By The Power of Olly Murs’ Hair Transplant

If life were fair then obvious anomalies, such as Olly Murs playing Wembley, would be unheard of. This modern-day Sid Owen autotunes his way to another sold out night at a huge venue whilst genuine talent such Jessie J plays relatively tiny venues like the Manchester Apollo when touring. Now, I’m no avid Jessie J fan, in fact I’d struggle to tell you more than a couple of her songs, but in terms of singing talent there is little contest. Such is the power of the record buying demographic I suppose. Young girls are the king makers of the pop industry.

This is undoubtedly the only reason why I cannot make a living from playing gigs and not have to accommodate the nine to six existence of my day job. Age, no hair, limited talent and a tendency to be a couple of stone the wrong side of my fighting weight may also contribute, but you get the idea.

Yes Friday night witnessed my second gig this century and I enjoyed it very much. Sure it was a cramped, hot, sweaty pub but that did not diminish the amount of enjoyment. It also helped that I felt like I knew at least some of the songs this time around and so I was able to relax a little more. Overall, it went well, folks enjoyed themselves and I think we picked up a couple more gigs as a result. Even packing up after midnight in a moderate drizzle was tolerable. You won’t see Olly Murs doing that as it would play havoc with his hair transplant.

Whilst on a creative roll, my first (and hopefully not last) novel, All This And More,  is currently gracing Amazon at a ridiculous 99p. That’s hours of entertainment for not a lot of cash. Should you have not yet purchased a copy, firstly, shame on you and secondly now is the time. Who knows when this crazy offer will be repeated. It is a time limited offer so don’t delay!

Book Cover

With the year motoring along now our thoughts are starting to turn to our WDW trip. Louise especially declares herself very ready for our holiday and is even doing silly things like trying to have a say in what we do when we go. I know, crazy right? This weekend she has been trying to add a night away at the beach. The implications and complications this sort of late change can make is incalculable. It is only because I am a planning genius that I can begin to contemplate such madness. We were always going to drive over to Daytona to watch some baseball on Labour (Labor is no way to spell that word America) weekend, but I was not planning for us to stay over.

Today then, I have been looking into hotels over in Daytona to make Louise feel as if her input is valid. The benefit of doing so is that it fills up that weekend when we shall not be going within five miles of a theme park as all of America and several other countries will be trying to ride Soarin’.

The current front-runner is Hyatt Place, which looks like this.

Hyatt Place

It fits our (small) budget for this unplanned excursion and has lots of good reviews. If nothing better turns up as I continue my research then that shall be booked and the plan altered. It will soon come to a point where the plan cannot be amended again as it will be laminated and stored away for safe keeping!

With my eye on Orlando so to speak I have noticed a couple of new attractions which seem to share two themes. The first is that they both involve heights and the second is that Louise won’t be going anywhere near them due to that first theme.

The Orlando Eye, much like the London one, will be familiar to many. I very much doubt we’ll be paying a visit as Louise would need to be unconscious to darken its doors.

Having said that, there would be more chance of Louise living the rest of her days going round on the Eye if the alternative was to go on the other one just once.

The Vomatron looks like fun but I fear that I’d feel like death for about a week after riding. Rebecca and her friend Sarah may have to be the volunteers from our party should we get to Old Town!

We are 101 days away from departure and it is nice to have that so close now. With everything else we’ve had going on it hasn’t been something we have thought about or focussed on too much. Hopefully I can now bore you to death over the next few weeks with every small planning detail, most, as you know, will involve food.

Speaking of which, time to eat.

Till the next time…..

Sid Owen vs Olly Murs, Discuss.

I worry myself sometimes.  The state of my mental health is a cause for concern.  It is a source of eternal puzzlement where the random thoughts that populate my noggin come from.

Today, whilst packing the shopping into bags at Asda, completely out of nowhere I had an internal discussion with myself about how it was suddenly blindingly obvious that Olly Murs is having Sid Owen’s career, but in reverse order.  I had not heard from or seen either of these minor celebs during the morning, but still this startling realisation came to me from nowhere.

It made perfect sense to me, which is perhaps a greater cause for concern than actually having the thought itself.  Allow me to explain.

Both of these allegedly talented Essex/London types have somehow overcome the hurdles of a total lack of star quality and talent to forge what seem to be quite lucrative careers.  Olly has lucked his way through a TV talent show, only to emerge a year later turning out turgid pseudo reggae pop.  Owen on the other hand must have known someone in casting at Eastenders, and played himself for many years before becoming every impersonators catchphrase when referencing Eastenders.

All together now  “RRRIIIICCCKKKKKEEEEEE!!!”

So what of my theory that they are living out each other’s careers in reverse.  Well this is the thought that came to me.  Sid Owen limped along in Eastenders for too many years before believing his agent’s promises of Number 1 singles and TV specials, which led to him throw away that steady and well paid contract on Stenders, to them move on and release what could well be the most insulting homage to reggae since Boris Gardner.

Don’t believe me?

Murs it seems has started his career with a similar two-fingered salute to the reggae genre, and it can only be a matter of time before the hits dry up, and he meanders through panto in Bognor, to eventually turn up in Eastenders as some long-lost relation of some character I am not aware of.  So you see, careers in reverse!

Made perfect sense to me at the checkout today.  As I said, I worry myself sometimes.  The fact that Sid Owen’s pop “career” is lurking in my subconscious is a reason to visit the doctors all by itself.

Anywho, now I have that off my chest, what have we been up to?

Jack
He knows that fringe won't last!!

It has been a busyish old week really.  It has been my nephew’s birthday, and Jack is now 18.  Having watched him dance naked by the Christmas tree some very short years ago, I cannot believe he is now officially an adult.  Mind you at 18, it is surely only a matter of time before he is again dancing naked by a Christmas tree, but this time he won’t be four, and he will be off his tits on tequila!!

Rebecca and George
Rebecca and George (other nephew)

To celebrate, we all went out to the Red Hot World Buffet in Manchester on Saturday afternoon.  I believe this to be a national chain, and I would encourage those unfamiliar with it to give it a go.  What it lacks in quality, it more than compensates for in quantity, and to be fair the quality is fine too.  I ate a lot.  Those four words should avoid me having to describe the endless procession of plates that graced my table.

A veil shall be drawn over the exact events.  Safe to say, I got my money’s worth, mainly as Jack’s Mum & Dad paid, so I guess I got their money’s worth.

So by tea time yesterday we were home, stuffed, and to be honest ready for bed.  Louise, to her credit then went on to decorate the downstairs loo.  By that, I do not mean that she undertook some sort of dirty protest following a buffet overload.  No, she actually was wallpapering and stuff.

All of this bleeding decorating is going on as next weekend we are hosting a special event for Louise’s Mum.  We are having 40 family and friends round to celebrate a landmark birthday.  She will be 80!!

So this has meant that all of those jobs that we have been putting off, like painting the kitchen, and re-papering the downstairs loo after the not so recent garage conversion meant one wall got re-plastered (it’s complicated), have had to be done as we have folks coming round.  We may even have to hoover too!

Having failed to benefit from the so-called extra hour in bed this morning, I used the extra time to put the final finishing touches to the kitchen, and once finished put the decorating stuff back in the shed where it will sit going stiff until we decorate again, and then realise we didn’t clean stuff well enough and have to go buy some more.  I had finished painting, had breakfast, showered and dressed before 9am.  Tragic.  No wonder my mind was playing tricks on me during the BIG SHOP.

I shall leave you with just a small insight into my buffet experience.

Desserts
Sweets Jesus!

You may be shocked by the contents of that plate.  I know, pathetic right.  This was Louise’s plate, I had twice as much as that!!

Till the next time……