E is for Vacuous Drivel

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

One of life’s biggest disappointments is that moment when you sit down with your evening meal, after a long day at work, hoping to find something entertaining on the TV to help you untwist your mind from the troubles of the day and every channel you turn to has adverts on (or The One Show, which is worse).

I have often wondered why all the commercial TV companies choose to air commercials at the same time as each other. Surely if you staggered the adverts to show at times other than quarter past and half past the hour you would snaffle all the viewers cursing as they channel hop to see anything other than the fat Go Compare bloke.

One day last week at such a time, discovering that the episode of The Big Bang Theory on E4 was one we had seen more than thirty times it was decided watching that was not an option. So a channel surf commenced, and with Louise driving we ended up on a channel called E!. At that time of night it seems the programme being aired was a “news” programme. The presenters seemed to be some sort of on air warning of the perils of eating disorders and one insufferable over the top English woman commenting on a “big story” about Prince William going to a wedding without Kate. She must live with them as the knowledge she had about their personal opinions and feelings was truly impressive. Surely her only real qualification wasn’t that she had an over exaggerated English accent.

Eat something!

I watched slack-jawed as about an hour of TV time was filled with gold such as this. They also seemed to specialise in another thing which really ticks me off. Why, oh why, oh why, do TV programmes feel the need to spend half of the programme telling what is “still to come” and then after the ad break before which they told you what was “still to come” they then re-cap what happened earlier.

STOP DOING IT! I’ve seen what was already on, it was only a few minutes ago and I don’t have a lobotomy. I don’t want to see what is “coming up” until you actually get to it. This TV equivalent of click bait drives me potty. The royal “story” I mentioned was trailed for half the show with something along the lines of “William is spending Easter with an old flame whilst Kate stays at home”. When we finally got to the story itself, of course William was going to South Africa to attend the wedding of a couple they both know and he was going alone as the flight was too long for the kids. Sigh.

Anyway, the climax to the whole show was an exclusive interview with some Kardashians. I’m not sure which two it was but they were female, although recently that is a little confusing too. Having been built up as something equal to an audience with the Pope the conversation centred around selfie techniques, what they had on and, the BIG EXCLUSIVE, one of them had, only that day, wait for it…….opened a Snap Chat account.

Frankly, I couldn’t cope with news this big and I spat my tea all over my lap. How had this news escaped me all day?

I can’t stand this mob. Any mother who can launch the “career” of their daughter with an orchestrated and well publicised sex tape needs burning at the stake. What an abhorrent excuse for a mother. Their need for air time is greater than their need for oxygen, which may explain their high-pitched whiny voices and vacuous nature.

These rank lower than the failed talent show folks desperately pedaling their wares in panto for eternity, as at least they have a small amount of actual talent for which they can be recognised. I would love to know what these Kardashian types put on application forms under occupation. I don’t think huge arsed media whore is a recognised profession by the Job Centre.

This rant, it could be claimed, is sour grapes. Absolutely. They have all the money I want and I am equally talented, although granted, not as easy on the eye. Mind you, should I undergo the same amount of cosmetic surgery I too could look like one of them….most likely their step Dad!

What is more worrying is the high esteem they appear to be held in by large numbers of young women. I really hope these are not the best role models we can muster for the young women of the world.

My opinion counts for naught of course, so I shall leave you with the best proof I can come up with that these idiots are a blot on the cultural landscape. One of them is married to Kanye West!

Till the next time……

Uncommon Common Sense

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

The biggest surprise of your week maybe the fact that we do not now have a fully booked US-based itinerary in the bag. We are for once demonstrating very un-Williams like common sense and taking our time over the decision.

There are a few things happening in the world of Williams that we need to see played out before we take the plunge so right now, I’m not sure what will happen. It didn’t stop me spending a good chunk of time last Sunday doing lots of looking around at options. The trouble with doing that is that the options then multiply, like some temptation filled amoeba, doubling on themselves at every click of the mouse.

Looking at places that are not so familiar to you has its challenges, such as needing to rely on Google maps and Trip Advisor to see if it is somewhere worthy of our hard-earned pounds. Every hotel on the planet has a number of reviews on Trip Advisor that make it sound like a mix between Alcatraz and a house featured on those OCD cleaner shows, so you have to take them with a pinch of salt, which it seems a lot of people have found in their bedding, amongst other unmentionables.

Life was probably easier when booking holidays before the internet. You took your 67 brochures home from the travel agent and spent an evening looking at misleading photographs of hotels. None the wiser you then went back to sit with the travel agent for a few hours whilst they made tippy tappy noises on their green screen VDU to secure your two weeks in Alcudia at a hotel that was three miles from the beach and not quite fully built.

Imagine that, two weeks, in one place……crazy thinking and different times. Now, in the world of DIY holidays and idiots like me who spend more time planning the trip than they do on it, the multi-destination options are more complex than the D-Day Landings. At this stage the world is our lobster of course and we may not even end up in the US, or indeed going away at all but that’s no reason to not have the fun of the possible in the meantime.

In other news this week I had a couple of days off work and spent it productively. After wasting time on nonsense like painting stuff round the house I invested a few hours in finishing off Season 4 of House of Cards. It is awesome. Clever, sophisticated and compelling viewing. You know you have a binge watch issue when you know exactly what time to fast forward to in order to avoid the opening titles on each new episode!

I enjoyed it so much that I have now started again from the beginning of Season 1, this time taking Louise with me. First time around I think Louise fell asleep during a crucial episode or two and I left her behind unable to wait for her to catch up. Watching for a second time is no less enjoyable. If you haven’t watched it, do yourself a favour and book a week off work to do so! Tell your boss I said it was OK.

Louise and Emily have a Once Upon A Time obsession which I just can’t get into. I’m not sure why, as it should, on paper, float my boat with all the Disney references but it never has. I do seem to prefer the more real-life type stuff when it comes to wasting hours of my life on Netflix. You know, real life type things like Game of Thrones!! There goes that theory.

Enjoy your Sunday.

Till the next time…….

Spring Means Only One Thing (again)…..

by mkingdon, posted in All This And More, mkingdon

Spring. The country emerges from the depressing cold tundra of traveling to and from work in the pitch dark, blinking and stumbling blindly into the unfamiliar sun. Lawn mowers are dug out of the garage or shed (the BEST thing about our current house is the absolute absence of any grass), people flock to B&Q on auto-pilot to buy Rattan furniture which will stay covered for all but six days of the wet summer and everyone posts on Facebook about their first barbecue of the year in that freakishly warm week we always get in April.

That’s what normal people do. What seems to happen to us, no sorry, Louise, is that the start of March triggers a Pavlovian response which involves the need to book a holiday. It’s as natural a reflex reaction as you’ll see from any dog hearing a bell at feeding time and so now we are wrestling with which planned home projects to back burner to facilitate said plans.

I should say any such plans will be for quite a different holiday this time. If we go at all, we don’t really know where to go. It will be much more beach based than anything we’ve done for the last decade and a half and who knows who will be in our traveling party.

One destination under consideration is the US of course. As we can go outside of school holidays these days (we are looking at end of September into October) we need to be looking at long haul to ensure the temperatures are high enough to satisfy Louise’s sun cravings and obviously southern parts of the states tick that box. Knowing Florida pretty well, it is tempting to head back there I guess, trying new destinations such as Miami or even the west coast of the state, which for some weird reason we still have never been too. There’s something about that Floridian beach culture that I really like. I’m no fan of the song really, other than the fond feelings and memories it conjures up of previous relaxing stays on US sand, but this sort of sums up the feeling I’m talking about.

The few days we spent at Key Largo on the beautiful private beach of the Hilton there have lasted long in the memory and this song takes me right back there along with the other Hilton we’ve done a couple of times at Daytona. The vivid colours of the clear Floridian sky, fluffy clouds (in between storms) and the white sand mixed with the incredible heat, and I just feel instantly relaxed. There’s a nice excitement at this stage of any planning. Aside from the key decision of whether we actually do go away or not, the almost limitless possibilities feel nice and that is just those available in Florida.

We paid a very brief visit to the Keys a few years ago and a return for a slightly longer stay feels justified. Naples was superb too or should we finally go to Clearwater, St Pete’s or Siesta Key? Of course, the old favourite Vero Beach then comes into the equation too. Do we go Caribbean? The Maldives look incredible but I may have to sell the house to fund that one. My brain hurts from the planning decisions and up until we actually decide to go I can enjoy wrestling with them. Is it strange that I enjoy this?

The knowledge we have of the sunshine state draws us back like a tractor beam. The (lack of) a language barrier, if you discount the fact that nobody in the US can pronounce my name of course, the food we love, the eateries we return to time after time and the knowledge that pretty much everywhere touristy delivers outstanding service make it a tough proposition to beat.

So over the coming days and weeks we can indulge ourselves in that lovely warm feeling of speculative holiday planning which delivers its own joy with no cost, up until the time you decide to actually go and have to press some expensive buttons on the internet.

Of course, for once, common sense may prevail and we will invest our funds instead on the things closer to home, like that new bathroom we need, some decorating and Louise has this crazy idea of needing a new car too. We’ll see. I may open up the betting market so that you can lay some money on what you think the outcome may be. I do know that this won’t be the normal Williams style of holiday. It feels right to do it differently now, whether that difference ends up only being that we’ll be in a slightly different part of the same place we always go to!

On a totally unrelated note some kind soul left a lovely review for my novel, All This And More, this week, so thank you for that as it means I can plug it again here without sounding overly needy to do so.

Till the next time…..

Geordie Bore

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

This week, thinking about what I could blog about I had two choices. I could either video myself drowning a kitten or I could have a moan about some national treasures. Not having a kitten to hand, I am going with the latter.

Ant n Dec….what happened? I’ve always liked them over the years and they have done fantastically well to have such a great career as presenters especially as Ant has trouble speaking. Their laid back, likable style has made watching them a pleasure and despite my complete hatred for all reality style TV, each winter I tolerate I’m a Celeb, mainly as I have no choice in my house and they make it watchable. That format too, I think, is getting dreadfully tired though and I wonder how long that can limp on.

Yesterday I was channel hopping in the afternoon and I stumbled across last week’s Saturday Night Takeaway. I turned over just as the “end of the show show” was starting. I watched it slack-jawed, and at times through my fingers as my toes had already curled so much they were not available.

Now, having seen lots of criticism of their recent hosting of the Brits, I held no truck with that. The Brits are a poisoned chalice and it doesn’t matter who presents them, they do badly. The cavernous venue just doesn’t lend itself to the close up intimate look to camera style of Ant n Dec so it felt false and corny. I thought nothing of it and moved on from the Brits and got on with my life continuing to wonder how Chris Martin gets away with singing a semi-tone flat in every song.

Now having endured the car crash of Takeaway I do wonder if they have gone full Tarbuck on us and are trying so desperately to channel Morecambe, Wise, Edmonds and Forsyth that they have somehow lost their own identity. I mean, what….is……this???

What do I not like about it? Well, it’s like a bad pastiche of a Carry On mixed with an episode of the Serbian version of the Generation Game. Random “celebs” just wandering about the stage gurning at the camera (What does Ashley Roberts do for a living?”) and Ant n Dec reduced to very bad pantomime performances. If this is the pinnacle of Saturday night entertainment I’d settle for a week full of Mondays. Novocaine for the masses served up in lovely bright colours. Still, they wear nice suits don’t they.

Come on chaps, this is poor and beneath you. I know they have been honest about mixing in old shows like Game For a Laugh, House Party and all those old classics, but they are old for a reason. The world has moved on, Edmonds is relegated to a dodgy game show on a minor channel and no-one has seen Henry Kelly outside of a re-run of Going For Gold in over twenty years.

Given the chance of a prime time TV slot on a Saturday please have some ambition. If we aren’t being asked to vote for some amateurs doing something they shouldn’t, we are subjected instead to this banal, hackneyed nonsense. It’s a shame lads as I really think you are good at what you do but this is TV tapioca. As a warning for where you are heading, can I just point you at this prescient piece of genius from Rik Mayall.

I doubt anyone will forgive me for this one, so if there is anyone still around next week…

Till the next time……

 

California Dreaming

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

Being almost permanently skint due to expensive kids and funding our holidays and lavish lifestyle in one of the Top Ten places to live in the UK (honest….look), our non working time activity tends to be dictated by whatever treats our £8 a month we give Netflix and my Amazon Prime membership can give us.

You’ve probably wondered in the past how on earth we have time to watch all the stuff we do as I have regaled you with reviews of all sorts from the unbeatable Breaking Bad to lesser, yet still entertaining shows. The trend, you may have spotted, is that they tend to be US shows. I don’t think this is a coincidence. There is simply something more exotic and exciting about watching a show set in the US than in Droitwich (apologies to the fine folks of that town).

I think it is burned into the DNA of many of us here in the UK, certainly those of my age, who were raised on shows such as Starsky and Hutch, The Dukes of Hazard and Knight Rider. Younger generations were raised on Lizzie McGuire, or whatever show was relevant to their generation too. None of those were outstandingly good of course but they just looked exciting and different from the grey Uk-ness of our daily lives.

Our latest binge watch sessions have revolved around the first two series of Ray Donovan and it has been great. This is set in (the very expensive bits of) LA, a place we haven’t been to and must, and it just looks great. Most of the most successful US shows rely on location to make them appealing to the eye. The sunshine helps, unless you are making some sort of Nordic Noir drama, then you go to Canada or Boston, but they still look great too.

It might be just me but I am a sucker for the TV non-reality of the States. All the traditions we try to imitate but fail, such as prom (ours just don’t seem the same having paid for two), the ball game and those leafy suburban streets with kids throwing newspapers from bikes onto freshly mowed lawns. Of course, those suburban scenes are those of the affluent upper classes and the gritty ghettos of the big cities might not float my boat as much.

My rational self knows that these cinematic scenes are not necessarily representative of real life. Having given emigration to the States more than a cursory consideration over the years I know that healthcare is a challenge, vacation time from work is limited, the politics are incredulous and sending your kid to school is only slightly less risky than deploying them to a war zone, but still, I can’t shake the dream from my mind. I guess America is a great place to live if you have money, much like anywhere, but I think more so.

Over the years of dreaming of such a move, our roots in the UK have been too deep and it never really was an option. Canada too has crossed our minds but family, jobs, schools and even bloody pets have meant it hasn’t ever come close to being a reality.

With Louise a nurse now our path into such a move may be easier than we might ever have found it. The kicker now of course is that with us in our mid-forties no bugger wants us, with our limited working shelf life and increasing health issues as we crash from middle age into our twilight years.

So I guess we’ll have to stick with Salford over Seattle and Leigh over LA, and whatever US scenery we can stream to our telly.

I know a few folks who sometimes read this blog have made big moves to new countries, so I’d be really interested to hear your thoughts and findings from your experiences. Don’t get me wrong we are not planning a similar move, I’d just be interested to know how you found it (and did it).

Till the next time…..

A Ranting Return

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

It’s been a while hasn’t it? All this trip report nonsense getting in the way of my pure gold blog posts every week. Welcome back. What on earth can I talk about now and will anybody care? Well, on the basis that hardly anyone will be reading this, we start with a rant….

So Facebook….it’s great isn’t it? It’s free, and ideal for keeping in touch with old friends, the sharing of vague emotional status updates, false bragging about how great our lives are and generally just seeking attention. That’s what it is intended for and I do most of those  on Facebook on a regular basis, as we all should. More than anything though it gives you a clear idea about which of your Friends on there might struggle to get themselves dressed of a morning.

Dear Facebook friends, I beg you to use the sense you were born with, the nouse you use in everyday real life when you are online. You would not act this way in real life.

Please, stop sharing right wing, made up, over sentimental, scam shite all over the internet. For example, you will often see….

Some school has banned the nativity due to nasty foreigners or people of a different colour being offended, share this to express your indignation.  Firstly, no they haven’t and even if they had what good is you clicking share going to do? Also, the old favourite…..

Someone is offended by a poppy…..again, no they aren’t. But then again I’m offended by a lot of things, like stupid Facebook stuff and Coldplay yet I don’t feel the need to start a Facebook meme about it that everyone then sees in their feed seventeen times an hour. Then we have…

For every share and like some company will donate some dollars…nope, they absolutely will not. Stop it immediately. Or maybe…

Facebook is trying to take this photo down, share it now. If Facebook cared about that photo enough to distract them from counting their money, then you probably wouldn’t see it in the first place…..do not click that shit!  One of my all time faves is….

Any post that ends with “and you won’t believe what happened next”. This translates to…this is click bait shite, please click onto this page and the other 100 pages you will be asked to click through to in order to generate a load of ad views/impressions on my advertising account…kerching. And I think we can all say Amen to….

Here’s a distressing photo of a sick child or abused animal…if you scroll down you are heartless. Type Amen. Sigh…really….just because some photo exists and someone has added some inciteful text to entice you to comment, like or share does not make it true. Facebook is not the news or some absolute source of truth. It’s social media and any idiot can post any sort of shite on it. Look, I’m doing it right now!!

a meme

Oh and those quizzes, like, see what kind of twilight character, squirrel or baked confectionery you are….well, that’s just you telling someone all your preferences and character traits so they can spam and annoy you with more ads. Your call!

If Zuckerberg is reading this (and he does most weeks) my one request for new functionality would be a “For all that is holy NEVER show me this again in my feed” button for that hilarious photo/meme or inspirational quote over that lovely scenic photo that I have already seen more often than my wife and kids.

Anyway, I know that 99% of my friends won’t read this, but please copy and paste it onto your foreheads because if you don’t, somewhere a small puppy will burst into flames due to ISIS or some other bogey man that triggers an irrational fear.

and yes…I’m OK hun! 🙂

Till the next time…..

The Adults Only Tour 2015 – Day Nineteen

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Day Nineteen – 14th September

Who knew that a holiday that started on the 27th of August 2015 would last all the way until mid-February? In more ways than I could ever describe, it has been one heck of a journey.

No matter how hard I try, our last day and our journey home never have any decent notes recorded. It isn’t intentional, I just can’t seem to bring myself to record this day. So I’ll do my best with the half a page I do have and the handful of photos, but your reading may be brief today.

I had another fitful night’s sleep before the alarm woke me at 7am. The next couple of hours saw the traditional Tazmanian Devil impression as we dash around the villa trying to get everything into our cases. Inevitably this involves the purchase of an extra case, which I nipped to CVS to do before we were able to finish and leave the villa at 9.45. It took an act of God to fit everything into the car and Grandad and I were a little hot and sweaty as we reversed off the drive.

A huge breakfast was now required, so we drove up to the 192 and I decided upon the Perkins, mainly as it was the first place we saw.

We were seated and ordered orange juice, coffees and in some cases chocolate milks.

I didn’t record what everyone had but you’ll get the idea from these photos.

We paid $103 plus a large tip made up mainly of all the change I wanted to get rid of. They didn’t seem to mind.

Next on the list was a trip up to Lake Buena Vista, where, being the coward I am, I put $10 of fuel in the car. With everything else going on today I wasn’t mentally ready for a game of Russian roulette with the fuel gauge.

Just when we thought that the car was about to burst at the seams we stopped off at Publix near Emily’s apartment to stock her up one last time before she would be left to fend for herself. The mood today was sombre as you can imagine. Not only were we going home, but of course one of us was staying behind and after knowing this day would come for many months it wasn’t making it any easier. It didn’t feel real.

Anyway, as we started wandering the aisles of Publix Louise had to nip to their loo. She found us again afterwards and on we went with the shop. A few minutes later she stopped in her tracks with a look of panic on her face. It would appear she had lost her phone. She dashed back to the loos to see if it was there. She knew she had it as we entered the store and so it MUST be in there right?

Wrong!

She went to Customer Services to see if it had been handed in there but it hadn’t.

I started to incur huge data roaming charges on my own phone now trying to contact Vodafone to block the thing and report it lost. This was, pretty much, the last thing we needed amongst everything else that was going on.

It was about this time that Louise realised that she hadn’t lost her phone at all and that it had been stuffed down her bra the whole time.

How we laughed.

Already emotionally spent, we took all Emily’s food and her new iron back to the car and somehow packed it in with everything and everyone else. As we set off for The Commons we all knew we were coming to the time we had all been dreading. We were about to drop Emily off for the last time.

I won’t document this in great detail. I have a history of over sharing our stuff all over the internet so let’s not and just say that it was difficult, and it isn’t something I want to experience again.

Despite my $10 investment we still coasted into the airport on fumes with my heart racing. Maybe that wasn’t due to the low fuel?

Having booked Premium Economy for the home leg we checked in quickly and easily, got through security and then monorailed out to gate 81. Louise, Rebecca, Sarah and I got a table in the Outback. We weren’t hungry but fancied a sit down for a drink. To be polite we ordered some cheesey fries too.

With this done I wandered off to the restroom to put my long pants on. This is a symbolic event every year and denotes the end of the fun. Today it felt more sombre than usual.

We wandered duty free for a bit and then as we eventually went to board the plane which had been delayed for half an hour it struck me very hard that I had three passports in my hand and not the usual four. My stomach churned.

I know I’m over egging this upset malarkey, and even looking back now I sound like a big girl even to myself, but at the time, this was how we felt and so I’m reporting it as such.

My notes end here. I will openly admit that Louise and I cried like babies as the wheels left the tarmac of Orlando. It felt strangely symbolic and the last twenty years flashed before our eyes. All the holidays, all the times we’ve flown home together and all the challenges Emily would now have to face on her own. Sure, she was twenty, but a young twenty and it was our job to look after her, both then and forever.

We eventually gathered ourselves somewhere above the Atlantic and the flight happened. We landed, waited an age for our cases and got ourselves home.

So there we are, the end, in many ways.

It’s been a blast over sharing these adventures with you all over the years. Our return home this time was an arrival into a whole new world. Louise and I returned to an empty nest, with Emily in the US and Rebecca and her boyfriend Tom getting their first place together. Both of those departures had been a long time in the planning so we knew it was coming. It didn’t make it any easier and I think we’ve both taken a while to get used to the idea.

So at this ending of an era, I suspect there won’t be any further trip reports. It feels that way anyway, mainly as there probably won’t be any more holidays of this nature. The days of the four of us going away will now be forever captured in these reports. Any future Disney trips will be very different I’m sure and not for some time and that weirdly feels OK to be honest.

We’ve been through some huge changes and challenges as a family in the last year or two with more to come no doubt.

So now, I need to thank you for reading this one and any of the others if you have. Writing these has been a huge part of our, or certainly my, enjoyment of these holidays. Louise, Emily and Rebecca, I thank you for letting me write them, tolerating the note writing and photo taking along with allowing me to share things you’d rather I didn’t with a load of strangers on the internet.

Girls, at least when you have kids of your own, you can look back on these trip reports and let your kids know how many knob gags their Grandad knows!  I’m waffling now as, to be honest, I don’t know how to end this. Bringing well over a decade of reports to a close isn’t something I know how to do, so how about a few memories from them?

It’s been a blast.

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Till the next time?

The Adults Only Tour 2015 – Day Eighteen

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Day Eighteen – 13th September

For any serial WDW visitor, there’s a phrase which strikes fear and dread into their hearts.

Last full day.

Here we are, after all this time, with just one more day here. Those of you who know anything about us will probably be able to guess which park we would spend such an occasion in. We were headed for Magic Kingdom of course, but aiming to be consistent with the rest of the trip we obviously decided to have a lie in. To be fair, my notes tell me I had a rough night, probably brought on by the thought of not only our last full day, but leaving one of my daughters behind too.

With this unintentional lie in I found myself on the PC shifting our FastPass bookings to later in the day. Of course, by doing this on the day I was now booking FastPasses for the monorail and to watch a trash can get emptied on Main Street.

With the morning a bit of a write off some packing happened and with that pretty much done we left the villa at 12.30. This wasn’t as bad as you may think as we wanted to stay until parades and fireworks tonight so this later start may give us a fighting chance.

It was raining. The weather making its own comment on the mood surrounding the end of the trip. We parked in Scar 119 and were in full poncho as we trammed into the TTC.

As we left the monorail the rain stopped. It is where dreams come true after all. I had my sack handled by an elderly US gent for the last time, Ryan had a cigarette and recovered as we took some photos.

As usual at the end of our summer trips, Halloween was in full effect on Main Street.

More photos happened as there was a definite sense of the impending departure minus one of our party.

Here we see what happens when two different people are taking your photo at the same time.

All trip I had been putting off visits to certain shops using the excuse that we needed to wait until Emily had her Cast Member discount, and then when that ran out, the age old “I don’t want to carry that around all day so we’ll come back at the end of the holiday”. Today neither of those were any good so we spent more time than I would ever want to in the Pandora shop on Main Street. Louise bought some earrings that were worth more than her actual ears.

Nana and Grandad spent some time chatting with a Cast Member in the shop whilst Louise and the girls spent more time choosing jewellery than we did our last house.

Of course having arrived at the park half way through the day, every ride had wait times almost as long as the time we spent in the Pandora shop. So we deployed the “everything is busy” strategy of wandering about and looking at stuff. The first thing we looked at was the new Circus area where Mickey and Minnie’s house used to be.

There’s a feeling that this isn’t for us as we no longer have children to which this relevant. Stuff moves on of course, but I will forever have Mickey’s house in my heart alongside the mental images of my very young girls within it.

We decided to catch the train and do a loop of the park.

As we waited for the train there was a rescue situation. A tiny turtle was sat on the rail of the train track about to find out that its shell was no match for a couple of tonnes of train. The Cast Member on the platform was told about it and he bravely made his way out onto the tracks and moved it on into the bushes, thereby saving a few hundred kids an experience that may well have scarred them for life.

Just in time….

We stopped at Main Street but didn’t get off.

We alighted (got off) at Splash Mountain and went into the shop there as we certainly weren’t getting on the ride. Inevitable hat trying ensued.

We bought Emily a fluffy blanket that had a hood. An essential I think you’ll agree.

We walked past Splash heading for Country Bear Jamboree. Yep, that’s how busy all the real rides were.

Having not seen this in years and of course Sarah never had, we enjoyed it more than we thought we might. We made our way then over to the new area to find Gaston about to appear. However, his queue was already full and closed to new guests, so instead we loitered at the front of the queue watching him interact with those who had waited since last week to see him.

Gaston found time to flirt with the girls as he spotted them taking photos of him.

Thankfully we were now approaching one of our FastPass times so we slowly wandered down to Space Mountain taking more photos as we did.

We did the People Mover to kill the last bit of time and to rest our legs.

At 5.05 we got on our first ride of the day, but to be honest we felt no sense of having not had a nice day so far. Sometimes it’s about where you are, not what you’re doing.

Space Mountain was fast and bumpy and my notes classified it as “full clench”.

Nana and Grandad had gone shopping rather than ride the mountain so we now met them on Main Street as we were now, having done one ride, heading out for our evening meal. We caught the boat headed for Trail’s End.

 

This is one of the nicest ways to make your way to food.

We arrived at 6.05 and checked in for our 6.15 reservation.

This is a buffet affair and so what followed was bordering on warfare. There are no photos as what happened was not pretty. Having gone all in on the superb food, dessert was not an option, but to be fair, the corn bread was cake anyway.

As we left we spent a little bit of time talking to the horse bloke. I suspect that isn’t his official title.

As we waited for the boat back to Magic Kingdom my favourite time of day, in my favourite place happened and for once my camera did a half decent job of capturing it.

Dusk in and around Magic Kingdom is just lovely.

The beauty of those photos were stark contrast to the absolute chaos that we found on Main Street. The first parade was about to happen and it was just madness. Keeping a party of seven together was a challenge but we somehow made it all the way to Thunder Mountain and used our FastPass.

By the time we had done that it was 8.45 and we headed for Main Street again to try and find an inch of space to watch Wishes and the parade. It was brutal. Busy does not describe it. We found a spot literally half way up Main Street in the middle of the street.

About here…

I have long since given up trying to capture Wishes on camera and we just stood and watched full of all sorts of emotions. Emily cried throughout.

Afterwards Louise and I had to battle the shops to buy gifts for everyone we hadn’t yet whilst everyone else went to find somewhere to watch the parade. That shopping experience wasn’t pleasant. The shops resembled a crowd scene from Ghandi but somehow we gave Disney a large amount of money and left to find the others.

By some miracle they had managed to secure a spot up on the balcony near the train station. After a ten minute wait the parade started and from the few hundred photos I attempted here are the few worth sharing.

Leaving the park was expectedly chaotic and we opted to take the resort monorail as the normal one was just madness. The trams were also packed and after a fair bit of waiting we finally got on one and got back to our car at 11. As we had sat on the tram waiting for the 612 safety announcements and checks there was a family in the queue going absolutely mental at the family sat in front of us. It was all in Spanish so I don’t know what they were saying, but they were clearly upset that they had not been able to board. As the family in front of us didn’t speak Spanish either most of the tirade was wasted. Everyone was tired and emotional at this stage.

We stopped off at CVS on the way home for water and some throat spray….yes I was STILL ill. We were in bed by 12 completely spent.

Till the next time……

The Adults Only Tour 2015 – Day Seventeen

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Day Seventeen – 12th September

If you look back at my numerous, previous trip reports and had to summarise them, there are a few ways to do so, but in my mind they are pretty much just diaries of how to fill the time in between eating with the more than occasional knob gag.

Today is going to be a great example of that, as it is all about getting stuff into our bellies and little else.

We did not wake until 9am which is a good sign that the holiday is coming to an end as our body clocks are finally starting to make sense. Incredibly we were in the car by 9.45 which is quicker than we ever have been when it mattered on a theme park day.

We got to the Commons at 10.15 to pick Emily up and were soon pulling into the car park of The Beach Club. The plan today, having missed our reservation for it the other night thanks to our dodgy sat nav, was Beaches & Cream. Having no reservation today we figured arriving at opening would give us the best chance of getting a party of seven into one of the most popular, yet smallest eating venues on Disney property. God loves a trier.

Every time I am in this location I remember how much we loved staying here in 2010 and I always make a mental note to remember that if we ever book another trip.

After talking very nicely to the young ladies on the podium our only option was to sit at the counter in about an hour. We agreed to that, having no choice of course, and decided to have a walk around the Boardwalk area to kill the time.

We bought some gifts in Screen Door and had a general browse before catching the boat back to Beaches & Cream at about twelve. With buzzer in hand we still had to wait another half an hour to be seated.

For me there was no need to look at the menu as I knew I was having a Kitchen Sink. The fact that the girls opted to join me was fine. Everyone else opted for normal food.

It is indulgent beyond measure and despite our best efforts, including ordering tactical salty fries too, we just couldn’t finish it today. I am suitably ashamed.

The bill was $125 but I was too full and close to a sugar coma to care.

Next on the plan was a trip to (the very newly named) Disney Springs. We were directed to park in a spot near the Casting building across the road so we did.

As usual when shopping we splinter into smaller groups, so Nana and Grandad made their own way to procure the relevant gifts for the grandchildren not currently with us. The rest of us spent an age in the World of Disney and Louise bought me a lovely Mickey watch for my recent birthday.

We got ourselves a much-needed drink and sat on the benches near the stage area before continuing into Marketplace and Once Upon a Toy. Earlier in the holiday, near a face painting location, Sarah had refused to have one done as she was fully made up. She promised Rebecca that the next time we saw somewhere to have it done she would and Rebeca could choose. So….

All shopped out we left around 4pm and went back to the villa. There was some pool action for a while.

Then we had to get ready for our evening plans, which were, to my absolute delight, Teak Neighbourhood Grill. We were out by 7.30 as due to a twitter exchange with Teak, they had reserved us a table at 8pm. The journey was awful as it was raining. That word doesn’t really do justice to what was happening but it’s all I have. We arrived, ten minutes late and I was exhausted from the tension of concentration and the fear of death.

As we walked in we were immediately escorted to our reserved table and welcomed like honoured guests. Over the years a good number of folks have gone to Teak and told them that they heard about it from my trip reports/blog so we have often chatted on twitter etc and as and when we recreate the famous Donut Burger at home we always send them photos.

The welcome that awaited us tonight was something none of us expected or deserved. John and Tony, the owners, greeted us and stood at our table chatting for ages telling us about the number of times I’m mentioned from Brits eating there. If I had an ego it would have been nicely stroked. We were given an exclusive sneak peek of their soon to be released new menu which looked awesome (and will be launched by now of course.)

Sorry for the blurry photos…

We also had a look at their incredible beer selection which wasn’t something I had been too aware of, having always been driving.

The beer cocktails look amazing. We were even given a couple of samples of the newer items they are now serving.

That, and a pumpkin beer, served with sugar around the glass rim were my favourites.

We ordered –

Me – Cronie burger and garlic fries

It is no over exaggeration to say that this is one of the best things to ever be in my mouth and so deserves two photos. That cronut is an improvement on the Donut Burger I have had in the past and those garlic fries are just beyond delicious.

Emily – Donut Burger

Sarah – Chicken Tower Sandwich

Grandad – Chicken Breast Dinner

Nana – Crab Cakes Salad

Louise – Beef Sandwich with dip and garlic fries

This was THE best meal I can remember. Everyone was just blown away with the quality of their food and the flavours were just ridiculous. Being so full we were close to death, we refused to order dessert. Undeterred, the owners introduced us to their executive chef who arrived at our table with a dessert sampler to share.

Again, incredible.

Just when we thought the night couldn’t get any more special, the owners arranged for Ashton Kutcher to be our server! The girls were happy.

I had an incredibly unflattering photo taken with the owners showing exactly where all that food now was….

If you have read anything I’ve written in the past you will know that I have raved about Teak for years. Every time we go it gets better and some of the new menu items they have brought out are incredible. They even have a secret menu that you need a password for (Like them on Facebook for that).

We have eaten at the poshest of the posh Disney restaurants and most of the major chain places in Florida. What we love about Teak is that it feels like an authentic locals place, and that really comes over in the atmosphere. It is our favourite without any doubt.

Feeling full and humbled to be treated so nicely by everyone there we left around 10pm having given the biggest tip in my history of tipping.

An awesome night.

It will not surprise you to know we were home and in bed as quickly as humanly possible.

Till the next time…..

The Adults Only Tour 2015 – Day Sixteen

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Day Sixteen – 11th September

I’m afraid the theme park thing didn’t last long and today I must warn you of two things.

  1. As today was our visit to Typhoon Lagoon, on this dull, cold January day this report will include photos of glorious Florida sunshine, blue skies and temperatures you can only dream of.
  2. There may well be images, possibly only mental ones, that may drive you lady types crazy as I spent the day in just my shorts. I shall pause just a moment to allow you time to process that.

You can take for granted that everyone was awake and up later than we needed to be. I had been quite chilled about our departure time, knowing that Typhoon Lagoon only opened at 10. My chill had vanished by 10.05 when we finally left the villa.

Obtaining shade at a Florida water park, in the summer can literally be the difference between life and death. Ok, I may exaggerate a little but it can certainly be the difference between third degree burns and skin you can live with.

I always wonder why there is so little shade provided at these places. Are US folks equipped with sun repellent skin? Is it some form of collusion with the medical centres of Florida to provide them with endless business with guest after guest trotting off to Centra Care with sunstroke?

It seems so un-Disney, who are normally so concerned about their guests welfare that the tram from the car park has more safety announcements than the steel tube that takes you over the Atlantic.

Anyway, I digress. We arrived at 10.40 to a car park empty enough to suggest that we may be able to find some shelter.

There are many signs that we may have been to WDW more often than we should. One of them is that we have “our spot” at Typhoon Lagoon. Once through the gates we headed there hopeful of finding it empty. We did, and we did the usual dragging around of sunbeds and chairs until everyone was happy with the exact position of their chosen implement of leisure.

Our spot is such as it is covered by a good number of palm trees and once we are in it, it is small enough for our flabby milky bodies to deter anyone else from joining us there.

This is the view from our spot. You are only allowed to use our spot on the occasions we are not in Typhoon Lagoon.

For the next few minutes we all stood and sat around rubbing cream into our bodies. At no other time is this socially acceptable…just in case you were wondering. Tradition dictates that as soon as I have sun cream rubbed into my skin I should immediately go into the wave pool so that it can be washed off. So that’s what we did. That we was me, the girls and Grandad.

Great fun was had by us all being battered by the waves. At times like these I curse my rubbish eye sight as without my glasses on my view of the lovely environment is hindered. Sensibly, I do not wear my glasses in the very rough wave pool and thankfully it also means I can’t properly see those pesky lifeguards with their bright red swim suits.

Alas, Grandad is a little less sensible and entered the wave pool with his sunglasses. We can now add those to the list of stuff he lost on this holiday. Somewhere in Orlando some chap is walking around with a lovely watch and a pair of sunglasses.

When our bodies could take no more from the waves we retired to our places of rest and did some of that. I read for a bit. Having been in the blazing sun for over an hour Louise then took Sarah off to do some slides and rides. The rest of us stayed….in our spot.

Soon enough lunch time rolled around. Technically it was about 11.30, but we are on holiday so what are you going to do? I have to say that our lunch experiences here have been average in the past and today was to be no different. We chose from the usual selection of burgers, chicken sandwiches and salads and sat on one of the benches in the bird shit zone.

Once we’d had enough food, or rather didn’t want to eat any more of it, we fed the birds around and about us. We then had a lengthy debate about whether feeding one of the birds some chicken was breaking some law of nature.

After food Louise, Sarah and I did the lazy river. I’m sure there’s very clever scientific explanation for this, but they seemed to be travelling much faster than I was. I had a double ring, which is quite a rare medical condition I’m told, but I’m not sure why that explains why they soon vanished into the distance. I lay back, closed my eyes and didn’t worry about it, until some little shite sprayed me with cold water from the side of the river. I gave him the speech from Taken as I floated past and I’ve never seen a six year old run so fast.

I’m not sure how many times I went around as I didn’t take any notice of the little sign at the place I got in. At some point that afternoon Grandad appeared beside me but I have no idea how he found me. We floated for a little longer until we had to go back to our spot for more resting. A few of our party moved down to the shallows of the water to sit there for a bit as they were pretty well done at that point. Inevitably during the afternoon I had to restroom so I wandered off to find one. It was close by, but I’m not sure if the water feature at the entrance was intentional. The door was underneath one of the slides and there was a constant waterfall of freezing cold water flowing from above the door.

My need to get rid of some water overrode my reluctance to walk through some, so in I went. I was drenched and again on the way out.

For a change we did not have to leave mid-afternoon due to a huge thunderstorm and we left voluntarily at 4.45. Every one of us were feeling the sun’s effects and once back at the villa the showers were a little more painful than they should have been.

We left for dinner at 7.30 heading for Romanos. We had a fairly typical twenty-minute wait browsing the menu before being seated and greeted with the usual fresh bread and oil dip. This simple affair is one of my favourite things on the planet.

We had –

Me and Grandad – Shrimp Portofino

Nana – Penne Rustica

Rebecca – Italian Bake

Sarah – Flatbread (my apologies for this photo)

Louise – Mama’s Trio

We all went big on desserts tonight with five cheesecakes and one chocolate cake finding their way to our table. With a few wines the bill came to $195 including tip.

You may be amazed to discover we felt very full, again and went home immediately to go to sleep.

Till the next time….

The Adults Only Tour 2015 – Day Fifteen

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Day Fifteen – 10th September

Hooray and Hurrah, we’re back in a theme park today and I have notes that expand over multiple pages. My excitement at this prospect clearly was not shared by those I am allowing to share this trip with me. My daily moan about leaving late should be inserted here along with my grumpy attitude and protruding bottom lip.

This childish strop isn’t purely driven from my desire to get to every theme park at opening (as if we’d ever manage that beyond day one). With this new concept of booking your rides in advance, I had spent not an inconsiderable amount of time months ago setting out the schedule of the day ensuring that we got on more than the tram from the car park. Balancing that with the concept of this being a holiday is a struggle shared by every Florida holiday planner I would imagine.

Once again our journey to a park was spent (by me) glancing at the clock and the speedo calculating constantly whether the reading on the latter would mean that we got to Epcot at a point on the former that would work. The added pressure today was that the first FastPass was for Soarin’, the favourite ride of several of those in our group (Louise excepted). We dumped the car in Amaze 36 and waited for what felt like three days for the tram to arrive. My teenage sulk was now off the scale. It was around now that I realised (again) with the turnstiles and bag check still to do that you need to allow about an hour or more from leaving your villa to the time of your first ride.

Everyone knows that every villa in Florida is “only fifteen minutes” from Disney. Right?

After all the travelling, checks and swiping of things we stood on the right side of the entrance looking at the big shiny ball. After allowing about four seconds for that, knowing that we had exactly six minutes to get to Soarin’, we struck out, at my pace, to get there. Knowing what you know about the geography of the place, do you think that’s possible, with two of your party in their seventies?

I can’t say that we chatted much on that march, or smelled too many roses, but somehow we swiped our Magic Bands at the entrance to Soarin’ with the clock still showing 10.00 exactly. I don’t work this hard for a living!

Of course, we still waited ten minutes to board even with a FastPass but that gave us a chance to get our breath back and stop sweating. Louise got through the ride somehow despite her irrational yet very real fear of heights/flying. We were out by 10.25 and now the camera is released to record images of the day.

Worth the wait I think you’ll agree.

We turned left as we left The Land heading for The Seas. We entered of course via the Nemo ride which was a walk on and nice sit down. We spent the next hour or so wandering about looking at stuff behind glass.

We watched the manatees eating for a bit and finished our journey to the deep with the Crush show. I know this is aimed at young children, but frankly it is wasted on them. I urge Disney to do an adult version which could be very funny I think.

We emerged into the sunlight at 11.45 heading for our next FastPass which was Spaceship Earth.

We were a little early. Yes, that’s right, early. It’s no good now!

We spent five minutes in the shop near the entrance buying stuff we didn’t need before marching majestically past a sizeable queue with the smugness of Piers Morgan.

After looking for our funny faces on the big screen as left, we headed for Test Track to see how long it would be broken down for. After watching the Jamminators en route we were amazed to find it operational. The posted thirty minute standby queue was right at the end of our tolerance for a queue but we joined nonetheless hopeful for a shorter wait. Alas, it was the full thirty, but with the designing of our car it passed fairly painlessly and we all enjoyed the ride.

After all this fun and stuff it was inevitable pay back that we now had to spend some time in Mousegear. Hadn’t we done today’s shop browsing in the five minutes before Spaceship Earth? We bought stuff, but I didn’t record the details in my notes as the pain was enough first time around.

We moved on to what would be our last ever viewing of Captain Eo, although we didn’t know that at the time. Oddly, this was always in Rebecca’s list of top attractions. Her childhood love of MJ had never diminished and ever since its return this has been a must do. Oddly, there was no wait for this one but despite the half empty theatre we did of course move all the way to the end of the row.

After those few minutes of 1980’s funk we stopped at Ice Station Cool and introduced Sarah to Beverly. You can only imagine the delight of having someone new to play this trick on.

What you need after drinking some Beverly of course is to ride something which can soothe your stomach, so we set off for our Mission Space FastPass. Nana and Grandad opted to sit this one out as the first time we took them on they felt ill for about two and half years afterwards.

Of course we had to choose the Orange experience, as this would be Sarah’s first time. I have noticed, as the years go by, that my propensity to feel as rough as a dog after this ride increases. It is only a matter of time until I emerge from the pod with carrots and sweetcorn all over my bright white trainers. I haven’t eaten either of those since the late nineties but I know that doesn’t matter.

With thankfully clean trainers we left Mission Space and headed up towards World Showcase. With not having spilled my stomach contents it was inevitable that this led to serious turtle head at this point.

Normally, and without need for discussion we would start our world tour at Mexico. I don’t know why we have always gone that way, but it just happened. Today we had reason to do things differently. This was Emily’s first day on stage and so instead we headed straight for the UK to find her.

She was busy being trained of course so couldn’t distract her for long but we got a quick photo and left her to get on with stuff.

We moved on through France and continued the loop through all the countries in turn. Louise did her best to have a drink in each pavilion but had to admit defeat and inebriation after not too long. In Japan we found the drummers about to start as we were leaving so we took a seat for a rest and to watch them. I wandered off to a funnel cake stand near the America pavilion to acquire some much needed calories, and frankly, I played a blinder.

That my friends, is double chocolate funnel cake with ice cream. If possible, it tasted better than it looks and we all dug in and devoured it in no time at all.

Our wanderings continued through lots of shops and stuff.

Germany it seems is mounting a challenge to Mexico, where the law states you must try on the big hats and shake your maracas.

Which by the way we did as well.

We did the ride in Mexico too, although the term ride is a bit of a stretch to be honest.

We were done for today, both in terms of energy and stuff to do so we wandered down to the main exit somehow finding some energy reserves to do some more shopping. It had been a very long, hot and tiring day, and on the drive home most folks declared that they didn’t want to go out for tea so we stopped at a Papa John’s close to home and got enough pizza to feed everyone who was in Epcot today. Louise and I did fancy going out so we left everyone else in their PJs and a pizza coma and set off to eat out.

We had nowhere in mind and ended up at a Chilli’s. It felt strange to be eating as two again and the meal was OK, but nothing special.

I had Tacos and Louise had Fajitas. There was a two for one wine offer on which Louise was delighted about and the bill was a lovely $59 including a good tip. We didn’t get home until 11.20 so bed was the only thing on our minds, where I thrilled and delighted Louise….by falling asleep immediately.

Till the next time…..

The Adults Only Tour 2015 – Day Fourteen

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Day Fourteen – 9th September

I can only apologise. With this trip being a very indulgent eighteen days we seem to be having more rest days than John Lesley. Here comes another. My notes are barely two pages and there are four photographs, so if you’ve got a busy day today then this part of the trippie will suit you very well.

What adds insult to that injury is that on my original plan, today was to be a full day at Epcot. However, it was very apparent that everyone was a bit frazzled and tired and so picking up on subtle hints from yesterday like “It would be nice to have a rest day tomorrow”, I changed the plan, cancelled the FastPass+ stuff for the day and booked some more for tomorrow instead.

Feel free to skip this day and pick it up again tomorrow when we do some stuff.

Nana and Grandad had mentioned that they wouldn’t mind going to that discount shop Louise and I found the other day at some point today so I said I’d take them when they were ready. After breakfast and about ten minutes of reading by the pool, they were ready so off we went. Yep, a rest day….I know.

I left them to browse and took the opportunity to go to the nearby Target to restock the villa again. To give Nana sufficient time to spend lots of money I took my time and demonstrated enormous “big shop” expertise by doing two shops at the same time, one for the villa and some stuff for Emily’s apartment. Once done, I went to refuel the minivan and then loitered outside of the Ross shop Nana and Grandad were in waiting to pick them up. Today truly is the stuff of trip report gold isn’t it?

Once back home some of that actual resting happened, pretty much for the rest of the day. I binge read another Jack Reacher and so I’ll be honest I was fairly oblivious to what anyone else did. I was aware of some bodies in the pool at various times but beyond that I have no clue. Oh, it was hot too.

We had evening plans so the readying happened from late afternoon. I joined in with that ten minutes prior to departure at around 6.30. With Emily’s groceries in the boot (trunk) we arrived at The Commons around 7 and went through the pleasingly arduous security process to get to drive down to her apartment.

Most of us took the chance to go and have a nosey around her home and we met another of her room mates, Siri. Yes, that’s right, we met the infamous Siri. She was Norwegian, nineteen, lovely and incredible at English. I felt suitably inadequate.

After packing away Emily’s food into her bits of the kitchen we were about to leave and her phone went as her boyfriend Facetimed her. This went on for some time and we hung about like spare parts for a bit. As this had been the first time they’d managed to Facetime properly since her arrival she decided to stay in and chat with him rather than come out to dinner with us.

We left her to it, feeling more like an Asda delivery service than parents and went to eat ourselves.

Tonight was Bahama Breeze which is literally two minutes from The Commons. We asked to be seated on the patio as we can’t get enough of them steel drum UB40 covers from the resident artiste.

We ordered –

Me – Buttermilk Chicken Sandwich

Louise – Jerk Chicken

And my crap notes for today failed to capture anyone else’s food either in written or photo form. These rest days are the path to shoddy notes and need to be discouraged and eradicated as soon as possible.

As we ate we were joined by a scruffy little kitten.

Knowing that we shouldn’t, we fed it some bits and we saw not only was it eating stuff but it also dragged stuff below the decking. Upon investigation we saw another, much more shy kitten, there eating the bits it was being given. Needless to say we threw more food down to that one, no doubt infuriating the restaurant owners.

The food was as lovely as ever and we were the most full we had ever been ever, since the last meal and we were never going to eat again…..again. We shuffled to the car and I had us home by 10.30. We went straight to bed in order to give our bodies the optimum conditions under which it could convert that food to fat as quickly as possible.

Till the next time……

The Adults Only Tour 2015 – Day Thirteen

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Day Thirteen – 8th September

Well, who would have thought we’d still be here, writing and reading about a holiday that ended months ago? Apologies for how long this is being dragged out over but I just haven’t had the time (and often motivation) to churn more than one a week of these things. There’s still some way to go so I’ll see you at the end, which will be sometime in the early summer!!

After all this recent beach nonsense, today saw a return to sanity and some theme park action. After spending a day or two not charging from one FastPass and/or dining reservation to the next, I was suffering withdrawal symptoms and was therefore quite keen to get off to a nice early start.

Ah the joys of being the planner of the group. My notes tell me I was quite stressed this morning as this sense of urgency was not shared throughout our touring party. I stood around for what seemed like hours, seeing FastPasses die right before my eyes. It was a grumpy me that eventually bundled everyone out of the front door, regardless of their state of readiness at just after ten. Yep, you heard right!

No matter how awesomely I drove (and I did) there was no making up for that shoddy late start and I had a right good sulk all the way to Hollywood Studios. After parking in Film 28 we boarded a tram. My childish sulk knew no bounds and I even got frustrated with the seemingly endless safety announcements and procedures needed before the tram could depart. I ranted a bit about how, no doubt, the actions of one absolute bell end who managed to somehow injure themselves when sat on a tram now meant that every single guest had to have a briefing routine similar to astronauts heading for space before a tram that does no more than fifteen miles an hour could carry them half a mile.

I pined for the simpler days in the eighties and nineties when boarding said tram was like a scene from Mad Max, with a Hispanic family of seventeen crammed into one row with an unfolded stroller.

Finally, we were deemed safe to depart and we made our way, slowly, ever so slowly, to the entrance. It was just before 11am when we made it past the turnstiles. My expertly planned FastPass+ for the Rock n Rollercoaster expired at 11 so I set the pace (at high) as we made our way down Sunset Boulevard towards it. Why we just hadn’t stayed in the park after Fantasmic last night I don’t know. It would have been much easier.

We entered, using our FastPasses at a few minutes past eleven (thank you Disney for your common sense and leniency, my touring party know not what they do). We walked, with customary smugness past a forty minute queue. There was little to no appreciation of my skills in getting us here just in time as everyone was too busy wheezing and trying to wipe the sweat from their bodies.

This is the best ride to start a day with. It really blows the cobwebs off and gets the adrenaline pumping. Our next, expertly planned, FastPass+ was naturally for Tower of Terror, and it was now active so we went straight there. You will note that my sulk and need to rush everyone everywhere so far has meant that I had neither the time nor inclination to take any photos yet.

Everyone loved this ride. Even Louise, who “hates it”, enjoyed the random drop sequence. Two great rides that went some small way to putting my bottom lip back into its natural position.

It was 11.35 and it appeared that the day may be salvageable after all! With our two early FastPasses complete I allowed some time for the wandering of shops and even a visit to the restroom for those who needed it. Our next FastPass+ was not until 1.20 so we had lunch on our minds. I hadn’t booked anywhere for lunch in the park, assuming we would do counter service, but as we were walking in that general direction, I thought we’d try the Sci Fi Diner, as neither Sarah nor Nana and Grandad had done it before. It would also be interesting to see how hard they laughed at us for asking if they could take a walk in for a party of six.

The Gods rewarded me for my patience and good grace this morning by having a table/car immediately available. We were seated and went on to have a lovely meal.

We had –

Me – Chocolate Shake and a Reuben Sandwich

Louise, Nana and Sarah – Chocolate Shake and a Turkey Sandwich

Grandad – Salmon Salad

Rebecca – Oreo Shake and a Turkey Sandwich

Everything was excellent, despite a drinks order mix up which of course meant the diet coke I ordered, as well as my shake, somehow got missed and then when it arrived, it was a Cherry Coke. I drank it anyway, enjoying it much more than I thought I might. I seemed to be cursed with food order woes this trip.

The bill was $130 for the six of us and we left just after 1pm.

It was incredibly humid so we slowly made our way to the Stunt Show for our next FastPass+.

I know we go in August/September, so only have ourselves to blame, but bloody hell it is uncomfortable on those bleachers during this show. Of course, the bum numbness is a factor but it somehow feels about ten degrees hotter than anywhere else. My folds and crevasses were found by every bead of sweat.

For me, not being a huge car freak, the show is just OK. There’s too much talking in it for me, probably as I have seen it multiple times and most of the time you can’t really hear what is being said. They seem to have shoe horned in some of the characters from Cars now which, again, for me wasn’t really worth it. Having two girls, Cars was never a film we embraced too much in our house so the characters don’t mean much to us. I suppose for those with kids of the right age and gender this enhances the show so who am I to grumble?

We left the show and sought out much needed drinks. We decided to call it a day and head back to the villa as it was just too hot to do anything else. We got there just after 3pm.

We all rested, read and swam enjoying the heat much more in this scenario. We had arranged to collect Emily at 7pm from her apartment so we got ready and set off amazingly on time. We were even early enough to pop back to the Premium Outlet mall to return some shirts my Dad bought the other day and for Louise to get something pierced. I think it was some other part of her ear. She had tried on our last visit but didn’t have her ID with her so they refused. Now she had her driving licence so she could prove that the ear she wanted a hole in was actually hers and not someone else’s.

Dad was a little upset that the Izod shop wouldn’t swap his shirts for a different size. Apparently their closing down sale in which he bought them meant there were no returns or even exchanges. He informed them of his displeasure and we moved on.

We waited at The Commons for Emily until 7.15 but it was clear she wouldn’t make it back in time, mainly as she messaged us and told us she wouldn’t make it back on time so we had to leave for our ADR without her. We made it to the Wilderness Lodge for 7.45.

We checked in and found some seats in reception to await the buzzing of our thing.

We were seated just after 8 and had the usual good fun and hearty food.

Me, Sarah, Rebecca and Grandad had the ribs.

Louise and Nana had steak.

As you can see the portions are huge, which of course is great.

We of course had to ask for ketchup….

Rebecca was put in jail by a passing server as he said he had seen her on her phone throughout the meal. She had been messaging her boyfriend back home and she, he said, had to be punished.

It did not however, deter her from future crimes.

It was a dear do at $300 but it was declared the best meal of the trip so far. We went next door into the Territory Lounge for a speciality coffee. My friend and colleague Steve and his wife Di, have this down as one of their favourites when they visit so we had one in their honour and of course taunted them on social media with photographic evidence.

Overly full and more than a little tired we dragged our bodies back to the car and I drove us home. Luckily all of my sulking this morning had worked and turned the day into a success!!

Till the next time…..

The Adults Only Tour 2015 – Day Twelve

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Day Twelve – 7th September

There’s a very good reason you probably won’t find too many trip reports of beach holidays. The material for such is a little monotonous and uninteresting as I shall now demonstrate.

We were awake around 8am and of course had to pack, ready to check out. With that unpleasantness done, we went down to the free breakfast. It was very nice and buffet style, so I shall let you draw your own conclusions about how that went.

Nicely full, we took our luggage out to the car before making our way down to the beach and more expensive sunbeds.

I can summarise the next few hours in two photos.

As the second one demonstrates, it was very, very hot and few of us were suffering from a little too much sun yesterday.

The rest of the morning meandered away with little or no activity to report, which of course is the sign of a good beach day. Rebecca, Grandad and I ventured into the very rough sea for a little bit, followed by some more lying around. Riveting this isn’t it?

Around lunch time we experienced a very strange rain shower. There were absolutely no clouds and yet we were sprinkled with not unpleasant drizzle. As this rain was persisting a little longer than we wanted it to, Louise suggested that we drive out somewhere for a lunch a little more varied than the burger van fare available on the beach. With that decision made we packed up and decided we’d head back to Orlando after lunch and so we said our goodbyes to Daytona.

We love Daytona and of course Vero. I do find it a bit odd that we have always done beaches on the East coast of Florida rather than the more traditional destinations such as Clearwater and St Pete’s. One of these years we will put that right I expect, but there is always that dilemma of trying something new or sticking with that you know you will enjoy.

We drove aimlessly around Daytona for a bit learning that the eateries featured in our sat nav were now sadly out of date, with many of them now closed. This should not have been too surprising as it hadn’t been updated since we bought it in 2011 (I think).

We ended up on the road out of Daytona back towards Orlando and spotted a large mall, which was called Volussia. As unappealing as that sounded to me, being a mall, it had an Applebees attached to it and so that made our decision to stop an easy one.

As we waited to be seated, perusing the menu, our decision to leave the beach proved to be a good one, as the heavens opened and stayed open for a good few hours.

We had –

Grandad – Shrimp Starter and then Won Ton Tacos

Me – Appetiser Sampler as my entrée, which was made up of Nachos, Mozzarella Sticks and Boneless Wings. I didn’t have a starter as I’m not an animal.

Louise – Same as me, but with Quesadillas instead of wings

Rebecca – Same as me

Sarah – Mozzarella Sticks and then a Fajita Wrap

Nana – Fish and Chips

I must have been hungry as those two photos were all I could manage.

With some Margaritas and a wine or two the bill came to $130 including a tip.

We left and drove west toward Orlando, through the rain, arriving back at 4.50. The plan had been to collect Emily on our way out to Hollywood Studios, but she told us she was knackered after work and just wanted to sleep, so we changed our plans to leave a little later, taking the chance to nip to Publix for more bits, which essentially consisted of wine and high sugar goods.

We left the villa at 7.30, arriving to see the Studios looking glorious in the dark.

Tonight was the final Frozen Firework party thing of the summer and so we made our way up to DJ Chill who was expertly playing other people’s records in front of the Great Movie Ride.

My ability to take a blurred photo knows no bounds.

The girls got their groove on to the “banging tunes” for a bit, whilst Nana and Grandad wandered off to the shops and to get a drink.

After battling their way right to front for more throwing of shapes they returned to us to watch the fireworks.

We enjoyed the fireworks so much I took another blurred photo.

We then battled our way down Sunset Boulevard for the 10pm Fantasmic, stopping in the villains shop on the way for drinks, souvenirs and more crowd battling.

Once inside a very full and busy stadium we took our seats.

Clearly not feeling myself, I agreed to buy Louise some lighty up ear things and after fighting my way to a vendor and all the way back to my seat, imagine my delight when they didn’t work. The joy continued when the show started, as after about a minute it stopped again due to the increasing rain. Our history of rain and Fantasmic is surely now legendary?

We waited a few minutes and the show started up again…..only to stop once more after not long at all. With our patience at full stretch, we stuck it out a little longer and we were rewarded with the rest of the show without interruption.

Here is my traditional eulogy about Disney’s ability to disperse thousands of people via seemingly a couple of trams without fuss, queue or complication. Within minutes of leaving the stadium (after swapping out Louise’s defective ears) we found a tram waiting for us, with no queue at all and we were whisked away to our car and we are on our way on amazingly uncongested roads. In the UK, if you dare to attempt the Trafford Centre at any time other than 2am on a weekday you sit on the car park for forty minutes waiting to get off.

We did witness some truly scary driving from some folks on the way home, with last minute lane switching and the cutting up of other folks, but thankfully my experience, excellent road sense and The Force saw us home safely. I was so busy keeping us safe that I did miss a junction so we took a lovely scenic route home, which was nice. We were home by 11.40 and I managed about a page and a half of my book before my eyes closed.

Till the next time…..

The Adults Only Tour 2015 – Day Eleven

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Day Eleven – 6th September

Well, theme park fans, once again I must apologise up front for what will be a ride free day. Such is married life!

Today we set off for our overnight mini-break in Daytona. Just at the point when an early start would have been very useful we all slept in until 8am. Of course, we hadn’t done anything clever like pack the night before. Frankly, we are always so tired by the time it comes to bed time that it’s a bonus if we manage to get undressed.

I have written in my notes that we were out by 9am. I can’t now remember the start to today in great detail but based upon our track record thus far, I think I was lying.

We were soon on the I4 which was lovely and clear with it being a Sunday, albeit Labor (spelt the US way as it is a US holiday) Day weekend.

Having spent all the journey watching my petrol gauge stressing about whether we would make it or not, with thirty miles to go my bottle went and I came off the I4 in search of gas. The sat nav helped me a little but it took a stupidly route, including a trip through a “swap meet” in a weird car park, to come to the BP station the sat nav promised us.

This gas station was in a place which if you look in the dictionary for the term “back woods” you will see a picture. I was served by a chap, who was so stereotypical, if I told you about him you would think I was being racist, bigoted and shallow. Let’s just say there was a hint of the red neck about him.

There was a sign at the counter telling me that they did not accept any bills larger than $20 so I gave one of those and a ten to get the tank pretty much full. That’s another reason I love the US.

As I left he said “Have a great day, and a better one tomorrow!” which I thought was lovely and reminded me a little of Forrest Gump and the Truman Show.

Back on the road we completed the last thirty miles.

The coast was in sight soon enough.

We arrived in Daytona just after ten which, even as I write it now sounds impressively early. We parked up and undertook a delightfully swift check in at the Hyatt. One of our three rooms was ready so we dumped our bags there, changed and headed for the beach. It was a slightly shocking $80 for six sunbeds and three umbrellas. I think Grandad passed out.

My toes were, I believe the phrase is, on fleek?

We had a very healthy lunch of burgers from one of the vans serving on the beach and I spent most of the day reading. I had picked up one of the books from the villa, a Jack Reacher novel, which somehow I had never come across before. Perfect sunbed reading material.

As we were heading out at around 5pm tonight Rebecca and Sarah went up to the room to get ready at 2.30pm!! The rest of us stayed in the sun until about 4pm.

After taking my usual ten minutes to get ready, I took some photos from our balcony.

After showers and stuff we all met in reception at around 5pm. The girls, despite their, early start were late, but for once with good reason.

Rebecca’s boyfriend, who was staying at our house helping to encourage the cats to go missing before our return (I am no fan of our cats!) had been in touch to say that someone had just tried to break into our house. It was night time at home of course, and he had been upstairs. Having heard a noise he went down to see a couple of men at the back of our house, one stood at the back door.

As he opened the door to ask them politely, what they were doing, they left. As you can imagine, we all felt a bit sick and shaken, but probably not as much as Tom did! We set off for the baseball stadium. It may not surprise you to hear that as we got there I realised I had forgotten the tickets I ordered, printed and stored away safely some six months ago. The box office sorted things without any fuss.

I called my brother back home and asked him to meet the police at our house to have a look around. With nothing else untoward to report, we tried to concentrate on having a nice night in one of our favourite places.

We ordered food. That’s quite a simple statement, but we somehow managed to make it a more complex operation than the D Day landings. With everyone a little bit all over the place with worry about events back home as we stood at the window placing our order, nobody, especially me, was concentrating too well, and we managed to confuse our poor server at every stage, no doubt not helped by her not being able to understand our strange accents either.

Somehow, we all ended up with a drink and something to eat and we settled into the bleachers.

Here, you may be able to get some appreciation for just how red and sore Sarah’s legs were.

Grandad was sat behind a local character who he befriended. You can see him in the photo above. He helpfully explained the finer details of the game throughout and they chatted about all sorts. It’s funny I think, how two people with such different life experiences can be thrown together and find common stuff to chat about for about four hours. This local chap had a tattoo on his arm which read “I’m F**cked” without the asterixes. He looked like a member of the Grateful Dead and was a thoroughly lovely chap.

The game went on with most of it being sort of understood, interspersed with all the usual fun and games between innings.

The stresses of earlier events drifted away and we started to relax in the perfect late evening weather and I certainly, as I always do, wondered what it would be like to live in such a climate. Surely, it makes for a happier, healthier, less stressful time?

Tonight was the final game of the season. Thankfully, the home team, the Daytona Tortugas won in a low scoring game and the night ended with a fireworks display, which frankly went on much longer than anyone expected. It was surprisingly impressive for a small minor league baseball stadium. My photos, as ever failed to capture any of it with any degree of accuracy.

See…

The night, as usual included lots of local sponsors giving stuff away and we were only mildly shocked to be given a $10 off Dicks voucher as we left. Each to their own.

We left the stadium and we were back at the hotel not longer after. The girls went up to their room but the hardcore oldies sat out by the pool for an hour or so enjoying wine and coffee (not in the same glass) and chatting. Bed was then a welcome sight. As much as the bleachers are the best place to watch the game from, they really play havoc with our behind!

Till the next time…..

The Adults Only Tour 2015 – Day Ten

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Day Ten – 5th September

I know that we have a track record over the years of declaring a day a rest day and then spending it doing things not even close to resting. However, today was to be one of those rest days and frankly we needed it. The two days at Universal had been hard on the legs (and stomach) and we were all feeling it.

You can tell this was a real rest day as there’s no sign of a photograph until this evening when food appears. All of this is trip report writer’s code to suggest that today may be short and a bit unexciting, in sharp contrast to all the other days which require a seat belt and a Diazpam to survive.

Now, having said all that, with you all prepared for tales of us lounging around doing not a lot, I found myself awake at 4am. This was solely due to my illness and it was probably my body’s way of protecting me from drifting away into a cold related coma in my sleep, such was the level of my maladay. Looking back at this day now, from some months away, it is hard to remember how I felt but judging by the unrepeatable description of my state in my trip report notes, I was one poorly boy.

What is even more indescribable is whatever madness took me at this time to attack my work emails on the villa’s PC. Having deleted a few thousand emails that I didn’t need to get in the first place I staggered back to bed for a couple of hours, waking again around 9am.

Despite being at death’s door we did a trip to the supermarket to restock the fridge and cupboards with high sugar foods and vein clogging fare. You have to feed a cold you know.

On the way back we called in at the local CVS Pharmacy to see if anyone had found a cure for the cold recently. They hadn’t but I spent a silly amount on various treatments to make me feel like I was at least putting up a decent fight.

Back at the villa we all swam, read and relaxed in varying degrees. It was hot of course, which felt great when like me you had a fever not seen since a Saturday Night in 1977.

Have I mentioned my illness enough yet?

For lunch we feasted upon sandwiches from Publix which I’m sure were very tasty for those with a working sense of taste, or smell.

Readying began around 3pm and we made our way to The Commons to get Emily no doubt many, many hours later. Today she was on Traditions, the renowned “sheep dipping” into Disney culture for all new Cast Members. Anyway, she wasn’t back yet, so we went over to Premium Outlet Malls which is literally a few minutes away from her apartment.

We shopped for a bit. Yes that’s right, I am ill and we’re shopping. What fresh hell is this?

Something happened which occurs about as regularly as Halley’s Comet. I bought, or should I say, I was bought a pair of jeans. It was my birthday present from Mum and Dad. They were even “a label” which all my jeans are, however normally that label is George.

We browsed about four thousand other shops before Emily was ready so we went to pick her up and brought her across to the Mall. She needed some stuff for upcoming training so after a quick Starbucks we split off into three groups, Louise, Emily and I were one, Nana and Grandad another and Rebecca and Sarah the last. We shopped at great speed trying to pin point very precise items of clothing in the vast open spaces of the huge department stores. Having secured the work related stuff Emily needed we got her a new pair of converse too as her existing ones were held together by hope and spit.

We had arranged to meet up with everyone at 8.30 as we would need to leave at that time to get across to Beaches and Cream for our reservation. How we were all looking forward to our Kitchen Sink or whatever else we may decide to have.

Once in the car, I set up the Sat Nav, typed in Beach Club and off we went, in the dark, in a foreign country. Those last two things are an excuse for me not thinking anything was odd about the back streets and dodgy areas we were being taken through. By the time we reached our destination it was very clear that we weren’t in Disney anymore and our chances of getting to our reservation in time were slim. I never did figure out how the Sat Nav which had been so reliable for years had decided that the Beach Club was on some residential street about forty minutes from Lake Buena Vista. I put it in the glove box for a while to think about what it had done.

We found our way to Crossroads at around the time of our reservation and being about ten minutes from Beaches and Cream we may have had a chance of still making it. However, there was gridlock, no doubt with folks heading to Downtown Disney so we abandoned all hope and made a Plan B. With us being where we were we decided upon Olive Garden.

Surprisingly we were seated immediately and, oh look, some photos….

That was worth waiting for I think you will agree.

We perused the menus and spirits were high despite the crap journey, horrible traffic, my impending death from a blocked nose and having been shopping.

I cannot explain this photo.

We opted for the salad and bread sticks with Sarah going for the soup option instead.

We ordered –

Me – Gorgonzola Steak Thingy

Louise – Some sort of Cheese Ziti

Emily & Sarah – Lasgane

Rebecca – Stuffed Something (I am King of Trip Report note making)

Grandad – Chicken and Shrimp

Nana – Rosemary Chicken

Desserts were not possible and with wines, beers, special lemonades and my expensive Diet Cokes we paid $175 including a generous tip.

We dropped Emily off home and headed for the villa getting back at around 11. I was still ill.

Till the next time…..

The Adults Only Tour 2016 – Day Nine

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Day Nine – 4th September

The fact that I continued to wake up naturally, at times before I need to when back at home and going to work struck me as a weird combination of irksome and pleasing in equal measure. My pleasure was again dampened by the fact that it took two hours from me waking up to us being on our way.

Louise and Emily were very hard to rouse this morning, which was an unsurprising consequence of what was a very tiring day yesterday. I was impressively energetic considering I had spent the night in a hotel room with two women. At just after nine we dropped the cases off in the car…

and then we headed to the water taxi to get us over to Islands of Adventure.

I took the photo that everybody takes…

and made the long walk through the park towards Hogwarts.

The theming was as impressive as I remembered from our one and only previous visit.

There was a fifteen minute wait posted for Forbidden Journey but nobody said this was just to get a locker. To be fair Grandad did struggle to understand the instructions but still, it’s a right faff.

It soon became apparent that I had remembered very little about this ride from our previous visit. This was a good thing and maybe one of the advantages of my fading memory as I get older. I got to enjoy it for the first time all over again.

We went straight on to Flight of The Hypogrif, Hippogryph, Hypogryf…..the next ride.

Quite brief, fast paced and leaving you short of breath. You can put your own version of the usual joke there.

Having only had the two hours between waking and leaving the hotel, clearly breakfast had just not been an option, so now, food was on our minds. The Three Broomsticks satisfied our essential criteria of being open and right in front of us. It is a counter service affair, with your order placed at a till and then you pick the food up.

As we proved at Be Our Guest, co-ordinating an order for a party of seven in this manner is clearly a task beyond me.  Our order taker was in her tenth decade on earth which didn’t help her understand seven idiots from Bolton shouting orders at her randomly. Sarah almost pushed her over the edge as she ordered one of the standard dishes, but wanted it without about half of the items. This took much longer than you would believe.

With our order locked and loaded we filled up our trays and found a table. Guess what? My food was missing again. With only a minor sense of humour failure and a decent flounce I went back to the food counter to claim my pancakes.

It was 11am when we left and most of us then rode the old Duelling Dragons ride, which may not have been the best time to do it, with bellies full of food.

With our special passes we walked right to the boarding area, arriving just in time to see the ride break down and spend the next ten minutes awaiting a fix. This was really good fun.

After a brief stop for photos…

Next, Grandad, Sarah, Rebecca, Emily and I decided to do Poseidon’s thingy. This was a grave mistake.

We walked in, but were held behind a rope for almost half an hour waiting for the “tour guide”. Then, with the tour itself taking a similar amount of time Louise and Nana had been sat outside in the burning sun for almost an hour and Grandad and I had all the money, so they couldn’t get a drink!

Now I know why they call it Poseidon’s Fury.

Once we had a drink we wandered through Seuss Landing.

We rode One Fish, Two Fish.

Emily there, regretting forgetting her sunglasses, that I had purchased for her earlier in the trip at vast expense.

Next, Cat in the Hat, which I’m sure has much less spinning than it used to.

We completed the holy trinity of Suess rides with the Carousel thing. I know, somewhere in the world, somebody exists who has heard and understood the spiel the ride operator says before the ride starts, but it isn’t me.

Once the ride was over Louise struggled to dismount. Other less chivalrous chaps may have laughed and watched her struggle. I did too. I do have photographic evidence but obviously I am not stupid enough to post it here.

We continued our journey around the park, with The Hulk next. We had heard that there was to be a major refurb starting a few days later so this would be the last time we would ride it in its current form.

Nana and Grandad didn’t ride and with our Express passes it took the rest of us about ten minutes to do so. As we came back to the loading area we were held in our seats as the attendants dealt with someone’s lunch which was all over the carriage in front.

Sarah, Grandad and Rebecca did Dr Doom’s Fear Fall next. I’ve never ridden that one and don’t intend to. Instead the rest of us browsed some shops before all riding Spiderman once we were all back together.

Somehow, we got the impression that there may be some rain on the way.

With that in mind, it made absolutely no sense to do the water rides now, so we did. Well, most of us did. Dudley Do Right was first and it was as awesome as it always has been. The most impressive log I had seen all holiday.

Everyone leaves that ride thinking they are wet, until that is they then go on the Bilge Rats ride and experience whole new levels of wetness. We did just that. As we left that ride I blew many dollars on the human drier. It made no difference at all to our clothes but crucially we were able to dry out our paper express photo ID things.

I don’t know what it is, but yet again we entered and left the Jurassic Park bit without stopping. The Jurassic River Ride was down due to the incoming storm and without that is there anything else to do here?

This brought us full circle back to Hogsmeade.

We headed for the train station, hopeful of keeping dry.

I captured the natural beauty of my two daughters whilst in the queue.

It was our longest queue of the day at over half an hour and everyone but especially Grandad was feeling the two long theme park days in our legs.

It is safe to say that capturing the ride’s effects on camera is not easy, so please don’t judge the attraction by these poor efforts.

Why that Weasley is giving Rebecca the middle finger I don’t know.

By the time we arrived at our destination the rain had also arrived. We left the station and found shelter in what I think was the exit of Disaster.

It rained a lot for quite some time. Not quite long enough to persuade me to buy any ponchos or anything daft like that.

After about half an hour the rain died away and we made our way to the same Starbucks we went to yesterday for refreshments. Whilst everyone ordered I took Emily to a nearby shop to get her a hoody as she was freezing in all the air conditioned rides etc. Filled nicely with coffee of various types we once again rode The Mummy, this time without Nana and Grandad.

Next, we undertook a first for everyone by riding Transformers. Honestly, now, I can’t really remember much about it but I think it was very similar to another ride.

After the ride we stumbled upon Megatron.

We rode Minions again, ending our Universal experience as we started it.

It was time to leave and we made our way to The Cowfish for tea (dinner).

No appetisers here as we were saving ourselves for the huge burgers we had been looking forward to experiencing here.

I had…

The Cowfish Has Offically Left The Building (A.K.A. The Hunka, Hunka), which is, Full-pound beef burger, creamy peanut butter, fried bananas, applewood bacon, brioche bun. Choice of side.

It was awesome. I was so busy indulging in that awesomeness that I didn’t write down what anyone else had.

This was Louise’s (I recongise her boobs in the photo).

This must be someone’s burger. I know it isn’t Emily’s as that is her new hoody on the next seat.

I think this is another view of mine.

It made me happy, fat and blurred.

Astonishingly Emily and Rebecca ordered a dessert. I was close to hospitalisation I was that full so I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

Rebecca shared this with Sarah.

Emily had cheesecake. As my organs were shutting down due to the enormous calorie intake, my photographic skills were poor.

Somehow I dragged my body around some shops for a little while looking for things for people other than me. Before too long sense prevailed and we ambled on to the water taxi and made it back to the car.

Somehow I managed to operate it and get us back to the villa and our welcoming beds.

Till he next time…..

The Adults Only Tour 2015 – Day Eight

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Day Eight – 3rd September

The pain of these early starts, and today was once again a 6.30 am wake up, is paid back in spades if you are out to the parks before many others can manage. So imagine my levels of upset as again, it took us over two hours to get out of the villa. I should not have been too surprised as this morning we had to pack for our overnight stay at the Hard Rock Hotel. For me, that was underwear, swim shorts, normal shorts and two clean shirts. For others, it involved what appeared to be about a week’s worth of kit.

It was a depressing 8.50 am before we reversed off the drive and made our way up the I4. This meant an arrival at Hard Rock at 9.30 am. Naturally I self-parked and then spent far longer than we should have checking in. It took an age. This may have just been my perception as my need to be on rides already was as large as the chip on my shoulder at the late start.

Our room was not ready of course, but no matter, we would just check our bags and get on with it. Alas, no. It seems now that on-site guests need an extra photo ID thing to use the front of line privilege. This was a self-serve affair at a kiosk in reception. It could have been a tad more intuitive and for reasons that never became clear, Nana ended up with a moustache on her photo.

We wandered out to the pool area, trying to remember where the path started to get to the water taxi before lunch. I really do need to learn to relax in these situations.

It was 10.15 before we got in to the park…thankfully that was am and not pm.

First up, and with a suitably smug flash of our special passes, was a walk in to the Minions ride. There was already a queue that we would not have tolerated without our golden tickets.

This ride is of course just a re-hash of all the other rides that have been here before, most recently Jimmy Neutron, but it made it no less enjoyable. The pre-show is very good too. I would imagine this ride will stick around a bit longer than its forerunners judging by the amount of Minions stuff both in the parks and the movie franchise.

We crossed the street to Shrek and again avoided a woeful looking queue. This clearly pleased Rebecca.

We enjoyed another strong pre-show here.

The obvious next ride was Rip, Ride Rock It which now appears to have stricter security than most airports. I can only imagine someone was injured to such a degree that a law suit followed, by some object falling from the ride. The checks are only just short of full body cavity and the riders, had to go back to the non-riders, Nana and Grandad, to leave our glasses, hats, phones and most of our clothes with them.

We of course were able to walk on without a wait, and it was apparent that I have aged significantly since my last ride on this, as it felt much more intense and painful than I remembered. We watched the video clip of our ride as we exited and I marvelled at how I managed to hold that pained expression for the entire ride.

We wandered back to Nana and Grandad who had taken the chance to chillax in the shade.

This wasn’t as good an idea as it may have first appeared as he then couldn’t get up again.

Breakfast had been so long ago by now that food and drink became an urgent priority. We made our way up to the Starbucks past the Mummy ride for coffees and pastries.

Once refuelled, there was a mildly awkward moment as we appeared to be having a conversation about how bad it was to ride Mummy. Thankfully, I realised in time that this was the roller coaster we were walking to and I was glad to have kept my opinion to myself.

Everyone rode this one, mainly as we all lied to Nana and Grandad about how intense it was.

Here is the photo everyone wants to see, the gift shop as you exit.

We wandered on with no particular plan and sort of stumbled upon Diagon Alley. This was because it wasn’t here when we were last.

We briefly ambled around a shop or two with me cursing my lack of preparation and research about this new area. It was also very busy compared to the other areas of the park.

Somehow we found ourselves outside Gringott’s and wandered inside to ride. The bank hall as you enter is probably the most impressively themed thing I have seen on any ride. It was incredible. You may wonder then why I did not capture it in a photograph. Well, I was Periscoping instead.

Looking back now, the ride experience was a bit of a blur. I seem to remember being herded into a cubicle to have a photo taken for reasons that never became clear and then we joined the queue. There was a lift involved somewhere along the line and then we climbed some stairs up to the boarding area.

As we sat down there was a right old palaver.  Grandad had been put in the front row but was then told he’d have to move as he didn’t fit. The young ride attendant then had a complete brain meltdown as she tried to reconfigure the seating to accommodate our party of six and everyone else in with us. Despite us all telling her what to do, which was obvious to everyone other than her, she just couldn’t bring herself to get it sorted. It took forever before we just ended up moving ourselves around, into the arrangement we had been telling her to do and we were off. We all have times at work like that I guess.

The ride was of course superb but inevitably a little too short. Louise tells me that it is something you get used to eventually. We made our way over to Men In Black where I continued my form from Buzz a few days ago.

We then made our way to the exit feeling hot and tired. We spotted some familiar faces on the way.

The water taxi took an age to arrive but at least our rooms were ready now. I always like to pay that bit extra for the preferred view.

To be clear, I NEVER pay for a preferred view.

At this point five of us (everyone but me) went down to the pool. I went to pick Emily up now that she had finished her work for the day. On the way back to the Hard Rock we stopped at a 7/11 to get her some lunch and then after changing in our respective rooms joined the others at the pool.

Louise had worryingly already opened a tab so I went in the pool to try to block that from my mind. Grandad, Emily, Rebecca, Sarah and I went down the slide and generally just messed around in the pool for a bit.

There was a DJ on by the pool who had a few games going that we absolutely did not take part in. Instead we rested and drank for a few hours.

It was around 6.30 when we left the pool and ventured upstairs to get ready. I had to have a lie down for a while after settling the bar bill and then spending another $75 in the hotel shop on “bits”.

I quickly showered and then caught up on my trip report notes whilst I waited for everyone else to be ready to go.

We made our way to the water taxi as we had a reservation at the Hard Rock Café for dinner.

As we arrived at the taxi stop we were approached by a blog reader who had recognised us. We had a quick chat and a photo before boarding our vessel. It was lovely to meet you Debbie.

Grandad’s bumbag game was strong!

We were immediately seated and over ordered spectacularly once again. We took some family photos to pass the time. Emily, as ever, was delighted to be photographed.

Then of course the smile comes out for the selfie.

Louise and I are less skilled at this art.

A few Nachos the size of a small planet were our appetiser.

Me and Emily – Pulled Pork Sandwich

Sarah and Louise – Fajitas

Grandad – Shrimp Platter

Nana and Rebecca’s meal were not recorded in my notes I’m afraid. However, Nana’s looked like this.

My body hated me for how full I had made it and despite the very real physical pain we left and started to try to walk off the impending heart failure.

This is one of our favourite places of an evening. It looks lovely…

However, tonight we were simply too full to enjoy it.

We ambled to the water taxi stop and it somehow carried our excessive weight back to the hotel. The youngsters sat by the pool for a bit but all the oldies were in bed by shortly after ten. Yes, that’s what you call Hard Rocking at the Hard Rock Hotel.

Till the next time…..

The Adults Only Tour 2015 – Day Seven

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Day Seven – 2nd September

Not only was I awake again at 6.30am, full of snot and loathing for my own body, I was tackling some work emails too. My inability to switch off from work was probably the reason that I had been cursed with illness on my holidays. I only had myself to blame. Nobody likes a kiss ass.

It was only another two hours and ten minutes until everyone was ready to leave. We left the villa for Hollywood Studios at 8.40, yes, it goes without saying, about twenty minutes later than I might have liked to.

It took us that same twenty minutes to get there and park up in Stage 46. We boarded a waiting tram and headed for a day of fun.

I really have no idea why I felt the need to take that last photo.

Today we had two early Fastpasses booked quite close together, so with us running a little behind (my) schedule I was a little stressed and concerned that our first one, Toy Story Mania, would take too long to do and we’d miss our second.

With that in mind I pushed the pace as we made our way into the park.

Still, I had the time and skills to take superb theme park photography on the way.

I know you are impressed with those masterpieces and you are welcome to use them but please, make sure you credit me!

We got to Toy Story at 9.40 and my fears were unfounded. Unlike previous years the FastPass line was, well, Fast and we didn’t have any wait at all. Naturally, I won, easily with a fairly respectable score of 146,000. Everyone else’s score was so far short of that sort of awesomeness that I did not even bother to record it in my notes.

Having triumphed with my fast-moving wrist action, I felt the need to replenish my energy levels and we stopped at a coffee caravan (honestly, it was) for drinks and some of us had a Danish. I’ll leave you to guess whether I had one or not.

We sat outside One Man’s Dream whilst taking calories on board before going in for a quick look around.

We couldn’t stay for the film, which was a shame, as I always enjoy it. We had to leave to get to our next FastPass appointment, this time with Ariel. It was a little odd that upon arriving at our FastPass time of 10.30, we found the next show didn’t start for twenty minutes. As the park didn’t look busy, rather than stand in the pre-show area for that length of time we decided to have a wander around the gift shop instead. Thankfully after just a few minutes we heard music coming from around the corner which turned out to be what I have cleverly captured in my notes as “The Frozen Thing”. We walked over and took up a spot to watch that.

Ah, that’s what it was called….

I tried to Periscope this but the WiFi connection was bobbins and it kept bombing out.

With perfect timing, as this ended we wandered into Ariel and took our seats just as the next show was starting. We were sat on the far right which meant the sound wasn’t the best for this show, but it was as great as ever.

In an unusual twist, the ending seemed to have changed to one where Eric was mauled to death by an Old English Sheepdog.

We left the police to clear up the mess and made our way up to the Great Movie Ride. Louise had a weird leaky eye thing going on so she missed the ride to sort that which allowed me to take photos of a nicely trimmed bush.

We ended up waiting almost twenty-five minutes but it did give us a chance to see the new sequence of film clips. Seeing new things like this always brings mixed emotions. Of course, seeing rides updated and refurbished is great but then you automatically pine for the old stuff and feel sad that it will never be the same again. Or is that just me?

The ride itself isn’t that different once it gets going but Richard Attenborough seems to have returned from the dead to appear in one scene.

It was now time for our third FastPass at the Tower of Terror so we walked over there. Nana wasn’t feeling great today so she declined to ride, instead browsing the shops and carrying everyone’s bags. It is always upsetting to see a small standby queue when you have a FastPass as it restricts one’s ability to gloat. We made the most of sweeping majestically past the ten minute queue.

This is one of my favourite rides. The theming is probably the best on Disney property and the ride itself, now it has the random drop sequences, is just great fun.

The obvious destination after this was Rock n Rollercoaster, where we saw a twenty-minute standby time posted. We were even more delighted to see that this was nonsense and we walked on, straight into the studio pre-show.

This is another superb ride, so good that everyone except Grandad rode again straight away.

It’s the law that this photo must be taken.

We then made the long trek across to Star Tours. The trek was so long that by the time we got there we wanted feeding again so we popped into the Backlot Xpress counter service place next door. We had –

Rebecca, Sarah and Louise – Hot Dog

Me – Chicken Salad

Nana – Burger

Grandad – Chicken Nuggets

We rode Star Tours with full bellies and we got the Darth Vader story. I say that assuming that what I have heard is true and there are a number of options to experience.

After a brief look around the Star Wars gift shop we turned left towards the Muppets.

This too had a small change in the pre-show with the “Evil Kermit” from the most recent film making an appearance. Having not seen that film, it just made it a bit weird. After seeing this show more times than I can remember it was lovely to see and hear Sarah laughing out loud as a first timer.

In what was turning into an excellent theme park day, in terms of the amount of stuff we were getting done, next we trekked all the way back across the park to catch the 3pm Beauty and The Beast show.

It was incredibly hot by now and I lost about a stone in sweat as the show progressed.

It was now time to go and pick Emily up after her work meetings this morning. It was no bad thing as the heat was making the whole theme park thing hard work now.

We drove to The Commons, only to find once connected to their WiFi that Emily was stuck in meetings still, so we decided to drive back to our villa and come back for her once we were all showered and changed.

That turned out to be around 6.30, and with another stop at The Commons to collect a daughter, we then drove on to Kidani Village for our reservation at Sanaa. We self-parked (of course) and made the quite long stroll into reception.

Not surprisingly it is a mini version of Animal Kingdom Lodge. We watched some of the animals from a balcony for a little while, enjoying the place very much.

We checked in at Sanaa and had a ten minute wait for our table. We viewed the extensive menus but the appetiser had been a done deal for months….

One of the main reasons we had booked this restaurant was for the Naan bread appetiser…

I know it looks good on those photos, but there is no camera on the planet that can capture it’s awesomeness. It was incredible.

We then continued with –

Me – Tandoori Chicken

Grandad, Emily, Rebecca and Sarah – Butter Chicken

Nana – Butter Chicken with Steak

Louise – Butter Chicken with Lamb

I took a few photos, but alas, I can’t remember which is which….

Safe to say that everyone was very happy with their choices. Fuller than we had any right to be, we went for it and ordered dessert too.

 

With plenty of wine, beer and soft drinks the bill was $365.

Frankly, unable to make it all the way to the car in one go, we sat in a lounge off reception for a little while giving our body’s time to adjust to their new weights. Once able we walked, slowly, back to the car, dropped Emily off and headed for home. Having learned nothing from previous visits we stopped at Publix to be reminded that it closes at 10pm. We were in bed twenty minutes later.

Till the next time…..

The Adults Only Tour 2015 – Day Six

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Day Six – 1st September

In the history of bad nights’ sleep, last night was only surpassed in awesomeness by my level of illness. I felt like poop. I suppose by staying awake all of the night I was getting more value for my holiday buck, being conscious for more precious hours. Yeh, I’m not convincing myself either.

I got out of bed at 6.30 and waited for others to join me. Grandad was up first which was all that mattered this morning as today was golf day for the men folk. This is a tradition on my birthday, which I selflessly sacrificed yesterday for others. The benefit of being up so early was that I was able to get on the PC and look for a suitable golf course with a budget that matched my ability…..which is average. I settled on a course called Providence and after showers and some breakfast we were out at 8.40.

I could tell the choice of course was a good one even as we approached. The road up to the course was lined with newly built, quite impressive villas and as we pulled into the car park the club house looked pretty impressive too.

We hired some clubs, bought lots of balls (I am always likely to need a good number) and boarded our buggy.

We teed off just after nine and it was already roasting hot. The temperature only rose as the standard of my golf decreased.

As we got to one tee, with the customary water nearby I caught sight of something watching us.

I didn’t get that close to it, I just have a decent zoom on my camera. What followed were two of the quickest tee shots in the history of golf.

On one hole we were caught up by a chap playing on his own with his wife driving the cart. As we let him play through (honestly, it’s as if I have done nothing else but play golf all of my life with all this golf lingo) we discovered he was from Chorley, which for those who don’t know is about twenty minutes from Bolton. When you are in Florida that’s close enough to assume you are actually related and we used our familiar accents to talk about home for a bit.

On the back nine (another technical term only known by superior golfers) we caught up with a four ball (see, this jargon is just so natural to me) and ended up waiting around as they took about twenty minutes over every putt. This meant that we were caught up again by another chap behind us playing by himself. We invited him to play in with us.

He was called Dave, from Virginia, and we chatted and laughed at my shots for the last few holes.

We were done by 12.40 and made it back to the pro shop as two slightly red balls of sweat. We even had some balls left which was a big enough victory for me. My performance can be summarised as patchy which I would have settled for before teeing off as I hadn’t played for two years and I was crap then too.

We drove back to the villa and arrived at 1pm. About one minute later we were both in the pool trying to reduce our body temperature to double figures. About five minutes later Grandad realised that he had left his (expensive) watch in the golf buggy so he called the golf club. It hadn’t been found but they said they would keep an eye out for it. It was never recovered so whoever parked and cleaned our buggy is now sporting Grandad’s retirement present from work. That left a bit of a sour taste in the mouth about that particular course I have to say.

We did lots of nothing for a couple of hours by the pool until readying started around 3pm. About ten minutes prior to departure I got ready too and I was gracious enough to drive everyone to Celebration where we planned to have our tea/dinner.

Market Street Café is a firm favourite of ours based upon a couple of previous visits. It was empty, as it always tends to be, which is a big surprise based upon its quality.

We were seated and ordered –

3 lots of cheesy fried and some Nachos as appetisers

Then we had –

Me – Taco Salad

Grandad – Beef Stroganoff

Nana – Chicken Salad Sandwich

Sarah – Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich

Rebecca just had cheesy fries as there were lots and lots of those.

The dessert menu is on one of these, which is good fun.

We were all so stuffed that we just got one Banana Cream Pie to share, apart from Sarah who had Brownies a la Mode.

The Banana Cream Pie deserves another photo as it is beyond awesome.

The bill was $160 including a good tip and we left vowing never to eat ever again. We had our usual stroll down to the lake….

and then over to the Woofgang bakery shop.

Next door to that was some sort of ice cream and cake shop which just made us feel sick to look in the window so I wandered off towards the fountain. As I did, I noticed a large dog being walked, so I made my way over to give it a stroke.

He was called Otis and he was awesome. As soon as I started to stroke him he fell on his side and his eyes went all funny, which is something I can relate to….

and he stayed that way for the next half an hour as he lapped up all the attention he was getting. Personally speaking, half an hour of being stroked is nothing more than a record I aspire to.

We chatted with his owner and couldn’t bring ourselves to let them continue their walk. Eventually she made a run for it with us continuing to take photos.

Apparently he is quite the celebrity in Celebration so do look out for him if you go, and you should.

We left Celebration and made our way to Old Town as we hadn’t been for years. We parked up and started to have a look around.

We very quickly realised why we hadn’t been for years. We did not enjoy it. It was tacky, cheap and one of the few places in Orlando that I was aware that I didn’t feel entirely safe. The lowlight for me was some “attraction” that involved a dummy being electrocuted in an electric chair in a very graphic manner. As we passed, slack-jawed in amazement that it existed, a large family were watching it, including small kids who looked absolutely terrified at the very realistic depiction of someone being filled with thousands of volts. Very odd and quite disturbing. I didn’t video it but found this on You Tube.

Sarah was seriously considering going on the catapult thing that flings you up in the air in a metal ball but Rebecca was less convinced having seen it up close. I was frankly quite relieved that they decided against it as the thought of them entrusting their lives to something hosted at Old Town was not something I was very comfy with. Am I giving off the impression that we were not keen on this place?

We walked around a lot of shops and saw a lot of tat. We lasted about an hour before deciding to leave and probably never return. We stopped at the Publix on the way home which was frankly more enjoyable and nicer to walk around. We were asleep by nine. Rock and Roll!!

Till the next time…..