Tag: vision express

Expensive Eyes And Ageing Thighs

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon

I’ve just been for an eye test and to sort out some new glasses. I haven’t done so for a good few years and being crap and old now it seemed I had a choice of getting new glasses or to have surgery on my arms to allow me to hold things far enough away from my failing eyes to be able to read it.

Knowing now what the costs of said new glasses are, as I need varifocals and all sorts of coatings and add ons I think it would have been cheaper to grow a new human and farm their healthy eyes instead. I did get a second pair for a heavily discounted price and chose to get some sunglasses in the hope that at some point in my life I will again be in some sunshine. My current pair have that thing where they turn dark in sunlight and I have hated it since the day I picked them up. I appreciate the UV protection but resent looking like half of Peters and Lee at the first sign of daylight.

This aging process is pretty much all rubbish. Not only is my eyesight like that of a 100-year-old bat, my metabolism is now so slow that last week I walked past a Labrador called Chocolate and put on four pounds. Also, why am I perpetually exhausted? I didn’t feel this tired with two kids under eighteen months to deal with and one of those didn’t sleep AT ALL until she was about twelve (Hi Rebecca!). These days if I have the audacity to be awake beyond midnight I spend the next day mainlining coffee and sugary goods to stay awake at the wheel.

I have long since been doing the audible rise. You don’t know what is? Well, if you are of a similar age to me you will. It’s when you get up and have to make a noise to do so. My body is supposed to last me at least another 30 odd years or so but with current trends I am not sure how it can.

Today of course sees thousands of folks running around London for a distance that I get tired driving. I wish you all well and do please post some more about it on social media. I think you are seriously underplaying it 🙂 I am in awe of your athleticism and dedication. I ran a bath recently and had to ingest three cans of Ralgex to get over it.

So with my new eyes on order I await the ability to see with baited breath. If you work in marketing at Vision Express might I suggest a rebrand? Two to three weeks isn’t what I would class as Express to be honest and I think there is only Carphone Warehouse who need a new name more than you do. With what I have just paid for my new glasses you can now fund a national TV and billboard campaign announcing your name change to Vision At A Leisurely Pace.

Of course at this point I should post the oft seen internet Meme which says something like…

I know that in another ten years or so, should I be blessed with still being around, I will look back on today and wonder how I moaned when I was so young/thin/athletic. I do that now on those days I referred to above when the kids were very small. At the time, I’m sure I felt like a zombie and that it would never end. I blinked and it did and now they are grown and I miss them being small.

In a week with yet more high-profile deaths, which, like most of the other notable passings this year were at an age far too young to be anywhere close to acceptable I should embrace my shoddy eyes, aching limbs and lack of energy and be grateful. Or at least see a doctor! Which reminds me, I’m at the dentist first thing tomorrow where I can give someone else lots of money to attempt to save my failing body from the ravages of time.

I should go for a nap, or a lie down in front of some crap TV now, but some fool has ordered some flat pack furniture which got delivered today. It now sits in the hall mocking me, daring me to attempt its erection. That’s a whole different story about getting old which I shall not cover here.

Till the next time….

Holiday Hi-Tecs and Holes

by mkingdon, posted in mkingdon, Walt Disney World

Having spent all of last week’s blog going on about our upcoming holiday, then this week I should be blogging about some other topic to retain the interest of (both) my readers. Yeh, there’s absolutely no chance of that I’m afraid. With our departure impending, having not gone last year I feel massively out of practice now, convinced that I have missed some crucial part of the planning process and the whole thing will be a disaster. So once again this blog will be awash with a smug “almost on our holidays” glow.

I undertook all of my holiday shopping this week. It took about twenty-four minutes in a lunch hour and ten of those were the time it took to drive from the first shop to the second. Two pairs of shorts, a cap for the protecting of my slight bald spot, some under garments (which had been pre-ordered weeks in advance as no-one makes them large enough to accommodate my junk!), socks and of course the customary bright white trainers.

Every time I go to buy my Florida trainers I try on almost every pair in the shop. As much as I am a cool hipster type dude with my finger on the very pulse of fashion, this buying decision is 99% driven by the comfort factor. It’s all very well turning up for one of these holidays in those deck shoes or every so trendy “kicks” but two days into theme park touring and you’re in a wheelchair or hospital using a bed pan due to your inability to put any weight on your feet.

So after the ritual of trying on all of the big brands, without fail I find that the ones which feel the most comfy are these Hi-Tec favourites. They are, I believe, what the “yoots” would call Box Fresh…..

white trainers 15They will not win any fashion awards but they have loads of support and crucially are white enough to make both my daughters cringe with embarrassment whenever I have them on. So with that tradition complete, we must be nearly ready for the off now?

The other shopping trip, which happened yesterday, was to the opticians. It wasn’t because I had blinded a family member with my lovely trainers, but instead to get Emily some new glasses. She’s worn contacts or glasses since she was in her teens, but the chances of her wearing contacts for her long shifts in Florida heat are slim, so she needed a new pair of glasses that she’d be happy to wear more of the time. It was relatively straight forward as she wanted plain black frames so, once she’d chosen we sat with one of the assistants at Vision Express.

In the league table of companies that desperately need to change their name, Vision Express stand second, only lagging behind Carphone Warehouse as companies who now have a name that make no sense in relation to what they do. Emily was told that it could take three and a half weeks for her glasses to be ready. If that’s Express then I’m Usain Bolt over one hundred metres. So if they don’t arrive before we go she’ll make do with her old ones until we get back home and post them over to her.

Yesterday I also dug out all of my holiday clothes. It is at this point that I discover two things –

  1. I own more shorts and T-shirts than I thought I did, so why did I buy more?
  2. Have I lost enough weight to fit into said holiday clothes?

In response to point two, then, not in all cases, but then again I’ve owned some of them since I had hair so I don’t feel too bad about those. Broadly speaking the efforts of the last few weeks mean that the huge amounts of weight I will gain in the US won’t mean I need a whole new wardrobe when I return (hopefully) and I can wear mostly the same summer attire I have for the last decade or so.

So all of my gear now sits ironed in the wardrobe ready to be packed. I am now moving on to other tasks such as digging out my camera (remember those?) to see if it still works and where the hell those rechargeable batteries are.

In other Disney news this week, if you follow any of the folks I do on social media, you cannot fail to have noticed that the D23 convention is in progress. At times, it has been all I have seen, but maybe that’s a reflection of who I follow. This blog has never really been a Disney blog, although it is probably the reason many of you know of me, and it often gets a mention. There are many reasons why the content meanders onto all sorts of day to day stuff too, mainly as there are many other better Disney blogs around, and living too far away from it, I could never produce the quantity and quality of content others do. Plus, when I don’t have a trip booked I have a right sulk on and often don’t want to write about Disney.

Anyway, it seems there are numerous incredible things coming up. I don’t know any of the detail so you’ll be better going to find someone else to tell you those but I have picked up on the new Star Wars Land at DHS which goes someway to explain the many closures and changes there, along with a new Pixar Land at the same park. Then with Avatar Land at DAK, regardless of whether you think it is the right thing to do, what is clear is that there is huge investment going on and it may be simpler just to pay my future salaries directly to Disney as it is clear there will be endless reasons to return in the coming years.

This is no doubt Disney’s response to the huge Harry Potter investment over at Universal and of course they will now feel pressure to respond in kind. This competition is great for us tourists as they battle for our dollars. The sheer volume of attractions and things to do in Florida is and will be incredible. We have been watching recent videos of the parks and there does seem to be a huge amount of work already in progress in many of them. It’s always a concern that this will somehow detract from the enjoyment of a park but it is unavoidable and inevitable as we demand improvements and investment to keep our interest. The only answer is to keep going back of course to see all those bits that were boarded off last time!

So we sit so close now to what has probably been the most complicated and stressful holiday to plan, with changes to the original touring party, Emily’s change of circumstances and her subsequent new start date coinciding with our pre-planned holiday and an endless series of real life dramas and events that have made the last year or two interesting to say the least. At this point, with all the planning done, all we can hope is that it goes well, everyone stays healthy (it would be a nice change) and fun is had by all concerned.

My only other hope now is that the remaining week and a bit at work are bearable. An extra challenge appears to be that the Mancunian Way collapsed on Friday, with a huge sink hole closing it in both directions for weeks to come. That hole is about five minutes from my office and represents pretty much my only sensible route into work. My commute is already hellish so what on earth will happen now I don’t know.  Clearly, I need to leave the country for a while!

See you next week for the final pre-trip blog.

Till the next time….