Full House

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

It’s been an odd time of late. I feel like I’ve been in a bit of a funk for a while without really knowing why. I suppose we’ve been through an unusually high number of changes and challenges as a family recently which may be the root cause. For all the crap I do share here, anything that’s really personal, I tend not to. That rule was made even stricter by the incredible trolling, vitriol and in some cases the very real and personal threats messaged to us after Emily’s first go at working for Disney was cut short. If you think I’ve been radio silent about that whole experience since, you now know why.

Anyway, much water has passed and if I’m to continue to bother blogging at all (and at times it’s been a close call) then I should return to sharing as I used to or what’s the point? This thing started as a personal diary anyway, so if I don’t document what’s going on then when I read it back it will be worth little.

I digress. I suppose the largest reason for this feeling of funk may be the all too familiar empty nest syndrome. You may recall that as we returned from holiday last September we did so to find two empty bedrooms where the two largest parts of our lives used to be. For anyone, that can take some getting used to. It had been coming a while, but as we left one daughter in America and waved another off to her new home with her boyfriend we just sort of got on with life. Don’t get me wrong, in some ways it was great, peaceful, less stressful and definitely cheaper, but after giving so much of our time, hearts, wages and attention to two other human beings, not having them around was an adjustment and a half.

It’s as clichéd as the mid-life crisis to document the ins and outs of that empty nest experience so I wont.  Some ten months on from that return from holiday and as inevitably as my waistline increasing year by year, things have changed once again. In that time we’ve experienced a couple of things with the girls that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but life doesn’t let you choose and after these events knock a bit more stuffing out of you, all you can do is dust yourself down and attempt another run at stuff. Personally, I’d say those two things have been the toughest things I’ve (as yet) had to deal with but that’s my job I suppose. Pardon the lack of detail. If you knew those details you would understand.

Anyway, to avoid this whole post being one big digression, I can now report that we find ourselves with a full house once again, because as of a few weeks ago, Rebecca returned home to complete the set after she and her boyfriend decided that this house renting lark was all too expensive and was severely restricting their fun and shopping activities. So we are not only back up to the full complement of Williams’s, we have an extra one for luck in the shape of Tom, Rebecca’s boyfriend, living here too. So much for that empty nest.

As much as the battle for the bathroom is real, it’s no real hardship having the house full again. Ultimately, if they are both happy, healthy and settled then despite all of our huge parenting mistakes, dropped balls and abandoned good intentions over the years, it’s all we can hope and aspire to. It doesn’t stop me fretting, faffing and fiddling in and around their lives and I don’t suppose I ever will. It also doesn’t stop us having those head in hands moments at some of their decisions, choices and cock ups but as adults now, those are theirs to make. My priceless advice to the girls is normally greeted with the same attention as a party political broadcast. I give it anyway as it will at least allow me the odd “I Told You So” somewhere down the line.

On the subject of advice, I can often be found boring any new parent to death about two things –

  1. As your kids get older, the problems and stress don’t decrease, they just change into different problems and stress.
  2. There is no ideal age to take your children to Disney World. Only worry when you can’t take them, and at any time you can, you should.

These new parents don’t even have to ask for that advice. I force it upon them, àpropos of nothing, uninvited with great gusto.

At least now with everyone back at Casa Williams, there may well be content worthy of some blogging which will save you all from my weekly moans about all sorts of oblique nonsense that nobody cares about.

So to bring everyone totally up to speed with happenings in the World of Williams, Louise has a new job, working in operating theatres at a local hospital and has now been a qualified nurse for over a year, Rebecca, as well as being back at home is doing really well in her apprenticeship at a local nursery and Emily has a full-time job too and is actually lucky enough to work with me now, learning lots, mainly about how absolutely shite my commute has been all these years.

I continue to work for far too many days a week, whilst not having sufficient time to research holidays, play bass in my band or write that second book which still sits there taunting me with its incompleteness.

So to end this post, with some appropriate Father’s Day advice, if you are one of my younger readers, do yourself a favour and listen to your Dad (and Mum) every now and again. We’re not always right but the percentages are high and whilst you’re at it, clean your rooms, run the Hoover around without being asked every now and again and take less time in the shower.

Till the next time……

The Top Three Things I Hate About Blogging – You Won’t Believe Number 3!!

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

Did you click that link to find out what number 3 is? I don’t hate blogging of course. Imagine someone using a blog post title to encourage clicks. These days it seems that everyone has a blog. Most seem to have one or two posts on them from 2011  before they realise that it’s actually quite difficult to think of something to write on a regular basis.

It is only my compulsive, task driven, incompletion averse personality that compels me to write this thing every week. I don’t really consider myself a normal blogger, mainly as I don’t have a theme. I’m definitely not a Disney blogger although many of my posts talk about it. A Disney blogger, to me, is someone who has the patience and time to find out everything that is going on in that world and write informative, fact based posts that help others keep up.

I don’t have the time or inclination to do that to be honest and so my Disney content is only personal to me and what is relevant to my next trip. I could never keep up to date with everything going on and I’d never be able to publish that before the four trillion other Disney bloggers do. Most of my posts are just me moaning about the twists and turns of my average, middle class, middle of the road life with hopefully enough humility and bits of humour to keep them readable.

Anyway, I do have a few pet peeves about blogs in general, so let’s see if I can get to three…

  1. Click bait titles – If you see one, (like the one I used) then click it with the knowledge that it’s being used for a reason. Every blogger wants views. Although I don’t blog to get a certain number of views I am pleased when a post I write gets more than usual. Everyone likes that sort of pat on the back. I don’t monetise my blog with ads (if you see any, they are placed by WordPress and I don’t see a penny), but for those who do, then these types of teaser titles are mainly looking to drive numbers up and page impressions mean ad views which ultimately means more cash.
  2. Quitters – Blog or do not, there is no try. I understand this is due to my Type A personality, but if you’re going to announce to the world that you’re going to be blogging and sharing your wisdom and wit, don’t pack it in after the traditional “Hello World!” post.
  3. Over promoters – Look, I blogged, read it, like it, share it. Everyone does different stuff to attract readers to their blog but there is a limit and if I see the same post tweeted out forty-seven times a day, I tend not to read it on principle.

I’m a moaning git aren’t I? Of course these days, blogging is a bit last decade and the big thing is vlogging. The rise of the YouTuber (along with smartphones, tablets and smart TVs) will continue to revolutionise how we watch content over the next few decades. We’re already seeing big time YouTubers crossing over now on to mainstream broadcast media and in the Disney community there are thousands of them. The Trackers are the only ones I watch semi-regularly as they produce enjoyable, interesting and engaging content presented nicely.

Vlogging is not for me. I don’t have the personality or delivery to carry that off so I salute those who do it well. For me, beyond being engaging on-screen and knowing how to deliver to camera well, the real skill with vlogging is editing. If I can get through someone’s vlog without wanting to fast forward huge chunks of it I’m pretty likely to watch future videos.

On the flip side, some more traditional celebs have taken to YouTube to engage with their fans and they are becoming almost as well-known for that as they are for their original career. Tom Fletcher falls into that category and he and his extended family have always seemed very switched on to potential of social media.

I’m not an expert blogger by any means. I probably make loads of mistakes on a regular basis, but for me it’s not that important as I don’t make money from it, I don’t live or die by how many people read this guff and you, dear reader, tend to be very loyal and forgiving of some of the crap I churn out. For me, it started out as an experiment to better understand blogs (which back in 2009 were still fairly new) and a bit of a diary to track what happens as life flashes by at a million miles an hour. I do dip into the archives every now again to read in great detail what I was whinging about in 2011.

If you’ve thought about doing a blog, maybe started one and stopped, I would encourage you to give it a go. For me, and in my very own personal worthless opinion, you have to write for yourself first about stuff you care about or are just thinking about at the time and see if anyone else likes it too. I am sure over the years I’ve purposefully written stuff I know would appeal but I suspect that’s a symptom of having to think of a post every week! If any of you do blog, or are going to, send me a link and I’ll happily share it out here in a future post which may send my reader your way!

Till the next time……

Driven to Despair

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

It’s been one of those odd weeks where I’ve been very busy but now as I sit down to write about it, there’s not a lot I can tell you! That isn’t, as you may have spotted, an auspicious start to any blog post.

Having been stung by over sharing historically I tend to share less of our weekly goings on here these days, not that anyone would be enthralled by news of my ten miserable commutes to and from Manchester anyway, but you never know who reads this stuff and so the content tends to be a little different these days.

The one outstanding event of the week came on Friday afternoon, and I use the word outstanding to mean that it stood out from the rest of the week, not necessarily that is was good. Having been a blatant criminal recently and driven at 47mph in a 40mph zone, which was I should say a three lane dual carriageway, recently changed from a  50mph zone, I found myself with a lovely letter from Greater Manchester Police.

I had three choices –

  1. Three points and fine
  2. A speed awareness course and a fine
  3. Go to court and fight my case based upon the mitigating circumstances above and the fact that I was driving to work and I couldn’t see the signs through my tears.

Sensibly and predictably I took option 2 and Friday was the day. Very quickly, I was debating with myself if three points really would have been such a bad thing. Firstly the weather was tremendous and having sacrificed half a day’s holiday there were better uses of it I’m sure. Secondly, the clock in the room was faulty. How else can it be explained that the scheduled four hours took nine and a half days to pass?

Thirdly, the entire content of the course could have been summarised into about ten minutes of “driving fast isn’t a good thing so don’t” and then had us read the relevant bits of The Highway Code again. I am not of course stupid enough to think that me going over the speed limit is a good thing and generally I am a safe and conservative driver. Again, it was a THREE LANE dual carriageway (as denoted by the central barrier…they told me that on the course, but I knew anyway!) that had been 50mph since time began, but the tortuous pace at which the course was delivered was only made worse by the other participants reciting back key phrases to the instructors like some motor based group of Moonies.

Sitting through four hours of –

“Do we think that an extra five miles an hour can make a difference if we hit someone?”

Then to endure a few more minutes of folks agreeing that yes it can…”cos you’re like, going faster, and it will hurt more like and that’s bad” soon became old…..after about twelve minutes.

“Now, as a group, discuss the things that make you drive over the limit”.

Dear God, I’d rather burn my car right here in the car park and walk to work. It would be quicker anyway.

The last ten minutes of the course were tortuous. I gazed out of the window at those lucky enough to be driving past (over the speed limit no doubt) whilst the clock I was watching went backwards. I suppose the deterrent is that I NEVER want to have to sit through one of those courses again…ever…in my lifetime or the next.

I’m sure I benefited in some way and for the next few days/weeks/months I’ll no doubt think more whilst I’m driving. It’s hard to concentrate though when you have a tweet to finish and your sandwich is falling apart in your lap.

So kids, the message is, don’t drive faster than you should. It’s a bad thing. Mainly as you lose four hours of your life and have to sit next to Cockney Ian who doesn’t have an inside voice or any sense of personal space who wants to tell the whole group about how he got caught speeding despite the fact that his ten minute story is expanding the length of the course and shortening his potential life span as I contemplate implanting my free pen into his neck.

Oh and if a road has street lights on it, it’s a 30mph speed limit. So you now know everything I learned!

Till the next time…..

 

Being poorly and purile

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

I have to admit to not feeling my best today. It can’t be the usual Sunday malaise brought on by impending work and some shite period drama on telly, as work is not on the horizon until Tuesday, so I must be ill for realz. I can’t put my finger on what it is, other than feeling less than great, a bit tired, sluggish and under the weather. I should have been a doctor you know!

As my Mum would diagnose every illness known to man in my childhood as “being tired” it may be that, as life is hectic and busy on all fronts. Work, family, band, holiday planning and putting weight on all take up a lot of time these days, along with having to commit many minutes to writing this codswallop every week, so perhaps I just need some R&R. It is such a pity then that this bloody holiday is still 290 days away.

The real problem is probably that I have now been working for a living for 29 years. I did those maths the other day and it shocked and saddened me. Who had the crazy idea that so much of your time on the planet should be spent this way? I mean, five days a week? Really? Every week? Seems a tad harsh. I know and understand that others work much harder than I do. Some may scoff at my five-day working week, tucked up in a nice warm office, sat on my arse pushing buttons, but, as I always say, the fact that someone has it worse than me doesn’t diminish my right to piss and moan.

This is bordering on classic mid-life crisis territory I know, but if you step back from it for a second, it seems crazy, or is it just me? I don’t hate my job and the company I work for are great, but I’d just rather be doing other things.

Anyway, on a brighter note, Louise changed her car this week and she is very happy. She has been driving a bit of a heap for a while and so a change was overdue. Since picking it up on Friday I’ve seen her for about seven minutes as she is constantly finding reasons to go out and get stuff that involve driving her car. She also starts her new job after the bank holiday. I’m not 100% sure what it involves other than it’s working in an operating theatre whilst folk have unmentionable procedures done to them. The fact that she’s excited at the prospect should perhaps be a concern. That also no doubt also falls into the category of jobs that are tougher than mine!

She’s out now getting some “bits” for tea, as we have parents coming. Getting “bits” usually involves spending more than we just did on her car! I am sat writing this blog post whilst watching the Radio 1 Big Weekend thing. Currently it is featuring some young man with a cap on backwards bobbing up and down behind his laptop, whilst it plays songs he’s “written” using 90% of other people’s songs.  It offends me.

With apologies for the brevity and random moaning, I’ll leave you now so that I can tend to my illness, whatever it may be so that I may be fit enough to go to work on Tuesday. There’s something fundamentally not right with that it seems.

Till the next time……

Feel The Burn

by mkingdon, posted in Walt Disney World

I don’t really have much of an ego. In fact I tend to spend most of my life admitting to how crap I am at stuff, but should there be one horn I would toot about my abilities in life, I think it would be a horn related to the researching, planning and booking of our American adventures.

This week I have been deep down the planning and research hole. I have been flexing my research muscles and powering through even when, at times, the going got tough. Feel the burn!!

As a result, this week has seen things become firm. Yes, I do get excited during the cut and thrust of some serious planning, but it is our itinerary which has become firm too during the last week and I am very pleased with how things are shaping up.

Of course, the plan as it stands now bears little resemblance to the stuff I’ve been on about here for the past few months, but such is the way of the shifting sands of trip planning.

Our (second) original intention (after abandoning Miami) was to land in Orlando and then drive over to Siesta Key for a week or so. Upon spending more time than even I wished to trying to secure some accommodation there it soon became apparent that Siesta Key is a bit odd. Firstly, they don’t really do hotels. Everything tends to be a condo or cottage type thing, which was no problem for us as staying in one room can be a bit of a tester once everyone spreads all their crap around the room ten minutes after arriving. The extra space appeals to us when it’s an extended stay of more than a few days.

The real problem was two fold.

  1. We seem to have picked spring break as the time of our visit.
  2. As this makes our desired week “in season” nearly every renter only offers Saturday to Saturday rentals which didn’t fit into our plans at all.

Now, spring break did strike a bit of fear into my heart. I imagined this sort of thing at every turn…

and that would be terrible, wouldn’t it!?

I even did some googling to find out how bad it might be and found mention of things such as bikini contests on the beach. Now that sounds OK, but I would need to invest in a new one before we go. Anyway, it turns out that Siesta Key isn’t a college kid mecca and having also chatted to an owner or two there, they confirmed that whilst a bit busier, we wouldn’t be battling hormone riddled, booze addled college kids. Just middle aged ones similar to ourselves.

With regards to the Saturday to Saturday thing, well, eventually I admitted defeat and changed our entire plan to fit in with that. It’s funny how quickly, with the help of the internet you can get into the detail of something when you need to. From that first google search of a destination, (which for me is typically a map of the area and a read of some trip reports and blogs of those who have gone before), you start to get a feel for the place. Then, with the help of some lovely blog readers who got in touch about Siesta Key, the peeling of the onion continues revealing more and more info as you go.

By the end of the research, which is typically when something is booked, you easily recognise street names and the buildings and feel like a resident, as you’ve spent so much time on street view on Google Maps. Just me? Ok……

So now, our plan is thus.

We will be going to Universal from the airport for four nights at the Royal Pacific Resort. We want to wallow in the Potter stuff having ran through it on our last visit (or so it felt) and be able to dip into the parks for a few hours as well as cocktailing by the pool.

Then we drive down to Siesta Key for a week in this lovely little thing.

siesta key 1

Then for the remainder of the trip we have booked into The Swan at WDW for some on site, without really being on site stuff, during which we’ll celebrate Louise’s birthday in the US for the first time.

A car has of course been reserved for the duration and all of this happened using some built in muscle memory action that launches into auto-pilot when required. It is enjoyable and some of the best (albeit expensive) medicine you can take. The happiness gained from this expensive planning drug is one of those unanswerable mysteries of life, like why does David Walliams pretend to be gay when he isn’t, and why do people find that funny?

Now, normally I am a “do it all yourself” type of planner. I have never used a travel agent as to be frank, with most of the high street ones, I feel like I know more than they do and I will definitely put more effort into getting me a better deal. However, this time I have been helped enormously by one, but to be fair, he is a Florida specialist. I’ve been Dibb and Facebook friends with Robert for ages and since he started to work at Ocean Florida he has from time to time tried to help and tempt me with great flight deals that he knew about.

I have always stayed strong (skint) and resisted but when I was looking around I thought I’d see if he could help at all. He was great. There was absolutely no hard sell or pressure and he even told me which bits I’d be better to book direct and which he would quote for. With that advice, both RPR and The Swan are reserved with no deposit. That’s at Booking.com if you are interested.

So I thought it only fair to give him a plug here and should you wish to receive similar help do get in touch. Oddly, as another person with the same name existed at Ocean, he has to use another name, so do ask for Thomas at www.ocean-holidays.co.uk or his Facebook link is above.

It’s always a bit gutting when all of this is sorted and all you have is a poorly credit card and a long wait ahead of you, but of course with a Florida holiday there are plenty of other things to be doing. Now, decisions around theme parks and dining need making for the Orlando days, and unusually for us, we can now also make plans for places such as Trader Sam’s and Jellyrolls for alcohol related activities with all of our party being over 21.

Our countdown has just dipped under 300 days, which seems like an eternity but again with many years experience of countdowns I know that sooner than we realise we’ll be at Manchester airport again paying too much for an average breakfast before putting all the weight I’ve just lost back on again in two weeks. It’s the Circle of Life.

Of course, via this blog, you can share my countdown in all its gruesome detail for which I apologise now.

Till the next time…..

Rip It Up and Start Again

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Forget everything I said. All those previous posts and considerable amounts of planning are all for naught. For a mere mortal such a monumental change might be too much but I have rolled with said punches admirably and adjusted quickly and seamlessly like the trip planning Jedi I aspire to be.

I spent most of last week down south due to work. It’s never great being away from home for days at a time but I used my evenings to good effect giving some thought to our holiday plans. As time has moved on, flights now are searchable and I was looking at many options in line with all the previous thinking which was (to recap) a flight into Miami or somewhere close, some time on the beach in that area, a drive up to the Vero area before ending the holiday at Universal and Disney.

I had a few different flight options on the go, some into Miami but others even including into Key West as a left field option. However, upon running said flights past Louise a veto was played, as those flights, on the outward leg were not direct. Louise can control her fear of flying to some extent, but the ordeal of landing and then taking off again is typically and understandably a step too far. So, this is how it came to pass that all the plans had to be re-evaluated.

The only direct option really was flying into as well as back out of Orlando. We were always going to fly home from there, but landing there meant that Miami was no longer really an option. We could have reversed the entire holiday I suppose and started in Orlando and made our way down to Miami, but we still had the same issue of either driving all the way back to Orlando to fly home or do an indrect from Miami.

So with all that in mind, and wanting to keep the basic structure of the trip the same, the plan now has changed to –

Fly into Orlando, looking like with Virgin on the 14th of March.

A week or so on the West Coast of Florida, somewhere we have never been to in all these years (other than a few days at Naples). My current preference is to stay in Siesta Key.

We could do Busch Gardens whilst over there.

Back to Universal for a healthy number of nights at the Hard Rock.

A few nights onsite somewhere around the Boardwalk for Jellyrolls etc.

Fly home from Orlando on the 30th of March.

My idea to stay in Siesta Key is driven by a couple of folks we know having done so in recent years and then being very complimentary about it and with a cursory bit of research the fact that it looks to be exactly what we are after. Lots of beach and sunshine in the day time with then a walkable night life with a good variety of restaurants, bars and shops to wander around of an evening, without of course the loud night club scene that we are way too old to tolerate!

Plus it looks like this….

I will also be able to take my new hobby of beach volleyball to a new level…did I not mention my long standing interest in this sport?

I know that St Pete’s and Clearwater are options too, and are a little bit closer to Orlando for that bleary eyed drive after landing, but, Siesta Key looks more suitable for our needs. Of course, again if anyone has experience of one or all of those places I would love to hear from you. I think the north of Siesta Key is the place to be, in and around Siesta Key Village, but do tell me if I am wrong!!

With that rough plan now built around fairly firm flights the search for accommodation begins. Siesta Key looks to be short of hotels as such and a cottage/townhouse may be the way to go. I haven’t done enough research yet to know for sure. Again, for those in the know, should you wish to point me at places please do.

So, like some sort of irresistible tractor beam Orlando has pulled us in once again. However, it will be a different type of trip for all sorts of reasons, dominated by more leisurely activities, with only a sprinkling of theme park elements. The force is strong in MCO!

Till the next time…..

Mkingdon+1

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

We are having a family gathering today to celebrate Rebecca’s 19th birthday and so with apologies, I don’t have time to have an original thought and come up with a decent blog. (Do I ever??) Some of you may of course point out that there is very little original thought in these things anyway….but still….

So like most TV channels do these days, with their +1 channels, showing the same stuff an hour later, I shall instead let you re-enjoy the content from last year for her 18th in the form of video…so it’s plus one year rather than an hour!

You should be out enjoying the sun anyway!

I shall make one small observation. For those of you with young children, wondering when the madness will end and you won’t be constantly exhausted, worried and a general basket case. Don’t hold your breath. As a small example of the different ways your older children may torment you, last night, well technically this morning, about an hour after going to bed my phone rang. I didn’t wake in time to answer, and so saw I had a missed call from Rebecca. Knowing she was out celebrating, we of course wondered why she had rung and if she was now in some ditch or en route to some drug den having been kidnapped.

Texts, calls and Facebook messages were unanswered and so Louise and I spent a lovely forty minutes or so in a mild state of panic. Of course, we then got an apologetic text telling us she had dialed me by mistake and all was well.

It took about another hour for the adrenaline to wear off and for us to get back to sleep. Sometimes, I yearn for changing nappies!

Till the next time…..

Pointing Towards My Incompetence

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

Welcome to May. How nice it is to look out of the window and see those lovely blue spring skies with temperatures well into the teens.  Wait…..what???

This weather MAY be crap

It is because we live in such a diabolical climate that we are such a testy and irritable bunch most of the time. Sitting with the heating on watching the rain pound against the window does nothing to lift the spirits after such a long and weary winter.

We live in a house that is fairly old and having stood for over a hundred years enduring a climate which typically includes about 300 wet days each year, it has of course developed its fair share of issues. These issues are the house’s way of expressing its own disgust at the shite weather it had the misfortune to be built in. It has younger cousins sat in lovely sunny temperatures in other parts of the world that post selfies on the internet to taunt our house.

Since we’ve been here, which is over three years now, our gable end (that technical term is the absolute extent of my building jargon) has had issues. We’ve had bouts of damp which is no surprise as this wall stands unprotected against the worst that Bolton’s weather can throw at it. I’ve been in denial for all of that time that it needed re-pointing. Most of that reticence has been down to the cost of what sounds like a horrendously expensive job of course, but some of it has also been down to the fact that I don’t really know what pointing is, beyond it being something I can’t do.

This is where my Dad steps in. Jobs like this roll off his back like the perpetual rain does off our leaky wall. It helps of course that all of his working life was spent in the building trade rather than sat at a desk poncing about on a  computer. It was only when he went into the office as estimator and then Director that he was afforded the luxury of working inside.

So whilst I have ponced about on my computer my Dad called a friend and arranged for some scaffolding to be put up. This is black magic in itself and I went to work one day with a bare wall and returned with a structure more complex than Spaceship Earth at Epcot attached to the end of my house. Over the next few days my Dad made his way up and down said scaffolding with whatever mixture you need in order to point something, making things better. My Dad doesn’t believe he is the age he is of course, so did not give this a second thought!

Once the pointing was done he then went on to spray the wall with some magical mixture that waterproofs it for the next couple of millenia. Suffice to say that our gable end now needn’t fear the weather or indeed nuclear holocaust within my lifetime. I have no idea what we would have done without my Dad’s intervention and expertise, other than employ some bloke to do it and sacrifice our entire disposable income for the next decade to do so.

So we’re grateful for the help and in return all I can offer is to continue to sort out his iPad every now and again. Slightly less manly but no less essential skills.

This lack of spring hasn’t stopped Louise going into full spring clean mode and I sit typing this surrounded by clutter from our various cupboards that I now have to sort through and place into a “bin it” pile and a “save it forever” pile. Somehow it seems that my Mum saved every single book for every single subject I ever did at school. Amongst them is a Life Story project from primary school which is looking a little worse for wear now, but includes gold such as this….

life story 1 life story 2 life story 3

Looking back at the quality of this, it is no wonder I went to have such a high-flying career and went on to write several best-selling novels…oh, wait…..never mind.

Till the next time…..

Expensive Eyes And Ageing Thighs

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

I’ve just been for an eye test and to sort out some new glasses. I haven’t done so for a good few years and being crap and old now it seemed I had a choice of getting new glasses or to have surgery on my arms to allow me to hold things far enough away from my failing eyes to be able to read it.

Knowing now what the costs of said new glasses are, as I need varifocals and all sorts of coatings and add ons I think it would have been cheaper to grow a new human and farm their healthy eyes instead. I did get a second pair for a heavily discounted price and chose to get some sunglasses in the hope that at some point in my life I will again be in some sunshine. My current pair have that thing where they turn dark in sunlight and I have hated it since the day I picked them up. I appreciate the UV protection but resent looking like half of Peters and Lee at the first sign of daylight.

This aging process is pretty much all rubbish. Not only is my eyesight like that of a 100-year-old bat, my metabolism is now so slow that last week I walked past a Labrador called Chocolate and put on four pounds. Also, why am I perpetually exhausted? I didn’t feel this tired with two kids under eighteen months to deal with and one of those didn’t sleep AT ALL until she was about twelve (Hi Rebecca!). These days if I have the audacity to be awake beyond midnight I spend the next day mainlining coffee and sugary goods to stay awake at the wheel.

I have long since been doing the audible rise. You don’t know what is? Well, if you are of a similar age to me you will. It’s when you get up and have to make a noise to do so. My body is supposed to last me at least another 30 odd years or so but with current trends I am not sure how it can.

Today of course sees thousands of folks running around London for a distance that I get tired driving. I wish you all well and do please post some more about it on social media. I think you are seriously underplaying it 🙂 I am in awe of your athleticism and dedication. I ran a bath recently and had to ingest three cans of Ralgex to get over it.

So with my new eyes on order I await the ability to see with baited breath. If you work in marketing at Vision Express might I suggest a rebrand? Two to three weeks isn’t what I would class as Express to be honest and I think there is only Carphone Warehouse who need a new name more than you do. With what I have just paid for my new glasses you can now fund a national TV and billboard campaign announcing your name change to Vision At A Leisurely Pace.

Of course at this point I should post the oft seen internet Meme which says something like…

I know that in another ten years or so, should I be blessed with still being around, I will look back on today and wonder how I moaned when I was so young/thin/athletic. I do that now on those days I referred to above when the kids were very small. At the time, I’m sure I felt like a zombie and that it would never end. I blinked and it did and now they are grown and I miss them being small.

In a week with yet more high-profile deaths, which, like most of the other notable passings this year were at an age far too young to be anywhere close to acceptable I should embrace my shoddy eyes, aching limbs and lack of energy and be grateful. Or at least see a doctor! Which reminds me, I’m at the dentist first thing tomorrow where I can give someone else lots of money to attempt to save my failing body from the ravages of time.

I should go for a nap, or a lie down in front of some crap TV now, but some fool has ordered some flat pack furniture which got delivered today. It now sits in the hall mocking me, daring me to attempt its erection. That’s a whole different story about getting old which I shall not cover here.

Till the next time….

My Weekend With A Hairy Ass.

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

After a very busy week at work, the weekend has been similar. There has been zero progress holiday wise, mainly due to the lack of flight availability as yet. The brain has been percolating possibilities in the background of course, but I have nothing further to report. I do object to working full-time when it restricts my ability to spend endless hours researching my holiday.

The busy week was made more taxing by the events of Thursday evening. For those with no interest in football and perhaps those who do but are not Liverpool fans, it may have passed you by. For me, as a life long fan, watching that roller coaster of a game through my fingers and at times tears of despair left me emotionally spent, yet happy after one of the most dramatic and spectacular comebacks ever seen. Sure, I may be over egging that, but grant me that as we’ve had little else to celebrate for a while.

Straight after work on Friday I was off to the latest Mustard gig at a local pub where we play very regularly. After getting home at around 12.45am, I slept for a few minutes before getting up to get ready for our trip over to North Yorkshire to see our friends Steve and Di, who live in Sinderby near Thirsk.

It was bloody cold, and at times wet, but we managed to dodge the showers during the times we were not eating to give Oli a decent walk in the country side.

Oli car April 2016

He got nice and muddy and worried a sheep or two before we stopped off to donate some Polos to a couple of donkeys.

donkey april 2016

The visit to Steve and Di’s, as they usually tend to, included a lot of chat about holidays and Florida (as well as lovely food and alcohol) as Steve and Di are long time DVC members and very experienced travelers. As much as I thought I had our plan sorted, at least in my mind, our conversations have now raised a trip to The Keys as a contender.  I do feel that our previous half day excursion to Key West didn’t really do it justice so I may need to ponder on that one a little more.

It didn’t help that the day we went saw temperatures only usually involved in the frying of chips. Patience and tempers were tested and we soon retreated to the welcome air con of the car and drive back north to our hotel for shade, swimming and drinks. Yes, clearly going to Key West in August is likely to be on the warm side. Even a planning genius can make the odd schoolboy error. As Louise often reminds me, and she did again this weekend, I was the one who booked us into the Sun Viking Lodge in Daytona a few years ago. I won’t bore you with the story again, I’ll just say, if you are thinking of staying there, don’t!

Having got home very recently, the relaxing pants are now on, and I intend to do lots of nothing for what remains of the weekend before another busy week to come. The fact that we have returned home with most of the Coffee and Walnut cake we couldn’t eat last night means that the outlook for this evening is a good one.

So that’s your lot, I’m knackered and in need of nothingness.

Till the next time…..

The Votes Are In…..

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

I’m so grateful for your responses to last week’s post. I had so much great advice from many folks who are clearly more expert (obsessed) with US travel than I. Via every medium available on the internet I had replies and help, so thank you for giving a toss about my trivial travel plans.

As far as the voting goes the results were as follows.

poll

I didn’t know what to expect, but I suppose I was slightly surprised to see California come out on top, or perhaps more specifically, Orlando not to.

Beyond the voting I got some very detailed, well thought through advice with one very kind soul even sending me their planning spreadsheet for their California trip in 2014. Thank you Sue! It is very nice to know, as I suspected, that many others are sad enough to have their holidays in such detailed Excel formats!!

Beyond the US there were great suggestions for destinations such as Dubai, Mexico, Jamaica, Antigua, Barbados, Tokyo and Thailand along with many suggestions of a cruise.

So what did we decide to do? Well, I have to say that Louise and I were leaning towards California and the results of the poll and the comments I got were encouraging us in that direction. However, with a little bit of research following up on some cautionary advice from those who have been before, it had to be discounted for the simple reason that in February, or even March, the temperatures are too low. Looking at various weather sites it would seem that we’d be lucky to see anything in the 70’s most days and for us a holiday can’t involve fleeces and long trousers during the day!!

However, at some point very soon in our holiday future, we WILL do California. Your feedback has confirmed that we must.

As far as cruising goes, that is a bit of a non-starter. Louise is very strange and along with her irrational fear of flying she also has a bit of a thing about the sea and boats…no matter how big they may be.

So we were then looking at either one of the other destinations listed above or a return to the familiar embrace of Florida. As much as Louise likes a beach and a sunbathe, even she had to admit that a whole holiday of that may not be for us after all these years of “doing stuff” for most of the holiday, So, with absolute predictability, that is how our journey back to Florida has come about. We have decided to push our dates back to March, as we got advice (thanks Di) about Florida in February being on the chilly side and so seeing that March seems to be in the mid 80’s most days, that is much more acceptable. Those extra few weeks before we go will be tortuous, but one thing I have learned about countdowns is that they always eventually end!

So, with that decided, I then moved on to making some rough plans. With warm weather back in play, the beach came back in to focus and so with startling speed, a day by day plan formed in my mind. I was actually quite shocked at how quickly and easily this came to me. A sign of where all my thoughts, time and money has gone for many years.

With flights not yet available for next March, nothing can be booked as yet (booking flights first is the law) but this has not stopped me from looking at lots of hotels around our pencilled in locations. So far, we’re looking at something like –

Flights into Miami

Four nights in Miami/Fort Lauderdale

A two hour drive up to Vero Beach (either at the Disney resort itself or another hotel in the area) for three nights there.

Over to Orlando for four nights on site at Universal

Four of five nights on site at Disney, ideally around the Boardwalk area, or if budget dictates somewhere like Old Key West.

Flight home from Orlando

See, easy this isn’t it? I believe flights should be available from around the end of April to mid May for our travel dates (current thinking is mid March departure) so until then I am coiled like an oily spring, consumed with pent-up planning tension waiting for the sweet release of hitting the book button. Such is the life of an obsessive such as me and you, judging by your responses last week!

Thanks again for all your help. I was delighted and surprised by your interest and generosity. If anyone has any recommendations for hotels in and around Miami or indeed the Vero area, should we not go the Disney route, then please do let me know. Should anyone have DVC points sitting on a shelf they may not need then again we may well be interested in those too.

Till the next time…..

 

Ask The Bill Payer’s Permission….

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

I’ve been blogging now, pretty much every week since 2009. Over that time I have covered every single topic available along with most of the emotions known to mankind. The content has been diverse (which is a polite word for “all over the place”) and I have ranted, gushed, moaned, bragged and been heartbroken at different times, sometimes all in the same post. However, today sees a first. I am to use a button that I have not yet pressed in all of these blogging years.

But first, some background. A few weeks ago I blogged about the annual event of us craving a holiday once winter starts to fade. We had house stuff to do as well and so the decision was not made. In recent days a top line plan has emerged that will see us to do both. Louise said that we both agreed that the house stuff is to come first which means that our holiday plans have been pushed back a little into early 2017 and it is looking like February. This is one of the joys of not holidaying with school age kids which goes some way to compensate for the fact that they’ve grown up now.

Now, at that time of year few places on the planet will deliver the skin scorching temperatures required by Louise if she is to sunbathe for 23 hours of each day. With the entire globe at our disposal I have exhausted all relevant possibilities and am now considering two locations….America and the USA.

With those lower temperatures in mind, our original plan of a more beach based trip seem to be foiled or foolish. I know for normal human beings the mid 70s would be fine for a day at the beach, but Louise needs skin melting rays to feel the day has not been wasted. This rules out (I think) the Miami/Naples/Keys type of trip that I had in mind last time I blogged about this stuff.

So here is where I need help (some may say I have needed help for some time). In my mind, (and lets face it, that’s all that matters. Louise is picking the stuff for the house so it’s only right I choose the holiday!) I…or rather we, are looking at three options, which are…

The usual Orlando based holiday.

However it will be anything but the usual as it is very unlikely that Rebecca (and Tom) will be with us. Emily will travel with us I think. I’m not sure we (I) want to do a fully Disney based holiday this time. I suspect there will be Disney stuff involved, but not the daily focus we’ve had in the past. Strangely though, having said that, I quite fancy staying on site for a chunk of the trip. We do want to spend an extended number of days on site at Universal too. We don’t feel that we’ve done the Potter stuff enough and we love staying at the Hard Rock. So in summary, option 1 is an on site Disney resort (I’m thinking Old Key West) followed by four nights at the HRH.

California

We have threatened to do this for years, but have always drifted back to Florida. We *will* do it at some point. We always say that just after booking for Florida again. I suspect the reason for that is familiarity and ease. We know Florida so well that the level of planning and preparation is much reduced and we can just turn up and engage auto-pilot, feeling like we have returned home.

There would need to be a high level of research and prep to undertake a Californian Adventure as (I think ) such a trip is much more sprawling. There is also the small matter of the very long flight, which for a very frightened flyer in Louise, is its own challenge. Once there, I also think it involves a lot more travel as the things we think we want to do are a long way apart. Having said that, my knowledge of the place is so rubbish that I only have a handful of things in my head that I think we’d want to do. Those are Disney at Anaheim, maybe Vegas, Alcatraz, a beach (see, I don’t know what the temperatures are in California in February), Six Flags and the curly steep road in San Francisco.

Somewhere Else Other Than The US

I have nothing to add here.

So here is where I need your help and this is the new thing I waffled about at the beginning. I have attempted to use the poll feature, so please cast your vote below, ask the bill payer’s permission, and do not vote if you are watching on catch up etc etc etc.

I reserve the right to completely ignore the results of the poll but I am genuinely interested in your thoughts of you all. Most of you are seasoned US travelers and probably know more than I about Orlando and definitely California.

 

Till the next time…..

E is for Vacuous Drivel

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

One of life’s biggest disappointments is that moment when you sit down with your evening meal, after a long day at work, hoping to find something entertaining on the TV to help you untwist your mind from the troubles of the day and every channel you turn to has adverts on (or The One Show, which is worse).

I have often wondered why all the commercial TV companies choose to air commercials at the same time as each other. Surely if you staggered the adverts to show at times other than quarter past and half past the hour you would snaffle all the viewers cursing as they channel hop to see anything other than the fat Go Compare bloke.

One day last week at such a time, discovering that the episode of The Big Bang Theory on E4 was one we had seen more than thirty times it was decided watching that was not an option. So a channel surf commenced, and with Louise driving we ended up on a channel called E!. At that time of night it seems the programme being aired was a “news” programme. The presenters seemed to be some sort of on air warning of the perils of eating disorders and one insufferable over the top English woman commenting on a “big story” about Prince William going to a wedding without Kate. She must live with them as the knowledge she had about their personal opinions and feelings was truly impressive. Surely her only real qualification wasn’t that she had an over exaggerated English accent.

Eat something!

I watched slack-jawed as about an hour of TV time was filled with gold such as this. They also seemed to specialise in another thing which really ticks me off. Why, oh why, oh why, do TV programmes feel the need to spend half of the programme telling what is “still to come” and then after the ad break before which they told you what was “still to come” they then re-cap what happened earlier.

STOP DOING IT! I’ve seen what was already on, it was only a few minutes ago and I don’t have a lobotomy. I don’t want to see what is “coming up” until you actually get to it. This TV equivalent of click bait drives me potty. The royal “story” I mentioned was trailed for half the show with something along the lines of “William is spending Easter with an old flame whilst Kate stays at home”. When we finally got to the story itself, of course William was going to South Africa to attend the wedding of a couple they both know and he was going alone as the flight was too long for the kids. Sigh.

Anyway, the climax to the whole show was an exclusive interview with some Kardashians. I’m not sure which two it was but they were female, although recently that is a little confusing too. Having been built up as something equal to an audience with the Pope the conversation centred around selfie techniques, what they had on and, the BIG EXCLUSIVE, one of them had, only that day, wait for it…….opened a Snap Chat account.

Frankly, I couldn’t cope with news this big and I spat my tea all over my lap. How had this news escaped me all day?

I can’t stand this mob. Any mother who can launch the “career” of their daughter with an orchestrated and well publicised sex tape needs burning at the stake. What an abhorrent excuse for a mother. Their need for air time is greater than their need for oxygen, which may explain their high-pitched whiny voices and vacuous nature.

These rank lower than the failed talent show folks desperately pedaling their wares in panto for eternity, as at least they have a small amount of actual talent for which they can be recognised. I would love to know what these Kardashian types put on application forms under occupation. I don’t think huge arsed media whore is a recognised profession by the Job Centre.

This rant, it could be claimed, is sour grapes. Absolutely. They have all the money I want and I am equally talented, although granted, not as easy on the eye. Mind you, should I undergo the same amount of cosmetic surgery I too could look like one of them….most likely their step Dad!

What is more worrying is the high esteem they appear to be held in by large numbers of young women. I really hope these are not the best role models we can muster for the young women of the world.

My opinion counts for naught of course, so I shall leave you with the best proof I can come up with that these idiots are a blot on the cultural landscape. One of them is married to Kanye West!

Till the next time……

Uncommon Common Sense

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

The biggest surprise of your week maybe the fact that we do not now have a fully booked US-based itinerary in the bag. We are for once demonstrating very un-Williams like common sense and taking our time over the decision.

There are a few things happening in the world of Williams that we need to see played out before we take the plunge so right now, I’m not sure what will happen. It didn’t stop me spending a good chunk of time last Sunday doing lots of looking around at options. The trouble with doing that is that the options then multiply, like some temptation filled amoeba, doubling on themselves at every click of the mouse.

Looking at places that are not so familiar to you has its challenges, such as needing to rely on Google maps and Trip Advisor to see if it is somewhere worthy of our hard-earned pounds. Every hotel on the planet has a number of reviews on Trip Advisor that make it sound like a mix between Alcatraz and a house featured on those OCD cleaner shows, so you have to take them with a pinch of salt, which it seems a lot of people have found in their bedding, amongst other unmentionables.

Life was probably easier when booking holidays before the internet. You took your 67 brochures home from the travel agent and spent an evening looking at misleading photographs of hotels. None the wiser you then went back to sit with the travel agent for a few hours whilst they made tippy tappy noises on their green screen VDU to secure your two weeks in Alcudia at a hotel that was three miles from the beach and not quite fully built.

Imagine that, two weeks, in one place……crazy thinking and different times. Now, in the world of DIY holidays and idiots like me who spend more time planning the trip than they do on it, the multi-destination options are more complex than the D-Day Landings. At this stage the world is our lobster of course and we may not even end up in the US, or indeed going away at all but that’s no reason to not have the fun of the possible in the meantime.

In other news this week I had a couple of days off work and spent it productively. After wasting time on nonsense like painting stuff round the house I invested a few hours in finishing off Season 4 of House of Cards. It is awesome. Clever, sophisticated and compelling viewing. You know you have a binge watch issue when you know exactly what time to fast forward to in order to avoid the opening titles on each new episode!

I enjoyed it so much that I have now started again from the beginning of Season 1, this time taking Louise with me. First time around I think Louise fell asleep during a crucial episode or two and I left her behind unable to wait for her to catch up. Watching for a second time is no less enjoyable. If you haven’t watched it, do yourself a favour and book a week off work to do so! Tell your boss I said it was OK.

Louise and Emily have a Once Upon A Time obsession which I just can’t get into. I’m not sure why, as it should, on paper, float my boat with all the Disney references but it never has. I do seem to prefer the more real-life type stuff when it comes to wasting hours of my life on Netflix. You know, real life type things like Game of Thrones!! There goes that theory.

Enjoy your Sunday.

Till the next time…….

Spring Means Only One Thing (again)…..

by mkingdon, posted in All This And More, mkingdon

Spring. The country emerges from the depressing cold tundra of traveling to and from work in the pitch dark, blinking and stumbling blindly into the unfamiliar sun. Lawn mowers are dug out of the garage or shed (the BEST thing about our current house is the absolute absence of any grass), people flock to B&Q on auto-pilot to buy Rattan furniture which will stay covered for all but six days of the wet summer and everyone posts on Facebook about their first barbecue of the year in that freakishly warm week we always get in April.

That’s what normal people do. What seems to happen to us, no sorry, Louise, is that the start of March triggers a Pavlovian response which involves the need to book a holiday. It’s as natural a reflex reaction as you’ll see from any dog hearing a bell at feeding time and so now we are wrestling with which planned home projects to back burner to facilitate said plans.

I should say any such plans will be for quite a different holiday this time. If we go at all, we don’t really know where to go. It will be much more beach based than anything we’ve done for the last decade and a half and who knows who will be in our traveling party.

One destination under consideration is the US of course. As we can go outside of school holidays these days (we are looking at end of September into October) we need to be looking at long haul to ensure the temperatures are high enough to satisfy Louise’s sun cravings and obviously southern parts of the states tick that box. Knowing Florida pretty well, it is tempting to head back there I guess, trying new destinations such as Miami or even the west coast of the state, which for some weird reason we still have never been too. There’s something about that Floridian beach culture that I really like. I’m no fan of the song really, other than the fond feelings and memories it conjures up of previous relaxing stays on US sand, but this sort of sums up the feeling I’m talking about.

The few days we spent at Key Largo on the beautiful private beach of the Hilton there have lasted long in the memory and this song takes me right back there along with the other Hilton we’ve done a couple of times at Daytona. The vivid colours of the clear Floridian sky, fluffy clouds (in between storms) and the white sand mixed with the incredible heat, and I just feel instantly relaxed. There’s a nice excitement at this stage of any planning. Aside from the key decision of whether we actually do go away or not, the almost limitless possibilities feel nice and that is just those available in Florida.

We paid a very brief visit to the Keys a few years ago and a return for a slightly longer stay feels justified. Naples was superb too or should we finally go to Clearwater, St Pete’s or Siesta Key? Of course, the old favourite Vero Beach then comes into the equation too. Do we go Caribbean? The Maldives look incredible but I may have to sell the house to fund that one. My brain hurts from the planning decisions and up until we actually decide to go I can enjoy wrestling with them. Is it strange that I enjoy this?

The knowledge we have of the sunshine state draws us back like a tractor beam. The (lack of) a language barrier, if you discount the fact that nobody in the US can pronounce my name of course, the food we love, the eateries we return to time after time and the knowledge that pretty much everywhere touristy delivers outstanding service make it a tough proposition to beat.

So over the coming days and weeks we can indulge ourselves in that lovely warm feeling of speculative holiday planning which delivers its own joy with no cost, up until the time you decide to actually go and have to press some expensive buttons on the internet.

Of course, for once, common sense may prevail and we will invest our funds instead on the things closer to home, like that new bathroom we need, some decorating and Louise has this crazy idea of needing a new car too. We’ll see. I may open up the betting market so that you can lay some money on what you think the outcome may be. I do know that this won’t be the normal Williams style of holiday. It feels right to do it differently now, whether that difference ends up only being that we’ll be in a slightly different part of the same place we always go to!

On a totally unrelated note some kind soul left a lovely review for my novel, All This And More, this week, so thank you for that as it means I can plug it again here without sounding overly needy to do so.

Till the next time…..

Geordie Bore

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

This week, thinking about what I could blog about I had two choices. I could either video myself drowning a kitten or I could have a moan about some national treasures. Not having a kitten to hand, I am going with the latter.

Ant n Dec….what happened? I’ve always liked them over the years and they have done fantastically well to have such a great career as presenters especially as Ant has trouble speaking. Their laid back, likable style has made watching them a pleasure and despite my complete hatred for all reality style TV, each winter I tolerate I’m a Celeb, mainly as I have no choice in my house and they make it watchable. That format too, I think, is getting dreadfully tired though and I wonder how long that can limp on.

Yesterday I was channel hopping in the afternoon and I stumbled across last week’s Saturday Night Takeaway. I turned over just as the “end of the show show” was starting. I watched it slack-jawed, and at times through my fingers as my toes had already curled so much they were not available.

Now, having seen lots of criticism of their recent hosting of the Brits, I held no truck with that. The Brits are a poisoned chalice and it doesn’t matter who presents them, they do badly. The cavernous venue just doesn’t lend itself to the close up intimate look to camera style of Ant n Dec so it felt false and corny. I thought nothing of it and moved on from the Brits and got on with my life continuing to wonder how Chris Martin gets away with singing a semi-tone flat in every song.

Now having endured the car crash of Takeaway I do wonder if they have gone full Tarbuck on us and are trying so desperately to channel Morecambe, Wise, Edmonds and Forsyth that they have somehow lost their own identity. I mean, what….is……this???

What do I not like about it? Well, it’s like a bad pastiche of a Carry On mixed with an episode of the Serbian version of the Generation Game. Random “celebs” just wandering about the stage gurning at the camera (What does Ashley Roberts do for a living?”) and Ant n Dec reduced to very bad pantomime performances. If this is the pinnacle of Saturday night entertainment I’d settle for a week full of Mondays. Novocaine for the masses served up in lovely bright colours. Still, they wear nice suits don’t they.

Come on chaps, this is poor and beneath you. I know they have been honest about mixing in old shows like Game For a Laugh, House Party and all those old classics, but they are old for a reason. The world has moved on, Edmonds is relegated to a dodgy game show on a minor channel and no-one has seen Henry Kelly outside of a re-run of Going For Gold in over twenty years.

Given the chance of a prime time TV slot on a Saturday please have some ambition. If we aren’t being asked to vote for some amateurs doing something they shouldn’t, we are subjected instead to this banal, hackneyed nonsense. It’s a shame lads as I really think you are good at what you do but this is TV tapioca. As a warning for where you are heading, can I just point you at this prescient piece of genius from Rik Mayall.

I doubt anyone will forgive me for this one, so if there is anyone still around next week…

Till the next time……

 

California Dreaming

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

Being almost permanently skint due to expensive kids and funding our holidays and lavish lifestyle in one of the Top Ten places to live in the UK (honest….look), our non working time activity tends to be dictated by whatever treats our £8 a month we give Netflix and my Amazon Prime membership can give us.

You’ve probably wondered in the past how on earth we have time to watch all the stuff we do as I have regaled you with reviews of all sorts from the unbeatable Breaking Bad to lesser, yet still entertaining shows. The trend, you may have spotted, is that they tend to be US shows. I don’t think this is a coincidence. There is simply something more exotic and exciting about watching a show set in the US than in Droitwich (apologies to the fine folks of that town).

I think it is burned into the DNA of many of us here in the UK, certainly those of my age, who were raised on shows such as Starsky and Hutch, The Dukes of Hazard and Knight Rider. Younger generations were raised on Lizzie McGuire, or whatever show was relevant to their generation too. None of those were outstandingly good of course but they just looked exciting and different from the grey Uk-ness of our daily lives.

Our latest binge watch sessions have revolved around the first two series of Ray Donovan and it has been great. This is set in (the very expensive bits of) LA, a place we haven’t been to and must, and it just looks great. Most of the most successful US shows rely on location to make them appealing to the eye. The sunshine helps, unless you are making some sort of Nordic Noir drama, then you go to Canada or Boston, but they still look great too.

It might be just me but I am a sucker for the TV non-reality of the States. All the traditions we try to imitate but fail, such as prom (ours just don’t seem the same having paid for two), the ball game and those leafy suburban streets with kids throwing newspapers from bikes onto freshly mowed lawns. Of course, those suburban scenes are those of the affluent upper classes and the gritty ghettos of the big cities might not float my boat as much.

My rational self knows that these cinematic scenes are not necessarily representative of real life. Having given emigration to the States more than a cursory consideration over the years I know that healthcare is a challenge, vacation time from work is limited, the politics are incredulous and sending your kid to school is only slightly less risky than deploying them to a war zone, but still, I can’t shake the dream from my mind. I guess America is a great place to live if you have money, much like anywhere, but I think more so.

Over the years of dreaming of such a move, our roots in the UK have been too deep and it never really was an option. Canada too has crossed our minds but family, jobs, schools and even bloody pets have meant it hasn’t ever come close to being a reality.

With Louise a nurse now our path into such a move may be easier than we might ever have found it. The kicker now of course is that with us in our mid-forties no bugger wants us, with our limited working shelf life and increasing health issues as we crash from middle age into our twilight years.

So I guess we’ll have to stick with Salford over Seattle and Leigh over LA, and whatever US scenery we can stream to our telly.

I know a few folks who sometimes read this blog have made big moves to new countries, so I’d be really interested to hear your thoughts and findings from your experiences. Don’t get me wrong we are not planning a similar move, I’d just be interested to know how you found it (and did it).

Till the next time…..

A Ranting Return

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

It’s been a while hasn’t it? All this trip report nonsense getting in the way of my pure gold blog posts every week. Welcome back. What on earth can I talk about now and will anybody care? Well, on the basis that hardly anyone will be reading this, we start with a rant….

So Facebook….it’s great isn’t it? It’s free, and ideal for keeping in touch with old friends, the sharing of vague emotional status updates, false bragging about how great our lives are and generally just seeking attention. That’s what it is intended for and I do most of those  on Facebook on a regular basis, as we all should. More than anything though it gives you a clear idea about which of your Friends on there might struggle to get themselves dressed of a morning.

Dear Facebook friends, I beg you to use the sense you were born with, the nouse you use in everyday real life when you are online. You would not act this way in real life.

Please, stop sharing right wing, made up, over sentimental, scam shite all over the internet. For example, you will often see….

Some school has banned the nativity due to nasty foreigners or people of a different colour being offended, share this to express your indignation.  Firstly, no they haven’t and even if they had what good is you clicking share going to do? Also, the old favourite…..

Someone is offended by a poppy…..again, no they aren’t. But then again I’m offended by a lot of things, like stupid Facebook stuff and Coldplay yet I don’t feel the need to start a Facebook meme about it that everyone then sees in their feed seventeen times an hour. Then we have…

For every share and like some company will donate some dollars…nope, they absolutely will not. Stop it immediately. Or maybe…

Facebook is trying to take this photo down, share it now. If Facebook cared about that photo enough to distract them from counting their money, then you probably wouldn’t see it in the first place…..do not click that shit!  One of my all time faves is….

Any post that ends with “and you won’t believe what happened next”. This translates to…this is click bait shite, please click onto this page and the other 100 pages you will be asked to click through to in order to generate a load of ad views/impressions on my advertising account…kerching. And I think we can all say Amen to….

Here’s a distressing photo of a sick child or abused animal…if you scroll down you are heartless. Type Amen. Sigh…really….just because some photo exists and someone has added some inciteful text to entice you to comment, like or share does not make it true. Facebook is not the news or some absolute source of truth. It’s social media and any idiot can post any sort of shite on it. Look, I’m doing it right now!!

a meme

Oh and those quizzes, like, see what kind of twilight character, squirrel or baked confectionery you are….well, that’s just you telling someone all your preferences and character traits so they can spam and annoy you with more ads. Your call!

If Zuckerberg is reading this (and he does most weeks) my one request for new functionality would be a “For all that is holy NEVER show me this again in my feed” button for that hilarious photo/meme or inspirational quote over that lovely scenic photo that I have already seen more often than my wife and kids.

Anyway, I know that 99% of my friends won’t read this, but please copy and paste it onto your foreheads because if you don’t, somewhere a small puppy will burst into flames due to ISIS or some other bogey man that triggers an irrational fear.

and yes…I’m OK hun! 🙂

Till the next time…..

The Adults Only Tour 2015 – Day Nineteen

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Day Nineteen – 14th September

Who knew that a holiday that started on the 27th of August 2015 would last all the way until mid-February? In more ways than I could ever describe, it has been one heck of a journey.

No matter how hard I try, our last day and our journey home never have any decent notes recorded. It isn’t intentional, I just can’t seem to bring myself to record this day. So I’ll do my best with the half a page I do have and the handful of photos, but your reading may be brief today.

I had another fitful night’s sleep before the alarm woke me at 7am. The next couple of hours saw the traditional Tazmanian Devil impression as we dash around the villa trying to get everything into our cases. Inevitably this involves the purchase of an extra case, which I nipped to CVS to do before we were able to finish and leave the villa at 9.45. It took an act of God to fit everything into the car and Grandad and I were a little hot and sweaty as we reversed off the drive.

A huge breakfast was now required, so we drove up to the 192 and I decided upon the Perkins, mainly as it was the first place we saw.

We were seated and ordered orange juice, coffees and in some cases chocolate milks.

I didn’t record what everyone had but you’ll get the idea from these photos.

We paid $103 plus a large tip made up mainly of all the change I wanted to get rid of. They didn’t seem to mind.

Next on the list was a trip up to Lake Buena Vista, where, being the coward I am, I put $10 of fuel in the car. With everything else going on today I wasn’t mentally ready for a game of Russian roulette with the fuel gauge.

Just when we thought that the car was about to burst at the seams we stopped off at Publix near Emily’s apartment to stock her up one last time before she would be left to fend for herself. The mood today was sombre as you can imagine. Not only were we going home, but of course one of us was staying behind and after knowing this day would come for many months it wasn’t making it any easier. It didn’t feel real.

Anyway, as we started wandering the aisles of Publix Louise had to nip to their loo. She found us again afterwards and on we went with the shop. A few minutes later she stopped in her tracks with a look of panic on her face. It would appear she had lost her phone. She dashed back to the loos to see if it was there. She knew she had it as we entered the store and so it MUST be in there right?

Wrong!

She went to Customer Services to see if it had been handed in there but it hadn’t.

I started to incur huge data roaming charges on my own phone now trying to contact Vodafone to block the thing and report it lost. This was, pretty much, the last thing we needed amongst everything else that was going on.

It was about this time that Louise realised that she hadn’t lost her phone at all and that it had been stuffed down her bra the whole time.

How we laughed.

Already emotionally spent, we took all Emily’s food and her new iron back to the car and somehow packed it in with everything and everyone else. As we set off for The Commons we all knew we were coming to the time we had all been dreading. We were about to drop Emily off for the last time.

I won’t document this in great detail. I have a history of over sharing our stuff all over the internet so let’s not and just say that it was difficult, and it isn’t something I want to experience again.

Despite my $10 investment we still coasted into the airport on fumes with my heart racing. Maybe that wasn’t due to the low fuel?

Having booked Premium Economy for the home leg we checked in quickly and easily, got through security and then monorailed out to gate 81. Louise, Rebecca, Sarah and I got a table in the Outback. We weren’t hungry but fancied a sit down for a drink. To be polite we ordered some cheesey fries too.

With this done I wandered off to the restroom to put my long pants on. This is a symbolic event every year and denotes the end of the fun. Today it felt more sombre than usual.

We wandered duty free for a bit and then as we eventually went to board the plane which had been delayed for half an hour it struck me very hard that I had three passports in my hand and not the usual four. My stomach churned.

I know I’m over egging this upset malarkey, and even looking back now I sound like a big girl even to myself, but at the time, this was how we felt and so I’m reporting it as such.

My notes end here. I will openly admit that Louise and I cried like babies as the wheels left the tarmac of Orlando. It felt strangely symbolic and the last twenty years flashed before our eyes. All the holidays, all the times we’ve flown home together and all the challenges Emily would now have to face on her own. Sure, she was twenty, but a young twenty and it was our job to look after her, both then and forever.

We eventually gathered ourselves somewhere above the Atlantic and the flight happened. We landed, waited an age for our cases and got ourselves home.

So there we are, the end, in many ways.

It’s been a blast over sharing these adventures with you all over the years. Our return home this time was an arrival into a whole new world. Louise and I returned to an empty nest, with Emily in the US and Rebecca and her boyfriend Tom getting their first place together. Both of those departures had been a long time in the planning so we knew it was coming. It didn’t make it any easier and I think we’ve both taken a while to get used to the idea.

So at this ending of an era, I suspect there won’t be any further trip reports. It feels that way anyway, mainly as there probably won’t be any more holidays of this nature. The days of the four of us going away will now be forever captured in these reports. Any future Disney trips will be very different I’m sure and not for some time and that weirdly feels OK to be honest.

We’ve been through some huge changes and challenges as a family in the last year or two with more to come no doubt.

So now, I need to thank you for reading this one and any of the others if you have. Writing these has been a huge part of our, or certainly my, enjoyment of these holidays. Louise, Emily and Rebecca, I thank you for letting me write them, tolerating the note writing and photo taking along with allowing me to share things you’d rather I didn’t with a load of strangers on the internet.

Girls, at least when you have kids of your own, you can look back on these trip reports and let your kids know how many knob gags their Grandad knows!  I’m waffling now as, to be honest, I don’t know how to end this. Bringing well over a decade of reports to a close isn’t something I know how to do, so how about a few memories from them?

It’s been a blast.

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Till the next time?

The Adults Only Tour 2015 – Day Eighteen

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Day Eighteen – 13th September

For any serial WDW visitor, there’s a phrase which strikes fear and dread into their hearts.

Last full day.

Here we are, after all this time, with just one more day here. Those of you who know anything about us will probably be able to guess which park we would spend such an occasion in. We were headed for Magic Kingdom of course, but aiming to be consistent with the rest of the trip we obviously decided to have a lie in. To be fair, my notes tell me I had a rough night, probably brought on by the thought of not only our last full day, but leaving one of my daughters behind too.

With this unintentional lie in I found myself on the PC shifting our FastPass bookings to later in the day. Of course, by doing this on the day I was now booking FastPasses for the monorail and to watch a trash can get emptied on Main Street.

With the morning a bit of a write off some packing happened and with that pretty much done we left the villa at 12.30. This wasn’t as bad as you may think as we wanted to stay until parades and fireworks tonight so this later start may give us a fighting chance.

It was raining. The weather making its own comment on the mood surrounding the end of the trip. We parked in Scar 119 and were in full poncho as we trammed into the TTC.

As we left the monorail the rain stopped. It is where dreams come true after all. I had my sack handled by an elderly US gent for the last time, Ryan had a cigarette and recovered as we took some photos.

As usual at the end of our summer trips, Halloween was in full effect on Main Street.

More photos happened as there was a definite sense of the impending departure minus one of our party.

Here we see what happens when two different people are taking your photo at the same time.

All trip I had been putting off visits to certain shops using the excuse that we needed to wait until Emily had her Cast Member discount, and then when that ran out, the age old “I don’t want to carry that around all day so we’ll come back at the end of the holiday”. Today neither of those were any good so we spent more time than I would ever want to in the Pandora shop on Main Street. Louise bought some earrings that were worth more than her actual ears.

Nana and Grandad spent some time chatting with a Cast Member in the shop whilst Louise and the girls spent more time choosing jewellery than we did our last house.

Of course having arrived at the park half way through the day, every ride had wait times almost as long as the time we spent in the Pandora shop. So we deployed the “everything is busy” strategy of wandering about and looking at stuff. The first thing we looked at was the new Circus area where Mickey and Minnie’s house used to be.

There’s a feeling that this isn’t for us as we no longer have children to which this relevant. Stuff moves on of course, but I will forever have Mickey’s house in my heart alongside the mental images of my very young girls within it.

We decided to catch the train and do a loop of the park.

As we waited for the train there was a rescue situation. A tiny turtle was sat on the rail of the train track about to find out that its shell was no match for a couple of tonnes of train. The Cast Member on the platform was told about it and he bravely made his way out onto the tracks and moved it on into the bushes, thereby saving a few hundred kids an experience that may well have scarred them for life.

Just in time….

We stopped at Main Street but didn’t get off.

We alighted (got off) at Splash Mountain and went into the shop there as we certainly weren’t getting on the ride. Inevitable hat trying ensued.

We bought Emily a fluffy blanket that had a hood. An essential I think you’ll agree.

We walked past Splash heading for Country Bear Jamboree. Yep, that’s how busy all the real rides were.

Having not seen this in years and of course Sarah never had, we enjoyed it more than we thought we might. We made our way then over to the new area to find Gaston about to appear. However, his queue was already full and closed to new guests, so instead we loitered at the front of the queue watching him interact with those who had waited since last week to see him.

Gaston found time to flirt with the girls as he spotted them taking photos of him.

Thankfully we were now approaching one of our FastPass times so we slowly wandered down to Space Mountain taking more photos as we did.

We did the People Mover to kill the last bit of time and to rest our legs.

At 5.05 we got on our first ride of the day, but to be honest we felt no sense of having not had a nice day so far. Sometimes it’s about where you are, not what you’re doing.

Space Mountain was fast and bumpy and my notes classified it as “full clench”.

Nana and Grandad had gone shopping rather than ride the mountain so we now met them on Main Street as we were now, having done one ride, heading out for our evening meal. We caught the boat headed for Trail’s End.

 

This is one of the nicest ways to make your way to food.

We arrived at 6.05 and checked in for our 6.15 reservation.

This is a buffet affair and so what followed was bordering on warfare. There are no photos as what happened was not pretty. Having gone all in on the superb food, dessert was not an option, but to be fair, the corn bread was cake anyway.

As we left we spent a little bit of time talking to the horse bloke. I suspect that isn’t his official title.

As we waited for the boat back to Magic Kingdom my favourite time of day, in my favourite place happened and for once my camera did a half decent job of capturing it.

Dusk in and around Magic Kingdom is just lovely.

The beauty of those photos were stark contrast to the absolute chaos that we found on Main Street. The first parade was about to happen and it was just madness. Keeping a party of seven together was a challenge but we somehow made it all the way to Thunder Mountain and used our FastPass.

By the time we had done that it was 8.45 and we headed for Main Street again to try and find an inch of space to watch Wishes and the parade. It was brutal. Busy does not describe it. We found a spot literally half way up Main Street in the middle of the street.

About here…

I have long since given up trying to capture Wishes on camera and we just stood and watched full of all sorts of emotions. Emily cried throughout.

Afterwards Louise and I had to battle the shops to buy gifts for everyone we hadn’t yet whilst everyone else went to find somewhere to watch the parade. That shopping experience wasn’t pleasant. The shops resembled a crowd scene from Ghandi but somehow we gave Disney a large amount of money and left to find the others.

By some miracle they had managed to secure a spot up on the balcony near the train station. After a ten minute wait the parade started and from the few hundred photos I attempted here are the few worth sharing.

Leaving the park was expectedly chaotic and we opted to take the resort monorail as the normal one was just madness. The trams were also packed and after a fair bit of waiting we finally got on one and got back to our car at 11. As we had sat on the tram waiting for the 612 safety announcements and checks there was a family in the queue going absolutely mental at the family sat in front of us. It was all in Spanish so I don’t know what they were saying, but they were clearly upset that they had not been able to board. As the family in front of us didn’t speak Spanish either most of the tirade was wasted. Everyone was tired and emotional at this stage.

We stopped off at CVS on the way home for water and some throat spray….yes I was STILL ill. We were in bed by 12 completely spent.

Till the next time……