Would they notice if I didn’t do my notice?

This working your notice lark is tedious beyond compare.

Not only am I now handing over longer term projects to other suckers…I mean colleagues, as I won’t be here to see them through, but I am also trying to get my head around my new job too.  So in effect, I’m busier than usual when you may think a notice period is a time for late starts, early finishes and lots of internet browsing.

Naturally, I have partaken quite heavily in all three of those activities too, as I am slowly turning down my give-a shit-ability for my old/current role.  That is easier said than done though, as ten years is a long time, and I have literally done the whole blood sweat and tears stuff trying to do a decent job for almost all of that time.  Stopping that, and “letting go” is tough.

So I’m four weeks in, and have another eight to do.  Sigh.

It’s funny after working somewhere for ten years that once you have taken the massive step of politely telling them where to stick their god awful job (ahem), your mind starts to wonder about the small things, the changes in routine that a new job means.  Let me list a few, as we haven’t had a list of any sort for a good few posts now…

The commute – I could do the calculations for how many times I have driven to and from my office, but frankly even I am not that bored…give me another few weeks though and I’ll know the exact number.  Anyway, my point is that I know the route, and the exact time required in all weather conditions and at all times of year down to the nearest second.  My new job is roughly an equal distance away but obviously a different route.  On the first day I shall have to leave before I go to bed to make sure I am not late!

The school run – My current job allows me to eject the kids at Grandmas each morning for their breakfast before school.  My new one probably won’t so we shall have to trust the little bleeders to get themselves out of the house unaided to catch a bus.  At thirteen and (soon to be) fifteen you would hope we can be confident of that…..

My fitness – You may well know I am renowned for my athleticism, toned physique and all round hunkiness, and this is due to a lunchtime ritual, usually three or four times a week in the gym at the hotel next door to my office.  Alas, this will no longer be possible in the new job, so despite the upside of saving £30 a month on the membership, I may well be thirty stone by Christmas!

My ability to do the job – A strange one you may think, but I feel I have made a decent fist of the current job, and have risen meteorically through the ranks over the last ten years, or more accurately, avoided being found out and sacked.  Starting a new role, at a new company, doing something pretty different is ever so slightly worrying.

World Cup Trophy
Didn't Jules Rimet play for Bolton?

There are a thousand other little niggles, and being frank, this seemingly endless notice period is just giving me more time to fester over them.

By the time I start my new job England may have won the World Cup (and I don’t mean cricket), Wimbledon will have happened, the girls will more or less have finished another school year, and Katie Price, after becoming pregnant with triplets, will have had a third boob installed so she can feed all three at once whilst posing for her OK shoot.

So whilst I have always been quite satisfied with my three months notice period, thinking that the buggers will need to throw me a load of cash if they wanted to make me redundant, I am now on the flip side of that, contemplating insulting the MD or assaulting someone in the canteen to secure an early exit.

Minor criminal acts aside, it looks like I am here till mid July.

On a totally unrelated topic, the annual ritual of desperately trying to lose a pound or two in order that I don’t need to buy any new holiday clothes has begun.  For most of the year, my trips to the gym are really just used to allow me to eat unlimited amounts of trash at weekend without ending up being winched through my front window.  Now that the time approaches where I actually need to be seen in public in a T Shirt and shorts, I have to reign back the calorie intake for the next few weeks/months.

Alan Partridge
The Boys are Back in the Barracks

Louise berates me every year to invest in new holiday gear, especially shorts.  Yes I may have had them for many a year, but I only wear them say twice each in a fortnight, so in elapsed wearing time they are probably the newest items of clothes I own.

If you’ve seen the Alan Partridge episode involving his shorts then I have some way to go until my boys are out of the barracks!  However many of my shorts are considerably older than Justin Bieber, but then again most things are.

They are also more entertaining too, but that’s another story.

What I haven’t done for a while is comment on the films we have watched courtesy of our Tesco DVD Rental club thing.  This weekend we had a couple that were enjoyable.  We started on with Law Abiding Citizen with Gerard Butler (who Louise fancies).

I had high hopes for this one, and it did keep my attention with a plot full of twists and turns, however it did start to stretch the bounds of realism after ten minutes.  I have no issue with that….I have after all watched Con Air more than once, but it just turned into a very different film than I expected.

We then settled in for what turned out to be the marathon that is 2012.  I had a feeling it was a long one, but did not expect the two and half hour marathon that followed.  Again, an enjoyable action packed film that more or less justified the numb bum caused by the length of it.  Of the two films, I’d say this was the more popular in the Williams household.

I hear there is to be a vacancy on Film 2010 after Mr Ross leaves the BBC.  Surely I am a cert for that role with such insightful film reviews?

I don’t think any other post to date has taken such a windy route from one unrelated topic to another, so it is probably best to draw to a close now.

Till the next time…..

3 thoughts on “Would they notice if I didn’t do my notice?

  1. To facilitate a rapid exit from your current employer have you considered saying “Yeh mon” in a bad Jamaican accent after every conversation? It lacks the joy of unadulterated violence but does unsettle in a more alarming way……that Partridge image is just disturbing by the way.

    1. Honestly Gordon, with the state of affairs at my current employer, no-one would consider that odd behaviour. Too long a tale to tell her, but the place has gone mad. Yeh mon!

  2. In answer to your title, no, but they will very shortly afterwards, but they’ll pretend they don’t.

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