Would Ju-Believe It?

I can’t be sure but I think I heard something about some royal celebration? Did I get that wrong? I turned on the telly and I couldn’t see much about it.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the Queen. I thoroughly enjoyed The Crown, I have bought many of her stamps over the years and I’m sure she brings in a few quid for the country, but I have reached Jubilee fatigue now. If I see one more interview with a “member of the public” recounting a six-second meeting with the Queen a few decades ago I may have to gouge my own eyes out.

None of their “meeting Queenie” stories can top mine of course. In 2012, I had a deep and meaningful encounter with Her Majesty, as you can see here.

There can’t be many folks who can claim the Queen did a driveby on them. This picture was taken from my then office in Manchester. It was during the hipster start-up phase of my career, which mainly involved writing on windows, not selling very much and the owner changing his mind every six minutes. I returned to the comforting monotony of corporate life some six months later.

A lack of respect for the Jubilee this weekend is probably about as popular as my tweeting about Sunlit Uplands, but as much as I wish her well, it’s all got a bit much. I’ve appreciated the four day weekend of course. I’ve had no work to get in the way of puppy minding. It will not shock you to learn that my weekend has involved some mowing, but only on the regular lawn and not the big field. I mowed that for the first time this year three weeks ago and I think I just made it angry. It has grown back with a deep and meaningful vengeance. I may decide to leave it as a nature supporting, wildflower meadow this year. The only trouble with that idea is that Woody’s little legs can’t cope with blades of grass above a couple of inches high and he has very much enjoyed his times on our field so far. I can see another three to four hours with a mower in my not too distant future.

Anyway, away from committing treason, most of my week has been spent outside waiting for Woody to wee. His first few days here were blessed with November-like weather, which was especially pleasant. I struggle to relax with a puppy in the house, treating them as a ticking time bomb, and mentally counting down from the last time he emptied himself. So I tend to be outside with him on the regular.

It is too early to say, but there are signs that he is starting to get the message now and if he’s anywhere close to ready he will immediately wee as he gets outside. Don’t get me wrong, there have been 45-minute battles of will under an umbrella, with him darting to the back door every two seconds and me telling him we aren’t going in until he wees. I’ll let you guess who has won these battles to date.

He sleeps well though. We’ve not had any nights yet where he has cried more than a minute or two before settling down and despite a slightly earlier rise than normal it hasn’t been too bad.

Hades, our newly inherited cat, has settled pretty well too. He’s had the occasional forlorn wailing session but we suspect it is because he still has his bits and bobs and there are two (neutered) female cats in the house. He will be “done” soon. What a welcome to the household! Here he is looking as if he knows what I just typed.

It’s raining again today here in the Costa Del Darwen, so more fun and games with Woody and his weeing. Wishing you a more pleasant Sunday than that!

Till the next time…..

Bubble wrap, boxes and far too many boats!

We’re packing.  Alas not for a holiday, but for the move.

With ten years having elapsed the amount of absolute junk we have accumulated is staggering.  This is despite having to jettison a load when we did the garage conversion last year.  Bubble wrap has been acquired, boxes purloined, and every room bears the scars of the battleground that is Williams v Junk.

Pop it!

It is amazing what you find in these circumstances though.  The girls have today remembered that they own (amongst a million other long forgotten objects retrieved from under a bed or drawer) a Gameboy and a Nintendo DS, with a vast library of games.  These now sit on eBay hoping for a bid or three.

This afternoon Louise and I ventured into the dark expanse of horror that is…..THE LOFT!  It was strewed with bin bags full of summer clothes, photos (remember when you used to get them printed?), and a vast array of games consoles from across the past decade or two.  Those along with two PCs, with monitors large enough to house a small family have been wrestled down from the roof space and taken along to the tip.  I am such good terms with high vis vest man at the tip that I think I’m going to be best man at his wedding.

Before tipping said PCs, I gently (ahem) removed the hard drives from them just to make sure that no-one got their hands on the porn, I mean personal data held upon them.  I then employed a team of six bodybuilders to help me carry each of the HUUUGGEE PC monitors bought in the 90’s, into the mondeo.  The audible groan from the trusty Ford could be heard for miles.

Our spare room is now just a giant pile of bin bags and guff that we need to sort through.  That is our long weekend spoken for then.

Still it could have been worse, I could have had to watch a thousand boats go down a river in the pissing rain and cold.  I caught a few minutes of this debacle on the BBC today and it was, pardon my french, piss poor.  The fact that five hours of telly was devoted to it is mind blowing.  I salute those having to commentate on it.  Next week they are to make paint drying sound exciting.

I can’t have been the only person to wish that they had employed one of the Disney guys to organise this boats floating past a queen thing.  I mean, have they not seen Fantasmic?  It certainly would have made the whole thing more bearable for her Maj and those unfortunate enough to have made the journey to witness it to.  Imagine the profit from the sale of ponchos too!

Exciting much?

That’s more like it

I hope you all enjoy your extra two days off.  Personally, I could do without them.  I know that sounds silly, but at some point in the near future I’ll tell you why.  I am still working through “work issues”, and if you aren’t bored of them yet, I sure am.  Hopefully, very soon I shall emerge from the darkness and into the proverbial light, and get back to blog’s full of Disney planning and ludicrous innuendo.

Till the next time…..