My Big End Has Gone!

Right, I can’t stay long, we are two-thirds of the way through Series 4 of Game of Thrones. I know you’ll understand!

I have made a mental note to draft a very stiff letter of complaint to the producers and indeed George Martin about the lack of dwarf sex thus far in this series. What the producer of the Beatles can do about it I don’t know, but it is worth a try. Game of Thrones without dwarf sex is like a summer without a trip to Florida. Unheard of, unfair and something I should not be subjected to. I need both dawrf sex and Florida holidays in my life. Now there’s a sentence I didn’t think I’d be typing.

The main news I wish to share this week is good, I hope. For all those of you that have been saving up to buy my book, and had only managed to save up 50% of the required fee….well, for the next few days, you now have enough to enjoy probably the finest piece of literature ever written, by someone called Craig Williams from Bolton.

Yes, All This And More is just 99p!

Book Cover

Buy 400,000 copies please.

Having the book on promo does seem to have worked, with the rate of sales rising quite dramatically over the last few days. Hopefully, those taking the plunge will like it and tell the world about it in the form of a glowing review. (That’s a hint).

The most exciting part of the week just gone was the realisation that the MOT on Louise’s car had expired, let’s just say, a little while ago. It was a genuine oversight (officer), and resulted in a panic ridden call to our newly regular mechanic. He’s a mobile one. This doesn’t mean he turns up with two turntables, a string of neon lights and some Boney M records. No, instead he comes to us for servicing and stuff, and so far has seemed extremely trustworthy in terms of not inventing issues to relieve us of our meagre wealth.

One of the great fears of a non petrol headed office worker nancy boy like myself is the trip to the garage where they sneer at my soft hands and work suit and proceed to shake their head whilst telling me my big end has gone. It would be nice if they would have the decency to actually be looking at the car when they say that, but nevertheless I get my wallet out anyway.

So despite the overdue nature of the MOT a pass was received, and with mine done just a few weeks ago that makes two out of two. So there we have used up all of our good fortune until around 2019. It is nice to be legal once again, which was a phrase Jimmy Saville and his mates may have done well to heed.

The weekend has fallen through my hands like sand again, with the  main event last night being the attendance of a “charidee” fundraising event. It was perhaps not quite as grand as that phrase may infer. It was a pie and peas with beer evening at my brother and sister in-laws. They had laid on said delights in return for donations towards Paula’s (my sister-in-law) upcoming bike ride. She is hoping to raise money for stammering children by cycling from London to Paris over four days next April. This is quite clearly madness and the damage to one’s rear end on such a journey will no doubt eclipse whatever the mechanics would say had happened to my big one.

Anyway, the pie, peas and beer were all very nice and a good amount of cash was raised, as well as my team being not just victorious, but imperious in the France and England based quiz. I have the trophy and medal to prove it.

Should you wish to find out more about Paula’s endeavors here is the info you need.

Right, episode seven beckons.

Till the next time…..

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s