bit of a busy week. During the week, work took me to Newcastle on Friday. I was viewing office space and potential staff members for what will be the North Eastern part of our empire. Both elements were successful, and with the opening of that office in a few weeks, I’ll be spending at least a day a week up there. It could be worse of course, it could be Central London!

In other news, we have had an actual viewer for the house. You may have forgotten that we are up for sale, as we’ve had absolutely no news at all in that regard for many weeks. Not only have we had one viewing, they only went and came back today for a second one! Never in the history of Williams kind has our house been as tidy as it was on those occasions. They seem keen enough, asking lots of probing questions, and no doubt noticing all those things that we really should have upgraded, replaced, painted or improved, but we instead went on holiday.

I showed them the holiday pictures instead, so we’ll see if that helps!

Who knows what happens now. We await a call from the agent to justify their football agent style fee tomorrow.

The second view was to be in broad daylight, and this meant they would be able to see the full horror of the back garden, which no human has set foot in since about October last year. Drastic measures were called for, and so my Saturday was taken up by blasting scum off the decking. It took an age and all the use from my right hand (from trigger pulling on the jet wash….get your mind out of the gutter!) to get the decking to state where you don’t have to wear ice skates to make it across in one piece. It does tend to get a little mossy after six months of shite weather.

I even debarricaded the outdoor furniture from beneath the winter coat of tarpaulin and gave that a jet wash within an inch of its life. By Sunday, and that all important second visit, our outside space looked almost like something from a house where someone hasn’t pissed away every spare penny on flights, villas and food. It was almost worth the agony and stiffness I am enduring today.

On a more pleasant note, Saturday evening saw us out on the tiles. We were at a family do to celebrate my niece’s 21st birthday. This fact has officially confirmed that I am now 97 years old. I was 20 when she was born, and at the party last night, my brother and sister-in-law had laid out lots of old photos of Sarah, which I thought were taken yesterday, but it would appear that is not the case.

Prep for the party started at around 4pm in our house, and looked like this. I joined in with about twelve minutes to go before departure.

rebecca prep party — Four hours pre-party

and resulted in this….

We had a really lovely evening, and Sarah was overcome by her present which was a trip to New York for her and her boyfriend. This was presented in a lovely speech from her Mum that even had Emily and Rebecca in tears at the end.

sarah's 21st cake — Sarah's birthday cake

We sloped off at 12.30, tired and full of Guinness (that last bit might just have been me) but I believe the festivities went on until 4.30am!! When we did leave, we were carrying, high above our heads, the glorious prizes, and smug satisfaction only awarded to those who win the quiz. A quiz fittingly all about 1991 was held, and our team won. I say team, I more or less single-handedly defeated all comers, mainly as I knew what was Number One on the day of Sarah’s birth. (Chesney Hawkes, in case you were wondering). Nothing improves an evening more than the sweet smell of victory, and the easter eggs awarded as prizes.

The other major news this week is that Louise has resigned from her job. I know, I know. How anyone could give up a job that involves handling boobs all day is a mystery, but she has had enough of it. She leaves in four weeks to return to University to train to be a nurse. This of course has been on the cards for some time, but under wraps until her place on the course, and the informing of work were done. This dear readers is the one of the reasons why we shall not be jetting off to anywhere close to Florida this year, unless my balls drop. Lottery, not the twins.

Today, once our viewing was done, has been a relaxed affair as we are all feeling the effects, to varying degrees of last night and a very busy weekend of chores. I popped round to my Mum’s with present and card, returned home to watch half of The Help (Louise’s mother’s day gift “from the girls”) some footy, and then prepared and ate one of the largest Sunday roasts known to man. I sit typing this now, in the discomfort and glow of an overly full stomach, and the mild concern that with all that Guinness and today’s eating, I’ll be attending work with my shirt unbuttoned to the waist to avoid discomfort.

So, who knows what the coming days will bring. An offer on the house? Maybe. The start of the living hell of actually then having to move house. Who knows? The need to diet to avoid the next notch on the belt? Absolutely!!

Whatever it is, I’ll waffle about it here so…

Till the next time…..

Entertaining Wees and Some Cold Turkey!

11/03/2012 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Regular readers know that on the odd occasion that I have to go to London, I do so with a heavy heart and a desire to get in and out as quickly as possible. Last week was no different. It was the first journey to the capital with the new company, and so had added elements of dread as I am still very much in the zone of trying not to look like a right tit as much as is possible.

Upon reaching London I do go a bit touristy to be honest, and with a new company comes a new office venue, and this one in the heart of the West End. As you might imagine, the streets in this part of London, are filled with hundreds of theatre types dancing on top of taxis in pink leg warmers, the dancers in leg warmers, not the taxis! We stopped for a £7 coffee in Haymarket, and had to wait ages for Bob Hoskins, Julie Walters and Robert De Niro to decide whether they wanted a croissant or a skinny muffin.

So having walked with slack jaw past Eros, those large boards with Coke on that you see on the telly (and I don’t mean Frankie Cocozza’s dressing table) and a myriad of theatres I got to the offices and proceeded to blag my way through a series of meetings, nodding when everyone else did, and somehow fumbling my way through a presentation or two.

The reason for all this pre-amble is that during a break in proceedings I had a wee, and I think it may be a contender for an award for The Wee with the Best View in Britain!

These are the perks of working in the heart of the capital I imagine. A nice as it is to look at the London Eye whilst peeing all over your shoes, it does not (for me) make the daily use of the tube anything like bearable. I am much happier sat in first gear for an hour traveling the twelve miles or so to the office!!

So the day was pretty much a success, as the meetings went well and I was back home before 8pm.

The highlight of the day, without doubt though was the phone call I got from Emily on the way down. She was due to pick up her GCSE results for her Maths re-take. Having inherited the Williams aversion to Maths, she too did not pass it first time around. This is a family tradition, and having retook it recently she had not exuded confidence about passing this time either. I do admit to being a little nervy for the first hour of the journey, whist trying to engage in jaunty badinage with the boss next to me, but once she’d called the trip seemed a little more bearable all round.

Thankfully, her call to me was a joyous one, as she had passed, and we were all absolutely delighted. Having mastered algebra and isosceles triangles she can now forget them forever and just wave her certificate at employers.

One downside of the journey down south was that I missed Rebecca perform in her GCSE Dance group that evening. One of the very few school performances I have missed since they started being sheep in the nativity in nursery! She did very well according to Louise, as a zebra! I imagine it very similar to the Lion King Show in the Animal Kingdom!

The rest of the week was relatively uneventful, my Mum’s birthday aside today. We popped round with a present and a card, and I spent a comfy hour in the restful grip of my Dad’s brand new “ladyboy” chair. Only the die hard long standing trip report readers amongst you may get that reference!!

We are now in the full maelstrom of March which is officially the busiest and most expensive month of the year in the world of Williams. It contains four family birthdays and three Mother’s days. Yes that’s three. My Mum of course, Louise’s Mum and Louise. As grown up as the girls are they still seem incapable of finding their way to a shop and procuring their Mum a pressie.

In other news, I, no we, as I include Louise in this, are in the full grip of WDW cold turkey. Like the full-blown addiction it is, we are metaphorically rocking ourselves slowly in the corner, quietly whispering random words such as Philharmagic, Applebees, Epcot, and overdraft. I cannot lie to you, we have both this week spent time on websites that contain flight searches. This has not helped, and in fact only reinforced how much we cannot afford to go this year. This makes me sad, in more ways than one.

So our house is like some scene from Trainspotting, but the train in question circles the Magic Kingdom. I made the very big mistake earlier this week of re-reading one of my trip reports as someone had just commented on it. In light of the coldness of my turkey, this was not a wise thing to do. It did reinforce my thinking that the writing of these trip reports is well worth the effort at the time, as reading them some years later really does allow you to transport yourself to the exact time and place. Let’s face it, that’s a lot cheaper than paying for flights.

Till the next time…..

Spring has sprung and inevitable events.

04/03/2012 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Oli

It is always nice to get comments to these posts, and last week I was inundated with a comment, expressing a view that there haven’t been any Oli pictures and videos recently.

It is a difficult one, to know what to drone on about here. Having said that, I seem to have managed to drone about work for the last few posts (I won’t this week!) so I thought I’d share some recent pictures. For fans of Oli, I can point you in the direction of Pinterest, which is the latest social media site which has appeared to add to the collection of sites that are a distraction from doing anything productive. On Pinterest I have a board dedicated to Oli, so if you are feeling the need for a fix of smelly mammoth, that’s your destination.

Anyway, here come the pics….

Oli — Yesterday after I walked him (again)

So there you go with your Oli fix. He’s still behaving himself, unless you happen to be a cat, in which case he is constantly making every waking second a living hell.

There has been a distinct change in the weather over the past week, with the actual appearance of the sun. Granted, it is still freezing, and there has been some snow in parts of the country, but actual sunshine has an immediate effect on the country and certainly me. I am self diagnosed with SAD, so the dark cold winter months are not my favourite times, so at the first glimpse of the yellow round thing, inevitable events happen.

These events mean, unfortunately, that I immediately drop into “I want a holiday” mode, and my fingers are drawn inexorably to the keyboard, whereby I find them typing in letters such as K A Y A K. This is NOT a good thing. It matters not that I know we can’t go this summer, it simply cannot stop me trying endless configurations of flights, eventually even those via the Ukraine, in the hope of an Easyjet style price for a Trans Atlantic journey.

I also start to make other internet journeys, watching videos of the parks, and drooling over resorts and their fine dining menus. This really is bordering upon an illness.

This is not one of my usual posts were I moan about flight prices, and then two posts later you discover in a flurry of gloating and guilt that I have booked anyway. Alas,unexpected inheritances from long lost relatives or lottery wins aside, we REALLY will not be going this year. Really, I mean it!

This makes me sad. I miss Florida, and I am truly sorry that we won’t be going on one of our adventures this year. There is nothing that beats the thrill and excitement of that early morning at the airport on your way to WDW, when everyone is full of excitement, anticipation and over priced airport food. The world is literally your lobster as the days ahead of you shine as brightly as your brand new white trainers with endless possibilities and about one million calories.

So as much as I accept our fate, I don’t have to like it! There will be times a plenty in the future to get over there, and I assure you, we’ll be there as soon as is humanly possible, if not sooner.

I don’t know if we’ll go somewhere else instead to be honest. This is for two reasons –

I cannot summon any enthusiasm for other destinations
I begrudge spending any cash on other destinations as it means we can’t use that cash to go where I want to go.

Hey ho, musn’t grumble and all that. There are many worse off than us, who have never experienced the holidays we have, and probably aren’t likely to. I understand that, but I still want to lie on the floor and kick and scream until I’m sick.

The week ahead has a trip to London in store on Wednesday, and as the streets there are paved with gold, I’ll just dig up a couple of blocks and that should sort us out for the holiday we want!

Till the next time….

Winning Reds and A Woman in Black

26/02/201226/02/2012 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

It has been a traumatic afternoon. It has not quite equalled the overly emotional and absolutely draining evening in May 2005, when the mighty reds lifted their fifth European Cup (yes, that’s five!), but it has been an afternoon nonetheless of roller coaster emotions, intermittent outbursts of joy, mixed with more than a few exasperated gasps.

But, as with 2005, it all turned out fine in the end. I have no finger nails left, and as Louise attempted to talk to me during the final throes, I am probably going to find all my belongings on the lawn. Watching a high-profile Liverpool game and holding a civil conversation are two tasks that I find to be mutually exclusive. I become so engrossed and (as it is Liverpool) highly frustrated that I only have enough concentration for one thing at a time.

So a successful end to the weekend.

Last week flashed by for me. Week two of the new place, and amazingly I retain the thin veneer of credibility, and may even make it to my first pay-day. Louise’s week on the other hand experienced a whole different type of flash in the pan. An infection of an unmentionable organ that starts with b and rhymes with vowel has meant most of the week off work, and a pretty rotten time. Anyway, enough talking about someone else, let’s get back to more about me.

You may remember my bemoaning of my telephonic technology, having left my iPhone with all my angst, anger and bad memories of the old place. The Nokia E5 was just fit for purpose, barely, but the amount of times I had my finger hovering over the Order button for a shiny iPhone 4S was many. Anyway, last week I did order a new iPhone, but in a very unlikely act of generosity it wasn’t for me.

Emily’s contract had been up just before Christmas, but being destitute and unsure of employment plans, we had avoided the extra monthlies to get her onto an iPhone. Now, with literally minutes of stable employment under my belt, it seemed right and proper to do the decent thing. There you have the ultimate demonstration of unconditional love. I have two children enjoying and iPhone 4s whilst I have a handset that may be better employed propping up an uneven table.

But wait, all is not lost. Due to a long winding route, and some work we are doing with a popular fruit based phone company (alas, not THAT one) we have been sent some handsets to “test” with, and I have craftily nicked the best one, and adopted it as my own. So, the star of the most recent Blackberry adverts is now mine to trial for a very long time.

It is a Blackberry 9900 Bold, and for someone who in the past just could not get on with a Blackberry it is pretty nice to be honest, and certainly good enough to prevent me from blowing a chunk of change getting the other fruit based handset….for now!! Whatever drugs those at Apple are sneaking into the water, they appear to be working.

Going back to the start of the weekend, we spent Friday evening at the cinema. I spent most of the film laughing at the girls jumping out of their seats at regular intervals. You may have worked out that we were not watching The Muppets, but instead The Woman in Black. I thought it was OK, and the girls enjoyed it but Louise was a little disappointed that it wasn’t more scary. For a 12A I thought it punched above its weight scary wise, but Louise lives with me, so her scary thresholds have been set pretty high. Seeing me strut around the bedroom in my thong style underwear pretty much makes any attempts at fear Daniel Radcliffe can throw at her meaningless.

It did bring back memories of those Friday evenings in my childhood watching Hammer Horror films. As expected Emily did not sleep at all on Friday night, which is pretty much what happens after every scary film she sees. This makes you wonder why she enjoys watching them so much?

It may have been excitement rather than fear, as Saturday morning was all about One Direction. I do find it odd that Emily is obsessed with them, as they fall way outside her usual compass of musical taste, but obsess about them she does. By 8.45am, I was on the laptop with every known ticket website known to man open. Louise and the girls had a phone number each and were ready with the redial button.

By 8.55 I was refreshing all the sites to find most had already ground to a halt under the enormous traffic levels, but one seemed to be not only up, but selling tickets even though it was still pre 9am. As the girls got nowhere near getting through to anyone, I seemed to be moving effortlessly through the purchase process on Ticketline. Thinking it too good to be true I kept quiet until the magic confirmation appeared, and I declared the tickets secured before 9am had struck.

I was briefly elevated to hero status. It didn’t last of course. So the girls just have thirteen months to wait now to go and see them.

A bit of dog walking, tidying, a haircut and a film or two aside that’s been events in the Williams house. This is better than watching the news isn’t it??

Till the next time…..

All that (Honda) Jazz

19/02/201207/06/2020 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

Being the new boy at work, the early parts of this week were spent having my head dunked in the toilets, being sent out to buy some tartan paint,and being told to go out for a long stand. With it being all new, the working week has not been full of the usual soul-destroying dread that precedes every other day in recent times.

It has been quite interesting, trying to get to grips with new people, new things and not looking like a complete numpty all at the same time. It is a very small company, so I have absolutely enjoyed the complete lack of politics that seemed to cripple the last place into incompetence and inaction, so I really hope that can remain so as we grow.

I am under no illusions that as I settle in, that feeling of impending doom may creep back into Sunday evenings, but for now I’d settle for a feeling of mild disappointment at the thought of work. Imagine if you will, that feeling you get when your progress along the road is interrupted when a Honda Jazz pulls out in front of you and you know you won’t see any thing north of 24 miles per hour for the next few miles. You get the picture?

In the meantime, I shall make the most of this feeling of newness, and hope that I live up to any expectations of me, or failing that quickly learn how to blag things well enough never to be rumbled. I have based my entire “career” on that principle thus far, so I am hopeful I shall be able to continue.

There has been no progress on the “other opportunity” with a Mexican stand-off in full swing. Ironically, the job does not involve Mexico at all. I am not for budging on my position, and they are exploring other candidates who will work for the package they are offering. Should they not be satisfactory then they may return to me. Not that I want to be explored by anyone ay any time, but I think the chances of being so are now very slim indeed, and have consigned this to a burner so far back that I can’t even see it on the hob.

Now, I’m not one to moan! When life gives me lemons I simply whinge that I wanted limes. However, this week saw Louise’s car go into the garage for an MOT, Service and seemingly gold plating. The level of remuneration given to the garage cannot be written here. I tried, but my keyboard ran out of numbers half way through. What was to be a one day stay turned into three, as it seems, they took it apart, rebuilt and/or replaced every single component with a new one, made of titanium and diamonds. So the bill was painful plus labour and VAT. Luckily, money is no object for us…oh no, wait, it is a very large object!

Still, on the bright side, things like having working brakes all four wheels should make Louise’s driving experience a lot smoother and safer.

Having all of our disposable income for the foreseeable future sat on our drive, the weekend hasn’t been full of wild and exciting activities. It started well with Oli greeting us on Friday morning by depositing his insides all over our duvet. That meant we got up nice and early in time for work, and helped keep the local dry cleaners in business.

Rebecca went to a party last night, which I have to be honest fills me with dread every time. I of course want her to have lots of friends, an enjoyable social life, and to learn how to interact with people of all kinds. On the other hand, I also want to lock her in her room until her early twenties until she meets a vicar and gets married.

As tends to happen, she emerged from her room after literally hours of prep looking nearer 24 than 14. She was planning on sleeping out at a friend’s, but as often happens I got a text close to midnight asking if I was up and could I pick her up as she was tiered and wanted her own bed rather than her friend’s bedroom floor. Luckily for her I was, and I have to admit I felt a whole lot better to have her home. Especially as she regaled with me tales of the police arriving at the party, and everyone being sent home!! You can imagine how delighted I was about that.

Today has seen the appearance of something not seen for a long time, and very welcome. That is the sun. Albeit still cold, the sun has shone today, reminding me that a time other than Winter exists, and making me look forward to the week’s worth of summer that we normally get in May. Bring it on! I took full advantage and Oli and I went out for a decent walk earlier, and it seems the mood has gripped the girls too, as Rebecca has also had him out, with Emily threatening to do the same very shortly. The poor lad won’t have a clue what is going on.

Rebecca and Louise are now backing some scones, so it is a good job I walked off those 80 or so calories on my walk earlier!

I’m off to watch some footy now. Should my team not progress then I shall be feeling more upset than when a Honda Jazz pulls out in front of me. It will be more like being cut up by a 51 reg Nissan Micra, that has a trilby and a box of tissues on the back shelf, whilst finding that every radio station on the dial is locked into some sort of Coldplay homage.

Till the next time….

A Brazillian With A Sword…Ouch!

12/02/2012 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

So I am between jobs. Albeit for 48 hours, but nevertheless, as intended I left the old place on Friday in a blaze of apathy, and am now having my loins girded for the enslaught of a new challenge tomorrow.

My working time at the old place fizzled out predictably, reflecting my appropriate levels of enthusiasm for the place. The “leaving do” was a cosy lunch for three at the local Beefeater, where indeed I ate beef. Luckily one of the three was my boss, and so as work etiquette dictates, those that earn the most pay the bill. Being a Beefeater we did of course have the option of their set menu, that being –

Prawn Cocktail

Steak

Black Forest Gateaux

However, time was against us, so one course it was, as I had to get back to the office to do some more browsing of the internet to make sure it was all correct. It wasn’t.

The evening saw me out on the tiles in Manchester for the first time in…well…ever. This was not my leaving do I hasten to add. I was driving as my attendance was a last minute decision. Several colleagues from former employees were out and about, and I decided to tag along, mainly on the promise of a Rusholme curry.

Again, I was thwarted, as by the time we (one other colleague from present place was also going) had set off, the plans had changed, and we were going to eat in central Manchester at three times the price and half the enthusiasm. Anyway, we started in some aircraft hangar like post modern bar in Piccaddilly (Kro Bar I think…do you get it??) and I willingly handed over the best part of a tenner for a pint of Fosters and a coke. Colleagues arrived, we chatted, moved on to other bars, I drank more coke, and basically just counted down the minutes until food. Slightly unfair that as it was good to catch up with folks I hadn’t seen in quite a while.

It turns out we were to be treated to a Brazillian. I’m all for being neat and tidy but I fear this to be overkill!!

We also ate at a place called Bem Brasil.

For those familiar with the Floridian equivalent of Texas De Brazil, you will be aware of the idea behind this restaurant. You pay a set price that you expect to include a week’s accomodation, fill yourself up on cheap salad and soup and then watch blokes walk round with their swords out.

To be fair, it was very nice. As I was eating with eight drunken blokes, it did turn into an episode of Man Vs Food very quickly, with the last to turn their coaster from green to red deemed the winner. I counted myself the winner, despite not even bothering the scorers with my volume of food intake, as shortly after getting to full, I threw (a lot of) some notes onto the table said my goodbyes, and then went to give a nearby car park my next mortgage payment. There ended my leaving day! The others I fear went on to who knows what and a large headache!

My one pint of Guinness and all that protein have stayed with me throughout the weekend, but I shall not elaborate on that here.

The other major event linked to my leaving is the lack of IT in the house. Having handed back my state of the art (ahem) Dell laptop, and my iPhone, the house is bereft of decent devices with which to interact with the internet. I am typing these words up in the converted loft, on a three year old PC, that has taken all of Saturday to catch up with the world, by way of installing updates for everything on it, and a few for things we don’t have. We don’t use it a lot these days, and it shows.

We do have other laptops and computers shoved into various cupboards, but they are so old that the porn on them involves not a plumber coming to fix a fridge, but a blacksmith coming round to sort a horse out with his anvil. I think I might copyright that film idea right there.

So until I turn up tomorrow we have had to endure the loft PC, and I am using Rebecca’s old phone, a Nokia E5. I’m sure it is fit for purpose and all that, but let me tell you it is crap!! It still has a good few months to run on the contract, but the chances of me sticking with it for all of those is pretty slim I must say.

For those who can remember as far back as last week, I had been cryptically referring to another job opportunity. Well, it still exists, and negotiations have been ongoing over the weekend between my people (me) and their people (expensive recruitment agent). Alas, as we stand we are some way apart on the valuation of me, and amazingly it is I who think I am worth more than they currently offer. The reason for the oddness of this opportunity is it would involve me working overseas.

So, the compensation for doing so has to be huge, and right now, it isn’t huge enough, so it rests on the back burner and will remain so unless they come back with a number very close to the one I sent back in the last email, with more than a hint of disdain for their offer. This all sounds very high powered business doesn’t it. If I had hair, I’d slick it back, put some red braces on and shout agressively into a phone the size of a house brick. Well, that Nokia E5 is pretty much as much use as one.

Until the opportunity is either finally buried or definitely on, I won’t bore you with any further details, which I’m sure is a blessing all round.

So what has been a very stressful time is hopefully coming to an end. I just want to know what job I am doing, so I can commit to it, and deal with the relative ups and downs of whichever one it is. I’m sure I’ll get this “closure” in the next day or so which will be a relief, not least for you dear reader, who is no doubt bored stupid hearing of it, on a blog where I keep saying I don’t do work stuff!!

So I shall leave you now, as Rebecca and I are home alone this evening. Emily is out at a friends having pizza, sweets and DVDs, which is an odd meal in anyone’s book, and Louise is out at a friend from work’s wedding. Yes Sunday is an odd day for a wedding, but the bride is up the duff and I suppose time is of the essence! Either that or Louise is out at Dem Brasil with Dr Kildare from work, admiring the swords on show.

As an aside, for technical reasons that are beyond me, the spell check feature on this here WordPress blog thingy, does not work on this crappy PC, so I apologise now for any glaring errors you have just waded through.

Till the next time…..

Seven Tears, Two Trains and Too many tweets.

05/02/2012 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

I fear that I may have been over active on the media of Twitter and Facebook, especially on Thursday. I’m afraid this is what happens when you trap me in a steel tube for four hours with only the internet for amusement. Due to these over frequent updates, you will no doubt have gathered that I was in the capital this week for a “meeting” regarding an “opportunity”. The existence of those speech marks is probably irrelevant.

There is nothing secret about this opportunity, as I have as you also know already resigned and am preparing to start my new job next week. However, I just don’t want to jinx anything by talking about it before it is anywhere close to being in the same vicinity as my bag, never mind in that bag. I will say that the meeting seemed to go OK, and I have just heard that I am through to the next stage of the process next week, again in frickin London, so location aside, that’s pleasing. This opportunity is quite different to the job I have accepted in many ways, and it would make a significant difference to us as a family in all sorts of ways. First priority is to get the offer, then decide if it is the thing to do.

Regular readers will know that I am not a fan of these trips to the capital. By some quirk of the ticket web site I had managed to secure First Class tickets for pence more than standard, so it was slightly more bearable. Your ticket involves food and WiFi access. Having done the bare minimum amount of work in the first few moments of the journey down, I was then in the unusual situation of having spare time and the internet. Usually, whenever I’m on the internet I’m “doing something”, like work, writing stuff for here or the WDW Dads, or looking stuff up.

Having all that time, and all of the internet at my disposal I was a bit lost to be honest. Discounting all those web sites that men have been known to visit when alone, as this was probably not suitable for the carriage, I found my way to Youtube. Alas, the internet access was pants, and I spent about two hours buffering. Now, as I said, I avoided those web sites that usually involve any sort of “buffering”, and doing that for two hours would improbable and impressive in equal measure, so I do mean that the videos were taking an age to load and then freezing half way through. Very frustrating, as I could easily have busied myself for hours looking at all the sad 80’s bands that I used to love.

You’d be amazed at how many Goombay Dance Band videos you can find! There simply isn’t enough fire eating in pop these days.

If you do watch that video clip, what a superb week that was in the charts. So many iconic 80’s songs in the Top Ten in one week. Most were crap of course, but still iconic. Haircut One Hundred, The Associates, Tight Fit, ABC…..all songs that are still known and played today. All topped off of course by the permed fire eating power house that led the Dancers of Goombay.

I shall leave you to ponder which of those songs and artists I actually do like, and which I offer in jest!

In other more important news, Louise’s Mum is on the mend. She is something close to her old self now, but we are not kidding ourselves that she is out of the woods, so we continue to keep a very close eye on her. This typically takes the form of Louise spending long periods of time on the phone with her, being told the same tale seventeen times, and then fighting the urge to stick a sharp object in her own eye afterwards.

The week ended with the annual disabling of the entire country by a few flakes of snow. As well as earning every weather person and reporter invaluable overtime as they stand outside some random location, delivering tales of chaos and calamity, it also introduced Oli to the white stuff for the first time. He is obsessed!! He’s spent nearly every waking minute in the back garden, charging around, rolling in it and shoving his nose into it.

There are hours of endless fun available now by watching him charge around, slipping and sliding his way from one pile of snow to another, a bit like Frankie Cocozza on a night out I suppose.

So I shall leave you to dig yourselves out of the snow, should you have it, as we are going out tonight. Due to the complete absence of cash since all this job nonsense started back in November we haven’t been out in ages. So the plan, Louise tells me, is to go and have some tea somewhere and then the cinema. We did have a minor disagreement when she came out with the statement “Cos then we won’t need sweets for the cinema”. I countered with the only phrase that was apt in the face of such lunacy, “Are you out of your mind?”.

I shall be a picking and a mixing tonight.

Till the next time….

That was the week that was…bobbins.

29/01/2012 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

I have to confess to not really being in the mood for my usual jovial glance back at the week just gone.

We’ve had a tough one, starting literally with the week, when Louise’s Mum called us early on Monday morning to say “she wasn’t feeling very well”. I’m not going to go into loads of detail, but Louise hasn’t stopped all week, backwards and forwards to hospital, after two admissions in the week. The diagnosis is still quite unclear, ranging from some sort of stroke to meningitis and although she is out of hospital, much the better for the medication, she’s far from right to be honest.

Louise’s Mum stayed with us here one night, in between admissions, and she’s now recuperating with another family member until everyone, including her, feel she is more ready to be home alone.

Add to all this that two other folk I know, one virtually, and one originally virtually but now also in real life, have also had pretty rotten weeks too. It isn’t my place to outline their events, or even really comment, but the sooner the week is over the better all round I think. Many of you will know who they are I’m sure.

Other events over the last week then pale into insignificance, and therefore I’ll refrain from rambling on about them here. Not even a pleasing week of football results can rescue it from the bottom of the league table of weeks. I can summarise events in one sentence. Work, waney lap repair success and walking the dog. To lighten the tone of this post, here is my mate Oli, now six months old, and becoming a very handsome young man, pictured on Saturday morning.

This may of course lead to a very short entry here, and me feeling that I’m short-changing anyone that cares. Imagining that anyone does care, and may well be feeling short-changed of anything, I have posted a new article over at The WDW Dads website. So please head on over there, and have a read by clicking this here link. It deals with the oft discussed topic of what age is the best to first take your kids to WDW. Consider it an attempt to inject some magic into a week bereft of any.

So with a respectful nod to friends with crappy news this past week, and a wish for Mary’s return to full health, I give this last week a two-fingered salute and one of my stares.

Onwards and upwards into a new week which will hopefully deliver closure on which bloody job I’ll be doing, and some improvements all round.

Till the next time….

Britain’s Got Nothing Better To Do?

22/01/2012 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

It’s been a right old week. As much as it is nice (and welcome) to be popular, this multiple job thing is a toughie.

So I’m working really hard at trying to look busy at the old place, smiling at all the right things, feigning the appropriate level of concern at others, and above all else trying to keep up the thin charade that I really give a rat’s ass. On top of that, I’ve been to see my new place a couple of times, and despite not getting paid by them for some weeks, I’ve picked some work from there, which is hampered mainly by the fact that I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing in new world yet.

Add to all of that a week of second and third interviews, and ridiculous psychometric tests at my other “opportunity”, and all the brain power needed to think about which job I’d take where I to get both, I’ve certainly had less stressful weeks. With me, stress does not deliver handy side benefits like not eating so that I emerge some weeks later with the body of Russell Brand. No, stress for me represents itself in the form of binge eating and acne!! Yes, acne!! So despite turning up for these interviews looking like some plague ridden fatty, somehow I managed to get myself a second job offer.

That really put the cat amongst the pigeons. However, after due consideration, I stuck with my original offer, and politely turned the second one down. Financially both were similar, but the second one, frankly, sounded really hard, and so, like the big girl’s blouse that I am, I opted for what appears to be the path of least resistance.

You’d think having two offers was more than enough for anyone in these tough times, and believe me I have no clue how this has happened. For many weeks prior to this employers were literally making a point of not urinating on me despite being metaphorically on fire. Then, of course, to continue the overuse of metaphors, three come along at once.

What’s that? Three you say? Well nearly. I have one last iron in the fire which won’t come to fruition for a couple of weeks, and this one truly is a game changer in many ways, not least salary wise, but also in lots of other ways which I won’t bore anyone with until (and if) it becomes relevant. I suspect it won’t!

This hectic week was rounded off back in the office on Friday, where the normally fairly quiet and peaceful vistas of Salford Quays were overrun with badly dressed disillusioned Jeremy Kylers, as Ant ‘n’ Dec had brought the Britain’s Got Talent juggernaut to my offices. I work in a seven storey building right opposite the Lowry Theatre, and in reception is a “function room” which had for the day been converted into a holding pen for the intellectually challenged folks trying to get Cowell’s attention by passing coat hangers through their nasal cavity or similar. After being kept waiting in this corporate wasteland for several hours they were then escorted across the plaza into the theatre itself to perform.

As much as this made any lunch time outings an assault course, it did mean that the three-hour sales meeting in the morning had a welcome distraction, as I could giggle at the seemingly endless hordes of no hopers willing to stand in the absolutely persistent rain that did not let up for one second.

This made the meeting go quite quickly if I’m honest. I will admit that me taking photos out of the window may have given the game away that I wasn’t giving the subject at hand all my attention, but hey, what are they gonna do, sack me?

At lunch time I did venture out, and the entire area was like a cross between some scene from The Lord of The Rings and a Jerry Springer marathon. Some “acts” had animals with them, some family were pushing some huge “thing” up the side of the theatre, with two young kids, obviously wearing some spangly affair under the coats. Lord knows what they would be doing. Hopefully it was some sort of Weapon of Mass Destruction to be unleashed on Cowell whenever he deigned to appear later into the day.

The first seven or eight hours seems to be run by hundreds of “Crew” who had an average age of around fourteen, but all had headsets and earnest expressions as they herded Albert the Spoon Playing Albino Dwarf across the slippery concrete expanse outside the Lowry Theatre. That’s showbiz.

Even as I left (which to be honest, was a little earlier than I should have), it was still ram packed all around, with the surrounding restaurants doing a roaring trade. It will take them days to sweep up all the glitter from those dance troops though.

I will say that the mechanics of it all it very impressive, and how they get a rabble like that into any sort of order to milk hours of TV out of it, I’ll never know. It may be crass, intelligence insulting bilge, but it is well organised crass, intelligence insulting bilge.

I wonder how many of today’s true global superstars can say their careers started off in a drizzly, windy and cold Salford under an umbrella.

Still, just think, these auditions may uncover a new star, maybe the next Coldplay? I rest my case!!

Till the next time…..

Wake me up when it’s over!

15/01/2012 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

They say that the most stressful things in life are divorce, changing jobs and moving house. Never ones to do things by half, it would appear we’re attempting two of those three at the same time. I shall leave you to guess which two. Depending on how these two go, we may end up with a full house anyway!!

It has been a badly veiled secret that I have not been in love with my job for some time, and without overtly stating it here, it will have been obvious to everyone and anyone that I’ve been assessing my options! Having been at this whole assessing lark since late November I have established the following truths –

1. Most recruitment agents are absolute teapot du chocolat style wastages of air. (For balance I have come across a couple who are also outstanding, professional, knowledgable and very well-connected, and I thank them!!)

2. Searching for a new job is a full-time job.

3. I am sick to death of talking about myself endlessly in a bid to convince someone to give me lots of money.

However, after all this effort, some fool has agreed to pay me money to turn up at their offices, and their offer is more attractive to me than my current one, which to be honest didn’t take a lot. So last week I resigned. It felt goooooood.

I have been sworn to secrecy until work can come up with a plan of how to communicate this to the troops, and have some sort of plan in place for the future. Having had to bite my tongue all last week, and keep up the (very thin) charade of giving a toss, I’m bored now, and should some work related folks stumble across this here blog then so be it.

Having badly broken my promise of not doing work stuff in this blog, I won’t go into details of who I’ll be working for. Firstly, no-one really cares, but also selfishly, I have some other irons in the fire over the next week or so which may result in me having a choice, so I don’t want to jump any guns until the plump lady has cleared her throat for a rendition of “You can shove your job up your arse!”

Last Friday saw the last few folks affected by the recent redundancies that started my job hunt, leave the business, and I am really chuffed that they have nearly all found alternate/better employment. There are a couple still looking, and it can only be a matter of time as they are excellent at what they do!

So, amidst all the rigmarole of trying to find employment elsewhere, Louise and I have come to the conclusion that we need to move house. I would dearly love to do just that, and pick our house up and put it where we want to move to, but alas, that is not possible. We need to be only a mile or so down the road, nearer to schools and parents for lots of logistical reasons, so it looks like we will have to endure the horrors of moving house.

We have been valued (again, as we’ve tried this before), and today has been a solid twelve hours of cleansing, clearing and preening the house ready for the photos to be taken tomorrow. This must be like being Peter Andre, and having OK round snapping your house. The only difference is that he uses someone else’s house that has been professionally cleaned!! Plus of course I have a better physique!

I am now of course on first name terms with the high vis guy at the local tip who tells everyone which container to shove stuff, and Louise hasn’t stopped today. Even now I can hear the distant hum of the Dyson, as she removes evidence of the house ever being lived in.

So there we go, that is how we have come to undertake two of the most stressful things in life at the same time. We have a track record in this regard, as many years ago, it all came to a head (literally) as Rebecca was born three days before we moved, so that was a calm relaxed time too!

Having moaned, I must say that me not changing my job would have been stressful in a different way, so I’m not complaining about that bit. I will complain lots about every aspect of moving house as I hate it with a passion. However, it is a necessary evil, and in the end it will simplify and de-stress our day-to-day lives if we can get somewhere suitable within walking distance of school, and as close as possible to our parents, so that we can look after them, as required in years to come, and in the meantime they can help with the kids and the dog! Seems like a fair trade to me.

It seems not eighteen months since you last had to endure me working my notice, and I apologise that you must go through that again so soon. On the bright side, I need only work one month of notice this time rather than three, so that should give us all a decent chance of getting through it with our mental health intact. Let us hope that we need never speak of such things again for quite some time once this is done.

So having already today, painted, visited the tip, been to Tesco, taken Emily to take some more photos for her coursework, made the tea (a fine Sunday roast even if I say so myself), arranged a babysitter for Oli tomorrow so he doesn’t eat the estate agent, tidied a bit and written this, I still have stuff to do so I must leave you.

Till the next time…..

Waney Lap…whoever he is.

08/01/2012 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

As I settle down to write this week’s blog, you may be intrigued to learn that I’m very stiff. Before your minds run away with you, and my female readers implode in a frenzy of mental images and hot sweats, this is because this weekend I have done my first bit of exercise for many a month.

This onslaught was brought on of course by the excess of Christmas, but it was brought into sharp focus this week, when I had to wear a tie for the first time in about four years. Ties have long since been surplus to requirements as part of my working life, but I had to go somewhere this week that required one. This formal occasion was sort of work related, and will hopefully expedite my escape from the morale and sanity sapping existence I endure Monday to Friday right now.

So having spent the usual few minutes getting showered and dressed in preparation, it then took about another half hour to actually fasten my top button! Once I’d woken from the blood loss induced coma, I then struggled through the day without turning my head! This episode sort of brought it home that I need to shed a few pounds…probably a couple of dozen. So, even though I hate being part of the cliché that is a new year diet regime, I’m in it, and I’ve eaten just a little bit less. With a workout on Saturday and a long walk with Oli today, the scales are showing a slightly lower number than last week, so that’s a relief. A long, long way to go though.

So I’ve continued to work on my escape plan, and although I always say I don’t do work stuff here, it will be no surprise to you that I’m exploring opportunities elsewhere, and hope to have positive news shortly.

The first week back at work, as horrific as it was, was softened by it only being for four days, and having traffic on the roads that would be very tolerable were that to be the norm. Add to that the progress made with a couple of escape routes, and it could have been a lot worse. The girls have been off all week too, and this has added to the gentle introduction to the new working year. Not having to wrench them from their pits at a silly hour means the early morning routine is much less stressful. With them at home, it also means I don’t have to walk the dog before work, as in theory they are at home to walk him. That theory sometimes needs a little encouragement!

Tomorrow may well be a shock to their systems as the last time they did not wake up of their own volition was December the 23rd!

It was my Dad’s birthday this week, and I do feel sorry for him, as it tends to get a little lost in the end of Xmas, decoration removing, diet starting apocalypse. I popped round with his customary golf related gift and card, pleased to see he’s more or less recovered from his proper man flu that besmirched his New Year.

We’ve had quite a relaxing weekend, which you could translate to, we don’t have any cash to do anything exciting. As a result of the excessive wind of late, we were missing a panel of fencing in the back garden. I have since birth (or shortly afterwards) understood this type of fencing to be called Waney Lat. It is only the writing of this blog entry that has taken me to google to find out how to spell it properly, and it would appear that the correct technical term is Waney Lap. Now that makes no sense whatsoever, but I sit, stiffly corrected.

Waney Lap Fence — Yes of course this is our garden!

My first job today was to effect a repair otherwise Oli would be leaving deposits in next door’s garden, and with the size of him now, they don’t want that. It takes two people to clear them up!

I think they could introduce this activity into the Olympics this summer. I’m sure had any of the neighbours been watching from a window, they would have been highly entertained as I attempted to slot the bugger back into place all on my own. Imagine if you will, a portly bald fella holding a fencing panel across his body, waddling around the garden at the behest of every breath of wind, trying desperately to lift it high enough to slot it into the grooves on either side. Now, imagine every swear word you have ever known, and them being shouted loudly as it falls back to the ground for the sixth time.

Should it become an Olympic event, it shall be yet another sport at which I have not been naturally blessed. I returned to the warmth of the house some many minutes later, with grazed knuckles, dirty pants (yes, soiled, but not in a bad way), and muddy shoes. Oli had spent this time exploring next door for the last time before his escape route was cruelly shut off.

With that one job off my task list, it barely made a dent in the long list of stuff that is currently either slightly or totally broken in our house. We have a temperamental shower, a fridge with a door averse to shutting, a broken lamp, several bulbs that need replacing and Louise’s car is in for a service/Mot/Highway robbery in a couple of weeks with a list of minor issues to investigate.

So having missed all of Dancing on Ice by writing this, I consider that job done. Now, on our telly, I’m watching two vacuous effeminate chaps trying to groom three women into looking like Beyonce.Yes, that’s correct they have commissioned such a programme. The three contenders look like Beyonce about as much as I do, and of the three frankly I have the nicest bum. The programme appears to be called Bigger than Beyonce and I can confirm that indeed all the contestants are, by quite some margin.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again….TV will eat itself, and judging by these hopefuls, it is about the only thing they haven’t yet eaten. I appreciate I sit within a very glass house in that respect, but I am not flouting myself on national TV in some sort of looky likey travesty. If I were, then maybe Bigger than Brian Glover may be more appropriate? Go on, Google him. Although Louise always says I look like Gok Wan. If that isn’t grounds for divorce then I don’t know what is.

Till the next time…..

2011 in review – thanks to all who came along.

01/01/2012 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for my blog. Silly numbers, and I thank everyone who bothered to come and read this stuff.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 44,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 16 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

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