Month: November 2024

The Ump Me, Do You Need A Wee Tour 2024 – Day Three Thursday 17th October

by mkingdon, posted in The Ump Me, Do You Need A Wee Tour 2024

I slept solidly until 2am and then again until 4am. When I woke again at 7.30 there were questions about what the plan for today was. Sure, I’d had a plan in place for months but the weather looked like scuppering that as it was looking too chilly for the planned visit to Typhoon Lagoon.

The preference seemed to be Hollywood Studios so with it already being too late to be getting there, never mind trying to plan a day that wouldn’t involve riding Star Tours and watching the Muppets (RIP) seventeen times I had work to do.

There was no choice but to buy Multipass again, so I did before showering and getting dressed. I did OK with the first LL, securing Rock n Rollercoaster, Star Tours and Alien Swirling Saucers.

We were out of the house by 8.30 and in the park just after 9am. Not bad. My heart sank seeing huge queues at the entrance but I was hopeful that was driven by incompetence rather than attendance.

Our first LL wasn’t until 12.30 so I was on the app trying to find a tolerable standby wait. Toy Story Mania promised a twenty-minute wait so off we went.

We entered the queue full of excitement about the day ahead, with Freddie particularly looking forward to Rock n Rollercoaster.

After about five minutes of queueing a cast member entered the area and shouted that currently, of the the three tracks available, two were down and the new estimated wait time was 70 minutes, but the other tracks may come up at any time.

A lot of folks left so we figured we’d give it a bit of a wait and see what happened.

After about 15 minutes Freddie was clearly desperate for a wee. I took him out, and asked a cast member could I rejoin our party afterwards. They said of course so all was well and it was easy to find everyone as they had not moved.

We were now trapped in the quandry of having committed almost an hour to the ride that leaving would inevitably see everything open back up and us kick ourselves. We were indeed just about to give up and we were looking for the easiest way out of the queue when things began to move. After 30 minutes in the same spot we were seated on the ride in about five, having waited, spookily for 70 minutes. All the tracks were now open though.

For the second day running the first ride of the day had let us down with its wait time. I have to admit that during that long wait and reflecting on yesterday’s experience of lots of rides being down, I was getting a bit fed up and sulky about our Disney experience so far.

I rode with Rebecca and won convincingly of course.

We had obviously missed our next LL slot at Star Tours as we didn’t get off Toy Story Mania until 11.15. That ride had availability all day so I just moved that to later and we headed in the direction of Sunset Boulevard. It was time for lunch, having had no breakfast, before our next ride.

We mobile ordered at Rosa’s Canteen.

The usual array of hot dogs, burgers and nuggets with some universally disappointing dessert options.

With that tucked away it was time for Rock n Rollercoaster and we set up child swap at the entrance, meaning that Freddie could ride it twice, with Tom who sat out with Dougie.

As we waited for the few minutes our LL afforded us, Freddie was that lovely mix of fear and excitement. He literally could not stand still.

He loved it despite what his face was saying on the photo.

We walked over to Star Tours whilst he and Tom rode again.

It was my turn to sit out with a now-sleeping Dougie.

I did some LL faffing on the app and got us a LL for Frozen sing a long at 3.

With Star Tours done Louise and I went for a drink at the Tap House whilst everyone else went to do Tower of Terror which looked to have an inoffensive standby wait.

I got some of the sweet and spicy almonds which were about three times more addictive than crack.

We all met at Frozen at 2.45 and were immediately annoyed that the LL time of 3 p.m. was for a 3.30 show. So we wandered down to the Star Wars Launch Bay for a look around.

Dougie was awake again.

The boys met Chewbacca with Dougie really not sure how he felt about that.

Now, it was actually time for Frozen!

We wondered if it would hold Dougie’s interest, but he loved it.

We made our way over to Galaxy’s Edge now, stopping off on the way to watch The Muppets. I am nothing if not prescient with all things Disney. In my notes for this day I wrote that this was half empty and had no wait all day and wondered if its days were numbered. At this point, I am going to start invoicing Bob Iger for consultancy.

We walked right through Galaxy’s Edge, having a look at various stuff…

and we stopped for what I think qualifies as a coffee.

Freddie was delighted with his coke.

We were soon out the other side and where we needed to be for our next LL on Alien Saucers.

Everyone enjoyed that one and with no options available beyond what we already had booked, we had an hour to kill before our next LL on Smuggler’s Run. Knowing we would have to do some queuing at this point we decided to go and do standby for Smuggler’s and then ride it again with our LL.

The posted wait time said 45 minutes. Dougie was measured, a lot, and got on by a whisker.

As we got to about 20 minutes into the queue, Freddie started his now familiar dance indicating he needed a wee. With no real way out we knew we were in trouble. We either abandoned our wait or maybe there was another way.

Rebecca downed the contents of a water bottle in their backpack and we devised a cunning plan. The queue was quite slow moving, so at the agreed time, I knelt down pretending to tie my shoelace, holding up the queue behind us and Tom and Rebecca crowded around Freddie whilst he did what he needed to do in that bottle. It worked a treat, with even a wet wipe available to wash his hands afterwards. The bottle was jettisoned at the next bin. Luckily at six years old, it takes about five seconds to have a wee, not the hour or so it can at my age.

Dougie had no clue what was going on either time we rode but he loved it all the same. Riding it twice like that did give me at least a fighting chance of trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

It was about 7pm now and time to go.

We walked out and back to the car and headed for Sickies on the 192, which was in the plan and staying there despite us changing things for today.

It took about 20 minutes to get there.

We were told there would be a 30 minute wait for a table but we were seated in 10.

We shared the Spare Parts to start.

Weirdly I was craving a salad. My body does this as a reaction to abuse from time to time, so I had the Avocado Salad, as did Rebecca.

Louise had a chicken fajita salad.

Tom had the Hot Beef Sandwich, also known as the “CVS have a cream for that”.

The boys had Mini Corn Dogs and Tots and a Cheeseburger.

Everything was delicious. The service was great even though a good number of the servers were giving off Wentworh Detention Centre vibes.

With several shakes, wines and drinks it was $170 including a good tip.

We were all exhausted, but not too tired to enjoy another tour of CVS on our way back to the villa for some bite cream and moisturiser. We were home by 9.30, again having to endure several pockets of really crap traffic even at this time.

Till the next time……

The Ump Me, Do You Need A Wee Tour 2024 – Day Two Wednesday 16th October

by mkingdon, posted in The Ump Me, Do You Need A Wee Tour 2024

We did a decent job with the body clocks. Well, Louise and I did. I think Dougie made a very early appearance so Tom was in the pool at some unreasonable hour. It was 5.45pm for us and we finished unpacking and showered.

It looked like I was being a kind and wonderful husband by making Louise some coffee and toast and taking it upstairs to her while she got ready, but it was really just a selfish attempt to hurry things along and get us out of the house at an hour to benefit from the first day’s early rise.

I dressed in my smallest T-shirt knowing it may never fit again this trip.

At 7 a.m. on the dot, I was on the Disney app securing a virtual queue for Tiana. This was a pleasing start. Three days earlier in the UK, I had secured us Multipasses, hoping to make the first day go smoothly. As we were off-site, there were slim pickings in terms of times for our first of the day, so they pretty much only started from lunchtime.

We left the house at 8 am, which was right around the time I would have liked to have been waiting at the turnstiles to get into Magic Kingdom. It took 25 minutes to get there and we parked in Peter Pan 25. I had passed Rebecca the camera, not needing to explain what was required of her.

It felt a little cool this morning and we were surrounded by folks in several layers of fleece and long pants. The early start may have been catching up with some of us already.

We arrived at the tram stop as one was pulling away but that was because there was another right behind it. Tom, as would happen every day, got pulled for a manual bag check but we were getting closer!

The monorail looked stacked with a queue stretching right down the ramp, so we opted for the ferry. Of course, as we got very close to the entrance they closed the gate and it left. We could see another one coming in over the water.

We boarded after a few minutes and with being close to the front of the waiting guests we got a seat too. I hung over the side taking some more pictures.

These trips are often just a long stream of decisions about which line might move the quickest and typically me getting most of them wrong. Here was the next.

We were behind the usual collection of goons trying to use Blockbuster membership cards to get in, but finally, we made it.

I fired up the app looking for some guidance on which ride to head for first which wouldn’t have a long standby line. Three rides were currently down which was a bit shit and it proved to have a significant knock-on effect until our lightning lanes kicked in later.

Pirates, Jungle Cruise, and one other, which I forget were down. These big crowd soakers not being available meant that other rides were already mobbed. Buzz said it was ten minutes so we headed there and joined the queue which looked suspiciously longer than ten minutes.

The fact that we were queuing outside pointed towards a much longer wait and that we were able to see some local wildlife. Everyone thought this was a frog, but I toad them it wasn’t.

It took 45 minutes to get on the ride which was in danger of squashing the magical joy of that first-day arrival in Magic Kingdom. Still, everyone enjoyed the ride. We exited, immediately needing food. It was 10 am after all.

Options were slim I have to say. We settled on Friar’s Nook after seeing a longer queue at Gaston’s place for the Creme Brulee Croissant than we went through for Buzz. I mobile ordered and we made our way over. Tom and I waited whilst everyone else walked over to Pinocchio Haus to get a table. We waited for what felt like an age, but it was at least 20 minutes.

The boys had Hot Dogs and the adults all had these tot bowl things.

Our first LL was due now over at Barnstormer so we walked that way.

Thinking we might not fit in the same carriage, Louise and I sat this one out and had a tactical wee. Dougie absolutely loved what was his first rollercoaster ride.

Our virtual queue for Tiana was called. Louise volunteered to stay with Dougie and took him off for a walk to get him to have a nap. The rest of us walked up through Frontierland.

The wait in the virtual queue was about 40 minutes. It did feel odd that it wasn’t Splash Mountain, which was laced with so many memories for us, but it’s a good ride and Freddie loved it.

We were behind Go Pro guy….

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As we left the ride, I did what I would do upon leaving and/or entering every attraction. I fired up the app to plan our next move or the move after the next three moves in most cases. I noticed that more rides were down and tried to take a picture of the app to show you all but, well…..

Second time lucky.

Obviously, this meant the wait times for anything still open were getting a bit silly.

We secured some of the Tiana “Beg Nets”, as Freddie called them and met up with Louise and a sleeping Dougie. Next, we used our LL for Big Thunder, with Louise and I riding second after sitting with Dougie.

Coffee was required now so we made our way right over to Tomorrowland and the Joffries there. This sort of summed up our experience today really.

That took half an hour only for me to then spill half of my (thankfully cold) coffee over myself when putting my straw in.

Dougie was back with us…

and Freddie was in heaven.

Because we are not stupid, Louise and I sat out with our coffees whilst everyone else rode Astro Orbiter. I took the chance to “fiddle with my fastpasses” in the app and managed to move some stuff around to better suit us. It is a full-time job these days.

Philharmagic next for everyone.

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Look how fresh and happy Dougie is after a good nap. During this trip I had a couple of “million-dollar ideas” and I hereby copyright them.

The first was Disney adding the concept of “Nap Pods” into their parks. They would be similar to the sleep pods in Japan…

You hire one for a couple of hours. They are air-conditioned and soundproof and allow you to catch some sleep before emerging looking as happy as Dougie did.

The second idea was that Disney should sell (much cheaper) dummy magic bands that kids under 3 wear. They beep when scanned but obviously don’t need to work for real. Dougie felt so left out as we all scanned into parks and rides, constantly lifting up his naked wrist to the scanner.

We were first into the theatre and I can confirm we moved all the way to the end of our row to avoid the cast members having to harass us as they did all the idiots sitting down in the middle with a full theatre trying to get in. Both of the boys really enjoyed the show.

We walked straight over to Small World for our LL there.

It was a big hit with Dougie.

Safe to say Freddie enjoys the faster rides these days.

It was time now to make our way out of the park and over to Wilderness Lodge for our Whispering Canyon ADR. The park was rammed and I think we all were welcoming the prospect of some quiet time.

We caught the boat over….

It didn’t take us as long as I expected to get there and we were pretty early for our 5 pm reservation. So we chilled in the lobby for a bit. There are worse places to be.

The camera once again fell into tiny hands.

Freddie then had a go with impressive results.

Mainly….

I had checked in via the app and as soon as they opened at 5 we were seated. Everyone ordered the unlimited skillet apart from Louise who had the Nachos.

Dougie being told no, he can’t have the camera again….

The food was so delicious and we had far more than we should have, getting our skillet refilled a few times. Beyond the odd shout for ketchup, I have to say there are no signs of any of the “shenanigans” that made this place legendary in years gone by. Go for the food as it is delightful, but from our last few visits don’t expect the fun and interaction there may have been in the past. Tom made the most of the bottomless milkshakes on offer here and all up it was $236 including an already-added 18% tip. This was due to our party size.

We waddled back to the boat and sailed back to Magic Kingdom. Golden hour was upon us.

It was getting a little chilly again, so Ryan was raided for Louise’s cardigan and the boys felt the benefit.

The resort monorail and a tram got us back to the car.

The traffic was horrific trying to join the 192. It does appear to be broken. You know of course that around this time we would make our first visit to CVS for vital things we needed but did not bring. We were home by 8 and all soon very much asleep.

As first days go, not our best. We had fun of course, but with so many rides being down it really buggered up the park today and if this were our first experience of Magic Kingdom it would not have been a favourable one. Even getting food and drinks proved troublesome which we have never really seen before. The Multipass thing did save the day I suppose at vast expense, but it’s pretty poor for off-site guests as by three days out there isn’t much left for the headliners and everything else has very few early slots available. You need your first LL to be as soon as you get in the park so that you can use that to then free up the ability to book another tier 1 ride. It’s complicated, expensive and needs constant attention throughout the day. Disney, please change this.

Till the next time…..

The Ump Me, Do You Need A Wee Tour 2024 – Day One Tuesday 15th October

by mkingdon, posted in The Ump Me, Do You Need A Wee Tour 2024

Hello again, for yet another trip report. I have to admit that I have really wrestled with the dilemma of whether to do this one or not. Even on the holiday, finding time to write notes for each day proved to be a challenge and my motivation to then find time every week to craft a post about each day has been severely tested. Life is busy right now and it’s going to be a struggle but in the end, the capturing of what we did to look back on in years to come won out and with scant regard for what will be a thrown-together and low-quality effort, here we are.

The first thing to address and explain is the title. It will mean nothing to anybody not on the trip, so that sounds like a good choice for a title doesn’t it? But, I choose titles from things that mean something for each trip and this is what stood out this time.

Each morning as we left the villa community we had to pass through a gate which opened automatically as we approached. We told the boys that they had to command it to open and from way back in the rear of the SUV, two voices duly obliged. However, Dougie couldn’t quite manage the “Open Sesame” that Freddie was using to open the gate and instead, we got “Ump Me!” at full volume and it always made us smile.

The other theme of the trip was Freddie’s constant denial of needing a wee, which then often presented itself as a problem deep into a queue or halfway through an attraction. I shall save the most innovative solution to that problem somewhere in the very long wait for Smuggler’s Run, for later in the report.

The trip officially started the evening before our flight when we took some “by the door” pics of the boys…

And it continued at 4.30am, with Louise negating the need for the 5 am alarm I had set, with the hair dryer. She had it on, she didn’t hit me with it. I slowly gathered the will to rise and went down to let the dogs out before a quick shower and putting some clothes on. Most airlines insist I find.

As you do in the early hours pre-holiday flight, I undertook some routine household maintenance by pouring some drain unblocker down our shower as I noticed whilst showering that all of my hair must have been starting to block the drain.

We finished the packing without a jot of care for the weight of the cases, being Premium elites, and we loaded the cars and rolled off the drive by 6.10am. The traffic, especially around the unfit-for-purpose M60 was as bad as expected but we arrived at the airport an hour later. We dropped the cars off and left our keys at the overly complex key drop-off thing. The TUI check-in opened literally as we arrived at it, but the Premium desk was operating at less than a Premium speed and we waited a good fifteen minutes to get served.

After a trip to the oversize drop-off place with the car seats we went through security with little bother, other than Tom getting his usual extra special attention. This would continue at every theme park for the entire trip. Ryan the rucksack was diverted for an extra inspection but when the chap brought it forward and looked at the x-ray he said he had no idea why it had been held and handed him straight over.

We wandered through the shops mainly just following the signs for the super swanky lounge we had access to courtesy of our Premium status. We got to reception at 8.15 and we were kindly admitted a full fifteen minutes early simply because I am such a nice chap.

We were guided to some tables and then let loose on the breakfast buffet. That was more than fit for purpose, so I had two lots.

It was very lovely, despite an overly long wait to get a coffee from the self-serve machine as someone had seemingly volunteered to get one for the entire flight.

With food in our bellies, Freddie took it upon himself to use the camera, apologies for a rare appearance by yours truly.

There were less successful photos too.

Thankfully the camera was back in the hands of a professional before too long….

Whilst I had my traditional post-breakfast airport poo, with limited success, everyone else wandered the shops until I caught them up. With all the snacks and things bought we went back into the lounge for a bit and just had a drink.

Hopes that the boys would behave for the next nine hours were stretched….

But with time pressing on we moved down to the gate via the longest airport walk since the last time we walked to a gate at Manchester airport. I needed a third breakfast to replenish the calories. Gate 202 was not only in the next county, but also cramped and busy due to the ongoing works at the airport. We struggled to find a seat.

We boarded when called unusually, mainly as we were in Premium and were one of the first called onto the plane. We then spent about ten frustrating minutes standing on the stairs down to the plane.

Due to our later upgrade to Premium, we weren’t all sat together, with Louise sat with Freddie and I behind them.

The plane pushed back at 11.40, followed by a smooth take-off. As Louise and Freddie started to use their seat back TVs they turned in frustration that they couldn’t hear anything. A brief investigation found that Louise had plugged both their headphones into the power sockets.

Rebecca, Tom and Dougie were sat to the side of us, in the middle.

Drinks came first, along with a menu with a few choices for food.

I had Chicken with Jasmine rice which was very good.

About two hours in I watched the three available episodes of Two and a Half Men, again. After that, I swapped seats with Louise to play cards with Freddie. Louise, not being an anti-social freak like myself, made immediate friends with Gavin who I had been sitting next to for two hours, discovered he was TUI crew off on his holidays and then chatted to him for the rest of the flight.

After cards, Freddie watched Storks and I watched Oceans 12, again. Dougie had a sleep and was generally fantastically behaved despite all our fears in the build-up to the trip. He was intrigued by the seat belt and that pretty much kept him occupied for most of the flight.

Afternoon tea was a sandwich and scone.

After about eight and a half hours we landed.

I have not witnessed any human being more excited and more verbose than Freddie was on that descent into Melbourne. We chatted all the way down during which he asked me questions such as “Is it the clouds that move or the world?”. I somehow avoided displaying my stupidity by changing the subject.

As we were getting our stuff together to disembark, Freddie got hold of the camera and took yet more candid behind the scenes shots.

Once into the airport all of our cases were off very quickly but the two car seats took a frustrating age. After about fifteen minutes we were into and through immigration within a few minutes and off to pick up the car.

A painless experience other than me forgetting to take Tom to the counter with me to add him as the second driver, but we sorted that later in the holiday.

We walked out to the car park and picked up a stunning Jeep Wagoneer.

Here it is a few days later. It easily took all of us and our cases and was a fantastic drive too.

I connected Car Play and fired up the Waze app which was clearly broken as it said it would take two hours to get to the villa.

It took us along the 192 for 90% of the way and most of it was fine, but as we got to Kissimmee the traffic built up and we were crawling through endless traffic lights for what seemed like forever. We made a pit stop to get Louise a drink and it did take the full two hours and a bit more to get there. That last half hour was incredibly frustrating with the boys understandably keen to get to where we were going and there may have been a slight sulk overtaking me.

Traffic issues would be a theme of the trip. In all our years of visiting, we have never seen traffic like it. It’s probably been a couple of years since we stayed anywhere that needed regular use of the 192 and I4 but I don’t what happened in that time, but it was a nightmare.

Upon arrival. we went to the guard house first to get our dashboard pass thing and then drove over to the villa, feeling very happy to finally be there.

The cases were dumped and Rebecca and I drove to the Publix on the US27 to stock up.

There was mild panic as we checked out with three hundred dollars worth of groceries when my credit card was declined. Thankfully, my UK debit card, linked to my Apple wallet on my phone worked so we didn’t have to put it all back. I have no idea why that happened as we had no issues anywhere else all holiday apart from having to be dragged from the table at multiple meals to enter my pin into the payment thing.

Back home we had a sandwich and some crisps before falling into bed around 11pm.

I took some random pictures of bits of the villa.

I don’t know why, but I was very tired.

Till the next time……