It’s been an odd time of late. I feel like I’ve been in a bit of a funk for a while without really knowing why. I suppose we’ve been through an unusually high number of changes and challenges as a family recently which may be the root cause. For all the crap I do share here, anything that’s really personal, I tend not to. That rule was made even stricter by the incredible trolling, vitriol and in some cases the very real and personal threats messaged to us after Emily’s first go at working for Disney was cut short. If you think I’ve been radio silent about that whole experience since, you now know why.
Anyway, much water has passed and if I’m to continue to bother blogging at all (and at times it’s been a close call) then I should return to sharing as I used to or what’s the point? This thing started as a personal diary anyway, so if I don’t document what’s going on then when I read it back it will be worth little.
I digress. I suppose the largest reason for this feeling of funk may be the all too familiar empty nest syndrome. You may recall that as we returned from holiday last September we did so to find two empty bedrooms where the two largest parts of our lives used to be. For anyone, that can take some getting used to. It had been coming a while, but as we left one daughter in America and waved another off to her new home with her boyfriend we just sort of got on with life. Don’t get me wrong, in some ways it was great, peaceful, less stressful and definitely cheaper, but after giving so much of our time, hearts, wages and attention to two other human beings, not having them around was an adjustment and a half.
It’s as clichéd as the mid-life crisis to document the ins and outs of that empty nest experience so I wont. Some ten months on from that return from holiday and as inevitably as my waistline increasing year by year, things have changed once again. In that time we’ve experienced a couple of things with the girls that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but life doesn’t let you choose and after these events knock a bit more stuffing out of you, all you can do is dust yourself down and attempt another run at stuff. Personally, I’d say those two things have been the toughest things I’ve (as yet) had to deal with but that’s my job I suppose. Pardon the lack of detail. If you knew those details you would understand.
Anyway, to avoid this whole post being one big digression, I can now report that we find ourselves with a full house once again, because as of a few weeks ago, Rebecca returned home to complete the set after she and her boyfriend decided that this house renting lark was all too expensive and was severely restricting their fun and shopping activities. So we are not only back up to the full complement of Williams’s, we have an extra one for luck in the shape of Tom, Rebecca’s boyfriend, living here too. So much for that empty nest.
As much as the battle for the bathroom is real, it’s no real hardship having the house full again. Ultimately, if they are both happy, healthy and settled then despite all of our huge parenting mistakes, dropped balls and abandoned good intentions over the years, it’s all we can hope and aspire to. It doesn’t stop me fretting, faffing and fiddling in and around their lives and I don’t suppose I ever will. It also doesn’t stop us having those head in hands moments at some of their decisions, choices and cock ups but as adults now, those are theirs to make. My priceless advice to the girls is normally greeted with the same attention as a party political broadcast. I give it anyway as it will at least allow me the odd “I Told You So” somewhere down the line.
On the subject of advice, I can often be found boring any new parent to death about two things –
- As your kids get older, the problems and stress don’t decrease, they just change into different problems and stress.
- There is no ideal age to take your children to Disney World. Only worry when you can’t take them, and at any time you can, you should.
These new parents don’t even have to ask for that advice. I force it upon them, àpropos of nothing, uninvited with great gusto.
At least now with everyone back at Casa Williams, there may well be content worthy of some blogging which will save you all from my weekly moans about all sorts of oblique nonsense that nobody cares about.
So to bring everyone totally up to speed with happenings in the World of Williams, Louise has a new job, working in operating theatres at a local hospital and has now been a qualified nurse for over a year, Rebecca, as well as being back at home is doing really well in her apprenticeship at a local nursery and Emily has a full-time job too and is actually lucky enough to work with me now, learning lots, mainly about how absolutely shite my commute has been all these years.
I continue to work for far too many days a week, whilst not having sufficient time to research holidays, play bass in my band or write that second book which still sits there taunting me with its incompleteness.
So to end this post, with some appropriate Father’s Day advice, if you are one of my younger readers, do yourself a favour and listen to your Dad (and Mum) every now and again. We’re not always right but the percentages are high and whilst you’re at it, clean your rooms, run the Hoover around without being asked every now and again and take less time in the shower.
Till the next time……
11 thoughts on “Full House”
I know exactly what you are saying – the problems as they get older (we have two girls too) are things that you would never have thought would come out of the woodwork for mom and dad to solve (I say mom…I’m not American, it’s a Birmingham thing!). You can only advise and hope they listen…I can’t say I always listened to my parents. And 9 times out of 10 they were correct. There is nothing better than a full house and to welcome them home – cuz that’s what it is…. Home
I actually cried when I read about your full house syndrome again. How wonderful :D. I am still in the empty nest part and keep forgetting to not step too close to that big empty void. I still shed tears when I walk into a silent vacant house at the end of a long hard day at work. I miss my kids being home so much but begrudingly grateful that they are making the best of their time in the grown up world. I sooo miss them. I quietly envy your full house though and no matter what mistakes or regrets they make along the way, it is one big learning curve for us all and the doors are always open where it all began ❤ Good Luck to Emily, Rebecca and Tom and to Louise in her new role, despite aching feet…and most of all to you Craig for being their rock and being there to support and provide for them all through thick and through thin. Such a lovely family xxx
Thanks Carol, that’s lovely of you.
Enjoyed your post and thought it was full of good advice. Though I did hate hearing how mean and stupid people can be. I hope you will be able to open up again…and that all trolls will keep far away, back in their troll caves.
At any rate, from reading your blog and from reading all of your excellent books (duly purchased through Amazon for Kindle and highly recommended to one and all!), it seems clear you and your girls belong together. The more the merrier, right?
I am the mom of four kids (ages 18 to 23) and they are constantly in and out…. I love it!
Lovely post to read and we are a family of 5 with 3 girls. 22, 17 and 14 I am dreading when any of them move out I know it will happen, good luck to both your daughters and as long as they are all happy and content that’s all that matters x
As the song goes, “life is a roller coaster”! I’ve 2 girls, one still at home and the other engaged and about to move into their second home, ready to plan a wedding (take a second mortgage out now!). Yes, things don’t get any easier, they change. Sorry to hear Disney didn’t work out for Emily for whatever reason, but at least she can say she tried. Life isn’t just a roller coaster, it’s an experience that changes from day to day
I too have a 21 year old at uni and life is certainly rocky at times. I am very sorry that you had to have all the horrible trolling and I am also sorry that it has meant that you have been unable to share more candidly as you previously did, although I understand the need to keep your family safe. Thank you for shedding some light on this and for sharing with us all those wonderful memories of your family holidays and momentous occasions. I have laughed and cried at times and feel privileged to have been able to read along. Good luck to you all and I hope you do keep blogging, as I look forward to the weekly updates from casa Williams xx
So glad to have “you” back but fully understand why you have held back.
My daughter has a lot to thank you for as I had just booked to go back next May without her as she couldn’t afford it (she and bf are off to Majorca in sept) I have now booked them flights to join us as you’re so right, whilst she still wants to come I should revel in that!! Also I lost my dad 15years ago and your words certainly hit an emotional spot today. Thank you and welcome back!!!
You are so right, and what ever the reason the home and hearth are full again. Happy Father’s Day from Twentyyears on the DIBB.
We too just started talking about taking our son’s girlfriend with us next year- she was three last time she Whilst we can enjoy health and the time and money( sort of) we will do it. As they say, you are a long time dead and you can’t take it with you, and if you haven’t got it anyhow the insurance will pay it when you do go, lol!
Just shows what a lovely mum and dad you have been for the girls to come home to you 🙂
Please keep blogging, even if you tell us the weather update, Sunday’s just wouldn’t be right without reading your blog.