We are a family in pain. We are in a bad way, with high levels of suffering. What is the cause? Severe WDW withdrawal symptoms!!
I have Louise posting on Facebook roughly every seven seconds about how hard she is finding the fact that we aren’t going, and I have Emily, listening to Spectromagic on repeat on her iPod and Rebecca joined in the self-inflicted pain by sitting with Emily at the iPad watching WDW parades this evening.
Craig, I miss you!!
Me? I am coping admirably, and I don’t think about it much at all really. I would say there are several seconds in each day where the thought of going on holiday does not cross my mind.
It does not help that I have two cyber friends fully immersed in Disney-dom with @tweetwizzo tweeting about ten times a minute whilst on his fourteenth trip in eighteen months, and Gordon in full planning mode, clogging up my twitter and Facebook timeline with WDW footwear conundrums and questions about dining options. Thanks chaps!
I have to admit that I have spent some part of today on websites related to the booking of such trips. We ABSOLUTELY cannot afford one, and it is only the fact that I want to eat in the coming months that I have not followed this searching with some plastic damage. Louise wants to go more than I do….so she says….but I think I just hide it better to be honest.
With a house move this summer, and then once moved, quite a bit of work to do to the house to make it acceptable, I have to save all my available credit card balances for that, and not squander them as usual on a trip to the States. Now, of course there is always Christmas…….stop it, and more importantly, stop me before I do something stupid!!
Speaking of the house move, things have kicked off, and I spent most of today filling out endless paperwork, and sending off pretty much every important document I possess to prove that I work, earn, exist and live as I claim I do. It is complex stuff this house move business, and I expect many a twist and turn before we eat that traditional take away amidst unpacked boxes on our first evening in the new place.
Planning a house move is substantially less fun than planning a trip to Florida. The costs are pretty similar, but the levels of resentment attached are just not in the same ball park. I can justify any cost attached to WDW, but paying some legal bloke a few hundred quid to check there isn’t an open mine shaft under my new house is just throwing money out of the window to be honest.
So with much expense to bear in the coming months if at any time you see me near a computer, all misty eyed, credit card in hand, please do the decent thing and stop me. I’m either just about to book a trip I can’t finance or I’m on one of those websites that require a credit card to proceed, and neither will lead to long-term happiness. Both give short-term relief to certain problems of course, and you do only live once!!
In other news, Louise became unemployed on Friday, leaving her steady regularly paid employment to become a student again. She has immediately bought three Smiths albums, some weed and two dozen pot noodles. On the plus side she won’t need to shower or wash her clothes for three years so that should save some cash!
This new lifestyle has also driven her to include the kids in this new hippy student lifestyle. Despite me putting my foot down and insisting it would NOT happen, both the girls had their noses pierced this week.
I nose this will be trouble
I enjoy my position of ultimate authority in our house. I have absolute power of veto as log as Louise agrees with the decision. In my experience, one out of two of every piercings goes wrong in some way, and involves yet more expense for lotions, creams, antibiotics or trips to the doctor, and this time my money is on Emily. Call it fatherly intuition.
So with three students in the house now, I expect to come home to a smoke-filled house, with three females suffering the munchies and searching through last week’s dirty washing to find something they can wear inside out. If we don’t own at least one Levellers album in the coming months I will be astonished.
So we plod on, holiday-less and hopeless, suffering the intense pain of absolute WDW cold turkey. Should any of you have a pot of money you aren’t using, and feel the need to donate us a trip, I would be delighted to accept, and even name the trip report after you. I have a minimal amount of pride I can assure you.
Greetings all. It has been a week more hectic than a hectic thing, and I feel like I have not come up for air until about now. The week at work was just stupidly busy, and on top of that at home we had numerous birthdays to celebrate and events to attend.
On Wednesday it was Louise’s birthday, and she was greeted upon waking by me in my underpants, two sleepy teenagers, a card and a present. That sounds like an extract from Russell Brand’s autobiography, but really is was quite normal for birthdays in our house. Louise did a decent job of concealing her underwhelmedness at unwrapping a couple of books rather than the state of the art laptop she really wanted.
The books were relevant if not exciting as they are related to her impending studies. Yes, two books on how to mop up blood, sick and poop should cover everything the modern nurse needs!! It was not until much later in the day when she received the second part of her gift package at work that I felt better about the level of presentage.
Later that evening, all four of us ventured out to Mr Fu’s for a slap up meal. I don’t know what makes a meal slap up, but I think ours was up on the slapped front. We over ordered majestically, felt so full that vomiting was seen as a route to relief, and enjoyed the doggy bag left overs for tea on Thursday night too.
Wednesday also saw our nephew George turn six, so we popped round to give him his present after our meal, and as all six-year olds should be on their birthday he was still up, full of cake, excitement and pick and mix. He’d had a good day.
Thursday brought with it another family birthday, with my niece turning 21. You may remember we attended her party recently? Thursday also brought the taxi duties involved in the girls attending a gig. Luckily Thursday is Louise’s day off, so she was able to deliver them to the Manchester Apollo about eight hours before the gig so the girls could wait to catch a glimpse of the band as they arrived. Eight hours on a pavement to see half a beanie hat and a silly fringe through a crowd is commitment. The band in question? Youmeatsix.
What do you mean you haven't heard of us??The Gig!
I of course was on pick up duty, and by the time I got to them around 11pm, they were ready to start eating parts of the car, having not eaten since lunch, so a stop at the Golden Arches was in order on the way back. Still full from two chineses, I refrained. I am not a monster!
So after a manic week at work, signalled by my almost complete absence from any form of social media, what I obviously needed was to spend the weekend relaxing and doing something I love. With that in mind, I have been painting a fence for two days!!! I did not, until this weekend, appreciate the sheer level of fenceage that we possess. I have also realised that every single one of these spray your fence in six seconds contraptions is a f*%king con. I tried two different ones and they were both bobbins. In the end I resorted to the brush and good old-fashioned elbow grease.
The reason for the painting was another viewer for our house today. Our last viewers did come back with an offer, which I am still chuckling at, and then a second one, less ridiculous, but still not tempting enough so they bowed out of the process as they could afford no more. Fair enough. Our viewers today were a young family, who brought their young son, and their parents so we had five folks trailing round the house for what seemed like an age. We have taken this as a good sign, as even after they left the house, they stood at their car looking back at it and pointing at stuff. Either the roof is about to fall in and we haven’t noticed or they like the house.
We shall see what derisory figure they may pluck from the air.
If we can make the figures work, then we do have a house in mind. It isn’t far from where we live now, but it is crucially very close to the girl’s school, which will make our lives a lot simpler as it will be walkable for them, and, it is actually next door to my Mum & Dad, and literally a one minute walk from Louise’s Mum. My brother also lives a stone’s throw away, so it will be a complete Williams zone. There is a long way to go until this plan comes together so I am remaining quite cynical about the whole thing, and assuming it won’t happen. Louise on the other hand has pretty much moved in, picked out a new fireplace, and no doubt several wallpapers.
Before I go, I thought I’d let you know that I have set up a Facebook page for Mkingdon! I know, I know that sounds so far up my own arse that I’m coming out the top of my head, but bear with me. I have no idea if it will work, be of any use to me, or of any interest to anyone else, but I thought I’d give it a go really just to see how these things work. I intend to use it to post stuff I write on this blog, and the stuff I do for WDW Dads. I may get bored with this very quickly, as I am reaching social media overload.
I have called it MkingdonWDW, as I do intend to write more stuff about WDW in future. If I can’t go there, I’m gonna write about it instead. I know you love these banal updates on fences, dog haircuts and family events, so I shall try to get the balance right!!
If you feel interested or sympathetic then please visit my Page and give me a Like. This matters it would appear, and if I get over 30, then special things happen. I think Mark Zuckerburg visits my house with a commemorative plaque.
Regular readers know that on the odd occasion that I have to go to London, I do so with a heavy heart and a desire to get in and out as quickly as possible. Last week was no different. It was the first journey to the capital with the new company, and so had added elements of dread as I am still very much in the zone of trying not to look like a right tit as much as is possible.
Upon reaching London I do go a bit touristy to be honest, and with a new company comes a new office venue, and this one in the heart of the West End. As you might imagine, the streets in this part of London, are filled with hundreds of theatre types dancing on top of taxis in pink leg warmers, the dancers in leg warmers, not the taxis! We stopped for a £7 coffee in Haymarket, and had to wait ages for Bob Hoskins, Julie Walters and Robert De Niro to decide whether they wanted a croissant or a skinny muffin.
So having walked with slack jaw past Eros, those large boards with Coke on that you see on the telly (and I don’t mean Frankie Cocozza’s dressing table) and a myriad of theatres I got to the offices and proceeded to blag my way through a series of meetings, nodding when everyone else did, and somehow fumbling my way through a presentation or two.
The reason for all this pre-amble is that during a break in proceedings I had a wee, and I think it may be a contender for an award for The Wee with the Best View in Britain!
A loo with a view
These are the perks of working in the heart of the capital I imagine. A nice as it is to look at the London Eye whilst peeing all over your shoes, it does not (for me) make the daily use of the tube anything like bearable. I am much happier sat in first gear for an hour traveling the twelve miles or so to the office!!
So the day was pretty much a success, as the meetings went well and I was back home before 8pm.
The highlight of the day, without doubt though was the phone call I got from Emily on the way down. She was due to pick up her GCSE results for her Maths re-take. Having inherited the Williams aversion to Maths, she too did not pass it first time around. This is a family tradition, and having retook it recently she had not exuded confidence about passing this time either. I do admit to being a little nervy for the first hour of the journey, whist trying to engage in jaunty badinage with the boss next to me, but once she’d called the trip seemed a little more bearable all round.
Thankfully, her call to me was a joyous one, as she had passed, and we were all absolutely delighted. Having mastered algebra and isosceles triangles she can now forget them forever and just wave her certificate at employers.
One downside of the journey down south was that I missed Rebecca perform in her GCSE Dance group that evening. One of the very few school performances I have missed since they started being sheep in the nativity in nursery! She did very well according to Louise, as a zebra! I imagine it very similar to the Lion King Show in the Animal Kingdom!
The rest of the week was relatively uneventful, my Mum’s birthday aside today. We popped round with a present and a card, and I spent a comfy hour in the restful grip of my Dad’s brand new “ladyboy” chair. Only the die hard long standing trip report readers amongst you may get that reference!!
We are now in the full maelstrom of March which is officially the busiest and most expensive month of the year in the world of Williams. It contains four family birthdays and three Mother’s days. Yes that’s three. My Mum of course, Louise’s Mum and Louise. As grown up as the girls are they still seem incapable of finding their way to a shop and procuring their Mum a pressie.
In other news, I, no we, as I include Louise in this, are in the full grip of WDW cold turkey. Like the full-blown addiction it is, we are metaphorically rocking ourselves slowly in the corner, quietly whispering random words such as Philharmagic, Applebees, Epcot, and overdraft. I cannot lie to you, we have both this week spent time on websites that contain flight searches. This has not helped, and in fact only reinforced how much we cannot afford to go this year. This makes me sad, in more ways than one.
So our house is like some scene from Trainspotting, but the train in question circles the Magic Kingdom. I made the very big mistake earlier this week of re-reading one of my trip reports as someone had just commented on it. In light of the coldness of my turkey, this was not a wise thing to do. It did reinforce my thinking that the writing of these trip reports is well worth the effort at the time, as reading them some years later really does allow you to transport yourself to the exact time and place. Let’s face it, that’s a lot cheaper than paying for flights.
I have to confess to not really being in the mood for my usual jovial glance back at the week just gone.
We’ve had a tough one, starting literally with the week, when Louise’s Mum called us early on Monday morning to say “she wasn’t feeling very well”. I’m not going to go into loads of detail, but Louise hasn’t stopped all week, backwards and forwards to hospital, after two admissions in the week. The diagnosis is still quite unclear, ranging from some sort of stroke to meningitis and although she is out of hospital, much the better for the medication, she’s far from right to be honest.
Louise’s Mum stayed with us here one night, in between admissions, and she’s now recuperating with another family member until everyone, including her, feel she is more ready to be home alone.
Add to all this that two other folk I know, one virtually, and one originally virtually but now also in real life, have also had pretty rotten weeks too. It isn’t my place to outline their events, or even really comment, but the sooner the week is over the better all round I think. Many of you will know who they are I’m sure.
Other events over the last week then pale into insignificance, and therefore I’ll refrain from rambling on about them here. Not even a pleasing week of football results can rescue it from the bottom of the league table of weeks. I can summarise events in one sentence. Work, waney lap repair success and walking the dog. To lighten the tone of this post, here is my mate Oli, now six months old, and becoming a very handsome young man, pictured on Saturday morning.
My mate
This may of course lead to a very short entry here, and me feeling that I’m short-changing anyone that cares. Imagining that anyone does care, and may well be feeling short-changed of anything, I have posted a new article over at The WDW Dads website. So please head on over there, and have a read by clicking this here link. It deals with the oft discussed topic of what age is the best to first take your kids to WDW. Consider it an attempt to inject some magic into a week bereft of any.
So with a respectful nod to friends with crappy news this past week, and a wish for Mary’s return to full health, I give this last week a two-fingered salute and one of my stares.
Onwards and upwards into a new week which will hopefully deliver closure on which bloody job I’ll be doing, and some improvements all round.
Final preparations continue for the new arrival. This week we erected Oli’s crate, and sacrificed half of the kitchen to accommodate it. We are all quite excited about our new family member, mixed, certainly in my case, with a fair bit of trepidation. For the girls of course all they can see are the good, fun bits, but although it is a while now since we had a puppy in the house, I can still remember how hard it is. Louise said tonight that it will be like having a new-born baby in the house again. However, they can wear nappies!!
As much as the week just gone must have dragged for the girls as they countdown to this arrival, it passed me by in a blur of constant and perpetual motion. Being busy does make the time fly, which is a bonus when it is time at work.
Big Daddy
Outside of work this week, I found another outlet for my written ramblings. For reasons that I cannot explain, a Disney website by the name of WDW Dads have added me to their roster of writers. I have been billed as “International writer”, which is perhaps the most exotic way in which I have ever been described. If you so wish, feel free to have a virtual wander over there. My first offering can be found by clicking this piece of text.
It is a fairly simple view of how a trip to WDW differs when you live on this side of the Atlantic. Now if you were all to make your way over there, and leave highly complimentary comments on that article, well who am I to try to stop you???
After the first article of course, I now have to think of stuff to write about in future, plus come up with someone to waffle about here, and finish the trip reports. Luckily, work is a dream and is not taking up any of my time currently!!
At home, yet another weekend has rolled by where I have been unable to mow my back lawn, and by that, I do mean the grass behind the house and nothing else. We have had a week of relative dryness, so I was hopeful that I would be able to tame the wilderness out there one last time before the ravages of winter roll in, sometime in early October. I haven’t had a mower on it since just before our holiday which is going on for six weeks now. Since our return, a mixture of a little bit of apathy and a whole lot of rain has denied any reduction to the green stuff.
Thinking this weekend would be the time, as I lay in bed early on Saturday yet another tropical style storm paid us a visit, and pretty much hung around all weekend. The lawn is wetter than the Total Wipeout course, and so it stays wild another week. Maybe it is possible to mow a lawn whilst it is covered in frost? I am not lay awake at night worrying about this, but I do fear for young Oli. We may lose him forever in the knee-high jungle that is our back lawn. Is it just a sign of old age to believe that every summer is worse than the last, and the only decent one we have ever had was in 1976? Perhaps, but I can’t remember a wetter one than this year.
Now that I have dazzled you with exciting lawn news, I could perhaps tip you over the edge with excitement, by dropping in that I have also got a new pair of slippers. Does anyone know where I can buy a pipe?
So to balance this level of banality, next week, rather than go to work, I am off to Rio, with Keith Richards and half a ton of Class A drugs. Maybe not. However, if the mood takes me I may lob my PC monitor out the window of the office, which would be very bad news for the swans and Canadian Geese that swim past my window all day. Salford Quays is an exotic place!
He cares not one jot about his back lawn
Don’t worry, next week I with fill this space with multiple puppy photos and tales of naughtiness and puddles on the floor. This has got to be an improvement on rampant lawns and slippers?
Just a brief post to say we are back home. We’re all knackered, Emily is still in bed, with her body clock all over the place.
My mind is making the slow and painful transition from Florida to reality, and with every “normal” activity it gets worse. I’ve just done the BIG SHOP, and all I will say is that doing that at Asda feels very different to the supermarket shopping we have done in Publix and Walmart!!
The full horror of work awaits tomorrow, and having made the woeful mistake of glancing at work emails on my phone whilst away, I know of some of the dross that awaits me. Joy!
As for the trip itself, it was excellent, and we have had a superb time. Yes, we missed Disney, and the holiday certainly felt different for the lack of it, but there are holidays to come to fix that of course. So in the absence of a lottery win, or an imminent chance of moving to the US, real life begins again. Meh indeed!
I will try to make a start to the trip report over the next day or so. First job is to get all the photos and videos loaded up ready to go.
It happens every year. Right around now, eight weeks out from our holiday, things conspire to remind me that we are actually going. Having booked stuff months ago, written up a plan of sorts, and other than the daily subliminal knowledge of the trip getting me through every stinking day at work, it is filed away, out of focus.
So when things happen like, getting a reminder that the balance is due on my car hire, and then realising that I needed to send the cheque off for the villa balance last week, the trip is brought sharply and quickly back into focus. Minor issues like, wondering where the spending money is coming from, who will look after the dog, his snot, and the gaggle of cats are front and centre after being ignored since we booked the trip.
In fact this wake up call started late last week, when Tom, the kind soul letting us rent his DVC points, emailed me with a confirmation of our reservation, and an offer to check us in ten days before arrival, but on Friday I was still in the eye of the storm at work, and it wasn’t enough to pull me out of it. Work is a maelstrom of change right now, and that change has landed a whole load of new people and problems on me, for which I have received a massive pay rise, oh wait, no, that last bit is wrong. However, in the relative calm of a three day weekend, I have luxuriated in the writing and sending of cheques for large sums of money, and even begun to consider the reality of going somewhere we love, and being warm for more than three days on the trot!
So after a very busy week, comprising of long days at the office, followed by starting work again at home in the evening, all the changes happened, things went pretty smoothly, and so far I’ve been able to avoid any work for nearly all of the weekend.
On Saturday night, we went to our local pub (I say local, it is too far to walk, and guess who drove?) to watch a band. They were the Faux Fighters, not surprisingly a Foo Fighters tribute band. We went with my brother, sister in law and niece, and took our girls and one of Rebecca’s friends too. It was a shame I was driving, as I needed a stiff drink after paying £6 each to get in (we actually negotiated a £1 discount each based on the sheer volume of people in our party). I once watched Go West at the Manchester Apollo for less than that. Granted that was in 1986 but still!!
Fee Fi Faux
They were pretty good. My brother and I, being seasoned musos of course, were a little disappointed with the drummer, but apart from that they sounded like the real thing pretty much which is all you can ask for a tribute band, and they certainly got the crowd going. So much so that one berk, whilst dancing and jumping around launched his beer over half of the audience, including myself and Emily. Sweet retribution came to him later though as he was ejected from the pub, and soon after arrested for fighting outside (not faux fighting, real fighting!). Top night son, well done!!
Rebecca enjoyed herself by harassing a couple of teachers from her school. I say teachers, but apparently they were “technicians” who run the events, sound systems and all that stuff (it is a media college so they have sound studios, TV studios and all that jazz, although I don’t think they are limited to just jazz!!). These poor lads had come out for a bit of a pogo and a drink only to find two fourteen year old girls dancing next to them.
Now these technicians are only young, I’d say in their early twenties and one of them, according to Rebecca is, “dead fit”. Conscious of the need to avoid a court case or newspaper scandal I had my eye on her all night. I wasn’t worried about him!!!
The gig finished late, and by the time we got home, got everyone to bed, and I’d had my tea and toast whilst catching up on the Champions League final, it was nearly two when I got to bed. This led directly to an event, again not seen since about the time I went to watch Go West for £6. On Sunday I had a lie in until lunch time. Granted, I was not technically asleep for all that time, but the sheer joy of lying in bed and not having to get up for that amount of time was superb, and probably a reflection on the sheer hard slog the last few weeks at work have been.
Having wasted half the day in bed, Louise and I then wasted the rest of it by lazing around (aside from Louise driving the girls to a music festival in Darwen) and then going to see the Hangover 2 at our local Cineworld. Let’s get the important stuff out of the way. Yes, it was an ice cream and pick n mix bonanza again, but I have to admit that I felt very sick before I’d made any sort of dent in the latter, and had to on board a few of Louise’s nachos to counter act the limitless amounts of sugar coursing through my every shrinking arteries.
Monkeys and Man Sex.
The film itself was very good. It of course followed very closely the same formula as the first, but unless my memory of the first is unclear, this one is much darker, ruder and has loads more sex and swearing in it. Top drawer!!
Once I had quelled the urge to vomit, found some insulin and necked half a bucket of coke (diet) the film had quite a few laugh out loud moments, and not many films can say that.
So after picking the girls up from their festival (Louise did that), we had a late tea (no dessert, I’m not an animal), crashed on the couch, and watched some Man v Food. Luckily, I had overcome my aversion to anything with sugar in it by the time he rolled out the deep-fried cheesecake on a stick. My powers of recovery are such that given half a chance, at that point I could quite easily have done a fair slice of that.
I often curse my slow metabolism as being the reason that I am prone to pile on a few pounds, because as you know, my eating habits are beyond reproach.
So with Monday here, and no work, another day of not doing a lot meanders along. We’ve had two of the girl’s friends sleeping over this weekend of course, nothing changes there, and as soon as I’m done here I shall be having the daily chat with Emily about how much revision she has/hasn’t/will/won’t be doing today.
Eight weeks and counting, or if you prefer, 58 days. Count with me?
With a new trip booked, we are all, to varying degrees, (me more than most I admit) thinking about another journey to our favourite state, Florida. Even the girls, who can be ambivalent to the (what seems to be an) annual event, have been chatting about it, and last Sunday night, Rebecca asked if we could watch “the Florida DVD”. This happens to be from our 2001 trip, which shamefully is the only one I have actually spent the time on to “cut it” into as working DVD, with music and everything.
So, not needing much encouragement to wallow in some magic we put it on.
Wow! Back in 2001 the girls were 6 and 4, and of course looked very different. There was a distinct lack of eye liner for a start!! I have to admit to feeling a little emotional about the whole thing, and of course Louise and I made the usual comments about time whizzing by, and understanding why Grandparents take such delight in their Grandkids, having missed their own kids growing up in a blur of careers, housework and day-to-day nonsense.
I need a spoon Daddy!
The DVD itself contained scenes from The Garden Grill, Fantasmic, and two lovely scenes, one from Beaches and Cream, where Rebecca’s face is a picture of wonderment contemplating the milk shake in front of her that is bigger than her head, and lastly, a scene in our All Stars Music hotel room, where the girls re-enact the parade, in their Cinderella and Belle dresses. I’m sure I’ve told you about this stuff before??
Emily had the Princess wave down to perfection, and was for those brief moments a Princess. You could see in her face that she absolutely believed it, and was beyond happiness.
Now in the context of just having booked yet another trip, and worrying ever so slightly about the creative ways in which we shall be affording such an extravagance, within the space of a few seconds of each other, both Louise and I said exactly the same thing, in slightly different words.
“Worth every penny!”
To be fair, I think Louise was referencing the ridiculous cost of the dresses we had bought them (and did every year until they got too big). For me, it was bigger than that. With every passing year, that DVD becomes more powerful. By the time they leave home, turn 21, or get married, I shall be a weeping uncontrollable mess before anyone presses Play!
Even uber cool Emily, at 15, updated her status on the bible of teens, Facebook saying that “Disney made her happy!” It does. I don’t know why. The whole brand wraps you in cotton wool, whispers in your ear that everything will be OK, and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. This state is how they get you to hand over such huge sums of money with a smile on your face.
Man, Mouse, Magic!
I think that no other brand on the planet has this impact on its customers. Universal, in many ways very similar in terms of product, comes nowhere near the experience. Don’t get me wrong, Universal do lots of things very well, but it is just different.
As a brand, Disney get into the physce of their customers in a way that blows the mind. Add to that a product of such quality that no-one can compete, and it is a juggernaut that cannot be stopped. At a top-level, they do a few things very well –
Exceptional customer service as a given
Cater for all ages equally
Ensure things are always clean and neat
However that is moving towards far too clinical an analysis. If you start digging too deep into the theory of Disney, then you run the risk of unmasking the ugly corporate beast that lies beneath. From the very beginnings of the company, Walt was renowned as ruthless and incredibly focussed on success, and even today, the power of Disney is legendary. You only have to witness any sort of minor fall or accident in a park to see the “machine” in operation. Out of nowhere, multiple Cast Members appear, with audio ear pieces and walkie talkies, surrounding the “victim”, and whisking them away from the public gaze as quickly as possible.
This of course is no doubt the first stage in an operation to remove any risk of the member of the public suing Disney, but should the worst happen (from Disney’s point of view), then the aggression and quality of their legal power is again something of legend.
Remember, nobody dies on Disney property!!
I am open to the suggestion that my kids (and me) have been brainwashed in the past twelve (or 30 in my case) or so years, and that they are not a good stick by which to measure this, but I don’t think this totally explains the whole thing.
What this experience has reminded me is that –
a) The money on these trips is an investment to be repaid in later years.
b) I really must get my arse in gear and “do” the other half-dozen lots of video into a DVD.
What I fear is that I shall become an over emotional, weeping wreck whilst doing so. God help me if and when we ever have Grandkids. I will indeed be leading the charge up Main Street to Splash Mountain with young Gerard and Hayley (I’m guessing the girls will name their kids after their current musical heroes), with Louise raising her eyebrows and giving me her knowing look which tells me I am going all Chevy Chase again.
Well, bring it on. As long as the girls don’t bank on me leaving them any cash once I’ve gone to the big castle in the sky then all is well.
All of this may seem like an odd outburst for someone who is claiming that they won’t be stepping foot into a Disney park this year. Well, maybe, but I am confident we won’t. In fact to prove my resolve, it is probably timely to share our plans for our upcoming jaunt.
We fly out on the 28th of July at 8.30am. That’s an early flight at the best of times, but as we flying from Heathrow, it would be a little testing to make it from Bolton. So on the 27th we’ll load up the Mondeo and head on south to the luxurious Travelodge Heathrow Central. At an extravagant £27 for the four of us, I can safely say this will be the cheapest night of our plans.
I have booked parking at the Long Stay thing at T3, and handily that is where we fly from. A few hours later we touch down in Toronto, and after a couple of hours, we complete the journey down to Fort Lauderdale, arriving at around 5.30pm local time. One of the quandaries I have been wrestling with recently has been what to do upon arrival. I did not know whether we should hunker down in Fort Lauderdale for the night and then drive down south(er) the next morning, or to bite the bullet and endure a matchsticked eyelid drive down to Key Largo.
I have gone for the latter, embracing a “He who dares wins” attitude, and hoping for the usual adrenaline filled euphoria fuelling my body for the drive.
Lots of Hilton, no Paris!!
At Key Largo, we are booked into the Hilton. This was primarily driven by our lovely experience at Daytona last year, some good reviews on Trip Advisor, and the fact that it was on the beach. This is crucial for us throughout this trip, as the four of us have different tastes between pool and beach and it is lovely to have both next to each other so each can do their own thing. We have three nights there, and during that time we will drive down through the Keys to explore what is has to offer.
This takes us through to the 31st of July, and we then make the journey cross-country to Naples. Again through a mixture of google, trip advisor and inordinate amounts of time on the internet, I have plumped for Naples Beach Hotel and Golf Club. This again is right on the beach front, and hopefully is as nice as it looks. With five nights there, it had better be. During that time we are off to a baseball game on one evening. We are this time supporting the Fort Myers Miracles. Again, the value is incredible, at $8.50 each! Other than that we have loose plans to perhaps visit the zoo, but mainly, we will relax!
After these two new experiences we then head off to more familiar territory, with the next two nights at Vero Beach. Although we are not DVC members this place truly feels like coming home. Hopefully if the waves are performing I shall be showing off my world-renowned boogie boarding skills. You have been warned.
Then finally, we head “home” again, with our last five nights in Orlando. We have a villa booked now, at Lake Davenport, courtesy of course of yet another kind Dibber. Shamefully my planning for those last few days is centred mainly around our favourite eateries, and we should just have time to squeeze in –
Applebees
Bahama Breeze
Olive Garden
Romanos
We have also made arrangements to meet up with Jakki, Steve, Aodhan and Niamh, as is becoming a tradition now (probably much to their regret). As nice as it is to see them, this year, the fact that we can watch Wishes from BLT with them adds to the occasion!!
So as you can see we have no theme parks planned, and certainly nothing Disney on the cards (OK, OK, Wishes is sort of Disney but we’re cadging it for free courtesy of Jakki and Steve!!). We MIGHT go for Universal if funds allow nearer the time, as it would require a night at the Hard Rock, as we just couldn’t do it without FOTL I’m afraid. We’ve been spoilt.
So there you go, if your internet has been a bit slow over the last few weeks, that would have been me using it all up, reading and researching these new things and areas we are visiting, and I have a bit more to do. However, it is nice to have the basics in place now.
For anyone not able to go this year, I can can only apolgise for the planning orgy!!!
It has been another quiet, uneventful week in the World of Williams.
I am of course being sarcastic, as the major event was a worrying turn of events for my Dad. He went into hospital on Wednesday for a routine operation, which involved a bit of keyhole, his liver and some graphic detail best skipped over here. All appeared to have gone well, and he was back on the ward recovering.
You always know when your phone rings at 2.20am that the news isn’t that good. My Mum phoned me asking if I would mind taking her to hospital, as they had just phoned her, saying that he was having some chest pain, and had been taken to the coronary care unit. Dad has a history of heart issues, and has had a stent fitted in the past. Fearing the news to be less than good, we travelled the few miles to hospital in double-quick time, and once on the ward had both the nurse and doctor tell us that it looked like he was having a heart attack, and that he would be going across to Manchester Royal Infirmary to have an angiogram.
Being full of morphine following his op, Dad was pretty oblivious to everything but the pain he was having, and we were advised to go home, let him go and have the procedure and call in the morning.
To cut to the chase, it turns out his stent had moved and/or got a bit blocked, hence the heart trouble. They sorted this, and he was fine. So he’s staying in over the weekend, but looks good to come home early next week, and begin his recovery from his operation. As I said, another quiet week then!
Hopefully then with this operation out of the way, and his stent fixed he can get himself right for the upcoming golf season.
I have to say, seeing my Dad in that situation is not going to make it into my all time Top Ten things.
Speaking of holidays (what a seamless segueway), I haven’t done that much planning this week, other than reading a few trip reports from others who have done the Keys, Naples thing. I also thoroughly enjoyed Bonzo’s report which was based in and around Orlando, but still flagged up something we will hopefully do in our few days in the area.
Bonzo made me aware of a Segway tour of Celebration which looks great. I had half an idea to visit Celebration again anyway, so the added attraction of doing it on some sort of big boy’s toy has sealed the deal. I mentioned this to the girls, and they burst into hysterical laughter. Once they had composed themselves enough to talk, I asked why they found it so funny. A simple answer….”The thought of Mum doing it!” they said, and again collapsed in laughter.
Anyone who saw Louise’s attempts at boogie boarding at Vero Beach may indeed agree that the potential for calamity when you mix Louise and a Segway is quite large.
Emily was glad of the light relief as she is currently buried in coursework for her GCSEs. This week, the main thrust was Media Studies, as she had to have all that submitted for Friday. I will say that her planning skills and time management left something to be desired, but she somehow got it done and in just in time.
One of the main things she had to do was to film, edit and produce a film trailer. Being a big horror film fan, it will not surprise you to see the work of art below courtesy of YouTube. It stars Emily’s friend Kirsty as the main character (victim) and Rebecca as “the baddie”.
Bless them, it took hours of filming in freezing temperatures to get enough footage to make the minute and half’s worth of trailer. It also involved Rebecca wearing a lovely mixture of jam and water all down her face for hours on end! My O Levels were slightly less interesting, with me spending weeks learning about truncated spurs and the French Revolution!!
So here is to a quieter week next week, with Dad home and healthy, and I’ll settle for work being tolerable. Emily is moving on to her English essay, and I shall moving onto her back to make sure she doesn’t leave it until the last-minute again.
I hope all yours are healthy dear reader, and as usual,
It seems a little trite and inconsequential for me to witter on about the unimportant events in my life, with the catastrophic events in Japan and beyond this week. It is something I can’t really get my head around, and so I can only express my horror about it all, and send my thoughts and best wishes to anyone connected to these tragic events.
Returning to banality, much has happened in my little world this week. I shall quote myself from last Sunday.
“For now I have resigned myself to a sort of defeat on the flights front. I have not given up, and will not of course, but March brought with it an increase to the already silly prices. I had been banking on Thomas Cook, but they have put their prices up, and even when they were lower, by the time you click-through to book and find that you need to add-on those optional extras like luggage allowance and in flight oxygen, they were not much different from everyone else, albeit direct.
So I’m playing the waiting game, holding my nerve until either I or the airlines blink.”
Who then could have predicted the strange events of the following day? There was I sat at work minding my own business, when an email lands in my Inbox from Ocean Florida. I had asked for a quote a few days earlier, and chuckled at the returned prices, as they were in line with the other silly ones I had seen.
This email promised much, but as I get lots of emails that do that, I was about to delete it along with the ones for those blue pills, and the claims to make things longer. But wait, it said there was a one day only sale, and they had unbeatable prices for all July and August dates. Expecting to fall foul of the usual trick where the actual price quoted is three times that in the email, I called anyway, as it was either that or do some work.
Canada, O Canada!
When I called, the staff at Ocean seemed genuinely excited, and a bit busy. After a bit of chat it seems that they suspected some sort of system blip, with prices available that were just unheard of for school holiday dates. We threw some options around, but at the end of it all, I had a price that started with a 5 for a flight into Fort Lauderdale for fifteen nights. We could have gone into Orlando, but it suited us not to, as we want a different trip this time. We fly back out from Orlando on the way home though. Both legs have connections in Canada, Toronto on the way out and Montreal on the return.
A slight drawback is a departure from Heathrow, but even with the now booked Travelodge (£27) the night before and some petrol, it made sense.
So confronted with a price that I knew was fantastic, and a chap on the phone telling me that these seats were literally vanishing before his eyes, I bit the bullet and went for it. Job done. Funny how things can change in 24 hours then.
So Monday was eventful enough then, without what then followed that evening. Emily and Rebecca had been asked to film a question for David Cameron whilst they were in Manchester on Monday evening. They had gone in as a last-minute decision trying to get a wristband for a One Direction signing. Emily is obsessed with one of the anonymous haircuts within their number. Whilst waiting (fruitlessly it turned out) a Producer approached them and they committed a question to camera, after only a dozen or so takes. The giggles took hold!!
So after signing a quick consent form on Tuesday, we waited to see if they made the final cut on The One Show that evening. Having had to endure nearly all of the show, we had almost given up on it, and then, right at the last moment, they were shown.
A small gathering had, well, gathered upstairs as the girls and friends huddled round a TV upstairs. As the clip began, the screams were heard, and what sounded like a herd of elephants danced around above us. Once the hysteria calmed down, Sky+ was hammered as they played it back a few times. Fame at last for them. Dibbers around the land also recognised the girls it seems, and I suppose their fame has now progressed from the internet to TV!
So a hectic start to the week. Like many of you Florida obsessives out there, throughout the week, having secured flights, I have been pulling together the bare bones of a plan, and with this trip taking place right outside of my comfort zone, it is proving a little tricky. Research has been the name of the game, but here is the work in progress.
Most of the first week will be spent in South Florida, based in Key Largo for two days, then five days in Naples. The first booking to be made was for Vero Beach, a place we have all fallen in love with, and courtesy of Tom , yet another kind Dibber, points were rented, and two nights booked.
After that we drive up to Orlando, for the last five nights, and I am just in the process of securing a nice villa off the 27. There shall be no Disney theme parks this year, for two reasons.
1. It costs a fortune and we are on a budget
2. We’ve done it to death, and need a break.
We might do a night at the Hard Rock, and a couple of days in the parks there, but we’ll see how the funds go. The main focus of this trip will be sand, sea, pools and relaxing. Oh and food!
Getting in the way of vital planning and research this weekend was the arrival of our wardrobes! They took four weeks to come, and just so happened to arrive on the same day as Rebecca’s new bed. The bed was trivial when compared to the weight, hassle and complexity of the wardrobes. With spotlights, full mirrored doors and the weight of a small tank, it took me all of Saturday (literally) and then needed my Dad to help me finish, as the lifting needed more than little ole me.
They look good though. I on the other hand am an old aching mess.
It is funny how the arrival of one piece of furniture can trigger a chain reaction of things in the house. Rebecca’s new bed means that I had to dismantle, move and then rebuild her old bed into our (now) spare room, in preparation for “her German” in a few weeks. This meant that the PC and desk in there had to go up into the loft (plenty swearing…imagine camel and eye of needle stuff), and a general clear out of the wardrobes in the spare room, which was Rebecca’s room…still with me?
I’m tired just typing that lot.
So the weekend passes in a blur of Alan keys, screwdrivers and bits left over, followed by the obligatory trip visit with enough cardboard to construct a small village. I am off to bed now to see if I can somehow get to sleep despite the excitement of another week in work!
For now I have resigned myself to a sort of defeat on the flights front. I have not given up, and will not of course, but March brought with it an increase to the already silly prices. I had been banking on Thomas Cook, but they have put their prices up, and even when they were lower, by the time you click-through to book and find that you need to add-on those optional extras like luggage allowance and in flight oxygen, they were not much different from everyone else, albeit direct.
So I’m playing the waiting game, holding my nerve until either I or the airlines blink.
I had one of those weeks that fly by in about two seconds, which means that I am busy and getting old. No sooner had I got through the depressive state of Sunday night, than Monday melded into all the other days, and I was at Friday all over again. In a way of course I like the fact that the working week whizzes by, but I do worry that I’ll be dead before I know it, and I wouldn’t mind not wishing every week away.
(PLUG ALERT) I wrote some on this topic on my new outlet for middle-aged ranting and meandering here (PLUG OVER)
On Thursday night I attended Rebecca’s parent’s evening. I say evening, but it started at 4pm, and was over by 6pm. Last time I looked that was afternoon, and as long as it suits the teacher’s to hold it at this time then of course that is cool. The rest of us can just rearrange our lives to suit. Rebecca is doing fine at school, with the main thing being that (almost) all her teachers are reporting good effort, even if she won’t be breaking any records in the grades department. Later tonight we shall convene at the kitchen table to finally decide on her options for GCSE. Sadly for Rebecca the list does not contain GCSE courses in texting, My Chemical Romance or “fit boys”.
Emily is nearing the end of her GCSE courses, and again, no doubt much like every other Year 11, isn’t doing enough revision, course work or stuff that doesn’t involve the things listed above in Rebecca’s GCSE course wish list. Ritually though we go through the motions of giving her a hard time about it, in the vain hope and belief that it makes the slightest difference.
In other non Williams news this week, it seems it is de rigeur to be coming spectacularly off the rails and in most cases straight into rehab. Charlie Sheen, Demi Lovato and Dougie off of McFly all seem to be doing their best to take their privileged lives and piss them up against the nearest wall.
Winning WaysLiving Lovato Loca
Having never been rich and/or famous I cannot of course empathise with their plights, and it is very easy for someone who actually has a normal job to imagine why someone with more money than they will ever require, in jobs they presumably love, then proceed to try very hard to knacker it all up by drinking/drugging and Sheen’s case winning it all away. Is it too simple to tell them to pull themselves together? Perhaps we should place them into shock therapy, and transplant them until further notice into a regular life. Take away their money, pay them an average wage and have them battle with normal issues, like paying the mortgage, and wondering if they can afford a holiday this year. Once they have done a few weeks in a monotonous nine to five, and realised that it lacks glamour, interest or stimulation, it might make them realise that it is these folk, the professional worriers, that need the drink and drugs, and not they, as their lives should be cool enough without external stimulants.
Hello....McFly!!
Don’t get me wrong, I like Charlie Sheen, (I love Two and a Half Men) have tolerated Lovato on TV, and have been known to tap a toe to a McFly track, but I don’t have that much sympathy for them as they crash and burn into rehab or law suits.
Meanwhile I’ll see you all on the commute tomorrow, at the start of another week of work. Mind you now that I have topped the 200 mark on Twitter followers, and write for another website, surely I qualify as famous now? So, by Wednesday I’ll have overdosed on Costa Coffee, Millie’s Cookies and anything else they sell in the Lowry Outlet at Salford Quays (office is next door), and I’ll be tweeting absolute nonsense in a Sheen style. Hmm, not much will have changed then.
To the chaps who look after the servers and stuff that support the Kayak website I apologise. I fear I have given your infrastructure a bit of a beating this week, not only from the laptop, but also from your excellent iPhone app. I can report that all is functioning correctly, apart from one element. No matter what bizarre combination of dates and departure and arrival airports the resultant figures displayed do not please me.
Your pull is strong!
So as you can probably guess, we are still looking for flights. The best we can seem to find are with Thomas Cook, direct to Sanford in August. They come in at £619 each but do mean that we have no seat back TVs and a seat pitch so small that you have to stand up all the way, like one of those standy up rollercoasters! The rotters are charging £419 three days later!!
Even if we do end up in Florida, the deal is that we do not do the Disney theme parks. Universal is on the cards, with a stay at the Hard Rock, but our Disney fix would be limited to Downtown Disney, and a look around a couple of resorts. I am Ok with this, as we don’t need to do the WDW parks again, after eleven years on the trot, and a bit more relaxing would be a nice change as long as the girls can cope with the inertia. In theory this shouldn’t be an issue, as when they are at home it takes a small incendiary device to get them to do anything at all. If we do a villa, with the internet, a pool and a TV then they can amuse themselves much as they do at home. Crucially, unlike at home, I won’t have to drag my sagging body out of bed at silly times, sit in traffic and drizzle for an hour to then sit in an office I don’t want to be in, doing things I don’t want to do.
Instead I could drag my sagging frame to the pool, unleash the guns on the neighbours and eat high fat nonsense, whilst occasionally dipping in the pool. Outings consisting of –
Shopping – To enhance my position of Husband/Dad of the Century
Mini Golf – Fantasia Gardens is overdue as the kids were 4 and 2 the last time I inflicted humiliating defeat upon them (it still counts)
WDW Resorts – Always a favourite past time of mine, and even the girls can put up with it, as it will probably involve “cute American boys”.
Eating – As you may know from my trip reports, we are pretty good at this, and in fact our days have often been constructed around our plans for food!
Should keep us from getting too bored, and with a few days at Universal with FOTL privileges, and then some time on a beach, it sounds like I have given this plan some thought!! As if. By the way, for the coast bit, I may be in the market for some DVC points for a bit of Vero action should anyone have any going spare?
Still, until someone is willing to carry us across the Atlantic for something less than the ridiculous sums being quoted, all this expert planning is for naught.
Away from holiday planning, the week has been fairly normal. Thankfully, it has been without medical emergency. It has been half term up here, and Louise took the chance to take Emily to look for her prom dress. One was found, and I was despatched on Saturday to pick it up. I shall refrain from any photos at this point, but fear not, at the time she actually wears it, I shall bombard you with proud Dad photos! I haven’t yet told Rebecca that due to the cost of the dress she’ll have to wear it too, and if at all possible both may get married in the bugger too!
A Paul-ished effort
Saturday evening saw us out together as a family. This took some organising. I had to book the girls well in advance, and it was nice to do the family thing. We went to the local cinema and watched Paul. Having not been to the cinema for a while, I made the most of it with both a three scoop Ben and Jerrys, and soupcon of Pick n Mix. Of course I felt sick, but as they say, no pain no gain. I can recommend Chunky Monkey, Phish Food and Cookie Dough as a combo made in heaven.
With Louise’s famous New York Cheesecake in preparation for tea, I fear my meager efforts at exercise this weekend may be in vain! We (well, Louise) has purchased a rowing machine, and I expended more sweat erecting the thing than actually using it, and I suppose there is a common issue for men of my age! All the effort in getting it up, meant that the time actually “in action” was brief. Enough? OK.
Back to the film. Paul is great. I have liked pretty much everything Simon Pegg has done, and I wasn’t disappointed at all. It is funny and entertaining, and if you can forgive the language (the girls hear worse during my DIY sessions), it is fun for all the family, unless your kids are toddlers!!
I have to go now, as preparation of the Sunday roast is down to me today. I have to say these Sunday roasts are not my favourite. The enormous effort involved in actually cooking stuff properly never lives up to the minutes it takes to eat them. In fact I may nip down to the cinema and get my triple scoop combo instead, and follow that with some cheesecake!
Let me finish with a plug. I was very flattered to be asked to contribute to a new web site called www.nottheface.co.uk this week. So I did, and my first “effort” is now up there, so please click along and have a read….not my bit necessarily, as there is much goodness there, but if you don’t read mine I will hold it against you!! If you all comment on mine too, it will make me look urbane, insightful and popular all at the same time. It won’t surprise you in terms of content and style I’m sure!!
Right, let’s be having these roasties and veg then….
It is a constant inconvenience that I live on the wrong continent. Yep, you guessed it, the annual addiction has kicked in, and both Louise and I have reached the “Goddam it, we need a holiday” point simultaneously.
I have therefore spent my week using a Kayak, and I don’t mean one of these.
Not this type....www.kayak.co.uk
It is therefore a thorn in our collective sides that there is a huge piece of water between us and our desired destination. Well I say our…I may have conceded that another trip to Disney is not on the cards, but my continent of choice is still North America. When asked why, I can only shrug my shoulders, reference the TV programmes Benidorm, and Shameless, and explain that if I wished to live in either, I am close enough to the dodgier parts of Manchester to do so.
This chunk of water is a right pain, as it takes an even bigger chunk of cash to sling shot our collective frames across it, and this, at this point seems to be a blocker. The complete lack of any budget at all is also a slight blocker, but still it doesn’t hurt to look does it? Well, I’ll tell you it bloody does hurt, as it rubs your untanned nose in it, that you have no chance of getting to your desired destination unless you either take the kids out of school (let’s not have a debate!) or simply leave them at home.
Should we be able to overcome the budgetary crisis and aviate ourselves to the US, our tentative, yet futile plans are quite loose. We are considering either a West Coast trip, or a return to Florida, but bypassing the routine of theme parks for a jaunt further south, to the beaches of the East Cost, and maybe the Keys.
Anyhow, I may as well be planning a quick trip around the moon. Both are equally likely.
In terms of the flight prices we are seeing, well the average is around £750, which when you times it by four is just north of way too much for us. I don’t know why I do it to myself, but if I nudge our dates out by a day or two, until just after the girls have to be back at school, the prices fall mockingly into our “that’s reasonable” bracket. Education is over rated I think, however, at the ages they are, there is no longer the option to take them out of school. Emily will be starting sixth form next September (Yes, I know, incredible!) and Rebecca Year 10. Back when they were at Infant and Junior School I think we did take them out for a day or two, and they managed to catch up with the colouring in OK.
Louise is less precious about the destination, and just wants some sun and relaxing. I’m up for that, but I fear we have created a monster with the girl’s expectations of a holiday, and after about four days “sun bathing” they may be climbing the walls, and be on the verge of mass murder for an internet connection.
A quick look at other cheaper, non US options shows that a private villa in somewhere like Spain would be do-able, but I think even Louise would admit that this is a definite Plan B, and one we shall keep as that until all other avenues are exhausted.
Another Saturday night has passed without the correct sequence of balls (this is merely a lottery reference!!), and so we trundle on, battering the internet, hoping that some combination of inputs may make the page throw up some numbers that start with an acceptable figure. Perhaps if we fly into Alaska and drive down?? Believe me, I have looked at flight options similar to that.
Am I hopeful that we shall find what we need? Not really. I fear the flights will price us out of a trip this time around, and as much I will absolutely grumble, I shouldn’t. We’ve had a good run, and a year off would not be reason enough to herrumph through the year, spitefully cursing the financial crisis, rising fuel costs, and my lack of lottery win.
201 people can't be wrong!!
Finally, in other better news, I passed a Twitter milestone this weekend, and hit 200 followers. I appreciate this is not Stephen Fry like, but I am pleased nonetheless. If you follow me, thank you, and if you don’t, that’s probably wise, as the next few weeks may be full of flight price induced rage.
So if anyone spots a flight from Manchester to anywhere vaguely American, sometime in late August, that starts with something less than a six, give me a shout??
Many of you who read this rubbish have come to do so through the common interest of Florida holidays and more specifically Walt Disney World.
For me, when it all boils down, one of THE most important factors for my enjoyment of the happiest place on earth is the customer service. Calling it that seems to be a bit of an understatement really, as it goes beyond that, and I suppose, it is their ability to make their customers feel special that sets them apart even from their similar neighbours at Universal.
What I have found though is that now I have been spoiled by this experience, you tend to find yourself having to lower your bar of expectations when you are anywhere but on Disney property. Certainly in the UK, service that makes you remember it is so infrequent, you can’t remember it!!
This week, I experienced such customer service, but first some back story.
Previous blogs here have outlined my chagrin with my mobile phone. I say my mobile phone, but they aren’t really. They are supplied by work, as you know I would be far too tight to throw around hundreds of pounds on such devices. My HTC Desire was lovely, but it fell out with my Mondeo’s bluetooth, so I had to say goodbye to that, and the only other model in the dusty cupboard was an old HTC 2 (Windows not Android alas), with a screen like an iMax, and the speed of Anne Widdicombe.
I have endured it for a few weeks now, and was beginning to really fall out with it, when all of a sudden, fortunately, someone at work left, leaving a vacant iPhone. I expressed my disgust one last time at my current handset, and outlined the upcoming availability of said iPhone. Luckily it was all agreed, and last Friday one the Helpdesk boys brought it it over to my desk.
“It just need activating with iTunes” he says.
Sounds easy thought I, and I proceeded to abandon all work for the next few hours (as it turned out) in an attempt to make it work. It didn’t so I returned to the IT folk and became lost in meetings for most of the day. On my return, it was very broken indeed, and the real prospect of being stuck with my current phone filled me with dread.
I want to take you to a Genius Bar!
“I can send it away to get fixed” he says, ” or you could just take it to an Apple store and see if the Genius Bar can fix it”.
Here’s me thinking that the IT chap’s job was to supply working kit to employees. I did run an IT department for a while with my last employer, and if only I had known I could have abdicated fixing stuff to the staff.
“Yeh, the server’s gone down, but there’s a couple of screwdrivers and a manual in that drawer. Let me know how you get on”.
Spurred on by my abhorrence for the HTC, I left work early (I wasn’t going in my own time!) and made the short journey from Salford Quays to the Trafford Centre. I Dad walked to the Apple store, and joined the disciples of shiny in the shop. The Genius Bar at the back looked nice and empty, so I approached. Before I get anywhere near my tales of iPhone woe I am told I need an appointment. Oh!
I had visions of being booked in three weeks on Wednesday, but no there was a free one in twenty minutes. So I spent that time playing with shiny things in the shop, and funnily enough googling the specific error code my iPhone kept throwing at me, 1015.
There were lots of fixes offered, but they are all aimed at people who actually know what they are doing. Folk that have Jail broke it or something, and as I only understood about one word in four, I told myself I was in the right place for sure. My appointment time rolled around, and I was greeted by my Genius, and I outlined the issue.
I was hoping he’d say, “Oh yes, error 1015, we know that one, I just have to jigger this pokery and you are all set”. Alas no, he set the iPhone up, linking it to a laptop that probably cost as much as my car, and slowly and deliberately kept me abreast of everything he was doing. Having scanned my iPhone’s serial number he assured me it was within warranty, and they would sort it out whatever the issue was.
Within about two minutes he two was confronted with 1015, and confirmed that indeed, something was wrong.
So what was his fix? Simple, he walked to a drawer, pulled out a brand new iPhone, and gave it to me!
Now as Genius goes, I’m not saying this fix needs the brain the size of a planet, but in terms of customer satisfaction it is a gem. Not only did I walk away with a shiny new product, that works, the chap even apologised to me for having to come all the way to the shop to get it fixed!!
As I walked out of the shop, I closed my eyes and imagine I would emerge onto Main Street. Instead, I joined the hoards of Mancs getting in each other’s way on their way to New Look and Schuh, but still, it took all my will not to turn my warm glow of customer satisfaction into a mass spending spree between the rear of the shop and the exit.
It wasn’t just the quick replacement of something faulty, it was the way in which it was dealt with. With courtesy, speed, and an absolute determination to make sure the customer was not put out, or disappointed in any way.
As we encounter service like this so seldom, we tend to forget what impact it can have on a brand. I am not one of the Apple addicts that I have encountered, but I like their stuff. However, if this is the way they treat their customers, I may just hand over my salary every month and cut out the middle man.
So Friday evening was spent getting to know the iPhone again, and reveling in the ease of use, plethora of apps, and all round goodiness of it. Setting stuff like email up is simple, it is intuitive to get anywhere, and I remembered why it is the standard to which all other such devices aspire. I like it! The Desire was pretty much equal, but the lack of the handsfree funtioning was it’s down fall for me.
The week just gone doesn’t have much else to report other than this. The garage is more bedroom than garage now, which is good. We have four walls, and most of them are plastered. They even started tiling the en suite this week so we must be getting somewhere close to finished now. We’re at the stage now where we need to go and look at carpets, wardrobes, paint, and we did a bit of this on Saturday. The net result of that was to be astonished at the price of the paint that goes into the Dulux Paint Pod machine!!
Can we stop time please?
Saturday evening, Rebecca went off to a “proper” party in a function room and everything. This required a dress, shoes destined to cripple her and her looking about 23. It also required us to drop off and pick up her and her friend, again!! Anyway, by half nine she was ready to come home as those shoes were causing her long-term mobility issues.
Emily’s news this week were her Mock GCSE results. They were OK, enough to get her into the sixth form college, were they to be the same in the summer, but she was a little disappointed to be honest, and hopefully now she will realise that she can’t just turn up and get the grades she is capable of.
I live in hope anyway. “I have been revising” roughly translates into, I had my books out on the bed whilst conducting seven facebook chats, and listening to my iPod.
The summer of my O levels cruelly coincided with the World Cup, so I know all about distractions for revision. I remember vividly watching some crucial match whilst trying to understand truncated spurs (Geography) and how to ask for Black Forest Gateaux in German.
There are ever more distractions now, so I’ve threatened to bin her laptop should I not see suitable evidence of learning stuff. Victorian Dad, that’s me.
Despite a very tiring day on Saturday, we embraced the theme park commando ethos, and Adam made a point of setting his iPhone alarm for 8.00am. However, with the whole clocks going back thing, this all went wrong, as Adam manually adjusted his phone before going to sleep, only to find the iPhone then adjusted itself during the night.
All this confusion meant that when his alarm went off it was actually 9am, and not 8am. As welcome as the extra hour of sleep was, this now meant that all our plans of getting to the Studios early lay in tatters amongst our twisted duvets and dirty clothes.
However, we did not do anything stupid, like miss breakfast. After quickly showering, dressing and packing, we made our way down to the restaurant to find a fairly long queue to get in. This was a worrying sign for the day ahead. We were soon shown to a table, and unleashed on the crepery etc once again.
After checking out, we joined the cast of Ghandi outside the hotel, who were all waiting for the next bus to the parks. As it arrived, Adam trampled several small children and got on, but alas, I was trapped behind people who were quite frankly bigger than me, so I could not get past them. No matter, the next bus was only five minutes away, and I met Adam at the train station, after he had checked that France actually had trains running today. Luckily, today was one of those special non strike days in France.
Once again, the scrum to enter the park was large and unorganised, and we had to do it twice, once to get into the Disneyland park, and check our luggage in Guest Services so we didn’t have to cart it round all day, and then again to get into the Studios next door, as the latter has no facility to hold your luggage. When checking in my bag I put my receipt in my back Jeans pocket, along with my mobile phone (which now has a full charge!). That might be important later!
Don't get RC with me!
Adam was keen to try to ride the RC Racer ride first, as it was new. Having not arrived at the park at first opening our fears for the queue situation were large and valid, as the posted time was 75 minutes. As it was only likely to get worse, we decided to give it a whirl, and were then delighted to spot a single rider line. We clambered through and over a couple of barriers to get to it, and waited around 15 minutes for me to get on first, shortly followed by Adam a few minutes after.
I took a video of Adam’s go, which is both the wrong way around, and the reason I then had minimal battery for the rest of the day again!
The ride itself was another one of those that looked less intense than it turned out to be. I wouldn’t say I would wait 75 minutes for the two minute experience, but it was good fun, and worth the 15 minutes we waited.
Adam was not keen to ride Tower of Terror, and wanted to take some photos of the new Toy Story area, so I toddled off, VIP Fastpass in hand, to ride it solo. I couldn’t spot the Fastpass entrance initially, as it had a queue all of its own. I was shocked to realise that this queue was (mainly) French folk, waiting to speak to the CM, and see if they could get in now with a 2.30pm entry time!! I floated gracefully to the front, with my timeless, uber Fastpass, and endured the hatred as I was allowed into the hallowed halls. Once inside, I used local knowledge (from Orlando!) to stand at the right place in the library, allowing me to leave first and get to the loading area.
The ride itself is a good one. There is no forward moving section as there is in Orlando, but the droppy stuff is just as good.
After meeting up with Adam in the gift shop, we made our way over to the Rock n Rollercoaster. Another 75 minute wait is thankfully avoided with the magic pass, and again, a ride similar to Orlando, yet different. It was very good indeed, and brought out similar shrieks and screams all the way round.
Hello Mr Bonks!
Next, was one of my favourite attractions of the weekend, Cinemagique. This to me is a great example of what Disney does best. I don’t want to spoil anything for anyone yet to experience it, but it is a live action and film show, brilliantly executed, and thoroughly entertaining. As an added bonus for me it stars Martin Short, who I love in O Canada, and no matter how many times I see them, makes me howl with laughter, as Franque in the Father of the Bride films.
I did some extensive gift shopping in the area where last night Cast Members were “attacking” guests in a ghoulish manner. Today was business as usual really, and in a typical Dad type shopping session, we are were quickly in and out of the shop area, equipped with two suitable presents for the girls. Job done!
Having largely done the park now, in addition to what we covered last night, we headed for the exit, and across to the other park. You may have noticed a complete absence of food since breakfast, so we remedied this at this stage with a welcome Hot Dog at Caseys.
Suitably refueled, it was time to do battle on Buzz Lightyear. Being honest, my expectations of victory were low, bearing in mind Adam was a veteran of 35 previous visits. We got through the first battle, which was the usual congregation of confused French folk around the Fastpass entrance, trying to negotiate with the CM, that it really was time for them to go in.
With a wave of our “golden ticket” we were in, but still had a 10 minute queue or so before loading. As expected Adam wins easily, however he was very gutted that we both achieved the same level (Level 4) even though our scores were miles apart. I counted that as a creditable draw, and quickly moved on.
Star Tours was next, and this was almost identical to the one I am used to, apart from, of course, the fact that the pilot does the whole thing in French. No matter. Having ridden it countless times I knew the script anyway.
Dragon's Den
Next, we wandered to the castle. It was very pleasing to see that they have actually used it for something more useful than just a restaurant, and a place for Tinkerbell to jump off. There are shops of course, in which Adam bought a Christmas bauble, but they also have an area you can wander around, and do some sort of walking tour, plus in the basement, an impressive dragon in its lair.
After watching a few minutes of the show currently in progress in front of the castle, it was time to make our way out, and head for the train station. Upon collecting our bags, I discovered that my receipt must have fallen from my pocket upon me taking out my phone to see how little battery I had left somewhere in the park. Luckily, with some ID and a description of my bag, it didn’t pose a problem.
At the train station, Adam discovered that his original train was delayed by an hour, which would have meant he missed his flight, so after a quick review of the time-table he realised he had to take the train leaving, sort of nowish.
So a rushed thank you (from me) and good-bye, and he was off to his train. This left me with nearly two hours to kill until my train, so I set off for a wander around Disney Village. Having my bag with me, I was wanded at the entrance. Beggars can’t be choosers!! A touch more shopping happened, in which I picked up a present for Louise, and then had a general mooch.
Disaster was narrowly averted, when in a crowded shop, I turned around only to hear the bag on my back bash into a load of Disney mugs hung up in the aisle. I closed my eyes, and prayed that no further sounds followed, which would signal the smashing of the mugs, and either a quick getaway or a painful use of the credit card. Luckily, nothing fell to earth, and I quickly moved on.
Having exhausted my interest in retail, I went back across to the train station, bought a drink and sat outside people watching for quite a while. I then wandered around the station, and frustratingly discovered a source of power for my phone in the waiting room, about ten minutes before I was due to board!! A quick injection of juice, a tweet bemoaning the shocking battery performance of my phone, and it was time to go to the platform.
I won’t bore you with the details of the train journeys home, as everything was on time, and pretty uneventful. I will comment on the delightful food I endured on the Eurostar leg, which was basically a microwaved pitta bread with a slice of dairylea and wafer thin ham. It only cost me around £7, with a soft drink!
The walk from St Pancras to Euston was brisk, as the time between trains was short, but I made it quite easily, and took my seat in First Class (this is very cheap at 8.30pm on a Sunday night!!), and settled in for the last leg.
Louise picked me up just after 11pm, and I was more than happy to find my own bed about half an hour later.
I have to say that I really enjoyed the weekend, and would once again like to thank Adam, Juz and Craig (the DisneyBrit Podcast folk) for their generous prize, and of course to Adam for looking after me all weekend.
Having never really fancied or planned a trip to Disneyland Paris, I was pleasantly surprised by the experience. Once inside the parks, they are of the same quality of the Orlando parks, and indeed some parts are better! For me, my obsession is not just with the Disney parks, but now I realise it is with the whole Florida experience. The whole place feels like a theme park!! In Paris, I felt that once outside the gates, the “magic” did not pervade. I’m not saying anyone was rude, or we had bad service by any means. It is an intangible thing, that you just feel.
The one thing that did strike me was that unless you are careful, a weekend at DLRP, with the family could get very expensive very quickly. With flights (or trains), hotel, park tickets, food etc you could easily be into a couple of grand. I’m sure you can do it for less of course, with knowledge and experience, just like Florida, but I’m not sure I would want to invest that sort of cash into such a short break.
If money was not an issue I would gladly return, with the family, and have a really good time I’m sure.
Thanks for reading these unusual blog posts, and with these travel journals providing a break from sheds, garages, work and general Meldrew style moaning, normal service shall be resumed next time around.
Adam’s alarm woke us around 7am, so we had a plentiful five or six hours sleep, which was splendid.
Brown sticky stuff.....it's crepe!
We showered (separately), and made our way to the restaurant for breakfast. Things were pretty quiet at this time of day, and we had “kids in a sweetie shop” expressions as we cast our eyes over the pretty impressive array of wares on offer. A little cereal got us warmed up nicely, as we then progressed to the cooked items, which included, quite weirdly we thought, chicken sausages, and finally we have a really big crepe. That’s French for pancakes.
First on the agenda this morning was an interview with the manager of the hotel we were staying in (and the one next door) for the podcast. We loitered in reception until she turned up, and Adam had his microphone out and everything. She’s all polite of course, but it turned out she did not want to do an interview….at all. Not to worry, we accepted her offer of a tour around both hotels anyway.
Halfway through this I had a horrible sinking feeling that I had left my phone in the restaurant after breakfast and I was ever so slightly distracted for the latter part of the tour, being keen to get back there and find it.
Once we were done we quickly dashed back, but with no joy. I then realised that I was indeed an idiot, as I must have taken it back the room after breakfast, as I had taken a photo of the view from our window.
Still, I was still ever so relieved to see the little beast, charging next to my bed. This is a situation my darling phone would find itself in for much of the next few days.
Our room with a view
Senior moment over, we got ourselves ready for the day ahead, and headed for the parks. The bus service to the park was (as it was all weekend) pretty good, and we were soon on our way. Upon arrival at the main entrance, the weather was the worst we would see all weekend, with a light drizzle. However, the weather was nowhere near as grim as the queue to get in. A huge crowd was congregated, slowly inching its way to the bag check. It turned out that we were through it in a few minutes so it was not as bad as it looked.
A crowded entrance
At this point we needed to convert Adam’s magic letter to actual park tickets, so we joined the horrific looking queue at the Guest Services windows. There were only three of them, which would have been OK if they were just used for queries etc, but they were also being used for normal sales, despite there being about three hundred other sales windows ten yards away.
I would say we waited here for about an hour, with the star of the show being an Italian chap who occupied one of the windows for at least forty minutes all by himself. I obviously could not understand what he was discussing as I understand neither French or Italian, but I did feel quite a bit like punching him in the back of the head.
Finally after sorting our tickets, Adam suggested we go into Mickey’s Salon. Having no real idea what this is I of course agree. It turned out to be a special place for shareholders. It is a beautifully decorated room, with free hot and cold drinks, and the odd croissant, so it would have been rude not to partake. Anyway, with all this waiting around, it was hours since we had last eaten anyway.
Salon....
and on....
and on and on.
For me, it was at this point that things started to feel a lot like Disney, probably for the first time. Ironically, this experience is not available in Orlando for shareholders, for long complex reasons that I will not trouble you with here. So, like a 70’s disco, we were full of hot chocolate, and on our way to do some fun.
Ah not quite yet. One more stop at City Hall so Adam could pick up our essential VIP fastpasses. Looking at the hordes of folk around me as I waited, it was worth this wait, to avoid much more later on.
A pink castle
Now, whether this was Paris or Orlando, nobody was going to stop me taking the traditional first view of the castle photo. OK, so now it was definitely time for some fun type stuff, and we decided to ride Big Thunder Mountain first. Adam flashed the fastpass and we avoided the hour of queuing lesser mortals had to face. The ride itself was, like a lot of this place, strangely familiar yet different. The first thing I did realise was that if you come to Paris in the seriously cold months, then a couple of rides like this would see you picking ice out of your eyelashes. The wind chill factor took the temperature down a lot, so a balaclava would be essential kit in February!
We then wandered across to the Indiana Jones ride, and again from the special fastpass line, we boarded very quickly. I was mildly surprised to see that this ride went upside down, but coped manfully, and my warnings to Adam about my world-renowned coaster Tourette’s, were largely redundant.
There were some rides that didn’t have fastpass. After lodging my formal and official complaint about this we queued for Pirates for about thirty minutes. This seemed to pass fairly quickly, as it was constantly moving and we were chatting away about….well, Disney stuff. As the French might say, quelle surprise.
I remembered thinking that this version of the ride was probably actually a little better to the Orlando version. It felt longer (not that this is a guarantee of satisfaction of course!), and somehow more logical in the story line, although much of the ride is pretty much identical to its US cousin in many respects.
We then found ourselves in Fantasyland, and knowing that most rides here were aimed below our demographic, I still decided to queue for half an hour for the Pinocchio ride. Well, there is no point coming all this way and missing stuff out!
Two grown men waited 30 minutes to ride this!
Likewise Peter Pan saw two odd-looking (not old-looking in any way) blokes waiting amongst hundreds of kids, but hey I enjoyed it, and again felt this version slightly superior to the Orlando one. We walked across to Frontierland now. On this note, it was very odd for me not to have a clue where I was going, and not to have any sense of my position in the park. We long since stopped needing park maps in Orlando, so it was a little strange to be following Adam around all day. I think he knew where we were, based on his 35 previous trips!!
It was lunchtime now, actually around 2.30pm, and the eatery of choice was the Cowboy Cookout. We joined the line, and waited to order, and witnessed, in the adjacent queue the greatest contribution to Anglo-French relations since Sasha Distel. An English chap approached the French cast member on the till and started to order. However, he was of course using his best slow and loud English so that Johnny Foreigner could pick things up. However, being a part of the modern Europe he must have felt compelled to make some sort of effort to speak the lingo, and so we heard….
“Bonjour, could I have one diet coke and…..erm….deux….erm…..normal cokes”.
Genius. Sir I salute you.
The cast member, who no doubt speaks at least three languages, just carried on as if he heard this stuff all day everyday, and he probably does!
Our double cheeseburgers were huge, and tasty….and huge.
On our way over to Phantom Manor we passed Jack and Sally, and I don’t mean the characters from Coronation Street. The make up for Sally was excellent, and if I put some weight on, Jack’s suit might fit me nicely!
Jack isn't a character I am built to play....
Again, Phantom Manor was a no fastpass ride, so we settled in for a long wait. I think it was posted as a 75 minute wait, but it either wasn’t, or my memory has fooled me into thinking otherwise. Now, doom buggies aside, this ride is pretty different, and the house itself, to me, reminded me of the Bates Motel. You start with a stretching room type thing, but beyond that there are few similarities between the US and French versions. Both are very good, and both often stop mid ride a lot!
At this point we headed over to Space Mountain, which from the outside looks a very similar animal to the one I am used to. Adam warned me however that not much else was common between the two. After a restroom stop in Videopolis, which seems to be a vast auditorium built for a now dead attraction, currently being used to show old cartoons, and somewhere to eat your lunch, we took the fastpass back entrance, and still queued a fair bit. A sign of how busy the parks were today.
A mountain of space
Once at the point of boarding, it quickly became very clear that this is a VERY different ride. The fact that we got into a Rock and Rollercoaster style carriage with full on pull down restraints gave me a big clue that I had better take my glasses off for this one!
It was a wise move. It started like the Hulk, and I spent the next few minutes teaching the French some English swear words! A great ride though.
At this point, it was coming to the time that Adam had arranged to meet up with some of the cast from the Buffalo Bill show, for interviews for the Podcast, so we made our way out of the park.
Back at the Village, we waited a while outside the show, having a welcome sit down, and eventually Buffalo Bill (Trent) and Annie Oakley (Lesley) came out to see us. After brief intros and chatting, Adam whipped his microphone out, and launched into his interview, and I just loitered a bit trying not to get in the way.
They were both very lovely, and treated us both to a back stage tour of the arena. We shook hands with most of the cast, walked behind too many horses for my liking, and had a look at the buffalo too. They are pretty big!
Complete with our cowboy hats and tickets for the show we made our way front of house to mingle with the muggles now entering, and we watched the pre show in the lobby before going up to our seats in the arena.
At this point, we say goodbye to my phone (and therefore camera) for most of the rest of the weekend.
The food and drink were brought out almost immediately, and we take on board some welcome beer, and some pretty nice Chilli. I also had some (if not all) of the corn bread on offer! The rest of the savoury food wasn’t the greatest, but I guess this is to be expected at an event of this scale. The crumble to finish was nice though and we both made short work of that.
The show itself is based on the central sand arena, with lots of horse trickery, a section of songs including a few Disney characters, and it ends with a set of rodeo games that pit four different sections of the audience against each other, as we each cheered on our respective players. Good fun!
We left the show and headed for the bus. We were quickly back at the hotel, and in the room preparing for the Terrorific Night 2 at the Studios. This involved the addition of a few more layers of clothes, for me, a thicker warmer hoodie, an attractive hat, and gloves. Being two males this took us a matter of minutes, and we were back on the bus at 8.50.
Once at the studio gates we had the same organised chaos to get in. Having no bags, surely we could have simply walked through the no bag entrance? Alas, there wasn’t one, so we jostled with everyone else for about ten minutes. As we did get in, I was asked by a burly, surly security guard to open my coat, as with my 23 layers of clothes it looked like I was smuggling in a small child. I chuckled, and told him that I was simply fat, not a terrorist. My humour did not translate and I narrowly avoided Le Glove Rubber.
All around the park, the atmosphere was superb. Obviously at this point I had not seen the park in normal circumstances, so I could not judge how much work had gone into transforming it. Well, after seeing it the next day, my verdict was, quite a lot! Cast Members wandered the park, mingling with/attacking the guests, in some fantastic costumes. As the posters said, this was definitely an event for those over twelve years old. We saw one Dad rushing for the exit, carrying his young daughter who was quite distraught. Adam did a video of some of the night’s events.
Ride wise, we headed for Crush’s Coaster first. A ride unique to Paris, but also with a huge queue. This took around forty minutes, but the ride itself was very good indeed. Again, Adam told me it was very different to normal operations and I had to take his word for it. Anyway, it was a belter! Many of the attendees tonight had dressed up in Halloween costumes, and indeed I had come as a grumpy, overweight, balding UK Dad. Scary enough I think.
Next we decided upon the backstage tram tour, which for tonight had been rebranded as the Terror Tram (or something like that). As queues went, this was the Daddy of them all. It took an age, and towards the end we were both tired, cold and in danger of losing the magic a little. Finally we got onto our tram and set off. It all began quite normally, but soon enough the usual pre-recorded patter on the video screens “broke down”, and we had just white noise as we entered Catastrophe Canyon. This was pretty much unchanged, but upon leaving that we came upon a scene from (Adam told me) Dinotopia. If you have watched the video by now you will know that a scene was played out here with a large devil type bloke and his minions.
As they stole the young girl from the carriage it did take a few moments to realise the boyfriend was in on it. His subsequent “performance” as he himself then turned into a zombie was truly impressive, and he absolutely frightened to death the young girls sat behind Adam and I.
Next, at a London scene, more zombie types appear, only to be chased off by chaps in welder masks at the last moment, who then in turn, also reveal themselves to be “not of this world”.
All in all the whole experience was pretty amazing, pretty hard to describe here, but suffice to say, it was easily impressive enough to put all thoughts of grumpiness about the queue out of our minds. Typical Disney!
Our next ride was Armageddon, which in effect was “closed down”. Instead we were invited to do a walking tour, which quickly turned into an attack from more deformed types, this time in the shape of aliens. Again, anyone showing the slightest sign of fear was targetted for “ghouling” and there was a lot of screaming and shrieking along the way. Again, really good fun.
To finish off the night we ended up in the odd position of doing a couple fo rides in the Toy Story section, on a night of horrors and Halloween. I think this is called a juxtaposition, which I always thought were an 80’s pop band!
First we rode the Slinky dog ride, which is a pretty simple merry-go-round type thing for young kids, but we jumped on nonetheless as it had no queue at all. We had no shame!
Image pinched from Google due to lack of phone battery
We then did the new parachute drop ride, which was surprisingly more intense than it looked, and a definite tummy tickler.
By now it was going on for 1am, and we were both, not to put too fine a point on it, cream crackered. What we really needed then was to have to sprint to jump on the final bus of the night to avoid a forty minute walk back to the hotel. So after a full-blooded Dad run, a red face, and asthma attack, the bus then sat there for ten minutes with us sat on it, heavy breathing.
We got off the bus and into bed within moments, and it took me seconds to fall asleep!
So my trip to DLRP is done, and so I thought it only right and proper to tell you all about it. This trip really was sponsored by the DisneyBrit Podcast. Go on click the link!
I’m going to break this report up into three sections, each representing a day of the trip, so this one is primarily about trains!
My day started at around 8am, and after some breakfast and a shower (not at the same time), I had time to play a little bit of Xbox. I hope you realise this is the sort of crucial detail I shall be including.
Louise dropped me off at Manchester Piccadilly train station, which was handy, as this was where I was due to catch my train to Euston. I picked up my tickets from one of those clever automated machines, without struggling in any way to figure out how it works, as I am dead technical and clever.
Good Evans!
With twenty minutes to kill I wandered into WH Smiths to find some stuff to occupy me over the next endless hours on a train. I quite fancied the new Chris Evans book, and via his twitter, had found out that it was on special offer. It was that special that WH SMith had none left.
I therefore switched my attention to the fiction section, and chose a James Patterson novel. I’ve read quite a few of his, and they are decent page turning stuff, without making you think too much. This is a pre-requisite for holiday/travel reading.
So with that, a bottle of water, a newspaper, some paracetamol (just in case) and a pad and pen (for trip report notes) it was an astonishing £16.
Upon boarding the train, some bloke was sat in my reserved seat, but with lots of available ones around I just took another one. The fact that he was slumped across the table, and looked like he needed a good wash were other contributory factors. However, shortly afterwards I was asked if I would mind moving to let Keira (the grand-daughter of the woman asking me to move) to sit next to her. So I moved to the seat opposite, and settled in for the peaceful journey to Euston.
Alas no. Keira’s grandma is one of those so full of pride in her offspring’s offspring that she “performs” all the way to Euston. You know the sort of thing. Everything the child says is repeated, but louder, and with a chuckle in the voice, and a look around to see who is watching.
So the whole carriage “enjoyed” Keira and her grandma looking through her Disney Princess magazine for two hours. What do you mean I sound like a grumpy old git? And???
So I tried my best to read my paper, and then my book, but couldn’t really concentrate over the noise of grandma reading stories out loud.
About an hour in thankfully she fell asleep….Keira, not the grandma, so I made the most of it and played some games on my phone. This was OK as the train had a source of power for it. As you will learn my phone has a battery life shorter than one half of the Krankies.
The train arrived at Euston exactly on time, and I decided to walk to St Pancras rather than catch the tube, as my google map showed me it was just down the road. It took about ten minutes, and I went to more of those automated ticket machine things to print off my tickets for the Eurostar. After a few minutes of entering stuff with no joy (a familiar tale) I started to wonder if I had the right reference numbers etc, so I called home, and asked Emily to take a look on my laptop.
I was in no way a bit short and panic-stricken, and after realising I did have the right numbers, I put the phone down and went in search of a human being to ask. There were none. So I wandered deeper into the station and came across an Information desk. I joined the queue, and whilst waiting, glanced up at the sign above the Information desk. The one that said Kings Cross Station Information.
Realising I was sort of in entirely the wrong train station, I made a quick exit and went next door to St Pancras. Seriously, who the hell had the bright idea of building two stations next door to each other!!
Once in the right place I was now close to missing the train, and after quickly printing my tickets, I heard the last call being made, and I hurried through to check in. It entailed all the pre trip rituals of a flight, such as ticket check, passport control and security checks. I had somehow not imagined all this would not be necessary! At security, I did some bleeping, and this resulted in some big bald bloke wanding me. There is a first time for everything, and it didn’t hurt at all!!
I arrived on the platform, and luckily the train was still there. I checked with the member of staff on the platform that I was in the right place, and I indeed I was. I also asked him where my carriage was. He says the one right in front of me…..is number 2 and I am in 18, so I’d better start jogging!! With a sweat on, I clambered aboard carriage 18 and found my seat just as the train pulled away.
France...obviously.
I was sat next to a French lady (what are the chances?), and had to disturb her to sit down, and then again moments later to get at my bag again to rescue my book, and my lunch. Having had no time to procure anything close to lunch, I had to rely on the emergency Sports Mixture, packed for me by Louise. At this point they were literally a life saver, and I polished them off quickly as I got into my book.
Shortly after boarding, as usual I discovered that I was sat near to a screaming child, and this one was going for it big time. To me, it sounded like a tired cry, and my mind raced back to the days of my girls being this age, and at this point I would have been stood up, rocking and gently patting her on the bum to get her to sleep. I offered this to the young mum, but she didn’t want me to pat her bum at all.
Honestly, a screaming child does not usually bother me at all (apart from in restaurants, when the parents don’t take them outside if they won’t stop crying). We have all been there at some point, and as a parent I have developed the ability to block out child noises!! However, a couple sat just in front of me were having none of it.
One of them stood up and announced to the whole carriage that he was not sitting next to THAT all the way, and was off to find another seat. He demanded his boyfriend followed him, and off they flounced out in a flurry of designer clothes, stubble and false tan.
Very quickly we were under water, and then out again, and I took it from the emergence from the tunnel, that we were now in France.
We arrived in Lille bang on time, and I had about half an hour to wait for the train to DLRP. I wandered about for a bit wishing I’d taken French and not German at school, as it may have helped me read a couple of signs. In the end I asked at the Information booth, and was relieved to at least be in the correct station this time. It turns out I needed the Perpignan train and it was due to leave in ten minutes.
I watched the board for the platform to be announced, and soon enough I am aboard. Despite a couple of announcements on the train about its destination, I was none the wiser. By the time they did the same announcements in English the train was already moving, I couldn’t make out what he said anyway, so I just crossed my fingers that I was on the right train, or I would be doing an impromptu tour of France.
Thankfully, I was on the right train, and at around 6.15, the train arrived at Marne la Vallee-Chessy. It is a good job I had looked this up beforehand, as you might expect the Disneyland train station to be bedecked with all sorts of Disney stuff, and have characters parading up and down the platform. It doesn’t, and it is only as you ride the escalator up to ground level that the hordes of folk in Disney hats assure you that you have indeed arrived.
Village People
Adam had let me know he had been delayed, and this meant I had even longer to wait until he turned up. So first of all I went for a wander around Disney Village. It was very un-Disney like to be honest. The music was generic pop stuff, and it felt really just like a shopping precinct, which happened to have a few Disney shops in it.
It was nice, don’t get me wrong, just not at all like Downtown Disney. This is a theme I need to avoid, as it is unfair to compare the two locations, as I really don’t think Paris is trying to be Orlando.
After a quick browse around the shops, I nipped into McDonalds and had Le Big Mac et Pomme frites. I found a table for one and tucked in. A French child approached me, asking (in perfect English) if she could have the prize sticker thing off of my drink. I agreed, realising that if she actually won anything, the resultant wrestling match would be quite embarrassing, and not at all conducive to Anglo-French relations.
At this point I decided to head for the hotel, and settle in for the wait.
The train station really is right next to the Disney Village, and in turn the buses to the hotels are there too. The bus was waiting there as I arrived and I jumped on as it set off on the loop of non Disney hotels. Adam had let me know by text that we were staying at the Dream Castle, rather than the Magic Circus as first thought, so I got off at the right stop and wandered in.
The hotel is themed in a medieval style, and is decorated for Halloween as you might expect. I couldn’t check in until Adam got there, frankly as he was paying, so I made my way to the bar, bought a Stella (and the glass for that price I presume) and settled in with my book in a corner. The corner position was required, as I happened to have found a power supply behind a curtain, which means I could plug my phone in again! It had run all by itself for about two hours and so was now quite tired!!
So after lots of reading, I made my way to reception, and sat there for a while. I got updates from Adam about his hellish journey. His delayed plane meant that he had missed his train, and was now having to use the Metro (is that what it is called? I am so metropolitan, pardon the pun), and he expected to arrive sometime on Tuesday!
After a while I went back to the bar, had another beer, and a sandwich (I always eat when bored), and finished my book! It was now coming up to midnight, and I was so tired that I was tempted to go to reception and see if they had a spare room and just book it myself.
Anyway, being tight, means that I sat and waited instead, and finally Adam arrived around 12.45am. I shook his hand, bleary eyed, and we quickly checked in and went up to the room. I can honestly say I have never gone to bed with anyone so quickly after first meeting them!
We had a quick chat for half an hour or so and then realised it was bloody late, and we went to sleep.
Tomorrow, (and the next blog) some actual stuff that may be interesting, rather than trains and waiting.
I thought I had to do a special midweek post to mark a landmark event.
Anyone who knows me will realise that my life is a constant stream of injustice, bad luck and persecution. What do you mean I am a drama queen? What do you mean I have a lovely family, habitable house, enough money to service my debts, and enough food in the fridge. Don’t spoil my sense of self-pity please.
Well, it seems the tide has turned as I have actually won something.
I got a phone call late last night informing me that my entry into the DisneyBrit podcast competition was the winning entry. The competition celebrates their 50th podcast. I had to say in less than fifty words why I should go, and it seems my promise of a brown envelope stuffed with cash did the trick. I jest. I actually sent in an entry outlining the benefits of taking me along as my Halloween candy eating exploits will easily recoup any DisneyBrit expenditure. I can on board enough candy to maximise the return on the prize budget….or something like that.
I think Adam recorded the phone call for the podcast too, so you shall be able to hear my stunned gobsmackiness if you decide to listen to the next podcast, and you should. Luckily, I did not swear.
The prize alas is only for one person, unless you fork out for any other travellers, and with Louise officially recovering for the next twelve weeks, she will not be able to come along.
What about those bears!!
This leaves me in the rather odd situation of “bunking” (I said bunking!) with Adam, having never met him. This brings up images of the classic scene from Planes Trains and Automobiles, where Steve Martin and John Candy wake up in the same bed. “Those aren’t cushions!!!”.
I am assured we have suitably platonic sleeping arrangements in place.
So after breaking the news to Louise that I would be flying solo and some very quick research about Eurostar, I am all booked train wise. From Manchester to DLP for just over £100, including First Class on the way back from Euston to Manchester!!
Adam has given me a rough breakdown of the weekend, but I won’t go into it here, as I feel it my duty to encourage you to listen to the podcast after Halloween to find out what happened. I may of course do a mini trippie, because of course I don’t have enough on in that regard already!!
We are staying at the Magic Circus hotel, which looks splendid, but then most hotels that you stay in for free are!! The only other thing I shall tell you about is the advertised prize –
2 nights accommodation
2 day park hopper ticket
a ticket to Disney’s Terrorific Night at Walt Disney Studios on 30th October
food over the weekend
a few surprises
I’m not sure the “food over the weekend” element of this prize has been thought through to be honest. I hope the budget planning was suitable!!
So there we go. I am as you may have noticed a tad excited to be going to DLP for the first time, and with an expert such as Adam to show me around.
We’re back, jetlagged, already sick of work, and sneakily taking a look at options for our next holiday, but don’t tell anyone.
The Trip Report has started with Day One now up on The Dibb. There is a link to it on the Trip Reports Page.
This isn’t a proper post, as with work, trip reporting and being fed up, I don’t have time, but I just wanted to say hello to everyone now we are back in the UK.
I’ll probably do a blog post this weekend if I can, as I have some inner rage to expel on some theme park behaviours I encountered that made my (usually calm) blood boil.
See you then, and of course, till the next time…..
This isn’t helped in any way by our house going up for sale, so as well as having to prepare for the important stuff, such as our trip, but I’m also having to cosmetically enhance the house to fool some idiot into thinking we’ve done loads of work on it rather than hand over all our renovation budget to the board of Disney.
A house has gone on the market down the road which Louise tells me we like and, therefore we are to see if we can off load our current one to secure it.
As you might expect last week at work did not fly by, but somehow the weekend arrived, with a slight sense of foreboding as I had an inkling of the amount of stuff we had to get done.
The weekend started with the revelation that the cheap as chips suitcase we’ve been using for a decade will not survive another trip. Really, is nothing built to last these days?? Indignant at having to spend money after only ten short years of dragging our current case across the Atlantic, the first task of the weekend was to secure new luggage. We also had a very brief discussion about buying a new rucksack. Louise pointed out one that would be suitable, and I reacted like she had suggested I lopped off my left arm. Ryan is getting on and he needs some work but if that were the criteria for being replaced I would have been gone long ago.
A case of bad taste?
We left the girls at home getting ready to go out with their friends, (which worryingly takes forever these days…there will be trouble on holiday if I am denied early startiness) and Louise and I scoured at least two shops to find something suitable. There wasn’t a great deal of choice if I’m honest, but the main criteria being, it is cheap, and it is well proportioned (hey, that sounds like me), we soon settled on the flowery affair you can see in the picture.
Size wise it fits the bill as either of the girls could get in it, which in hindsight could have saved me the cost of one flight!!
For the second time in recent history I then ventured to the Trafford Centre on a Saturday, as Louise “had no clothes at all” for the holiday. I needed a couple of things too, and as I needed Louise along to let me know if I liked stuff, it was two birds with one stone.
About to be blown off....
As we got in the car to leave I spotted something on the roof the likes of which I have never seen before in this country. As the photo shows, it is half dung beetle, half fly, and after snapping a quick photo I was glad to get into the car, floor the accelerator and see it be blown off in my rearview mirror, and that isn’t something you see every day, unless you go looking for it on the internet.
First things first, we had lunch. Then we started the tour of every women’s clothing shop in there. The day was full of ups and downs, with lows as “nothing looks right”, and then moments of elation as a triumphant Louise emerges from a changing room, garments aloft, wielding here switch card like a samurai sword.
I got some new trainers. The whiteness of these new trainers you cannot begin to perceive. They come with several sets of dark glasses to be handed out to passers-by. They announce the fact that I have just purchased them like the brightest beacon on the darkest night. Did I mention that they are white?
I also got some brown sandals. Now, as I told the girls this on our return home, their faces reflected the horror that phrase could mean. However, trust me they look very suave and sophisticated. I like them because Louise said so, and she also said they are good as they hide most of my horrid feet from view.
Our return from shopping saw me go to the gym and the supermarket as is becoming my Saturday routine, and Louise, not yet fed up with retail establishments ventured out again to the Middlebrook retail park, next to the Reebok stadium, even though a match was in full flow. She has no fear, having braved the Trafford Centre, she now struck out solo to face the traffic chaos that is the end of a match at the Reebok.
She returned with that holiday essential, a new phone! Yes, that’s right, with mere hours to go until departure, she felt the need to replace our perfectly good phone. I didn’t really pursue that for personal safety reasons, and she did seem to have bought enough clothes for the entire Magic Kingdom crowd, so I’m guessing she’s sorted now.
Bum Steer
Now, a word of warning. If you, like us, enjoy settling down as a family to watch a film, then don’t whatever you do, do so with one called “I Love You Phillip Morris”.
We are big Jim Carrey fans, so we were looking forward to watching this one, and the 15 certificate told us it was fairly sure to be OK for the girls, with perhaps a little swearing, which is nothing they won’t have heard anytime that I’m doing DIY.
I won’t go into details here, but the “bottom” line is that the girls quickly made their excuses and averted their eyes in a few “love scenes” as I quickly scrabbled around trying to find the fast forward button.
Don’t get me wrong, the film is very good, just not a family one!
Then, the day of rest dawned. Louise had been up for a while, making lists! I knew immediately I was in trouble. So today I have –
Hung a picture (minimum swearing)
Mowed the lawn
Cleaned the kitchen
Dropped the girls off somewhere
Popped in to see my Mum
Resealed the bath
Hung a mirror (maximum swearing)
Made tea (putting that pizza in the oven was a tough one).
Louise was last seen in our bedroom somewhere under a pile of clothes. I think I got the better deal to be honest. Rebecca has just done the “try on” of stuff in her drawers and selected the garments that will make the Atlantic crossing, and Emily is now upstairs doing the same. I suspect they will both return with more than they left with!
So we move into the last few days, and for once I am having to work right up until the day we go, as having just started at the new place, I have very few holidays to take. So Louise is off Wednesday and Thursday to get stuff ready, and I shall appear on Thursday evening just in time to sit on the case, zip it up, and then unzip it again on Friday morning to force all the last-minute hair apparatus in. I suppose I could leave my GHDs behind??
Emily’s idea of getting ready for holiday is to try on three T-shirts and then ask which take away we are having on Thursday evening. For the record she wants a curry.
As I type I can hear a conversation upstairs centring around knickers, and thankfully the verdict is she has enough. This is good news as this morning Louise took Henry to the vets. The amount of money exchanged there was on a par with the holiday budget, so if we haven’t got something now we’re doing without. Henry is fine by the way, apart from an infected ear, and issues around his anal glands.
Apparently, after a quick root around up there, and the appearance of some cottage cheese like substance from his glands, Louise almost lost her breakfast, and don’t forget Louise has worked in Operating theatres, and sees old lady boobs all day every day.
He seems much happier in himself now, and when Louise came home and described the procedures done by the vet, I sort of understood the amount of cash charged.
Anyway, he’s ready for his holidays in Yorkshire now, but the instructions for the giving of medication is longer than this here post, so the best of luck to Steve and Di, his carers whilst we are pet free.
So come on Friday, hurry yourself along. I only hope the trip is a magical one, and gives a good return for the sheer amount of hours that have gone into it’s making. For the record here are some of the milestones I am looking forward to –
The airport
Arriving at the villa
The first “big shop” at the supermarket (cake, beer, crisps with perhaps some fruit)
The walk up Main Street on our first morning
Food, all of it.
Hard Rock Hotel
Harry Potter stuff
Daytona
The Beach Club
and I even don’t really mind turning forty!
I will say goodbye for now, as I doubt I will blog whilst overseas. I may manage the odd tweet/facebook as the girls will have their laptops with them, and I shall see you all back here in early September for more tales of household chores, shopping and my dog’s backside. How could you resist?
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