mkingdon – Page 19 – Mkingdon's Blog

We are Yorkshire Puddings.

12/05/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

We’ve had a lovely change this weekend, and spent it away with friends in Yorkshire. Our frequent lenders of DVC points Steve and Di had us over to their house in North Yorkshire, and we have only just arrived home, tired, but mainly full after Di served us so much food over the weekend that I’ll be in one of my post Florida shirts for work tomorrow!

We have been totally spoilt, waited on like royalty, and had a lovely time around some of the loveliest countryside in the country.

After arriving on Saturday and being served Quesadillas, grilled goat’s cheese on french bread and a paklava so delicious that I almost passed out, we went out for a wander around Sutton Bank.

This is home to a gliding club, and we timed it perfectly to see one take off. We also experienced some of the craziest and strongest winds possible. We were literally being blown sideways for just a few minutes until it suddenly just passed, leaving us to continue the walk, taking some snaps along the way.

However, Emily beat my attempts with this one.

Having walked off a dozen or so calories it was back home for another meal. This time, it was a delicious spicy chicken curry, with perfectly cooked fluffy rice, and just to make sure we liked it we had some more paklava too.

Steve and I took Oli out for a late night wander up deserted country lanes, introducing him to sheep of various colours and sizes. None of which he was particularly keen on to be honest. He’s just a big coward really.

Full of fine food, beer and wine we all soon fell into bed.

Having Oli with us proved to be OK for most of the time, but when he started playing with his purple squeaky ball at 3am, nobody was amused. I was going to join in, but thought better of it and put mine away.

Having vowed never to eat again twelve short hours earlier, nobody can explain why we were then tucking into a huge full English breakfast at around 9am. Only just able to walk we boarded the car, and set off to feed some local donkeys that Steve and Di like to spoil on a regular basis.

They like polos!

Next door to their field was Marmion Tower which we had a quick look around, but to be honest the stupidly low temperatures for May and the constant drizzle forced us back to the car sharpish.

We had a brief wander around a lovely town square in Masham, home to Black Sheep beer, bought Oli an ice cream cone, and then retreated to the warmth of the car once again.

After a short scenic drive through some lovely looking (but cold and wet) scenery, there was nothing else to do but eat again. Having put away enough to feed an army already this weekend, a light lunch was the sensible option.

Instead, we had a full Lamb Sunday dinner, with all the trimmings, followed by home-made Bread and Butter Pudding. I think you have put weight on simply by reading this blog.

At around 4pm we left Steve and Di in peace and made our way home, and once back over the Pennines the weather went up a good few notches on the crappy scale. We are all now lounging in various states of lethargy, and pretty much all in elasticated pants of one variety or another.

It has been so nice to do something different of a weekend, in what must be one the loveliest places in the country. The food wasn’t bad either!! We have been looked after fantastically and are just sad to be back in the real world again having to fend for ourselves!

I am off now to either vomit or start eating again….I’m not sure which yet.

Till the next time…..

These aren’t the ramblings you are looking for…..

05/05/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

It’s been a busy old week. A sure sign of a busy one is that it flashes by in the blink of an eye. I spent most of it doing something that has been the basis of my job for years now, and that is nerd herding.

Don’t for one second think that I use the term nerd in any sort of derogatory manner. I have a mixture of admiration and envy for those cleverer than myself who can make stuff appear on a computer from literally nothing more than a few strokes of the keyboard.

With this project (you know, the one you are sick of almost hearing about) reaching its crashing crescendo, I had the team of developers doing the actual work in the office with me for three days in an attempt to drag things over the line. They normally work down in the South West, and we communicate via email, web chat and telephone. Of course you cannot beat all being in the same room to get decisions made quickly.

There was an outstanding amount of stuff done, and lots and lots of hours worked, and not a lot of down time. Whilst I don’t do anything physical (aka real work) there is no doubt that working at this level of intensity can be exhausting. After such a week, on the end of a long, long project, it has proven difficult to draw a line under stuff for the weekend, and I’ve found myself working today, and thinking about all this stuff when I don’t want to be.

It will soon be over.

It won’t surprise you to know that I haven’t really done a great deal this weekend, for the second week on the trot. I did do the big shop, but that merely involved a laptop, some clicking and a bloke bringing stuff to the door.

Keeping the nerdy theme going, you would have to have been in a cave this weekend not to have seen some comedic genius posting some reference to “May the Fourth Be With You”. It’s a decent play on words, and has only lost its shine now that it has been used for the gabillionth time. Don’t let my cynical grumpiness distract us from the fact that this occasion looks to be a bloody marvelous thing to go to WDW for.

Through Twitter and more laterally You Tube, it has become clear to me that this is one of the things to add to my WDW wish list for the future. Top of that list of course is to get back there at all, at any time, but if we’re playing fantasy holidays then at some point in the future we’ll be there for this.

Handily, Rebecca has a birthday around this time (the 7th just so you know!), and we have already promised her that at some point in the future we shall be there for one of her birthdays. This won’t be for a while, mainly due to having less cash than a Greek banker, but also because schools and colleges tend to be in session at this time.

Once she is free from education, we’ll hopefully schedule a trip in May. Any excuse? Absolutely.

Why do I want to go? Lots of reasons, but just invest seven minutes or so watching this. For those of a geeky/nerd like persuasion the music alone is liable to cause arousal. Mix it with fireworks and WDW, and it’s like a cocktail of Viagra and rhino horn. Pass me my light saber!!

Extending the WDW theme, this week Emily is finishing up two of her A level photography projects. Ignoring the stress this introduces into the household, along with Rebecca’s twenty three pieces of GCSE coursework that are all due in the next four minutes, it also has introduced huge expense.

The cost of the backing card, endless photo prints, and of course the bloody mileage to take the photos, and it would be cheaper to just bribe the teacher for a decent grade.

Anyway, WDW was my point, and I shall get back to it. One of her projects was based on WDW, with her taking lots of photos on out last visit, and since returning she has taken many photos in Blackpool, the theme of the project being the contrast between the two.

There are far too many photos to post here, believe me, but this particular one is a good one, and she’s proud of it.

For someone who isn’t going any time soon I think I’ve done a good job of shoe horning WDW into this post, and not crying my eyes out whilst typing. Well, not a lot anyway.

Till the next time….

My Flip Flopping Mood

28/04/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

I like where I work. Don’t get me wrong though, if I had the choice I’d rather not have a place to work, more a place to drink beer at the side of my Floridian pool in the lovely sunshine. But for as long as needs must the current place will do fine.

Having said that, this week I witnessed something that would strike fear and loathing into anyone’s heart. Whilst doing a nationwide tour of our different offices, we were blessed with some sunshine. By this I mean there was no snow, and I did not need twelve layers of clothes. So explain to me why then there were chaps in the office in flip-flops!

Myself and m’colleague (Steve) were delivering some training/a briefing on stuff, and had to continue our flawless delivery whilst confronted with white hairy legs (yep, they had shorts on too) topped off with flip-flops.

I am all for casual attire at work. Most days jeans are the order of the day, and on these balmy days that touched at least the mid sixties this week, I had a short-sleeved polo shirt on. I know, crazy right? But unless there is an abundance of sand or you are in a foreign country, flip-flops are hardly ever acceptable on a male, let alone in the workplace.

Maybe my aversion to these exposed body parts was driven by the exertion of the week’s extensive travelling, and the impending conclusion of this here project I’ve been working on since last September. As I drove home on Thursday night, I was metaphorically limping up the M6, dreaming of my own bed, and not having to give that same briefing again for a fifteenth time!

I collapsed into the weekend, grateful for its welcoming embrace. For the first time in ages, it has felt like a weekend too. This is because Louise’s placement has finished and she is now back in Uni for quite some time. This means the end to her shift work for now, and she is instead around at home. This in turn means that now Louise is not working all weekend I don’t have to do all the boring chores that she enjoys so much!

It has been so nice being able to relax a little, and today I have truly done hardly anything. Louise had the house tidy by the time the weekend started, I haven’t ironed or washed anything (other than myself, and that iron can sting a little), and Louise even made the tea tonight. Superb. To add joy to relaxation she also has a cheesecake in the oven as I type. I do not mean that I have shared my special seed again, I do mean that there is a cake with my name on it cooling in our oven.

So once I’ve done this, I’m taking Oli out and then reconnecting my backside with the chair for the rest of the evening. Next week, I am not away over night for the first time in about six weeks, and despite the continued stress of the project end, even that is looking like it might turn out alright.

Now don’t worry, you have not stumbled across the wrong blog. This is indeed a positive post. Make the most of it.

To add balance, I still don’t have a WDW trip booked, so things could always get better, but such is life.

So this sheep dog won’t walk himself. I’ll just put my flip-flops on and I’ll be off.

Till the next time…..

Boston.

21/04/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

The rolling news this week has had the look and feel of a Tom Cruise film. I’ve been frustratingly busy, so haven’t caught too much of the detail, but Boston has looked like something you might find unbelievable if you saw the film.

I can only try to imagine what it felt like in those suburban towns in which this all unfolded. Surreal would probably be an understatement.

Despite having to fight the urge to wonder what possesses senior policemen in the US to wear such silly hats, this has been one of those world events that we will all remember for many years I am sure.

Boston Policeman — Where did you get that hat?

Having witnessed a “police incident” on one of our trips to the US, the sheer scale and awesomeness of the fire power deployed in Boston was not too surprising, despite it being to find one 19-year-old.

Of course, we don’t know the full details, and who is to know if these two are the only ones involved or not, and of course the police, FBI and everyone else involved couldn’t know what they are dealing with. Having seen the US police deploy a tank and SWAT team for a bank raid, I would imagine the resources currently sat in Boston could invade a fairly large country if they so wished.

This week has also shown how different things are now, in terms of reporting these types of events. Rolling news can be great of course when you want to watch events unfold live, but when you’ve seen the Uncle of these two suspects shout at the press in his weird accent for the seventeenth time this hour, you get the impression that there isn’t actually a lot to report.

Boston suspect's uncle — Shouty shouty noise shout

The other big difference to events like these is of course that every observer can become a news reporter. We all have cameras in our pockets, handily attached to the internet, and this results in incredible images like this.

I know that this image is disturbing, and I apologise if you find it too much. If it were me, I would pin this picture on the wall of whatever institution the living suspect is being kept in. In fact, I’d make him meet this chap and look him in the eye.

Despite all the new developments in rolling news and images captured by observers, I imagine that this tragedy will fall into the same conspiracy theory category of 9/11, where we’ll all be looking at grainy images of weird goings on, and some no doubt will be certain that the two chaps held responsible were only part of a bigger master plan and organisation. To those killed and injured that will never matter.

Whenever I have to visit London, a tube journey now is never free from a wary glance around the carriage at my fellow passengers. No matter how hard I try though I just cannot imagine something actually happening like it did one July. I suppose I should be glad that I can’t!

Apologies for the sombre tone, but it felt wrong to be my usual glib self this week. The trouble is, every week there is some horror somewhere in the world like this, and I suppose it is only the level to which it is reported that affects the attention we give it.

I’ve added to the attention these idiots have received just by writing about it here, which is both annoying and sad.

Till the next time….

My Buddy Gyles Brandreth

14/04/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

All the kerfuffle over the last few weeks has brought quite a few new readers to these parts, so I sit here staring at the blank page all of a quiver at the extra pressure brought on by these newbies.

My regulars know and tolerate the quality to be expected here, so I merely wish to delay the disappointment of those brought here to read my ramblings. Here goes…

So last week saw me undertaking “executive travel” once again, with Tuesday in London, an overnight stay in the five-star, sorry I mean 0.5 star Prince of Wales in Marlow, and Wednesday in HQ in the same town.

As I’ve often said, I do appreciate London, in short doses and usually once back on the train with it shrinking into the distance. My meeting was in Piccadilly Circus, which as usual, saw this simple Northern Lad staring slack-jawed at the twinkly signs and all that stuff we only see on the telly. I did my best to avoid all eye contact on the tube, and to stand on the correct side of the escalators to avoid being mown down by some swarthy investment banker as he sweeps past on the way to his next bonus.

Like most northerners I assume that the streets of London are strewn with celebrities, and I often spot one or two in those brief few hours in which I enter and retreat SAS like from it’s smoggy grip.

Alas, this time, I only saw Gyles Brandreth. I was coming up out of the underground at Paddington to catch the train back to Marlow, and he was filming, I assume for The One Show. No doubt it was a twenty-minute piece on some crucial story such as who invented tin foil or the percentage of the population with a third nipple, as is the norm for The One Show.

I sauntered through shot all casual like, trying to act all blase, like getting on TV is something that happens every day. Do watch out for me on The One Show as I shall obviously feature heavily.

Our family of course are regulars on it!

The only other times I have appeared on TV were way back in earlier decades. Whilst working for Nat West, we “volunteered” to work on ITV’s telethon programme at Granada Studios in Manchester, and my legs and shoes appeared briefly on national TV behind Richard and Judy.

The other time was a close shave in more than way, as I was handing a drink to runners in the Bolton Marathon, and having spotted a camera, I risked life, limb and my childhood innocence by dashing through an army of runners to hand Jimmy Saville a drink. He was very gentle!

As claims to fame go, I suspect there are more impressive ones. Oh yes, I did also used to work with Howard Donald, from Take That…….’s cousin. I think I’ll stick with walking past Gyles Brandreth. Not something I would want as my epitaph or on my gravestone of course, unless someone wants to pay £10 million for my funeral in which case I would have a headstone that wouldn’t look out-of-place in Vegas.

I would never do politics here, but regardless of your views on our recently deceased ex leader, do we really need to spend £10m to put a box of skin and bone into the ground? I can think of better uses of that cash to be honest. I need a holiday for a start!

Friday night saw a rare night out for us (minus Rebecca of course who is constantly attached to her Tom). We went to the cinema, and it was one of those trips to the cinema which was more about having a night out, rather than seeing a particular film. In the end we decided upon Identity Thief, and it was better than I expected. It was, I thought, going to be another gross out comedy spawned by the Hangovers and Bridesmaids we’ve seen recently, and it was I suppose, but good all the same.

Identity Thief — Better during a sugar coma

The trailers before the film though confirmed that Hollywood is struggling for an original thought, as Hangover III was shown, along with another trailer straight after that for what looked like a Hangover Junior, you know, a bit like S Club Juniors when S Club 7 were starting to implode in a haze of weight loss tablets and in fighting.

I forget what it was called, but basically the similarities leave me hoping that it is actually a spin-off, and not being passed off as a standalone effort. Don’t get me wrong I’ll be watching Hangover III, and of course Anchor Man 2, but I wonder if we’ve used up all the original ideas in the world. God knows, I’ve used the same seven gags in ten years of trip reports so I speak from authority.

Anyway, we enjoyed the film, and I went for the double trouble option of Ben & Jerrys and Pick n Mix. Sugar induced nausea adds to the enjoyment of any film, and when asked to pay for my snacks, it also gave me another better use of that £10 million we’re spending on a funeral!

Till the next time….

PS – Buy my book!

Blissfully brief.

07/04/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

I’m going to keep this short and sweet, as I am conscious that I have been very vocal virtually recently, and I need to give you all a break from me.

I will however thank you all again for your encouragement, support, purchases and patience with bad grammar and spelling with *that* book. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting when I thought of doing a book, but what has happened has certainly surpassed it. Just when I think I’ve seen the last of the purchases, more occur, and my ghasted is flabbered some more.

After the initial flurry of excitement and activity I now need to come up with ways to tackle the longer term push of the book without boring you all to death with constant tweets and posts about it. Once I’ve finished uploading my corrections that is!!

I have a very busy few weeks at work coming up with a massive project coming to its culmination, and I’m going to be away quite a bit too so it may have to wait until after that. I have also been giving some thought to what I do next writing wise. Of course I’d like my next bit of writing to be a trip report, but in the absence of that I may actually bite the bullet and force myself to have an original thought, and write something original and fictional.

We’ll see if that materialises.

So before I go back on my word and let this waffle continue, I shall leave you in peace. You probably have a book to read don’t you?

Till the next time…..

Just thank you!

31/03/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

So….it’s been a quiet weekend. How about you?

I just wanted to post a quick and simple thank you to anyone and everyone who took an interest, posted something or indeed bought my book.

I have been stunned at the support, encouragement and generosity of spirit of you all. At the risk of being sincere and serious for once, just thank you so much.

Yesterday was crazy. I just couldn’t keep up with the messages, tweets and posts, so if I missed anything from any body I apologise.

As I type, the book is number 1 on Amazon in the Family Travel category, number 4 in the Travel category and number 528 in the overall Kindle book category. It is hard to take that in really.

For those of you now reading the book, I apologise again for the grammar and spelling mistakes. Proof reading 350,000 words all on your ownsome is tough, as after a while you develop word blindness, and as I look through the book now on my tablet I see mistakes which drive me mad. I’m updating and correcting as quickly as I can and you may well get an alert from Amazon to get your hands on the update at some point.

For those who have reviewed the book, an extra thank you. Fourteen five-star reviews at the moment. Incredible.

So to stop me gushing any more I shall leave it there and get back to correcting stuff.

Just wow!

Till the next time….

That Book What I Wrote

30/03/201325/10/2013 by mkingdon, posted in dibb, mkingdon, Walt Disney World

What is this madness? A blog from me on a Saturday? Crazy I know, but these are not normal times we live in. For a start, it feels like a Sunday due to the Goodness of the Friday I just had.

What is the reason for this earth shattering deviation from the comforting grip of routine and normality? Well, I’ll tell you.

Some weeks ago, I undertook a detailed and extensive teaser marketing campaign, as I said…

“As some sort of teaser marketing campaign, I shall …..erm…tease you by letting you know that I am working on a “secret project” at the moment and at some point soon I may reveal it to you. As an added bonus one or two of you might even give a toss.”

All none of you picked up on this, and I was inundated with absolutely no enquiries as to what I was up to. As teaser marketing campaigns go, it may not have been the most successful in the history of advertising.

Weighed down by the massive sense of expectation this campaign created, I have been working hard on this project, and can now reveal all to you.

As I said at the time, sadly it is not the annual booking of our holiday. If it were that would be the least surprising reveal since Duncan from Blue announced he was gay. It is holiday related, and is in fact the news that I am now a published author!

That sounds grander than it actually is, as frankly anyone can be a published author as long as you can figure out the labyrinth of complexity involved in Amazon’s self publishing programme. But still, published I is.

So it is with great pleasure that I can reveal to you all my first (and probably only) book, Mkingdon’s Tales of Family, Food and Florida.

Book Image — Mkingdon’s Tales of Family, Food and Florida

Don’t worry, I’m not trying to fund our next trip with the sales of this book. Believe me, once Amazon and the tax man have had their share I would need the population of China to buy a couple each to be able to fund more than the taxi to the airport!

It is more that I have been meaning to do this for a while now, mainly to preserve them forever on somewhere other than a certain Disney forum. Who knows when that might blow up or self-destruct in a fire-ball of reclining seats, tipping and right-wing views? If it did, all the work I had put into these would be lost and I couldn’t have that. I spend less and less time on there now, so felt that I needed to reclaim them for myself, and of course if I sell a couple (I have already bought one copy, so just one more sale to reach my target) at the same time then that would of course be lovely.

It’s a big book, and should represent decent value for the (random) price. (Amazon’s pricing engine is slightly more complex than space travel). With ten year’s worth of holidays in it, the page count is as impressive as the photo quality isn’t. Amazon’s file size restrictions mean they have to be a thumbnail of a thumbnail!

Some of the grammar and spelling will not win any awards. I have tidied them up a little, but you will still find typos and the like, but hey, that all adds to the charm, doesn’t it??

So, please tell your friends, and even your enemies that such a thing exists, and if any of you are kind enough to invest in a copy, that in itself would be incredible, but should you even enjoy it, then that is what the review system is for on Amazon so don’t be shy to add one!

So there we go, I finally got my arse in gear and created a book from stuff what I wrote. Enjoy! We all enjoyed making the holidays that are in it.

Till the next time….

I just Asda know..is my shopping coming?

24/03/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

Being creatures of habit and routine it doesn’t take me much to upset our funk. A little bit of snow on Friday evening put our whole weekend out of whack. You may know that food is a central pillar of our lives, and so the delivery of the BIG SHOP on a Saturday morning is a critical part of our weekend.

Asda called us on Saturday morning saying that they had to cancel our delivery as there was “snow on the pavements”. Naturally then, if it were unsafe for their delicate drivers to make it out to our house then all the Asda stores in the country must be closed too, for fear of endangering the general public, who would be braving these treacherous footpaths to get themselves a loaf and a pint of milk?

No, it seems they were happy for the risk to be that of their customers. This upset was made worse as last week Louise did the big shop, and it was a contentious one. The girls and I thought it was bobbins, as we’d run out of drinks by Tuesday, and with no “real” food in the house by Thursday, the fact that we had no shop arriving on Saturday saw Emily resorting to “popping next door” to see Nana, and get some food whilst there!

I on the other hand got creative and my lunch on Saturday was made up of the shrapnel thrown to the back of the biscuit cupboard from the posh Christmas hamper I got from work. Those upscale, top of the range Cheddar infused crackers didn’t do much to dent the appetite.

Having collected Louise’s poorly car from the (now) wealthy garage owner at lunchtime, Louise was dispatched to forage for supplies in an actual shop. How quaint.

She returned some hours later with the ingredients to make a couple of recipes she’d spotted in a magazine earlier in the week. So we were safe at least until breakfast on Sunday.

I had called Asda back and asked them to re-arrange our order to be delivered on Sunday, but met with such stunningly apathetic and average customer service that our custom may well be finding its way elsewhere from here on in.

It took a while to get through to them as they employed the very customer friendly technique of a recorded message saying “We re busy, you will have to phone back later” before cutting me off. A master class in customer care if ever there was one.

I persevered, as after all, there was food at stake here. Upon reaching a human, I went through security checks similar to those undertaken at the safety deposit boxes in a Swiss bank, before being allowed to explain how I had been let down, and my wife had resorted to leaving the house, and was now baking some Jamie Oliver inspired dish that we’d both agree was pants at some point during Ant & Dec’s Takeaway later.

With zero empathy I was told that they were having “system issues” and were unable to rebook things at their end, but I could do it via the webs site. So, let me get this straight. The internal systems at Asda were broken, yet the web site was functioning fine, and would allow me to rebook?

I won’t bore you with what I do for a living, but it is something that allows me to smell a very large rat here. I suspect this translated to, we can take more calls if we refuse to help rebook orders, so we’ll spin some yarn about systems issues and let the mugs do it themselves.

“So” says I, “I just go online and re-schedule my order?”

“Erm, did you save your order as a list?”

“No, spookily I saved it as an order…as that was what I wanted it to be. You know, I order, you deliver, I give you money in return?”

“Ah, well then you’ll need to do the shop all over again. Goodbye.”

Stunned, I quickly browsed all and any supermarkets who deliver to see who had a slot for Sunday. No-one did, except Asda so I’m afraid I ordered there, probably for the last time. Our need for a shop was greater than my immediate need to protest.

So here we are again, scratching our heads at why an inch or two of snow, (believe me that is all we had here) can disrupt our lives so much. I feel immediately compelled to buy a Volvo, a turtle neck sweater and marry Ulrika Johnson. Sweden does snow without it being a national emergency.

I do appreciate that some parts of the UK have been very badly affected this weekend. Let’s face it the news has covered little else. It does puzzle me how these “roving reporters” seem to be able to navigate to any part of the country no matter how bad the weather and roads though.

It is vital to get an understanding of the fact that we have snow to have some berk stood on a country road mid blizzard with a big furry microphone. Otherwise we simply won’t believe the story!!

Sigh. All of this tells me that I need some sunshine, desperately. Yes of course I’d love to be telling you about an upcoming holiday, but right now I’d settle for some double-digit degrees here. With the weather like this it takes me so long to get ready to walk the dog that by the time I’m ready he’s gone to bed.

Oh for a few days where we don’t need the heating on, and the walk from the car park to the office is not like some scene from the Grinch.

It is becoming hard to believe that in this country we actually have days where I might be able to go outside without a coat on, never mind in daft things like shorts.

There is a condition I believe that is brought on by these dark, cold winter days. It is called being majorly pissed off and cold!

Till the next time…..

Now is the winter of our discontent.

17/03/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

The persistence of the winter weather is doing nothing for my lack of WDW blues. Or maybe the weather gods realise that as soon as I see daffodils and a couple of hours of sunshine I have to sacrifice a credit card at the altar that is Kayak.com.

My seasonal body clock is so conditioned to the spring booking of a holiday that maybe this prolonged winter is just God’s way of telling me that it isn’t to be this year. Or, perhaps we are now in a four-year long winter, like those off of Game of Thrones, and anytime soon I’ll be having dwarf sex and expressing my road rage by cleaving someone’s head from their incompetent shoulders with a huge sword fashioned from the bumper of a Ford Fiesta.

Strange days indeed. More strange happenings on Saturday when I found myself driving to the Trafford Centre, and I wasn’t at gun point. Instead, Emily and I were on a mission to deposit her CV and desire to work at the Disney Store there. The journey was horrific as someone had been incompetent enough to prang into each other on the M60 at a very inconvenient (to me) location.

Having taken much longer than it should, we battled our way through the throngs, using maximum body swervage and tuttage. A brief chat with a Cast Member, CV left, and we were off again back to the car, keen to spend as little time in that place as possible. If anyone happens to know the manager of said Trafford Centre Disney store do put in a good word.

On Friday evening, Emily and Rebecca went to watch One Direction at the MEN arena in Manchester. We booked the tickets well over a year ago, so the fact that band still existed was a bonus. Thankfully, at the ages of soon to be 16 and 18 they were more than capable of finding their own way there on the train.

Apparently, they had some obnoxious fellow travelers.

They wished they were not going in One Direction

Of course they loved the gig, had decent seats, and screamed a lot. Much as they did at the Jonas Brothers a year or two ago. Ah, whatever happened to them?

I of course was on pick up duty after the gig, and upon the girls texting me that the second to last song had started I joyfully trotted to the car and headed for Manchester at 10.20.

The fact that I didn’t get back home until 12.20am was a major cause of a sense of humour loss. Two hours you say? Why on earth would it take two hours? Well, the square mile around the MEN was at an absolute standstill. So there I sat amidst hundreds of other driver Dads in their slippers, looking at the 1Ders walking past us in the pouring rain and answering texts from impatient and cold daughters asking where the bloody hell we were.

I’ve done so many post gig pick ups over the years but this was the worst by a mile. Maybe EMO gig attendees walk home and don’t need Dads and Mums to pick them up? I suppose the average age at a 1D gig will mean that parents are more likely to drive them home, but I also noticed that the major road through the city centre had been pedestrianised since last I did this taxi run. At the risk of sounding like Alan Partridge, that didn’t help.

Can someone please reverse that before I have to pick them up from the MEN again please?

On the positive side, it meant that I missed a fair chunk of Comic Relief. Having had to dress up in 80’s fancy dress at work this week, and have “fun”, missing Lenny Henry’s “katanaga” for the twenty fifth year was welcome I can tell you. Me, miserable? Never. I don’t mind donating, just don’t inflict seven hours of folk being wacky and zany on me.

Does it make me a bad person that I really don’t want to hear Sharon from Huddersfield tell the nation she raised £300 by dressing up as a tampon and being dunked into a water tank?

The endless procession of Kevins from accounts dressed as teletubbies desperately trying to get into camera shot with oversized cheques just makes me want to self harm. No doubt I am going straight to hell, where I shall have to watch Davina McCall and Claudia Winkleman present inane tosh for eternity. It’ll be called Children in Red Noses Day.

Till the next time…..

A Smorgasbord of Success and a toilet.

10/03/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

This week this post will contain none of the usual bemoanment of woes, well not for the first few paragraphs anyway! This week has seen the Williams household bestowed with a cavalcade, a cornucopia, nay, a truck load of good news and success.

So bountiful has this week been, that I may have to resort to a bullet pointed list to record them….

Emily passed her driving theory test.
Rebecca got an A in a major piece of her Drama GCSE
Louise passed the first year of her nursing course, confirming that she can move onto the second year
Emily scored a C Grade in her Film Studies AS level

I am now just concerned that I’ve missed something off this list. You will note that I added not one jot to that list. I will have to be content with my natural every day state of awesomeness.

So yay, whoop and all those celebratory exclamations.

In other important news, Emily announced to us that a major attraction had made its debut at Walt Disney World. What is this major headliner attraction that had her all exited?

Was it a multi-million pound roller coaster? Was it the fantastically themed Be Our Guest restaurant in the new Fantasy Land?

No.

It was a new Tangled themed restroom.

Some of you may know that much of our WDW time can be spent in these places, hence the title of my first ever trip report, The Williams Tour of Florida Restrooms. So for some future point in time when we are able to return, this must now be crossed off our list of restrooms to visit.

To say that Emily is taking on the Disney obsession baton from me is an understatement. It is getting to the point now where she is my major source of WDW related news. From Twitter, Tumblr and YouTube, she is now a Disney knowledge sponge.

After our recent move over to Virgin for our TV services, with whom it is possible to sync your TV with your smart phone, enabling you to watch YouTube from your phone on the TV, she has done little else. Most viewings are WDW related.

So most of our Saturday evening was spent viewing a guided tour of these new loos, and less worryingly the new Be Our Guest place. Wow, what a reminder of how well Disney do this stuff. The quality and the detail of this themeing looks incredible, down to the snow falling outside of the large window.

Not having a trip on the horizon, I haven’t really paid much attention to the new Fantasy Land stuff. I sort of knew something was happening, but in sulky protest I have turned a cold shoulder to it. Emily to her credit is much less fickle, and is, as they say all over it or up in its grill.

For now it seems the pain of knowing she isn’t going any time soon is eased and not increased by watching it from afar. I am not so confident that I am the same way inclined.

This may be the first time that a child of mine acts more of a grown up than I. Actually, I’m sure that isn’t the case at all. Who am I trying to kid? It’s just one more step on the slow and steady journey to the girls wiping drool from my chin and changing my adult nappy. Hopefully we’ll get a chance to use the new Tangled restroom a couple of times before that happens.

Till the next time….

Cath Kidston and the £8 lunch

03/03/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

This will be a blog free from slagging off all the bands and singers you like and I don’t! I promise.

It has been a fairly ordinary week to be honest. Work wise I was once again down south in Head Office in Marlow. As much as the 4am start to get there for the beginning of play is painful, at least the roads are quiet.

Of course by the time the working day is ending the body is telling you that it has been far too long a day too, but the upside to the couple of days away is that it really breaks up the working week.

After driving back home on Wednesday evening, the bulk of the working week is done, and the weekend is almost winking at you with flirty intent.

To add spice, interest and exhaustion to this trip down south, on Tuesday after driving down to Marlow, I had a meeting in central London to do too. Every day is a school day of course, and I learned that as posh as Marlow is, if you want to get a train anywhere other than Maidenhead from there you have to change!

To get into Paddington took an age, with the stress of a thirty-second slot to make the connection.

The meeting was at 2pm, and as I am wired this way, I of course arrived early. Having had breakfast at a ridiculous hour, by the time 12.30 rolled around I was sucking the front of my coat to absorb the remnants of lunches gone by that had no doubt found their way down the front.

Not to fear thought I. As soon as I emerge from the tube station in central London, everyone knows that every other shop is a Starbucks or Costa, so securing lunch would be a breeze.

My meeting was near Harley Street, so I tubed it to Regent Park station. Right then, let’s get lunch sorted. A cursory glance raised a concern. Lots of very nice looking buildings of course, but a distinct lack of java.

So I seemed to have found the only area of central London without a Starbucks on each corner. So I had to set off in search of food. A good fifteen minute walk took me to Marylebone High Street, so I’d soon be in business here surely?

Alas, being one of the bohemian and upper crust areas of London, the array of shops left me underwhelmed. It was all Fromageries and Cath Kidston. Had I wanted to lunch on guava and jalapeno marmalade with a dark rye poppy-seed foccacia my choices would have been unlimited. Frankly, I was looking for a golden arches for familiar food and free WiFi.

It took me half an hour to find a Starbucks which was too full, so after a free wee, I carried on the search for food. Almost back where I started, I finally stumbled across Entre Nous. This was as downbeat as it got around here.

It was trendily run down, and by this stage it would have to do.

Eight quid for a cheese sandwich and a coffee later, and I purposefully sat in there for a full hour, at least getting some value from their heating for my £8.

Feeling ever so regional and non cosmopolitan I took my absurd accent off to my meeting.

It went well, despite me being distracted at my £8 outlay, and I was soon back on the tube, and then trains to get back to Marlow just in time to end the working day. By this time, I was more than ready for a quick evening meal (thankfully on expenses) and a swift retirement to the exclusive five star country retreat in which we are always housed when away with work. Despite an early night, sleep was fitful and interrupted, as it always is in the crappy beds provided.

Whenever I get home from these adventures, it certainly makes me appreciate my own bed.

The joy of it all is that I am doing the whole thing again next week, but before that I have a wonderful visit to the dentist to look forward to on Monday. It involves drilling, and I’m not happy. It must have been that £8 cheese sandwich that did all the damage.

Such is life.

As some sort of teaser marketing campaign, I shall …..erm…tease you by letting you know that I am working on a “secret project” at the moment and at some point soon I may reveal it to you. As an added bonus one or two of you might even give a toss.

Either way, I’ll update you and inflict it upon you as and when it is complete. Don’t bother guessing, it won’t be that, and I can assure you all it is NOT planning for a holiday!

Till the next time…..

Mumble and Sons – Step away from the Banjo!

24/02/201314/01/2014 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

I watched the Brits this week. Emily was the main driver for this, as One Direction were due to perform. Her taste in music is weird/eclectic, as she likes some bands that you won’t have (and don’t want to have) heard of, but every now and again she gets drawn to a commercial boy band like me to a buffet.

I’ve watched the Brits for years. Earlier in my life, I was in a band, and so had more than a passing interest in the business they call music, as I of course assumed it was only a matter of time before I was snorting Vim off of Wendy James’ backside whilst thrusting my recently won Brit up a Gallagher’s nose.

Alas, my lack of fringe, talent and luck prevented that from happening, but still I am interested in what is hip and happening. I do appreciate that using the phrase hip and happening makes that (and me) an oxymoron.

Now this isn’t a predictable rant centred around me wondering what happened to music, and how they don’t write decent tunes anymore. Let’s be honest, I grew up in a time when Sigue Sigue Sputnick and Joe Dolce had hits.

However, there is a massive amount of Emperor’s New Clothes going on today. What I saw on Wednesday was an endless parade of ordinary looking blokes with too much facial hair trotting out what appears to be the same miserable, throaty guff based around some sort of folk or country theme. In my book if your band contains a banjo, that’s probably one banjo too many.

I know that I’m not supposed to know who these people are. I’m in my forties for God’s sake. It isn’t about that. It is about what appears to be the ability to write anything approaching a decent melody. Instead there is a reliance on stompy grunge ridden pub music, or dour, moany laments sang by people who can’t even spell diction.

On the odd occasion now that I stumble back to Radio 1, driven away from Radio 2 by Dido’s latest aural enema, I don’t stay very long. Listening to the resident gimp telling me that their “Big Thing” or “Mahoosive Toon” of the week is so banging just gets depressing when the “song” in question is pretty much always some black guy talking over a sample of a song I didn’t like twenty years ago.

That’s another thing. Rap Music – Making the talentless rich since 1980. How I enjoy seeing these fellas on MTV cribs with their platinum encrusted houses and their baths made of human bone. I only have to mention the name Professor Green to prove the point entirely.

Sigh. I’m ranting. Is this just the inevitable turn of events of me getting old? Probably, but I can and do like new music. I am a sucker for a pop tune or a hook. Something that has been written with the express desire of making me remember it, and more importantly want to.

So the likes of this Ben Howard character, and the God awful Mumford and Sons can take their tweed, bad diction and their angst and do one. The fact that their record company, via Radio 1, keep telling everyone how good they are, does not mean that they are actually any good.

I know we're crap, but they keep buying our records!! — I know we’re crap, but they keep buying our records!!

I’d rather listen to One Direction to be honest. Take away the whole boy band hysteria, and whoever has written for them has done some really good classic, catchy pop writing, and it works. Sure, the latest effort is a crass, car crash like version of a classic song, but they wouldn’t want to waste anything written originally on a charity. There’s real royalties to be had with stuff that isn’t a cover!!

So with all of that, and Coldplay winning best live act, the Brits for me wasn’t great. Timberlake was OK. He can sing, and has that “I’m American” class about him. Watch and learn Robbie. I was too stunned by his Singing In the Rain abomination on Saturday night to really make any sort of comment. Just imagine me slack-jawed and confused starting at the telly. It was more Freddie Starr than Mercury. Mind you, I am probably the only person in the world not to be a big fan of him either.

Robbie Williams — Freddie Starr…no, maybe Norman Wisdom!

I’ll probably watch the Brits again next year, when some new unwashed twonk is singing almost in tune as their record label count the money. The least they can do to make it worth watching is have someone get drunk and dangle their rude bits in Adele’s drink. That’s what you call Rolling in the Deep!

Till the next time……

Prom Diddly Om!

17/02/201317/02/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

Well this is odd. I am looking out at the world at blog time on a Sunday and there is day light. There is day light and no snow. It may have been a little early for the flip-flops and mankini, but as I always say, I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly world.

Could it be that we are moving out of the bleak dark depressing claws of winter? I suspect winter still has something to say on the matter, but I have my fingers crossed.

Moving into the warmer months brings mixed blessings. On the plus side it means warmth, heating bills I can actually afford, driving to and from work in day light and not having to give Oli a full body bath after every walk.

The biggest downside is that I will have to shed my “winter coat” in order that I can once again fit into a T-shirt or two. The forgiving nature of those winter layers hides a multitude of sins, and there have been many sins to hide, and as usual I leave the depths of winter at the higher end of the register of my acceptable weight.

I am hoping that spring will deliver me some mojo, as for me to exercise, I need the basics, like a modicum of energy and the desire to leave the house. These two commodities have been severely lacking of a winter’s evening, but hopefully if I get home in the light, like some sort of overweight plant, I may absorb extra energy from the extended sunlight. My O Level Biology tells me that is Photosynthesis, which I think is probably also a Genesis album!

Subliminally I may have started my fitness regime yesterday. We visited the local cinema to watch This is 40. Now, I know you know me better than to imagine I didn’t indulge in any snackage, however, I did only indulge in one snack. I impress myself!

The film itself was very enjoyable.

I was expecting a fairly light gross out comedy, and there are definitely elements of that in the film, but it had much more substance and length than I had anticipated. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t Schindler’s List, but it had a decent story to accompany some real belly laugh moments.

If you do go and watch it stick around for the credits for some very funny out take moments from one particular scene.

It was a late showing, so we were back home late, almost midnight, which is a very late night for the 40 somethings in our house. Sleep soon followed.

After a resultant lie in, today has only consisted of a little tidying, and a spot of driving with Emily. My ability to remain calm despite my hatred of being a passenger is developing nicely. Still, I’ll be glad when she has passed, so that I can then just sit at home and fret about her being out driving by herself!!

Saturday saw Louise and Rebecca out shopping for Rebecca’s prom dress. Yes, we all know that prom isn’t until July, but apparently this meant we were cutting it fine! It only took a couple of hours to find “the one”, and I am looking forward to seeing it in a few weeks when we pick it up. Louise assures me it is lovely, and I will in no way reference the price paid for it….oh bugger!! Anyway, I’m sure it will be worth it. I mean Emily wore hers for at least four hours before storing it forever in her wardrobe. Can someone we know please get married so that she has an opportunity to wear it again!

Why Rebecca couldn’t wear this one I don’t know!!!

So for those also in the hunt for prom stuff, good luck, and I hope you win the lottery too!!

Till the next time…..

Is it August yet?

10/02/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

This blog would be a painful place if it were merely to host an ever-increasing level of moaniness between now and August, about how we aren’t going away. It is indeed going to be that, but I feel it only right and proper to tell you.

With that disclosure done, we go on. Oh arse, that just reminds me of Reflections of Earth.

That is the problem when you have spent every holiday since 1999 in WDW. To illustrate that point, whilst lay in bed this morning I also calculated that over the past eleven years or so, we have spent about 26 weeks in Florida. That’s more than half a year! We are practically residents. No wonder we are pining for home.

What could be similarly boring in a blog, is blogging about what you blogged about before. So we’ll do some of that too.

Last week’s blog (the doughnut burger experience) broke a few records in terms of readers. I was also really pleased to have the Teak Neighbourhood Grill spot it, and retweet it out to their followers and post it on their Facebook page.

How strange must they think we are that some seven or eight months after eating a burger in a bar in Orlando, we get together to recreate it, and then some idiot writes it all down!!

I got all sorts of reactions from all sorts of folks. People I never knew read my blog got in touch to express delight, revulsion and incredulity in fairly equal measure. As they say different strokes for different folks and all that.

So onto this week. As many of you will already be aware, Louise passed her first set of nursing exams this week. She was, as ever, convinced she wouldn’t, but in the end scored an impressively high mark. Her current placement is proving to be testing (to put it politely) but hopefully the positive news about her exam will gird her loins enough to get through it, and then enjoy the rest of the course. After this placement it is one year down, and two to go.

Whether we go to WDW or not any time soon, I am also planning our longer term trips (I am truly talented in this way, and I can have multiple trips percolating all at the same time), once she has qualified.

Not only will she earn more than she does now, but also both the girls will be out of full-time education, and we shall no longer be tied to the extortionate and sadistic mid summer flight prices. My heart is already leaping at the prospect of securing flights in the quieter periods of the year.

It will be like travelling back in time to when we first started going, and I sometimes do flight searches now for those off-peak times just to see some results come up that don’t start with a 7 or higher! It is both torture and joy combined.

Enough WDW whining I think.

We are getting used to Louise working shifts, including weekends. Yesterday it was just the girls and I, so I suppose that more or less made me “in charge”. We managed OK, and were even able to work the washer and attempt some rudimentary cleaning!

Today has been one of those lazy days, with us not getting out of bed till late morning. A delicious sausage and egg sandwich to start the day was then followed by, well, not a right lot really. I took Emily out for more driving, and she is really improving.

From the initial terror I felt sat in the passenger seat, I am now relatively relaxed when she is driving. Her overall control of the car is fine, and she can in fact actually drive now. The real work to do is around how to park, reverse and generally manoeuvre the thing at slow speed in small spaces.

Whether it is the heart wrenching fear and angst of their first day at nursery, their terrifying start at secondary school or them handling half a ton of metal at high-speed, they are just one long set of woe, worry and mietheration. The trick is recognising that this is all part of that often quoted Circle of Life, and trying to enjoy the ride, rather than shouting out STOP as she brings the car to halt seven inches short of that lamp-post as she parks the car up back at home. It is also important to recognise and appreciate that they are worth it too.

I’ll try harder next time, but I’m not that hopeful.

I shall leave you with a new picture of Oli, taken by Emily. For no other reason than I love it….

Till the next time….

If Mohammed can’t go to the mountain, make calorific food.

03/02/201307/02/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Staring down the barrel of our first non WDW year since sometime around 2001, the pain is becoming unbearable. So much so that on Friday afternoon in a quiet moment at work, I glanced back through the photos on my phone, and eventually came to the ones taken last August in Florida.

I felt the urge to tweet a photo of the now infamous Donut Burger from the Teak Neighbourhood Grill, stating how much I missed it. A retweet from Emily and a brief Twitter conversation with the sister-in-law led us to a Saturday night based around re-creating the dish here in the UK.

So between us we procured the required ingredients, and I kicked off the cooking.

In terms of ingredients, I suppose I should list what you might need, but to be honest it is fairly obvious. Anyway, we had ten diners and used –

Two dozen glazed Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
Twelve good quality beef burgers
Some maple cured bacon
Cheese
Chilli Fries (made by sister-in-law)
A selection of mustards, ketchup, BBQ sauce and mayo to suit all tastes

The burgers said to fry them, so I did.

With the bacon under the grill, as soon as stuff was ready I started to plate up. Before I did I quickly melted the cheese on top of each burger. Plating up is a bit messy, as the sugar glaze stuff gets everywhere!!

I had been afraid that the finished article would bear no resemblance to the real deal over in Florida, but I was pretty chuffed to be honest. To be fair, it isn’t the most technical of dishes!

Amongst the diners present, only Emily and I had actually eaten the real thing back in August, so I had no idea what sort of reaction there would be. Our other guests had been to Teak during their recent Florida trip just after Christmas, but had different dishes. My brother had tried (and failed) to polish off the Heart A-Teak.

I needn’t have worried. Everyone seemed to lap it up!!

That expression is I think a mix of disbelief and joy!!

Meat - good, burger - good, bacon - good! It's good!! — Meat – good, doughnut – good, bacon – good! It’s good!!

Rebecca and her boyfriend Tom were equally impressed. Tom is a fitness freak so I wasn’t sure how he’d react, but he wolfed it down. That burger, along with the chocolate cake and custard to follow rid him of his ugly six-pack in one go!

Don't interrupt my burger — Don’t interrupt my burger

Emily’s aversion to photos knows no end, similarly her love for this dish.

Nephew Jack had necked the lot by the time I had got to him. I took that as a good sign.

Niece Sarah was also won over!!

By this time plates were becoming clean and I had spent enough time snapping and I needed to eat my own!!

That didn’t take long, and with a choice of New York Cheesecake or Hot Fudge Chocolate Cake for “afters” everyone was soon suitably immobile, tired and I think happy.

Full of food and topped up with wine and beer we discussed how we should open an American inspired restaurant, with dishes like these, the obligatory eating challenge, and an old-fashioned traditional ice cream and American soda bar.

We had loads of great ideas, and between us probably enough knowledge and business sense. Alas, we lack the couple of hundred grand to get it going so instead we had another beer and finished off the wine.

So, in an attempt to fight off the lack of America blues I have managed to replicate that “none of my clothes fit” fear for my next day at work by consuming a ridonculous amount of calories. We also have no money, so we can almost pretend that we’ve just got back from Florida. Can’t we?

A couple of tweets and Facebook posts of said burgers drew a wide range of comments. All I will say is that those expressing revulsion, concern or sheer horror…..like all things in life, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

If any of you are heading to Florida soon, give the Teak a try, and tell them I sent you. Whether you have or indeed like the Donut burger, you’ll have a good time anyway.

Not that I’m missing the place at all…..

Till the next time…..

Murdoch vs Branson. Call me!!

27/01/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

I have had a Sky induced strop this week.

Being a sensible, mature adult, even mid strop I knew that it was an over reaction, and not really that important, but it did not reduce the venom by which I did what everyone does now when they are angry….updated my Facebook status about it.

Friday saw some snow. In fact it saw a lot of snow in these parts. Thankfully, due to some work appointmentage in the bustling metropolis of Manchester earlier in the day, I was at home when it started rather than trying to battle my way home through it from the office.

Said appointmentage by the way was in a section of Manchester called the Northern Quarter. This is the mecca for all things artsy and cool in Manchester, and indeed if you try to get in without a pair of converse and a pair of thick rimmed glasses there is a toll to pay.

I met with a design agency (get her!), and the office was pretty much the stereotypical version of what you might imagine it to be. It was an old mill style building, with one of those old style pull the door shut industrial type lifts. As I emerged into the office itself, I was immediately surrounded by retro cool jumpers and sarcastic T-shirts.

If you weren’t an Apple Mac computer or stripped wooden floorboard you were no use to them.

Anyway, the meeting was productive, the people were actually lovely, talented and very useful so all was well. I took my uncool M&S bedecked torso back into the real world, where I didn’t need to try so hard to be cool.

So there I was back at home mid afternoon, cracking on with some work, watching the first flakes of snow hit the ground. It soon turned into a fair deluge, and traffic thinned as the roads got worse and worse.

Anywho, such a sad sham is my life that one of the highlights of my week is the repeat of the series on TCM of Band of Brothers. I mentioned it last week, but that shall not stop me repeating my high regard for this programme. It starts at 9pm.

At 8.43pm I was told without any softening of the blow that no satellite signal was being received. I took this as a personal attack, and uttered a phrase I often quote when bad luck befalls me. “You couldn’t write this!”.

Our Sky dish is in a very lofty position, nowhere near any window, so I resorted to throwing snowballs at it in an attempt to dislodge the seven flakes of snow that were stopping me from watching my favourite programme. Of course, nothing worked, and with no signal I couldn’t even record them for later.

Naturally, Band of Brothers appears to be the only series currently on TV that isn’t repeated at least four times throughout the week. I even searched You Tube for the two episodes I was currently missing, but no joy.

My bottom lip knew no bounds as it protruded proudly to display my dissatisfaction with the world.

I constructed and dispatched a very strongly worded email to Mr Murdoch (or one of his underlings) outlining my outrage, and telling him that I wanted to cancel my contract forthwith, immediately and without delay. No bugger has replied.

So I have spent the weekend on the Virgin web site, pricing things up. It is pretty much like for like, but each have their pros and cons. Virgin have faster broadband, cheaper phone (for us) and very similar TV. Alas, one channel has stopped me from pressing the button on this change.

Virgin do not have Sky Atlantic. We do not watch it a lot, but I know that sometime soon the new series of Game of Thrones is going to appear and if I can’t watch that there will be a similar meltdown. Nothing comes between me and my dwarf sex and unlimited sword related bloodshed.

So that right there is a dilemma. I am leaning towards Virgin on principle really. It all depends now on who contacts me first, Murdoch or Branson. Let battle commence!

Oh and to add insult to injury, Tesco phoned us on Saturday to cancel our delivery due to the snow. Seriously, taking away food and Sky in the space of 24 hours is a risky business. This has Falling Down written all over it.

Falling Down — Where is my delivery Mr Tesco?

To save the day my brother and sister in law invited us for tea on Saturday night to prevent us having to eat toothpaste sandwiches. We had a delicious meal, and watched Dredd….in 3D on their clever new telly.

So Mr Murdoch I’ll have one of those fandangled 3D TVs as compensation for missing my programme, plus of course the box set of Band of Brothers!

Till the next time…..

Monkeys, gurning and a selection of anoraks

20/01/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

To avoid another bit of bloggage about the banality of January, let’s wander back through the years. My Mum popped round earlier with some old photos. Louise had been asking if she had any really old black and white ones that we could frame and hang, she didn’t just appear out of the blue with random photos.

From a vast collection of photo albums (remember those) we looked through just three. They were a mixture of really old photos of my Mum’s parents, and brothers and sisters through to some that were even in colour!

Before I shock and amaze you with my incredible levels of cuteness when I was younger, take a look at these of my Mum and Dad, or Tony Curtis and Doris Day…not sure which.

I think at the time of this next one my Dad was in National Service. It is amazing and scary to think that just a generation ago every male had to serve two years in the army! My soft under belly quivers at the prospect. I am under no illusion that my Dad spent those two years in peace time on a switchboard rather than on a front line somewhere, but still, two years in uniform is a prospect I cannot compute.

On a similar note, I have been watching Band of Brothers (again) of a Friday evening on TCM. It is probably one of the best, most compelling and watchable pieces of drama ever made, and this week was the one where they spent weeks dug into frozen holes with no supplies, ammo or warm clothes at the Battle of the Bulge. I simply cannot comprehend that experience either. But I digress….

Moving on a good few years, this next one caught my eye for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I look horrified, and second this was from a time when you could have your photo taken with a monkey outside of British Home Stores. Or was that just Bolton?

There is also some top anorak action going on here along with some top gurning from my brother, more of which later.

So onto the cuteness I promised you. I’m not sure if this next one is before or after the last, but my levels of cuteness only lead me to ask what went wrong?

Brace yourselves….

I’m pretty sure that is food around my mouth, so not much changes really.

As technology raced ahead, within only a few short years we emerged into a glorious world of technicolour, Polaroid cameras, large brown swivel chairs that only Dad could sit in, but for some reason still with dodgy anoraks.

My brother is one of those people who cannot have a photo taken without such an expression. I think there are probably only half a dozen of them in existence where he looks “normal”. Some of them are his wedding photos, but not all!!

It has been strange looking back through history. Looking at myself seems like looking at someone else. I sort of remember those times, but somehow see them as seperate to my life today. I wonder how the girls will see themselves in years to come.

It will be different I suppose, as their life will be captured in many and varied ways. Facebook and twitter have already captured their every thought in recent years, and with phones acting as cameras and video cameras, they will have a lot to reminisce about. There are moving images of my younger years of course, but they are on silent jerky “cine” films which are buried somewhere in my Mum and Dad’s house.

I suppose I can only hope they have more happy memories than otherwise, and of course that I manage to stick around long enough to look back with them. If Emily keeps taking corners on two wheels like she did again this afternoon, that could be in jeopardy.

Till the next time…..

Enjoyment, crying and being (Les) miserable.

13/01/201313/01/2013 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

I am contemplating a change in schedule. The fact that I write my bloggage of a Sunday evening may be giving them the slight tinge of melancholy. I know this will come as a surprise to you, as no doubt I hide my sarcasm, cynicism and moaning well.

I have given it some thought but I can’t think of another time of the week when I have the time, energy or inclination. We’ll see.

So how was the first proper week back after xmas? It is a strange time. Everyone is trying to lose weight yet the cupboards still groan with half a dozen selection boxes, some posh cheese crackers and a Luxury Christmas Pud. In my case I also had a bumper size Toblerone to deal with. I did the sensible thing and took it to the pictures with me on Saturday night. For any normal person that would mean that they need not buy any over priced Pick n Mix from said cinema, but you will know by now that was not how it went down.

I jump ahead a little. That was Saturday evening and an event of note took place that afternoon that I should share with you.

Having procured (at last) some almost affordable insurance that would allow Emily to drive the 1.0 litre beast that lurks in our garage, purchased some magnetic L Plates and girded my loins, we went out for the first time.

It felt a little surreal to be honest. I sat next to her with a fifty-fifty mix of pride and absolute terror as she pulled away from the kerb, to her credit, not stalling. For the next hour she drove around the local area on the roads on which over the years I have taken to her to –

Playgroup
Nursery
Infant School
Parties
Ballet Lessons
Junior School
Guides
Guitar Lessons
A&E
Secondary School
Drama Workshop
Drum Lessons
Gigs
College

Plus a million other journeys I have forgotten. All of sudden there she is operating an actual car, and being pretty good at it too. I remained calm at all times, with only a last-minute mild panic as she turned the final corner at about forty miles an hour in third gear. How we laughed!

We spent about twenty minutes practising her reversing, and its safe to say that is where we will be concentrating our efforts. Her theory is booked for early February, so it is time to give her as much practice as possible. Beyond the incentive of being able to drive, and of course actually being insured on a car to do so, losing the crushing expense of weekly lessons will be one I shall celebrate almost as much as when she finally passes her test.

So onto the evening activities. We had all been looking forward to watching Les Miserables since we first saw a trailer months ago. So Louise, Emily, Louise’s Mum and I were booked for the 7pm show. Rebecca had a prior arrangement at a friend’s party so she missed out.

We arrived early anticipating large crowds. We had pre booked our tickets but wanted to bag some seats that meant we were not on the front row looking up Russel Crowe’s nostril for the entire film.

As you know, a 7pm film will only actually start about forty minutes later, so I patted myself on the back for having the foresight to get some Pick n Mix as well as my enormous slab of Swiss chocolate. By the time it actually started a large dent had been made and I felt suitably sick.

The film itself was, in our view, fantastic. We already loved the music and the stage version so were probably highly likely to like a film version, but it was superbly done. Even Russell Crowe’s less than perfect singing voice could not detract from the enjoyment. I sat next to Emily, and heard a fair amount of excessive sniffing at various points in the film, but as the final rousing chorus was in full swing she pretty much lost it. This wasn’t just a dewy-eyed glimpse of emotion, but rather uncontrollable and full on sobbing that lasted all the way out of the cinema and most of the drive home.

This probably isn’t a reaction that would be commonly seen, but you have to bear in mind that Emily cries each and every time the WDW advert comes on. You know, the one about the teenager going there and spending time with her parents.

She cries at Glee (every episode) Up….and Toy Story 3, every single time she watches them. Personally, I think this is a lovely trait for a 17-year-old in this cynical day and age.

So if you are going to watch this film, you may get a little emotional, and you may not. I suppose it depends on your emotional state and make up, and I don’t mean whether your mascara is waterproof or not. Emily is going to watch it again on Wednesday with her friends. This time she tells me she won’t wear eye make up and will take more tissues. The small amount we took with us, knowing she may tear up were nowhere near sufficient!

It’s a long time since I watched a film that I needed tissues for, but that’s a different story.

Mind you if she takes another corner like she did on Saturday afternoon when I’m in the car with her I might cry a little, and need some clean underwear too.

Till the next time…..

Oreo Cheesecake induced pain.

06/01/201307/06/2020 by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

So the week just gone was rife with the pain and misery of the return to work. It has been many years since I had to endure going back so early after New Year so the pain felt was acute.

My early return was required mainly as I had a new chap starting work and felt it slightly unfair to allow him to spend three days sat wondering where the toilets were. Those three days felt longer than most full weeks, but I suppose that was always going to be the case.

The one positive from such a situation is that this initial pain is done and dusted and I can now sit and watch those endure it tomorrow as the late starters join me to sit still on the motorway tomorrow morning.

To make the week simply fly by, we have been enthralled and entertained by photos sent back home from those Williams’ currently enjoying WDW.

George and Piglet — Nephew George with Piglet

With the size of the party travelling, they are getting around on some sort of double-decker bus.

You can only imagine how images like this have been helping the diet

As is tradition on any Williams journey to Florida, a birthday is to be celebrated. This time it was my Dad who did it in his usual understated style. Apparently, he wore the hat all day.

Dad Birthday — Where did you get that hat?

They head home tomorrow (Monday), and if I were that way inclined to take solace from the pain of others, my own recently endured return to work woes will be a gnat on the arse of an elephant compared to that about to be endured by the returning tribe from Orlando. Apart from my Mum & Dad of course who will just go back to being retired and not going to work in a different country.

So if you have been one of those lazing at home for those wonderful extra few days since New Year, this is probably one of the worst Sunday nights of the year. I look upon you with a mix of pity, sympathy and gloaty supremacy. Don’t worry, as bad as you think it is going to be will be nothing compared to how it actually will turn out. I speak from recent experience.

Oh and after only a few hours at work, Louise and I had one of those text conversations that more often than not end up on a flights web site with a smoking credit card. Fear not, we remained strong, and no bookings were made. We were caught up in the madness for a few short moments but the sobering cost of flights and the lack of a method of payment that might be accepted swiftly brought us down to earth again……with an enormous and bone-shattering bump. It hurt.

So be warned, the pain of the return to work (especially if family members are sending you hourly updates of WDW activities) can make you do crazy things. Let’s be careful out there!

Till the next time….

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