Perfume just smells nice!

As mentioned last weekend, we had guests to stay, and we had a lovely time, in good company, with great food.

After lunch on Saturday we had a drive out to Whalley.  A pootle round the shops, and an overly expensive coffee in Maureen Cooksons.  This isn’t some old dear we visited, but a rare thing, an independent department store with a coffee shop where a coffee is a similar price to an item of clothing.  All was well though as Steve paid!!  The highlight had to be the hot chocolate shot.  It was, as it sounds, sickly, overly sweet, and likely to remove a tooth or two, so it was right up my street.

Xmas House
There's a light that never goes out....

Steve and Di took us to a mutual friend’s house, (they live in Whalley, the mutual friends,not Steve and Di) via a local landmark.  The saving grace for this house is that they do it each year for a hospice I think, so it is just about excusable.

A brief stroll later, we stopped for a drink of varying degrees of softness depending upon who was driving (that would be me), and a good chuckle at Mark’s (chap of the house) failing attempts to get his outside xmas lights to work!  How ironic when around the corner, the other house don’t seem to know how to turn them off!

We returned to Bolton, and partook in a Chinese of enormous proportions as promised.  This catering option is not totally driven by our lack of culinary skills, but more by Steve’s hankering for a decent Chinese takeaway.  They live “in the sticks” and their nearest take out is a good twenty minute drive away.

The rest of the evening was spent chatting and playing games on the Wii and Xbox.  Not Black Ops of course, not with mixed company so we resorted to Scene It instead.  It isn’t important, but I won.  Just saying!

Apollo, it was just me at 11.15!!

Again, pre-empted by a series of moany tweets, Sunday night saw me happily picking the girls up from the Manchester Apollo, following a Youmeatsix gig.  I ranted a little at certain parents being allergic to getting off their arse past seven o’clock to pick their kids up, and instead rely on others (always us) to do the honours.  This is because we refuse to let a thirteen and fifteen year old get home from Manchester on public transport after 11pm, on a school night.  Yes, I do sound 106, but I’m not bothered.  That is just ridiculous.

They would rather they took this chance than not have a drink all night and go and pick up their daughter.  Knowing all this they “offer” to drop them off at the train station on the outward journey.  Gee, thanks.

On to the week, and as those who endure my tweetage will know, the weather conditions are having a detrimental effect on the garage conversion.  I fully appreciate as ever, that the weather is both worse elsewhere, and affecting many more serious issues than us gaining a  bedroom, however, I can only write of my own experiences!!

This week was all about removing the garage door, and replacing it with a window and wall.  I guess now, we are right on the cusp of stopping calling it a garage, and starting to call it a bedroom.  The construction of the front wall took three days rather than one, due to snow and frozen sand, but we are all but water tight now.  Hopefully with the rest of the work being inside we can make good progress this next week.

I did learn this week, that the best directory of “workmen” is to be had by a relative being a member of a golf club.  My Dad is, and whenever we have something that needs doing we usually give him a bell, as no doubt within the ranks of golfers there is at least one of every profession.  This held true this week, as we needed an aerial sorting, quickly, for the new bedroom.  It had to be done asap as we are wall mounting the TV, and so the cables had to be laid before they finished boarding the walls.

One call to my Dad, a referral to a Steve, and he was there the next day, doing his thing, for a very reasonable price.

With the project coming to a full head of steam now, it has been a bit of a shock to my system.  The amount of money I have had to spend this week has been frankly quite distressing.  It is all (more or less) budgeted for, but it appears that everything is required now.  Bathroom stuff, tiles, TV, aerial for TV, the list is endless.  Well, it isn’t really as it just ended, but you know what I mean.  This outflow of cash goes against my natural instincts!

Christmas came a little early on Friday evening.  With my brother going over to France to his house for the whole of Christmas and New Year, we had a family meal on Friday evening to exchange gifts.  We had another Chinese, and I knew it was good as I was so full I was in considerable pain.  The true sign of a good meal.  As we headed for home the snow came.  It was so bad that we couldn’t get the Mondeo up the hill to our house and had to park it up and walk the last few hundred yards.  This was big snow, and it was to keep us housebound for all of Saturday!

Speaking of which, how can it have come to pass that I have made it to the ripe old age of 40 without ever seeing It’s a Wonderful Life?  I know not, but that was the case until yesterday afternoon.


Snow Mini
Snow chance of going out

With more snow outside than backstage at a Depeche Mode gig, we literally could do little else yesterday than settle down to watch one of the many Christmas films that Sky were dusting off.  Having sat through the first half hour of Home Alone 2 earlier with Rebecca, I marshalled Louise and Emily onto the couch, cracked open a box of Quality Street and settled in.  For those wondering, Rebecca was going out with a friend to get their fringes wet in the snow.

I'll never get my Mondeo up that hill in this weather!
I was, as you may have guessed delighted with it, and somewhat surprised at the way the comedy in it still works today.  James Stewart is well, there aren’t words I can use to describe his performance.  Classic.
Looking at Facebook later, it seemed half the western world were also tuned into the same film!
Now then, speaking of stuff on the TV, I have to comment upon something that bugs me more with every passing pre xmas day.  I appreciate this is a propos of nothing, but I can make my own rules here.
What the hell is going on with these ridiculous perfume ads??  I have never come across such arty, pretentious, up it’s own arse drivel in my life.
I can only imagine the conversations around boardroom tables in advertising agencies across the land throughout August.
“So here’s my concept, we get some hairy bloke to dive off a cliff into water, and then as he gets out, he shakes his hair all sexy like, and flexes his love handles a bit.  All the time he is being watched by some decent looking bint, and this will sell loads of toilet water”.
Even though diving into water would remove any smelly stuff from his flabby body, I can almost see a connection between the product “Cool Water” and him lobbing himself off a cliff into the sea.
However, my absolute favourite of this festive campaign is this nonsense….
From what I can make out this appears to be some sort of game of charades.  This blonde piece is like some sort of modern-day Una Stubbs, acting out some sort of very long and complicated film.  If you watch closely at one point she definitely does the sign for two syllables!!  My guess is One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest!
Even ones that seem to have a very good premise, which in this case is Charlize getting her baps out, they have to go and spoil it all by having her talk French.
Nearly every perfume ad is done in French, and based on my assumption that less than 5% of the UK population can speak French (well, why would you!) this cannot be a sensible ploy.  You don’t see other products sold this way. It simply wouldn’t work.
Vous ne pouvez pas obtenir plus vite qu’un installateur ajustement kwik.  Let’s see how sales go off the back of that ad campaign shall we?
So to all thick rimmed spectacle wearing, pink shirted, pointy shoed, £100 cuff link wearing twonks who work in advertising, (and I have met many in the line of duty) perfume makes you smell nice.  It does not make you look like that berk on the cliff or give you jumblies like Charlize Theron, so please don’t insult and offend us with this constant stream of arty nonsense.
and breathe….
Till the next time……

2 thoughts on “Perfume just smells nice!

  1. Can I just ask does your better half have a go at you for complaining about perfume ads or is it just me.. Every time a black and white scene of Paris appears all I hear is “just don’t start o.k.”

  2. Even my son commented on the perfum ads tonight. “Why are they all snogging…weirdos” I think a 10 year old can teach us a lot. He also wonders who or what a Clooney is and why he sells coffee.

    Good luck with your conversion. I still have memories of ours 3 years ago. You will note I say memories, not fond, just memories.

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