Pointing Towards My Incompetence

Welcome to May. How nice it is to look out of the window and see those lovely blue spring skies with temperatures well into the teens.  Wait…..what???

This weather MAY be crap

It is because we live in such a diabolical climate that we are such a testy and irritable bunch most of the time. Sitting with the heating on watching the rain pound against the window does nothing to lift the spirits after such a long and weary winter.

We live in a house that is fairly old and having stood for over a hundred years enduring a climate which typically includes about 300 wet days each year, it has of course developed its fair share of issues. These issues are the house’s way of expressing its own disgust at the shite weather it had the misfortune to be built in. It has younger cousins sat in lovely sunny temperatures in other parts of the world that post selfies on the internet to taunt our house.

Since we’ve been here, which is over three years now, our gable end (that technical term is the absolute extent of my building jargon) has had issues. We’ve had bouts of damp which is no surprise as this wall stands unprotected against the worst that Bolton’s weather can throw at it. I’ve been in denial for all of that time that it needed re-pointing. Most of that reticence has been down to the cost of what sounds like a horrendously expensive job of course, but some of it has also been down to the fact that I don’t really know what pointing is, beyond it being something I can’t do.

This is where my Dad steps in. Jobs like this roll off his back like the perpetual rain does off our leaky wall. It helps of course that all of his working life was spent in the building trade rather than sat at a desk poncing about on a  computer. It was only when he went into the office as estimator and then Director that he was afforded the luxury of working inside.

So whilst I have ponced about on my computer my Dad called a friend and arranged for some scaffolding to be put up. This is black magic in itself and I went to work one day with a bare wall and returned with a structure more complex than Spaceship Earth at Epcot attached to the end of my house. Over the next few days my Dad made his way up and down said scaffolding with whatever mixture you need in order to point something, making things better. My Dad doesn’t believe he is the age he is of course, so did not give this a second thought!

Once the pointing was done he then went on to spray the wall with some magical mixture that waterproofs it for the next couple of millenia. Suffice to say that our gable end now needn’t fear the weather or indeed nuclear holocaust within my lifetime. I have no idea what we would have done without my Dad’s intervention and expertise, other than employ some bloke to do it and sacrifice our entire disposable income for the next decade to do so.

So we’re grateful for the help and in return all I can offer is to continue to sort out his iPad every now and again. Slightly less manly but no less essential skills.

This lack of spring hasn’t stopped Louise going into full spring clean mode and I sit typing this surrounded by clutter from our various cupboards that I now have to sort through and place into a “bin it” pile and a “save it forever” pile. Somehow it seems that my Mum saved every single book for every single subject I ever did at school. Amongst them is a Life Story project from primary school which is looking a little worse for wear now, but includes gold such as this….

life story 1 life story 2 life story 3

Looking back at the quality of this, it is no wonder I went to have such a high-flying career and went on to write several best-selling novels…oh, wait…..never mind.

Till the next time…..

Alice, Archie and a Sugar Rush

You do not find me in the happiest of places.

I stare at my diary for the week, and my heart is filled with dread and horror at the utter nonsense I have to get through this week.  Presentations, disciplinaries (three of them!!) and generally stuff I really resent wasting my life on.  The desire for sunshine is immense right now, but alas not quite as immense as the gaping hole where my bank balance should be, so on I trundle, countdown-less.

Peter Capaldi
Angry Man!

The weekend shot by in record time it seems, and I find myself back at my desk again, tired and unrefreshed.  Last night however I did watch a superb film, which I caught by accident.  In the Loop was brilliant, witty, frenetic, and seemed to be over in about ten minutes.  A sure sign of a good film.  The character played by Peter Capaldi was pure genius, and is surely how everyone wants to behave at work, just for one day!!

Sunday also saw me escort Rebecca to her friend’s house to visit their new puppy Archie.  He’s a Bichon Frise (small white fluffy dog), and has cornered the market in cuteness.  Rebecca in turn adopted her puppy eyes in a desperate attempt to get one of her own.  Not a chance!!  We tried the puppy thing a few years ago, with a lovely Basset Hound called Truman, but heartbreakingly we had to rehome him as we just didn’t have the time he needed, as we both worked full time at the time.

I am never going through that again!!  In no way did I get emotional at the time, and “get something in my eye” as I handed him over.

Archie the dog
Cuteness be thy name

In what is sounding like an action packed weekend we also went to see Alice in Wonderland at our local cinema.  What a kerfuffle!  With our usual detailed advanced planning we decided to go about thirty minutes before it was due to start.  I tried in vain to book tickets on the website, and only encountered errors.  I even tried the quaint method of phoning them up, but still problems intervened.

In the end we just jumped in the car and drove there.  The queue we encountered was of WDW proportions….on New Years Eve…..for Soarin’.  Still, if I ran a cinema how could I have predicted such a large attendance on the weekend of the launch of one of the biggest films of the year!  Add to that, all the ticket collection machines were down too, so everyone had to join the queue, even if they had booked on the error ridden website!!  With this in mind it should have come as no surprise that only three staff were serving.

We resolved to queue but get tickets for the 7pm show, and adjourn to a local eatery to while away the intervening hours.  You can see how this was turning into a very expensive trip to the cinema.  Frankie and Bennys received our custom, with all the waiting staff in fancy dress to “celebrate” the launch of Alice in Wonderland.  If they knew about it, how come the cinema didn’t?  A steak ciabbatta later and we’re back at the cinema (via a swift detour to Asda to secure cheapo sweets as I needed petrol anyway), and lo, another queue to enjoy.

So after a lovely thirty minute wait we watched all the people we were queuing with earlier exit the film, and look at us in a weird way, wondering how and/or why we were in the queue for the film that they saw us queue up for earlier, with them.

Eventually we enter, and having queued we bag a good seat, and the pick n mix begins.  The film passes in a haze of fried eggs, chocolate raisins, white mice and mini eggs, and I hit a sugar induced coma just as the Jabberwocky appears.  Who said the drugs don’t work.  The film itself was better than I expected if I am honest.  I have never watched any version of an Alice film all the way through, from the animated Disney one to the cruelly low budget ones, such as a dreadful 70’s version with Fiona Fullerton.

I was pleasantly surprised to get into it (after what felt like a slow start) and actually enjoy it.  Good job, saying the whole trip cost north of £100!!  Tight, me, never!!!!

The other main theme of the weekend was Louise coming over all spring cleaner on us.  Apparently it was required that we and Emily swap bedrooms, which Louise did more or less unaided on her day off on Thursday, but the weekend meant a massive clear out of years of crud which we have accumulated nicely.  Needless to say a trip to the tip was in order, and about seven hours of pulling stuff out of wardrobes, looking at it, and then trying to push it back in again ensued.

No wonder the weekend went quickly!!  How I managed to fit in a good few hours of Call of Duty I will never know.

I also received a lovely email from a Dibber, who had spent the weekend reading my trip reports.  He was very complimentary about my ramblings which is always lovely to hear.  My ego knows no beginnings!!

This was an extraordinary email which really touched me (something in my eye again), as it outlined their own personal battles to get to Florida after Travel City went bang, and many other challenges seemed to be attracted to them.  Needless to say the troubles were overcome, they went to WDW and it changed their lives.  As the message ended with him telling me he’d just booked again, I lost all empathy and cursed the swine for being able to go this year when I can’t!!!  🙂

For clarity that was an attempt at humour.

Till the next time…..