I Have Cosmically Ordered My Balls to Drop.

Life is all about balance. For example, I completely failed you on my promise of mid-week bloggery whilst off work. However, I was very, very successful in forcing myself to do nothing, so that balances it out. It may sound odd to you that I have to force myself to do nothing, as I am quite competent at parking my arse on my seat and vegging for hours at a time, but as I have mentioned before, I am wired to be task driven, and more importantly task completion driven. This is why Louise can put three brushes worth of paint on any surface in the house, leave all the brushes and implements out and know that I cannot stand it to be half done.

So yes, with a week off, with no plans, I did very well at doing nothing. I pottered a bit, did a bit of taxi-ing and walked the dog every day. I also watched about eleven episodes of Homeland (never seen it), and about six hundred and four episodes of Arrested Development all courtesy of Netflix. So I’d call last week a win overall. I feel better for it, and speaking of balance again, whilst this Sunday is followed by the horror of an impending Monday, there is but four days at work, before another four days off. On balance, that’s a good thing too.

This week of no work has reinforced what I have long believed. Having done pretty well at not getting dragged into work emails, although I didn’t avoid it entirely, I now know for sure that I could retire tomorrow, not miss work one bit, and enjoy my days immeasurably more. There would be no moping around the house, with me missing the cut and thrust of corporate life, I can assure you of that. Not that I do much cutting and thrusting, but you know what I mean. I trust that the lottery Gods are listening/reading, and using a technique embraced by Noel Edmonds, Cosmic Ordering, I am ensuring this will be my destiny before the week is out.


Many say that money can’t buy you happiness, and we’ve all heard many tales of woe and hardship from millionaire celebrities, but frankly, they are just doing it wrong. Give me a few million and I’ll show you how it’s done, and I can guarantee I’ll be generally happier that I am sat in the commute to office. Hark at me, going on about Cosmic Ordering, and the like. One week off work and I’m sat here wearing open toed sandals and a kaftan with flowers in my hair. Give me till lunch time tomorrow and I’ll be spitting bile and vitriol all over social media again. Work is quite clearly bad for me.

There is still no chance of me booking a Florida trip this year. So sure are we of not going that Rebecca has arranged to go away with her boyfriend’s family to their place in Turkey. Yep, we really are NOT going this year. Of course, now that I have cosmically ordered my balls to drop then she will simply have to have two holidays once those millions are tucked away in my account. I think she’d be up for that.

Both girls continue to give me reason to believe we may have done a half decent job at this parenting lark. They both have part-time jobs, at which they both work hard and do the best they can. Rebecca continues to show determination and motivation that she could not possibly have inherited from me in her quest for the physique she desires. It is awe-inspiring, literally, how committed she is, and the results she is seeing. She is also doing very well at college, needing no policing in her attendance, and pretty much has her life planned out. That will all change of course but she is driven, conscientious, unstoppable and based on all of that, probably the milk man’s.

Whilst Emily has no such long-term plan yet, which is fine by us, she has herself a job that keeps her ticking over, gives her some great experience, and I’m sure things are going to come into focus for her before too long.

So having delivered you a largely positive blog, no doubt brought about by my chilled week off and today’s football (Up the pool!), I shall leave you to wonder if it was really me that wrote this whilst I go and roast my potatoes. Alas, that is not a euphemism.

Till the next time…..


2 thoughts on “I Have Cosmically Ordered My Balls to Drop.

  1. Go Craig, not doing a lot or whatever you want to is a lifestyle I could get used to.

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