I’m off work today. This is because yesterday I underwent a touch of surgery. Nothing major, well, major enough to need a general anaesthetic, and a few frayed nerves, but I’m up and about today, if a little gingerly, with more dressings than Paul Newman.
The day started early, and not without nerves. Upon arrival, insult was added to potential injury when I was instructed to put on my gown, which is understandable, but what are the medical benefits of paper underwear? I think they are just used as a source of comedy whilst you are asleep. They certainly are not built for comfort I can tell you.
It has to be one of the oddest sensations and experiences in life to be put under. Some stranger wanders up, sticks a needle in your hand and talks to you like some sort of begowned Paul McKenna. However, this was not to be the only odd conversation of the day. As the theatre nurse came to collect me, we walked down to theatre, and she struck up a conversation no doubt intended to put me at ease. Of course this started with the weather, but then turned into a very bizarre (one sided) conversation about her recently acquired paddling pool for her kids. This went on for a good ten minutes, lasting all the way until I got onto the slab.
I now know the relative benefits of your solid framed affair compared to the traditional blow up model. This is amazing really as my mind was obviously elsewhere, as we were sat in a little room just outside theatre, and I could see and hear stuff going on next door that was quite distracting.
Anyway, back to my drifting off. I’m sure they have a standard script for these occasions, as he gave me all the usual warnings about feeling a small prick in my hand (which I thought was a little forward as we had only just met) and then that I might feel some cold in my hand. Then as I started to feel a strange tingling all over, he was telling me all about some lovely warm beach I was on, and that the oxygen mask on my face was really a scuba mask, and I was drifting along looking at fish and stuff……
That is where I left that conversation, as the next thing I knew my name was being called out by some nurse who was all blurry. Mighty relieved to be awake again, a quick squirt of pain killers and a bumpy trip back to my room brought things to an end. Within an hour or two I was fairly normal again, enjoying my lunch and having my dressings done, however, not at the same time. How I am looking forward to having them all removed, as they made a great job of attaching some sticky tape to every hair on my body!!
I was allowed home around 4.30pm, and enjoyed every pot hole on the endless drive home (Louise was driving not me!!). I then ate the largest McDonald’s known to man as I was starving.
So I have a few weeks of being trussed up whilst stuff heals, but I am told I should be fine to go to work on Monday. Hmm, we’ll see!!
Luckily I managed to get this done before my new job starts, and of course before our holiday.
Having time on my hands at the moment, I stumbled across something that really made me think on the internet. No, nothing like that!!! One of Rebecca’s friends had posted some old photos, and it seems that we officially had the cutest child in the universe. Well we had two, but I only have photographic proof of one at my disposal for this post.
It is strange that this feels like just yesterday, but on the other hand seems like a lifetime ago.
So if any of you have children around this age, not too long from now you will wake up and find out that they have turned into something like the photo at the foot of this post.
Right, I’m off to make the most of not being able to do anything, although I think I can manage to manipulate the Xbox controller!!
Till the next time…..
5 thoughts on “Trussed up like a chicken”
Superb dad’s digital dallyings.
I thought the snip was just a local anaesthetic……..
ps. Hope you feel better, I would have thought you need a couple of days off next week to recover and …… finalise the trip planning.
Lol. It defo wasn’t the snip. I would never be that brave!!!
I wondered why you were on the Xbox on Friday morning, I was working from home (early lunch if the boss is reading) and was going to join you in a game of COD but you were playing some game I had never heard of. Good luck getting the sticky tape off….ouch.
Yes, I’ve been assured that using the Xbox controller is perfect therapy to aid healing!! 🙂